Disclaimer: I sadly do not own anything to do with Primeval. *sadface*
A/N: One shot, about Abby's life. Minor spoilers for a few series. Mostly AU. I hope you enjoy! Constructive criticism is very helpful and any other reviews are just great Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes.
"It'll be fine baby." Her mother whispered as she softly kissed the top of her blonde head. She could feel her mothers tears dropping slowly into her hair and she didn't understand. She heard her young brother cry as he was placed into the car behind her and she felt her mother pull away from her. She turned her head to look at the strange woman walking up to her, and then looked back at her mothers frightened features. She moved quickly, back to her mothers side, wrapping her small arms around one of her legs. She didn't want to go. She wanted to stay here, like she normally did. The strange woman talked to her mother in hushed tones and then walked back to the car which held the crying toddler. Her mother unwrapped her arms from her leg and bent down to her small height. She looked her in the eyes and whispered "Go with the lady Abby, you gotta keep Jack safe haven't ya? Be a good girl for mummy. I love you. Everything will be just fine darlin'." She pressed another kiss to the young girls forehead, tucking a stray strand of the long blonde locks behind her ear, and ushered her towards the car. Abby was having none of it though. She pushed her feet down onto the ground hard, trying to pause her movements, but to no avail as her mother picked her up and fastened her seatbelt. She stepped back, smiled and closed the solid door between them, separating her from the young, confused child. Abby looked between her mother and her hysterical brother and then to the lady who sat behind the wheel of the car. She spoke more words to her mother and then the car started, slowly creating a bigger distance between them. Abby screamed, wailed and sobbed her small heart out as the car drove further away from her mother and home. The lady looked behind her, straining her neck as she spoke.
"Abby dear, calm down. The place you're going is going to be great! You'll meet lots of new friends and you can have your own bedroom!" She said, sounding far too happy and pleased about young Abby's situation.
"I want my mummy not a bedroom!" Abby had yelled at her kicking the back of the woman's chair.
"Well, Mummy's not here now." She spoke, her tone harsh and cold. Abby had continued to cry the whole car journey which seemed to take hours. She picked up a crying Jack in his car seat once they had arrived at their destination. She looked about her new environment. The house was big, and looked friendly enough, but to young Abby it seemed to terrify her, the thought of having to merely just walk in the door. As they got ushered and pushed into the house Abby couldn't even seem to cry anymore. She found her bags at the bottom of the staircase and sat herself and Jack down onto her biggest suitcase. She was 7 and in care with her 1 year old brother. Nothing about that could be fine.
_x_x_x_x_
She held a sobbing Jack and rocked him back and forth as he whimpered and cried in her arms. She could feel her own tears start forming in her eyes but blinked them back furiously, holding it together for the 4 year old's sake. One of their care workers had informed them about their mother's death merely 2 hours ago. They weren't even with her when it had happened. Hell, they hadn't seen her in nearly 2 months. The carer's stating it was 'too harmful' for them to be near her. Abby was furious, no eleven year old should have to have their mother ripped out of their life so quickly and in such an awful way. Jack didn't quite understand, neither did Abby really, but Jack only knew he couldn't have the 'mummy cuddles' he always had whenever they got to see her. He was distraught so Abby couldn't be. She had to be strong for the both of them. They had no one but each other now. Their dad had left as soon as their mother had fallen pregnant with Jack and hadn't been heard of or seen since. Abby hardly remembered him and frankly, didn't want to. Now their mother, the last person left in their family was gone too. Abby knew, deep down, that she shouldn't have been so surprised. She had learnt about 'proper families' in school. All of the children stating that they lived with both their Mummy and Daddy and that everyone was happy, whilst Abby's mother had wasted away her life with drugs and alcohol, more so after they were taken into care. She had evidently killed herself, and Abby hated her for it. Hated the fact that she had taken her own life and left them, alone, without anything. Only, she couldn't really hate her, not ever. She was her mother, the one person who truly understood her and now she was gone. She found herself getting more and more drawn away from everyone, more and more secluded. She locked all of her emotions, feelings, thoughts deep in the back of her mind, never expressing how she truly felt. The one emotion that got through was anger. She heard a lot of her carer's saying how she was 'an angry/misunderstood child' and had been sent to 'special classes' a lot of times, which she eventually got thrown out of for not participating properly. She sighed in depression as she heard Jack's cries settle down into small sniffles every now and then. She waited patiently, rocking him slowly, until he fell asleep. She tucked him under the covers and kissed his forehead.
"Everything's gunna be fine." She whispered as she silently closed the door behind her. She wished that it would be because at this time, she didn't think anything could ever be fine again.
_x_x_x_x_
She held her throbbing hand under the rush of cold water and looked at herself in the mirror. Her long blonde hair was tied up in a bobble, but most of it was hanging limply around her face, pulled out during the fight. She had a small scratch on her forehead, from where the girl had scratched her with her nails. She didn't feel pity for the state of herself though, the other girl was far worse. It had only taken one small punch, square in the face, to send the girl sprawling to the floor. Abby actually felt quite pleased with herself. After all, she had only been sticking up for her and her brother. No one teased them for being in care and got away with it. Who did she think she was exactly? She re-did her hair and tried to hide the cut, best as she could with her fringe, before grabbing her bag and strolling home, at half 1 in the afternoon. She knew she was in for a whole lot of trouble when she got back, the carers wouldn't take too fondly to her beating someone up again. She pushed the door open and slammed it shut behind her, trying to run up the stairs without being noticed. She though she was free, but she slammed into the back of her carer and sighed, defeated.
"Abigail! What have we told you about bunking school?" The carer said sourly as she turned around, stopping Abby in her tracks.
"And what have I told you about calling me that?" She replied bitterly, storming past her and up to her room. The carer followed at a quick speed.
"Don't answer back." She shouted as Abby neared her room. Abby rolled her eyes. As she turned round to talk to the carer again, he fringe moved to the side, giving the woman full view of the red scratch. "Oh Abby. Another fight? What are we going to do with you?" She said sadly, holding her chin with her hand, investigating the scratch. She flung her head to the side, freeing herself from her grasp and turned back around.
"She's worse." She muttered, sitting on her bed.
"Abby. You're 15 now. Stop acting like a child." The woman chastised as she pulled up a chair to sit in front of Abby. Abby gave her a sour stare and the woman sighed.
"I know you're scared Abby. Scared of losing Jack, of being moved again. But it's not going to help your case if you keep fighting with people."
"You don't know me at all!" Abby yelled angrily. "I fought because she took the piss out of us being in care. She can't be allowed to do that. She's just a bitch!" She ranted. She was so angry at everyone, she just couldn't admit she was scared about exactly what she had said. She had been threatened more than once that if she didn't get her behaviour on track she and Jack could be separated. She wouldn't be able to deal with that. She knew she had to try. The carer sighed, looked down to the floor for a long moment before looking back into Abby's eyes.
"If you start behaving better in school, start showing people the real you, you'll be fine. I promise. Just keep it together, and everything will be fine." She said calmly, before standing up and walking out of the room, closing the wooden door behind her. Abby flopped herself back down onto the bed. She wished people would stop saying that to her, because nothing was fine.
_x_x_x_x_
"Come on babes, it will be fine." He slurred slightly, taking her hand tightly and leading her to the bedroom. She swallowed hard. She was 17 and he was 19, nearly 20. His mates were either drinking, doing some sort of drugs in the bathroom or snogging someone senseless on the couch. He and the whole flat stunk of alcohol but she didn't let it scare her. Abby Maitland didn't get scared! She found herself being pushed down onto the bed and almost getting smothered by the man's weight. She had been dating him for 3 weeks and was now at his so called party , which wasn't anything like she had expected. This was fast, too fast, but she wouldn't say. She wouldn't ruin things between them. Even if people in her college called her a slut, they were just sly bitches who had nothing better to do with their lives. Sure, she felt pressured, just slightly, but first times weren't meant to be perfect. Were they? She pushed all the thoughts to the back of her mind and focussed on the task at hand. It seemed to take ages, when in reality he only lasted a fair few seconds before passing out, totally wasted. She could only feel pain and shame as she pushed him with all of her strength to get him off of her small body and dressed quickly, before running out of the house. She felt thoroughly ashamed. She had felt like she was being suffocated and she had no 'true love' for him whatsoever. She ran her hand through her short pixie-like hair and sighed miserably. The night air was cool and it prickled her skin as she walked through the lonesome streets. As she returned to the flat she shared with her roommate, she threw herself onto her be and let a lone tear escape. She mentally kicked herself. She was meant to be strong, but she felt like she was heading down the same destructive path her own mother had lead, and look where that had got her. She wiped at her face angrily. She was going to change her life, for the better she hoped. She stepped out of the too-short dress and the too-tall heels. She didn't want to be the girl who had too many boyfriend to count, too many pointless romances, too many people who couldn't really be trusted, she didn't need it, no one did. She sent a text to her 'boyfriend' saying they needed to talk. She sighed and dropped the phone onto the bed lazily. She wiped all of her heavy make-up off her small face and looked at herself in the mirror.
"Everything. I mean it. Everything is going to be fine." She said boldly. She just hoped she was finally going to be right.
_x_x_x_x_
She shut the door quickly and ran back up before the man. Connor Temple had just moved in. She didn't know how to react. He was sweet, sure he was, and funny, but he was a geek. She couldn't really deny it. He was suited to the job down to a tee, all of the experiments, dinosaurs, technology almost too much for his over-excited personality. He was like a small puppy. And he was in her flat! They flat that she called her own. Her first big step towards her independence, and everything was slowly becoming more and more complicated. The new job within the ARC was definitely ten times better than working at the zoo, but it was so much more complicated. Connor placed his bags down and explored the room, and Abby ran back upstairs to her own room. He soon started to realise the temperature was kept relatively high for little old Rex, the dinosaur she happened to find at their first anomaly sighting. A few minutes later and her door knocked again, but this time she found Stephen looking back at her. And she was wearing her knickers and a vest. She mentally cursed herself. This was not a good impression at all. She invited him in anyhow, racing back upstairs to cover up Rex and cover herself up a bit more. As they talked, Connor swung down from the stairs, dressed in only his underwear as well. She felt like hitting her head against the wall repeatedly. This just couldn't be happening! Stephen smirked, glancing between the both of them and their states of undress and told them about Helen before making a speedy exit. As they both got changed Abby felt exhilarated and very nervous. She fancied Stephen, he was plain gorgeous, all tall and dark haired and all aspects of him appealed to Abby straight away. She just couldn't help but feel annoyed ever so slightly by Connor's appearance at her flat. She made her way downstairs and Connor saw her mixed emotions, even through her tough façade.
"What's up Abs?" He asked calmly
"Hmm?" She asked, chewing on a fingernail whilst looking back and forth from him and the door.
"Don't be worried 'bout today Abs. You got me ain't ya?" he said with a wink and smiling goofily, "Everything'll be fine!" He said, linking arms with her and gaining a small smile. He didn't even know the half of it she mused as they left the apartment…
_x_x_x_x_
He'd said it, he'd said the words… the three words that change everyone's life and then denied it! He sighed, totally exhausted from the days hardships and ran herself a steaming hot bath. How dare he! How bloody dare he. Abby didn't know what she was more annoyed with. The fact he had said it in the first place, or the fact he'd denied it, then left her, standing in the middle of their apartment, to go on a date with Caroline! He felt like screaming. She sunk into the bath and felt the hot water sooth her aching muscles. Shame it couldn't sooth her banging headache that seemed to rattle her brain every time she moved her head. She spent nearly an hour in the bath and then dried her damp hair, grabbed some pills for her headache and slumped onto her bed. After several minutes of just laying there, she shimmied into her pyjamas and climbed under her duvet. She kept re playing today's events over and over in her head, and felt a tear roll down her cheek. She couldn't help herself, she burst into tears. She didn't even try to stop them as they rolled onto the pillow beneath her head. He'd said the words, she knew she had heard right. Just as she was about to fall over the edge and he stopped her, pulled her back. She'd been warring with her feeling for Connor for months, she knew she felt… something for him. And now she was so confused. And tired. Every time she was close to sleep though, memories came flooding back, flashing in front of her eyes and forcing her to sit upright with a whimper. She felt weak again and vulnerable and she hated herself for it. She knew it wasn't her fault, she just couldn't help it. Her emotions were bubbling up inside of her and she just wanted to put it all behind her and carry on as usual. He was the first man to every say 'I Love You' and probably be anywhere near meaning it properly. She knew it was okay to be nervous about things like this, but she didn't understand why she was so scared. Connor wasn't scary, she knew that. She sighed again, rolling over and closing her eyes tight. The words she had kept repeating all day came to sing song their way around her mind as she drifted off to sleep. "Everything will be fine." She had a feeling it wasn't though.
_x_x_x_x_
Connor dragged the bundle of fish back to their cave. Abby strolled behind him, not really paying attention and she sighed. She felt lethargic, miserable and had the feeling that if one more little thing happened to her today, she may just burst into unstoppable tears. Connor was tense and angry and had been all day long. The atmosphere between the two of them was awkward and Abby just wanted to grab him and kiss him until he would tell her what was wrong! They had been a couple for a few months now, Abby had lost count long ago. They had no way of keeping track, apart from Connor's moon theory that just thoroughly confused Abby. She sat down by the side of their flickering fire and stared into the flames. The heat made her skin feel hot but her body still felt cold altogether. It must have been nearing winter, the days seemed to be very short, it always seemed to go dark a lot earlier, but maybe she was just looking at it weirdly. She had just given up all hope of anything now, she was stuck totally in survival mode and couldn't force herself to come out of the haze. Connor sat down next to her with a huff and they both sat in silence for an awkward few minutes. Then Abby broke. She cried, and couldn't stop. She had just been pushed over the edge by the most stupid, small things ever and she couldn't stop herself from crying, even when Connor pulled her into his loving embrace, stroking her long hair and kissing her forehead.
"Abs, please don't cry." He pleaded, twirling her hair around his finger slowly, waiting for her to calm down.
"What if this is it?" She asked, her voice hoarse and strained. "What if we don't get home? What if one of us dies?" She yelled through her tears.
"Don't think about stuff like that Abs… It's not gunna happen. Everything will be fine. Just fine." he whispered into her ear, kissing her temple softly.
"DON'T SAY THAT" She yelled, moving away from him slightly. "Don't say it will be fine. I've been told that all my life, and nothing has ever been fine." She cried in desperation. Connor pulled her back into a hug.
"We have to believe it will be fine though Abs. It's the only thing that's gunna get us through this hell." He said his voice low and calming to Abby. She rested her head against his chest and yawned slowly. He was right. She had to think at least one positive thought or she was never going to survive here. At least she had Connor…and that gave her a glimmer of hope which she grasped onto with both hands. They had to survive, just had to…
_x_x_x_x_
"When this is finished, you'll be proud of me."
"I was already proud of you." She said, tears brimming in her eyes. She looked at him once more before making her speedy exit, making sure he didn't see her cry. She couldn't let him know she still felt so vulnerable and weak sometimes. She had to get her strong façade back. She wouldn't be Abby if she didn't. She felt terrible…. Connor was getting dragged into work that wasn't right. He should have been carrying on with Cutter's work… But he was following after Burton like a little lost puppy and she didn't know what else to do. She felt so low, almost begging him to put her first but she was fresh out of ideas. A relationship shouldn't be this hard to hold onto. She loved him, with all of her heart and she knew he loved her… But Philip Burton was the perfect father figure after Cutter and Danny had gone. He was feeding him with new, exciting ideas and Connor was in awe of the man. Cutter was never able to do that, supply him with new things every time he saw him, but Cutter was genuine. A great person to be around and a great loss to everyone when he had died. Abby sighed, rubbing her eyes, getting into her car and driving to the apartment they shared with Jess. She guessed he wouldn't be home until late again, and Abby was giving up on thinking that they would ever get to talk, about finding their own place, about anything for that matter. She stared through the window of their bedroom, sitting in her pyjamas and settling herself into the window seat. She needed to feel like herself again and was finding it very difficult. She had to start pulling herself together again, she wanted everyone to know her as the strong woman she was, not the emotional girl she felt like. It was staring through the window and seeing the small reflection of a picture of her and Connor from before they had been stuck in the Cretaceous. She felt a lone tear slide down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away. She realised at that moment, that nothing was every 'fine' for her, and nothing probably ever would be. She just had to deal with it. And deal with it she would, just like she had all of her life.
_x_x_x_x_
"Connor! It hurts!" She shouted, gripping his hand in a death grip, causing him to whimper with pain as well as herself. She wanted to laugh at him being a wimp, but right now she wanted to also bite his head off for getting her into this situation.
"I know it does love, but it's going to aright. Just keep going you're doing great!" he reassured her through his small pain and smiled down at her, kissing her sweaty forehead. She smiled back, but then gritted her teeth together tightly as another wave of nauseating pain swept through her body, excruciatingly slowly. She let out a loud moan as the pain started to subdue and she let her grip on his hand loosen.
"That's it babe, keep going! Nearly there! I promise!" He said, sounding more and more excited. She pushed down hard, just as she was told to, when another wave of pain hit and she screamed out loud. She heard Connor give a laugh of pure joy and then another sound… crying. She gave out a breathy laugh as she let her head fall to the propped up pillow behind her. She closed her eyes briefly, hearing the sounds of Connor's excited chattering and the midwifes hushed tones. When she opened her eyes again she saw Connor walk over to her, the biggest grin on his face ever, tears evident in her eyes and a pink bundle in his arms.
"She's gorgeous Abs, absolutely perfect. Just like her mother." He said softly placing a kiss on her forehead as he passed the newborn to Abby's eager arms. She looked down at the baby, full adoration and love in her eyes as she saw her and Connor's daughter for the first time. She had a tuft of dark hair covering her tiny head, and her little fists flailed about helplessly. Abby smiled lovingly as she looked up to Connor who was still smiling like an idiot. When the baby opened her eyes Abby saw the sparkling blue and Connor nearly jumped for joy right there in the recovery room. He had been saying for months how he had wanted the baby to have Abby's eyes so he could say it was a mini her. Abby had laughed and said she wouldn't care as long as they had his dark hair, and now she was here, a perfect mixture of both of them. She reluctantly handed their baby back over to Connor as she felt the pull of sleep drag her into unconsciousness.
She awoke 4 hours later to see the most adorable sight ever. A midwife was also taking a photo of the sight in front of her. Connor was sat next to their babies incubator, the baby flailing about inside, wide awake, content to just lie there, her small hand wrapped around Connor's finger whilst he slept on, his head resting against the side of the plastic. He looked so damn cute. Abby slowly got herself into a sitting position, smiling as the midwife nodded, and left them to it. She stood up, ignoring the burning sensation and wrapping a robe around her. She slowly and carefully moved Connors head to a more comfier pillow and picked up the baby from the incubator. The baby girl whimpered slightly and then snuggled into her mothers embrace. Abby smiled and sat back down, rocking the girl slowly.
"I'm so happy to have you here. So is your Daddy, and he will be an amazing Daddy. He'll spoil you rotten, and love you so much, just like he loves me. I promise you, I'll do whatever you need, I'm going to love you so much too. You're our little baby, and you complete us." She whispered quietly to the small bundle in her arms. She watched as Connor stirred but didn't wake and she sighed happily.
"You're going to have a great life darling. I promise. I love you, Nicola Eve Temple." She whispered again, pressing a feather light kiss onto the baby's forehead. For the first time in a long time, her life finally agreed with the saying "Everything will be fine." and Abby couldn't be any happier.
End.
A/N: Okay, okay, I know the name Nicola is very cliché, but I just couldn't help it ;D Please review!