Just another random drabble. I don't own Bleach. Tite Kubo-sama does.

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The Battle For The Soul Slayer

In his/her gigai, Ichigo kissed his Soul Slayer. He had been busy with the Soul Slayer for hours and now wanted nothing more than a spiritual cuddle or a weird massage from his lover Rukia.

He said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden his ancient Rukia appeared at the door, grinning merrily.

"Put down the Soul Slayer," Rukia said stupidly. "Unless you want me to kiss that Soul Slayer on your hair."

Ichigo put down the Soul Slayer. He was asian. He had never seen Rukia so pointless before and it made him screwed.

Rukia picked up the Soul Slayer, then withdrew a Shinigami from her leg. "Don't be so asian," Rukia said with a pointless grimace. "A Chappy bit my arm this morning, and everything became idiotic. Now with this Soul Slayer and this Shinigami I can stupidly rule the world!"

Ichigo clutched his signifigant arm quietly. This was his lover, his ancient Rukia, now staring at him with a pointless leg.

"Fight it!" Ichigo shouted. "The Chappy just wants the Soul Slayer for his own ancient devices! He doesn't love you, not the spiritual way I do!"

Ichigo could see Rukia trembling quietly. Ichigo reached out his hair and touched Rukia's leg stupidly. He was ancient, so ancient, but he knew only his signifigant love for Rukia would break the Chappy's spell.

Sure enough, Rukia dropped the Soul Slayer with a thunk. "Oh, Ichigo," she squealed. "I'm so spiritual, can you ever forgive me?"

But Ichigo had already moved in his/her gigai. Like the shock Bleach fans felt when they heard Byakuya's singing, he pressed his hair into Rukia's leg. And as they fell together in an idiotic fit of love, the Soul Slayer lay on the floor, screwed and forgotten.

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A/N: I got this from this Drabble-Matic. It's like Mad-Libs. Most credit goes to them. Just ask me for the link. It's totally genius. And fun.