This is a one-shot that I just couldn't get out of my head after seeing the Ariliza scene they cut. I wish they hadn't because it explains so much about Eliza and why she behaves the way she does.
Anyway, enjoy and please review if you like it.
When you break the rules, you have to live with the consequences
"Did you know I'm a twin?" Eliza said, interrupting Arizona.
"What are you talking about?" Arizona asked, already annoyed. Why couldn't this woman just leave? Leave her house and leave her mind. She was absolutely everywhere even if she wasn't. It was annoying and avoiding was becoming exhausting.
"Carina was the responsible one. She always did her homework, our homework; did all the chores, never did a single thing wrong. Until this party, at the end of my third year of med school." Eliza continued. Arizona wasn't sure of where was it that the brunette was trying to get but she didn't interrupt her. The sooner she said whatever it was that she wanted to say the sooner Arizona would be left alone again.
It wasn't that she didn't like her…quite the opposite, she liked her too much. She liked her so much she was really close to tell all of her friends to just fuck off and give in completely into her. And that she couldn't do. She couldn't just throw away years of friendship for a pretty face. And fuzzy feelings. And intrigue. Yeah, she really, really liked her even if she was bossy, overconfident and downright annoying.
"I was too drunk to drive and she was tipsy too but I needed to get home, I had to be up early, I had a test the next day and I appealed to her sense of responsibility. And I convinced her to break the rules." She said as her eyes became teary. Arizona couldn't do anything but just stare at her, she had a feeling that this story was not going to have a happy ending.
"I walked away with just a head lac but Carina had an epidural hematoma." Eliza said as her lips trembled and her voice quivered "that they didn't catch until after it killed her." Arizona swallowed a deep breath and just starred her. She knew from personal experience how it felt to lose sibling. A young sibling, nonetheless. She had been an absolute bitch to Eliza, with all the mixed signals and the judging.
"The last thing she said to be was: 'It's not your fault Lize, I just shouldn't have listened to you." The brunette said, letting a few tears lose while the blonde looked at her stunned. This explained so much about Eliza, so much. "When you break the rules, you have to live with the consequences." She said, wiping a few tears away.
"Eliza…" Arizona began but got interrupted.
"So yes, maybe I am obsessed with rules and protocols but it's because I know from personal experience that breaking them leads to horrible consequences that you have to live the rest of your life with." Eliza continued, trying really hard to keep her emotions at bay. "Have a good night." She said turning around to leave but Arizona was faster than her and grabbed her by the wrist.
"Eliza, wait. Please don't leave." Arizona said, almost in a whisper.
"Arizona, let go off of me."
"No." the blonde said. "Stay. Please."
"I don't know what is it that you want from me." The brunette said as she turned around and her eyes found equally teary blue eyes.
"I want you to come in so that we can talk." The blonde said, pleading.
"Are you sure? Because a few minutes ago you—"
"I know. I know." Arizona interrupted. "But yes, I am sure." She said, gesturing for Eliza to come inside.
Eliza just nodded and walked inside. She was nervous, something about Arizona made her so extremely nervous all of the time. It wasn't only because of how ridiculously attracted she was to her or because of her beauty, no. It was also because she never really new which Arizona she was going to meet that day. The mixed signals, the hot and cold behavior…it was getting too much. She liked this woman, a lot, but she was not going to let anyone play with her emotions and having her constantly guess what is it that they want.
"Would you sit here for a little while I go change?"
"Why do you need to change?"
"Because you look amazing and I basically look like a hobo." Arizona said laughing softly but getting back to her previous serious expression when she saw how stoically the brunette was looking at her. She wished she would give her anything but she didn't. Was she pissed? Sad? "It will just be a minute I just…I need to change."
"It's okay. I'll wait."
"Thank you." The blonde said as she gave her a small smile and climbed up the stairs.
Eliza was going to sit in the couch but got distracted by some pictures on top of the fireplace. One was of Arizona with both of her parents on what seemed to be the 4th of July, judging but the waving American flag on the back. Two were of Arizona's daughter, one with her as a tiny little baby and the other one seemed to be pretty recent. The little girl was wearing what seemed to be a school uniform, plaid skirt and all, while holding a pink and purple Vera Bradley lunchbox. Her hair was in two neat boxer braids and she was smiling widely. She was absolutely adorable.
She also found a picture of Arizona and Richard Webber. She smiled sadly at that one. How did everyone at that hospital ended up hating her? She wasn't a bad person, she was fun, she was nice…she just wanted things to be done the right way damn it! Why is that such a bad thing? Because people are used to doing whatever the hell they want at Grey Sloan, that's why. Not even a name change could save them from losing their once great reputation. Yeah, she had heard all about the interns removing appendixes from each other, the intern cutting a LVAD wire to save her patient-boyfriend and the chief sticking for said intern instead of the already established Dr. Erica Hahn.
She had heard it all. And now? Now she was experiencing it. Erica Hahn herself, who she had worked with at the previous hospital in Chicago, warned her. "That's not a place for someone like us, Dr. Minnick." She had said. Her words resounding in her head. "We believe that rules and structure are necessary in order to thrive as doctors. And that's why we are as successful and rewarded as we are. That place? Everyone does whatever the hell they want. It's at its downfall. Have you heard of any amazing surgeon rising from there in the past years? Exactly. Reject the offer, go to Baltimore."
But well…Dr. Hahn also had had personal reasons to dislike Grey Sloan. She had once mentioned something about a girlfriend choosing her friends, even if they were wrong, over her and not even trying to find common ground. Much like what Arizona had tried to do to her. She shouldn't have talked about Carina, now she was sorry for her and invited her in out of pity. Awesome.
She kept looking at the pictures and found one that particularly called her attention. It was a tall blonde guy in full army uniform. She leaned down to watch it closer. The guy looked like a male version of Arizona so, of course, he was very handsome. He was probably her brother but then why wasn't he on the family photo with the flag? Perhaps he was overseas. Or just couldn't make it that time, after all they're adults. Her younger brother, Austin, and her try to be there at the same time sometimes but mostly fail. It's hard when you have a busy life and little time to organize and coordinate. If Carina was still alive she would make sure they did though. At least once a year.
"That's my brother." Eliza heard from behind her. The voice had startled her a little.
"Sorry. I didn't mean to be nosy." Eliza said turning around to look at Arizona. The blond had let her hair down and had changed into some dark wash jeans and a deep purple sweater that left her clavicle exposed. She was wearing a little bit of very light make up and looked downright incredible. Damn Arizona Robbins and her good looks.
"It's okay." She said walking over to the beautiful brunette. She was also having a hard time controlling her emotions. Eliza looked ridiculously beautiful that night. She always looked great but the slight curl, the cleavage, the make-up…it was all becoming a little too much for her to handle.
"He looks like you." The brunette said. "He looks very young. Are the two of you close?"
"Uh…we…used to be very close." Arizona said with a sad smile. "But he…" she said swallowing a lump in her throat. "He died 13 years ago serving in Iraq."
"I…I'm sorry." Eliza said. Arizona had a dead sibling too? Wow. So, she did understand her. She did understand where she was coming from.
"I'm sorry about your sister too." Arizona said looking directly into the beautiful green eyes she had come to like so much.
For a while they didn't know what to say and the silence became a little uncomfortable. So many things were going through both of their minds. They had so many questions but didn't know where to start.
"Do you want to drink something? I have red and white wine, whisky, beer…water?" Arizona asked, trying to make the dense atmosphere a little lighter.
"Uh…whatever you're having."
"Whisky, then. I need something strong." the blonde said as she walked over to her kitchen and put some ice cubes in two glasses before grabbing a Buchanan's bottle and taking them to the coffee table as they sat down on the couch. She poured each a hearty amount of amber liquid before finally looking at her companion.
"So…"
"So, we both have dead siblings. Definitely not fun thing to bond about." Arizona said sipping on her drink.
"Yes, definitely not." Eliza answered also sipping on her drink. "Look, I don't want you to feel pity for me. I told you about Carina only because I wanted you to understand where I was coming from. I know that you're used to everyone around you breaking rules and protocols all the time and basically doing whatever the hell they want but that's just not how I work."
"Okay."
"And how on earth is this an effective way of working or teaching? Arizona, over the years your interns and attendings have done things that most people are thrown into jail for!" Eliza said, slightly raising her voice.
"I know."
"I had never ever in my many years of experience encountered a staff so reluctant to let go off their old shitty practices. Also, I have never experienced such a hostile environment. I'm not a bad person, I'm not an asshole."
"I know you're not." Arizona said but Eliza ignored her. She was too engrossed in her speech.
"I'm just a person who likes to abide by the rules. Why? Because the one time I didn't do it, it costed me the life of the person I loved the most in the entire world."
"That wasn't your fault, Eliza. It was an accident."
"Yeah, but it sort of was my fault, you know? I was the one who convinced her to drive drunk. I was the one who convince her to break the law." Eliza said, tearing up slightly.
"Eliza…" Arizona said, reaching for the brunette's arm.
"Don't. Please don't." she said before wiping the few tears that escaped her eyes. "I have come into terms with it. Not with her dead, I will never come into terms with that but with the guilt. Still, I have to live with the consequences of breaking the rules…the consequence being the fact that my twin sister is dead."
"It doesn't always have to end in tragedy…"
"Are you seriously saying that?" Eliza asked, not believing what she had just heard. "I get that these people are your friends, maybe even your 'chosen family' or whatever but are you seriously telling me that cutting LVAD wires, messing with medical trials, altering tests results, interns cutting each other up and many, many other things are justifiable?"
"How do you know all of that?"
"People talk, Arizona. Whoever really runs that hospital may have been able to bribe the press into not saying a single thing about all the crap that's been happening there over the years but people talk. Former employees, former students."
"I don't know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything. I just…I'm willing to help Grey Sloan get back to where it was back when it was Seattle Grace Hospital. Back to the glory days when it could give Mayo or Hopkins a run for their money. It's all about structure and discipline. I'm not talking about being cold or a robot like your friend Meredith so nicely said, I'm just talking about a correct structure and organizations. Interns respecting their attendings orders. Attendings not believing they're gods with scalpels. Doctors not being overly emotional and irrational."
"I know we have a different way of working and that may be shocking to you but it works for us. We've been through so much as bunch that we can't help but protect each other."
"From me? Am I that big of a menace to your little dystopian system?"
"Well…yes. Like you said before, people don't like change." Arizona said, finishing her glass and poring herself a little more whiskey, grabbing Eliza's almost empty glass and filling it too. "Nice use of the word dystopian, by the way."
"Thank you."
"But it's not really dystopian. We're not that bad."
"I'm having a hard time believing that since everyone has decided to be obstructive and downright cruel to me." Eliza said sighing, her eyes getting teary again.
"I'm so sorry, Eliza. I really am." The blonde said, lifting the brunette's chin with her finger. "What happened to your sister explains so much about you. I get that because of what happened you feel the constant need to stick by the rules but perhaps you could learn to bend a little bit when the situation requires it? Reach a common ground."
"I know when to let go of rules, Arizona. Trust me, I do." The brunette said, titling her head to the side. "This just wasn't the time. Dr. Grey was once again acting with her emotional side instead of her rational side or even a middle point between the two."
"I don't agree with you, not this time. I really don't."
"And that's fine! We don't have to agree all the time, who does? But I was willing to leave this at work because it has nothing to do with how I feel about you personally."
"I just got so mad at you! You have this way of speaking that sometimes can sound super patronizing."
"I would never patronize you, Arizona. You're a brilliant doctor. I respect the hell out of you, both personally and professionally. I can't talk about Grey or Webber on a personal level but I respect them professionally too. I would never patronize them either."
"Maybe not but you do make it sound like that sometimes. Just…try to work on it? Nobody likes to be spoken to as if they were an idiot, especially not egocentric people like all of us doctors." The blonde said with a soft laugh that earned a chuckle from the brunette.
"Okay. I'll work on it." She said smiling. "Perhaps you could help me? Letting me know when I'm using my patronizing tone whenever you're around…" the brunette said with a soft smile.
"God, you're making it really hard for me to dislike you…" Arizona said closing her eyes while sipping on the last of her second drink.
"Why are you even trying?" Eliza asked, getting closer to her.
"What am I even trying what?"
"Disliking me. Why are you trying?"
"Because…my friends…I…" Arizona started but her mind was getting hazy and cloudy. Eliza was too close to her and she wasn't being able to think straight. Those, eyes, those lips, that face.
"Am I really ruining all of your relationships?" Eliza asked sadly.
"What? No, of course not. I shouldn't have said that. I was just angry."
"Than what happens?"
"Some of my friends have already noticed that I like you and…they're giving me a little bit of a hard time. Richard with the silent treatment even though he said he'll come around eventually, Meredith with the glares, Jackson…"
"You know? Real friends don't judge you for who you chose to date. Especially when said person hasn't done anything wrong, not really."
"I know."
"The way I see it is that if they're your real friends and you really want to date me then they'll come around." Eliza said, finishing her drink. "Who knows? Maybe it could lead to nothing or maybe it could lead to something really great. You won't know unless you give me the chance. That is if you want to, of course."
"I…want to."
"What? What do you want, Arizona?"
"I want to get to know you better. I want to give you, us the chance to see where this leads to. I want you, Eliza." She said, finally leaning over to kiss those beautiful lips she had longed for the whole entire night.
Eliza responded to the kiss by deepening it and pulling her closer to her by the waist until she was being straddled by the blonde. Arizona decided that she needed more, so she ran her tongue along Eliza's lips. The brunette instantly granted her access and their tongues got lost in a sensual dance until they had to part for oxygen. "Let's do this, then. No more bullshit." The younger doctor said.
"No more bullshit." Arizona answered smiling and placing another kiss on Eliza's lips.