Demons in the Night
By
Inky Shades
Chapter I: A Nightmare
My feet are rooted in the castle hall. I can't move. I want to scream, but I can't. Only silence escapes my mouth. The frost—my frost—continues to spread out in front of me. And then there's Anna, my beloved sister Anna. She stands at the other end of the hall, oblivious to the danger encroaching on her.
"Run, Anna! Run!" I feel my lips move, but no sound comes out my mouth.
Why can't I stop my powers? I can't have this happen, again. I can't hurt Anna! In desperation, I struggle against my invisible bindings. The frost is close upon her. She has to know it's there. She has to feel its presence. Why doesn't she run?
I reach my left hand out towards her. "Please Anna; get away from here, away from me!" I feel the distress in my vocal cords as my voice struggles to make noise, any noise.
The frost penetrates Anna's body. I scream, feeling the rawness in my throat. She stumbles backwards, peering at her hands. Her fingers turn blue. No, Anna! The ice creeps up her arms. She looks at me, horrified.
"Elsa, why did you do this to me? I thought you loved me." Her words are like a knife in my heart and the rejected look in her eyes is like a twist to the blade. She freezes. A single breath escapes her mouth.
My vision blurs as I break free of my bindings. I run to Anna's frozen form. "Anna!" My scream echoes throughout the hall. "Anna, I didn't mean to. It wasn't me!" As I try to wrap Anna in my arms, I phase through her. My momentum crashes me into the floor. Glancing back, Anna is no longer there. "Please don't leave me…"
"Elsa, what have you done?" The voice of my father booms around me.
"Papa? It was an accident!" All of a sudden, I feel like I'm eight, again.
The hall melts away. I now find myself standing in the castle courtyard. My hands feel constricted. I raise my hands and see that they're enclosed in shackles. It takes me a moment longer to notice the other hundred people in the courtyard with me. Their faces are blank, but I can feel the hate radiating from them.
I try to run away, back towards the castle doors. However, I only get halfway when my chains pull taught. The sudden stop to my movement causes me to fall on my butt. I'm so close to the door. Grabbing hold of my chains, I try to pull them to get the few feet I need to escape. To my horror, my chains pull back, pulling me up to my feet and dragging me closer to the courtyard's center. The crowd obstructs my view of the person pulling my chains. Then the pulling stops. I feel so small and helpless as the crowd encircles me, preventing me from another running attempt.
"An accident you say? Ha! Then why where you trying to runaway if you're "innocent"?" I recognize that voice. A moment later, the Duke of Weselton pushes his way through the crowd and points an accusatory finger at me. "I bet she purposefully killed the young princess!"
"I-I'm not lying! How can you say that? She… she disappeared before my eyes!" My voice sounds as tiny as I feel looking up at the old duke.
"How pitiful"—I see Hans push through the crowd in front of me—"she's created a lie so that she doesn't have to accept responsibility for her sister's death." As he rattles my chains, his lips curl into a devilish smile.
"Bu-but I didn't… She couldn't be." My eyes well up with tears.
"Then how do you explain that?" This time the crowd parts itself, revealing my papa. My papa's eyes are red and puffy as he points to a large stone in the center of the courtyard, a gravestone.
"Anna… no, please. Not that, anything but that." Tears stream down my face.
"There's only one punishment befitting a crime as treasonous as this." Hans's smile turns cruel. "Execution."
E-execution? My eyes open wide. "No, wait, please. I never wanted her to get hurt. I swear I'm telling you the truth!"
"So, you admit that you played a part in poor, young Anna's demise." Hans waggles his finger at me. "Tsk, tsk. Duke, what do you have to say about this revelation?"
"Hmph! What do I have to say?" The Duke of Weselton adjusts the hem of his shirt. "The child is a monster. She killed her own sister; evidence enough of how far-gone she is. We must protect the citizens of Arendelle. I say we remove her."
I hold my hands up, palms open. Or at least I would if I didn't have the shackles around my hands. With a tentative step backwards, I say, "If… if you'll just let me go, I'll run to the mountains. You'll never have to see me again." My heart races as I glance at the adults around me. The Duke of Weselton, Hans, Papa… they all look at me like I said something wrong.
"Let you run? How cute. Do you think you can escape the justice you deserve?" Hans asks. He turns to my papa. "Your Majesty, of course your opinion matters more than either the duke's opinion or my own. What do you have to say on this matter?"
I glance up at my papa. "Papa, please. I… I'm your daughter."
My papa glares at me, causing me to make myself look even smaller. "You are not my daughter!" he says spit flying from his mouth. "You gave up that right the moment you killed your sister! Execution is the only way."
For what feels like an eternity, I just stare at my papa. Though, it couldn't have been for more than a few seconds. My heart feels like it has stopped beating. I want to beg him to reconsider, but my words die in my throat. My legs give out under me.
"That settles it. Execution it is! Your Majesty, I would be honored if you'd give me your blessing to carry out the sentence," Hans says.
"You have my blessing, Prince Hans," my papa says.
"Papa…" Hans yanks on my shackles, forcing me to my feet.
As Hans drags me closer to the courtyard's center, I see a grey stone next to Anna's grave. Was that stone always there? Does it matter? My heart races when I see dark red stains on the stone's surface. I struggle against my bindings, but Hans's grip doesn't falter.
"Papa! Stop! I'm begging you! What about Mama?" My words are desperate, but I hope they reach him.
"My wife has been stricken with grief since our daughter's death. She hasn't left our bedchambers since discovering our daughter's ice-cold body. I'm sure she will have peace when the murderer is brought to justice!" I'm barely able to hear my papa's words over the roar of the crowd.
"Elsa." I hear a little girl's voice, but it sounds so distant, so familiar…
"Anna!" I cry. "Anna, is that you?"
"Elsa," the little girl's voice says again. Yes, there's no mistaking it. That is Anna's voice I hear, but where is she?
"Anna, where are you? Anna, help me, tell them I didn't kill you!"
"Elsa, Elsa!" Anna's voice changes to that of a young woman. It gets louder, too.
Hans forces my head onto the stone. "Anna, please… help me." I hear the sound of a sword being drawn. With all the force I can muster, I scream, "Anna!" The cold blade makes contact with the back of my neck…
My eyes shoot open as I lurch forward in my bed. Immediately, I feel the back of my neck. Thank goodness, my head is still attached to my body. With my free hand, I clutch my chest. My heart feels like it wants to explode. It was just a dream.
"Elsa!" I turn my head to see Anna standing by my bedside. "Are you okay? I heard you calling my name. Well, more like screaming it. I ran as fast as I could." I can hear the worry in her voice.
"Anna?" I know I'm not dreaming, but I have difficulty believing that she's here, standing before me. As I reach towards Anna's face, tears fill my eyes. I stop myself just shy of touching her cheek. What if she fades into nothingness if I touch her, or turns to ice? My hand shakes. I can feel the cold on the tips of my fingers.
Anna's eyes glisten as she grabs me by my wrist and brings my hand to her face. She gasps a little as my cold hand touches her. "I'm here, Elsa," she says with a sniffle.
I feel her soft skin under my fingertips. She is here, not fading away, not turning to ice, not dead, alive and safe. "Anna, you're here. You're really here!" my voice cracks as I throw my arms around her, forgetting about my fear of hurting her. Tears roll down my cheeks.
"Of course I am," Anna says, returning the hug. Wrapped in her warmth, I feel safe. "What's wrong?" She asks, pulling away just enough to look me in the eyes.
"It… it's nothing." I feel myself closing off my emotions. It was just a dream, an insignificant dream. But she died. I hurt her. What if I hurt her, again? This time it wouldn't be a dream. No, I can't risk her safety. I look away from her, taking a deep breath. Conceal, I tell myself. "I'm sorry to have disturbed your slumber," I say with a perfect, even tone, years of training paying off for this moment.
"Don't worry about me. The sky's still awake, remember? Now stop trying to shut me out, and tell me what's bothering you." Anna sits on the edge of my bed.
Don't feel. "It was just a dream, that's all. A simple dream that has no bearing on reality at all," I say bringing my knees to my chest. Conceal, don't feel. Conceal, don't feel. I repeat part of the mantra in my mind, but it's useless. I can feel the cracks forming in my mask. Please leave, Anna.
"Elsa, you don't have to deal with things by yourself anymore. Please, tell me what's wrong."
Don't let it show, but would it hurt? Maybe I could tell her part of it. That wouldn't be such a bad thing, right? If it's just a little… I take a deep breath, steeling myself against the fear.
"It's just—you died because of my powers. I couldn't stop them, and they killed you!" Too much, Elsa, stop. But I can't, the cracks have turned to fissures. The words pour out of me. "I wanted to stop them. Everyone called me a monster. They said I killed you on purpose! Even Papa said so!" You are not my daughter! You gave up that right the moment you killed your sister! My dream papa's words make my façade collapse. I bring my knees closer to my body as I sob into my arms. "They executed me."
"Oh Elsa, I'm so sorry." I feel Anna place her hand on my arm. Her touch is soft, comforting, but I can feel the cold radiating from my body. I don't want to hurt her. As much as it pains me, I shrug off her hand. I keep my head buried in my arms, not bearing to make eye contact with her, not wanting to see the pain in her eyes.
"Don't touch me, Anna! I'm a monster." The sooner you realize this, the better.
"No you're not. Don't say that!" She sounds so sure of herself.
"But I am!" I decide to look into her eyes. Big mistake. Her eyes are wet with tears, tears that exist because of me. "I hurt you! The one thing I never wanted to do, the one thing I swore I'd never let happen. But I did more than that. I… I killed you. I actually killed you."
"But you didn't." Anna looks at me with her soft blue eyes. "I came back." She places her hands on my shoulders, despite how cold my body has become.
"We got lucky this time. What if love isn't strong enough to bring you back the next time I lose control of my powers?" I shake my head. "No, it's just a matter of time before I hurt you, again."
"It was my fault. I pushed you too hard. If I hadn't, then I never would've been hit in the first place."
It pains me to hear her trying to take the blame for something that wasn't her fault. I lost control. I sent that cursed shard of ice into her heart. It was an accident though. I didn't—no, no excuses. The frozen visage of Anna enters my mind. Accident or not, only a monster could hurt her own sister. She'd be better off without me.
"You should've let Hans kill me." My voice is barely louder than a whisper.
Yet I know Anna heard me. She releases her grip on me and recoils back as if physically struck. Her eyes are wide, and I can see her tears in the moonlight. She's in pain, I know. All I ever do is cause her pain. She doesn't deserve a sister as terrible as me, and I don't deserve a sister as wonderful as her. This time, at least, I have her best interest in mind. Just like last time, I remind myself.
"Elsa, how can you say that?" I can see Anna's breath as she speaks, strange. "After everything we've been through, after everything we've lost, how can you even suggest that?" Anna's whole body shakes. I assume it's because she's upset—and that has to be part of it, but now I notice the frost that covers my room. How long has it been like this?
"Anna, you should go before you catch a cold," I say. A thin nightgown isn't enough to protect her from the cold, and I don't want her to get sick. She's suffered so much because of me, died because of me, it's too much. I don't deserve her in my life. Dream or not, my papa was right. I deserved my execution.
Anna rubs her hands up and down her arms. "No," she says. I can hear the determination in her voice. "I'm not leaving." She crawls over to me and wraps me in her arms. I don't move my legs, making the final angle of her hug awkward. She doesn't appear to care.
"Anna, you need to go. You need to let me go. I'm too dangerous," I say struggling in her embrace, though I don't want to. I really don't want to. Her hug is so warm… but it's for her own good. I have to push her away. She only holds me tighter.
"I'm not letting you go," she says voice firm. "I finally have you back in my life after thirteen years, and now you're telling me how I should've let you die! All I've ever wanted is you. How can you think that you being dead could be better for me?" I hear the pain in her voice. It makes my heart ache.
"It's better than hurting you! I… I can't ever see you frozen like that, again, never again. I'm a monster, Anna. That's never going to change. As much as I want it too, as much as I wish it too, I will always be the monster who froze her own beloved little sister's heart!" I can see the chill rolling off my body. "Please, you have to leave, now. You'll get sick if you stay here any longer."
"No." Anna's teeth are chattering, but she shows no signs of leaving. If anything she just clings to me tighter, like I'm the warmest thing in the world. "You are not a monster! Do you want me to tell you who you are?" She asks the question, but she doesn't give me time to answer. "You are my kind, wonderful, beautiful big sister. Who I'm so proud of and who happens to have the most amazing gift ever! That's who you are."
Despite the tears stains on her cheeks, Anna looks at me with such warmth, smiling softly. "This is why I won't leave you. Even if you turn this room into a block of ice that Kristoff would be proud of, I'm going to keep holding you until you see yourself like I see you. Elsa, I love you."
Three words and the frost melts. Three simple, beautiful words that are like music to my ears, warms me to my core. I love you. Even after everything I've put her through; she still loves me. The one person who is the world to me still loves me!
"Anna…" My eyes fill with tears. I want that warmth now. I need that warmth. "I'm so sorry," I lower my legs and wrap my arms around her. "I'm so, so sorry," I say as I sob into her shoulder. My words are inadequate, but I mean them with all my heart.
"Shh, it's okay." She strokes the back of my hair.
"It's not okay, though. I should be the one comforting you from your nightmares, not the other way around. I'm the big sister. It should've been my job for all those years. Whenever you had a nightmare, I should've been there to hold you and tell you everything would be okay, but I wasn't. Thirteen years, Anna, I left you alone for thirteen years. It's inexcusable!"
"But what about you?" Anna asks. "Did you have anyone to hold you when you had nightmares, too?"
Her question catches me off-guard. I blink back tears. "I… No, it was too dangerous."
"And I thought I had it rough." Anna laughs, but it sounds forced, pained. I know she doesn't find any of this amusing in the least. "I mean, at least I still had—"
"Mama and Papa." I finish for her.
"Oh Elsa, I didn't mean to…" She covers her mouth with her hand, but the damage is done.
What she said—what she was about to say hurts. However, she doesn't need to know this. She doesn't need to see even more of my pain, she's been hurt enough for one night. Our parents did offer to stay with me on the nights I had nightmares, but I always refused them because it was too dangerous. But they always offered. Then one night they stopped, no more offer.
I drove them away just like I drove Anna away. All those times Anna came to my door. She never gave up on me, though. She kept trying, begging me to come out and play, or to be let in for a minute just to make sure I was alive. Every time I told her to go away… She always came back.
Conceal don't… But I do feel. "It's okay, Anna." I hear the quiver in my voice. The tears follow.
"No it's not, none of this is. They never should've kept us apart!" I hear the anger in Anna's voice. It's an anger that's been bottled up for thirteen years. Now the cap has popped. I know this because it's an anger that dwells inside me, too. But hearing the sound coming from Anna just makes me cry harder.
"I needed you, you needed me." She continues. "We should've grown up together; we should've been able to play together, braid each other's hair, and build snowmen together. Why couldn't we just talk, at least, even through the door? Why didn't they give us a chance? I really needed my big sister." Anna's face contorts from the pain. It's horrible, terrible. Her lip quivers, her nose drips, and her eyes are red and puffy. I never want to see her look this way again. Now, it's her turn to use my shoulder.
I stroke her hair as she cries, trying not to think of the snot dripping down my shoulder. It's disgusting, but she needs this. She needs me. So if she has to use my shoulder as her personal tissue, so be it. I don't mind. She presses her face further into my shoulder, muffling her sobs.
"It wasn't just their fault, Anna. I chose to ignore your calls." My words are difficult to say, but I can't let our parents take all the blame.
"You were eight, Elsa! You never should've been expected to stay away forever. They should've found another way. There had to be another way. We found a way! Love will thaw, remember?" Anna rebuts my words.
I want to say something else, something to make sense of our parent's actions. However, words fail me. She's right. We did find a way. Love. A simple answer, did they even try it? No. I can't think that. Then that would mean all those years spent away from Anna were wasted! No, stop thinking. Stop. Please. I feel the chill radiating from my body as I pull away from Anna, wringing my hands.
Anna gently holds my hands, rubbing the tops of them with her thumbs. Everything Anna does is filled with her warmth and love, and I'm just… cold. I try to pull my hands away from her, but she doesn't let go. The frost melts away once more.
"We've missed so much of each other's lives," Anna says. "I want to hate them, Elsa." There's shame in her voice as she lowers her head. However, she has nothing to feel ashamed of. I want to take that shame away. I could bury it for her. I'm good at burying things. Maybe that's my problem.
"But I can't. I also can't forgive them either. We'll never get our missing time back," Anna says gaze returning to me. "But we can try to make up for the time, starting now!" Her lips curl into the smallest of smiles. Even after everything that's been said tonight, she's still able to smile. She never ceases to amaze me.
I wipe the tears from my face and smile at her, genuinely smile. "You're amazing, Anna."
Anna tucks a strand of her strawberry-blonde hair behind her right ear. "You're amazinger!"
I place my left hand over my lips, trying to stifle the noise trying to escape. It doesn't work. I giggle. "That's not a real word."
Anna crosses her arms, sticking her lower lip out in a pout, but I can see a smile sneaking its way onto her face. She laughs. It's such a simple act, but it means the world to me to hear it, to see the smile return to her face.
It makes me think that maybe we can do this. One night won't solve our problems, but it would be a start. I'll fight for it, for us, to keep hearing her laugh and seeing her smile. We have each other again, and that is far too precious for me to give up.
Anna pulls me close to her. "You're warm," she says.
"I am?" Her words surprise me. I haven't been called warm in a long time.
"Mmhmm." Anna sighs contentedly, burying herself into my nightgown. I hold her tight. "Hey, Elsa, would you… would you mind if I stayed with you tonight?" Her voice sounds so innocent. For a moment, I don't see Anna as the young woman she is, but as the little girl she used to be, the little girl who just wants to be in the arms of her big sister.
Tears slide down my cheeks, but these ones feel different. They're not sad or angry. They're… happy? "I'd like that. I'd like that a lot." For as much as the little sister missed her big sister, the big sister missed her little sister even more.
As we lie in my bed, I feel the night's events have taken a toll on my body. I'm exhausted. A yawn escapes my lips. In the comfort of Anna's arms, I struggle to keep my eyes open. Then a thought enters my mind.
"What if I have the dream?" To my ears, I sound like a scared little girl. Perhaps, in some ways, I still am.
Anna gives me a reassuring squeeze. "Just think of me, and I'll teach them all what happens when you mess with my sister." She yawns. "And if that doesn't work, I'll still be right here, and I'll hold you until you fall back asleep."
I don't deserve your love, I think as I close my eyes. But I will spend the rest of my life trying to be worthy of it. "I love you, Anna," I whisper. I don't know if she hears me, but I feel a small squeeze before sleep makes me its captive once more…
My head is forced onto the cold stone. "Anna, please… help me." I hear the sound of a sword being drawn. No, not again. Tears sting my eyes.
"Elsa, I'm right here." I hear the distant voice of Anna. A warm feeling spreads throughout my body. "They can't hurt you anymore. Just think of me." Her voice vanishes.
"Anna, I'm scared. Don't leave me. I don't want to die!" Just think of me. Think of Anna.
"Who were you talking to?" Hans asks, glancing around himself. "It doesn't matter." He raises his sword.
Think of Anna. Think of Anna. Think of Anna. "Anna!" I cry.
"Hey! Leave her alone!" I see Anna appear next to Hans, dressed in the same nightgown from the accident. She kicks him in the shin.
Hans's body ripples then disappears. The stone vanishes from under me, and I fall to my hands. What just happened? A small hand enters my vision. I peer up and see Anna. Her back is to the sun, giving her an angelic appearance. She smiles at me.
"The bad man's gone," she says. Her face scrunches up as she looks over my shoulder. "You all can leave her alone, now."
With a glance back, I see the crowd vanish one-by-one until only our papa is left. His head is lowered, but I can see his fist clenched in anger. I want to run over to him and tell him Anna is okay, that I did tell the truth. However, he fades away without ever looking up at me.
"Papa…" I whisper. "Anna!" I say focusing my attention back on Anna, hugging her tightly. "You came back for me. You saved me!" My eyes tear up.
Anna returns my hug. "Well, duh! You're my favoritest sister ever!" she says it like it's the most obvious thing ever. "I'll always be there for you." For a moment, we're both silent, enjoying each other's embrace, me crying softly. Then she looks at me with a familiar sly grin. "Do you wanna build a snowman?"
I nod, wiping the tears with the back of my hand. "Yes I do."
Anna takes me by the hand and leads me out of the courtyard, into the snow where we can build a snowman, just the two of us, together. She lets go of my hand and skips around the area, humming a song, as she searches for the perfect place to build our snowman.
"I love you, Elsa." I hear the faint voice of a young woman.
I look up into the sky. "I love you too, Anna."
"Who were you talking to? Come on, the snowman isn't going to build himself!" Anna says.
I turn in Anna's direction and see her already rolling what will be the snowman's base. "Coming, Anna!" I say with the biggest smile on my face.
AN: Thanks for reading! If you could leave a comment telling me what you think about the chapter, I'd appreciate it!