Headlights

By Carlyn O'Reilly

I came in on my parents fighting again. I knew and have known for 3 months that they were getting a divorce. But I hated when they fought over who was getting custody of me. They told me they would stop but never did. As soon as I walked in my kitchen Pam's face fell and they fell silent.

"Claire, I'm so sorry." She said

"No!" I shouted, "You aren't, you never have been." I hated both of them, Pam and John. When I as little they used to tell me that they would always love each other, they lied. They were no longer my parents. They are Pam and John.

"Claire you know that's not true." She was able to stammer out as John stood in the corner twiddling his thumbs. I couldn't take it. I ran to the hallway grabbed my keys and left without glancing back. I got in my car and raced out of town, heading towards the only place that I liked. I pulled out my phone and dialed Conner.

"Claire is that you?" he asked picking up.

"Yes it's me, Conner I'm leaving. I need to get out of town for a few days." I said, tears starting to come to my eyes.

"Claire no, what will I do? What if you don't come back? My life is nothing with you Claire." He said franticly.

"I'll come back, I promise."

"I'm already on my way to get you, I know where you are. You're at the lake." His car pulled into the empty Parking lot, next to my car. He got out, and went for the door. I hit the auto lock button before he even knew what had happened. "Claire!" he was mad, "Open the door and stop acting like you're 3." I went for the auto lock button again, I needed him, and I needed a shoulder to cry on. "Thanks," he said pulling me onto his lap. "Why don't we go back to your house and talk things over with your parents?" After much deliberation in my head I answered.

"Fine, but you have to go with me." I started the car and began to pull out of the parking lot when Conner stopped me.

"What about my car?"

"After, I need to drive with someone… to keep me alert." He nodded; I knew he understood when we finally reached the house there were cars lined up on the street. My "family". I turned to Conner, "C-C-Can I use y-your phone? I t-threw mine I-in the l-lake." I glanced over at Conner as he handed me his phone, he was trying to suppress a laugh. I slowly dialed my home number.

"Hello?" Pam had answered.

"Tell everyone to leave, if you want me to come home then tell everyone to leave." I said as flatly as I could.

"But Claire they want to see you to make sure you're all right…" She replied trailing off.

"I'm fine. I can't face them all." I said. I was mad. She didn't understand me and never had.

"I'm not going to make them leave, only if they want to go they can." She said standing up for herself.

"Fine, then I will come home to get clothes and leave." I said firmly

"But-"

"NO! You've already made your choice. Goodbye." I shouted interrupting her. I closed the phone handed it to Conner, turning to him I said, "Give me ten minutes then I'll take you up to the lake to get your car." I opened the door, slamming it shut. Slowly and quietly I climbed the creaky stairs that lead to my house. I slowly opened the door, shutting it with just enough force that they would hear me.

"Claire is that you?" They heard me; Pam had called out to me.

"Yes, I'm going to my room getting clothes and leaving." I replied. That was true I was leaving, I just wasn't ever going to tell them where I was going, because I know they would come for me. Try to get me to see a therapist, which I was never going to do. I went through the kitchen to avoid their faces. Once up in my room I grabbed my duffle, and a suitcase throwing clothes into them, most of my summer clothes fit. I went to the bathroom throwing shampoos, conditioners and other things into the bag. Five minutes later I was ready to go. I threw the strap to my duffel bag over my shoulder and pulled up the handle to my suitcase. For the first time I noticed that the tears were rolling down my face. I started going down the stairs my suitcase banging on every step, Madison appeared at the bottom.

"You know you really don't have to go." She said quietly.

"Yes I do, I just need a few days by myself to think things over. I promise I'll come back." I had too. I leaned over to give her a hug.

"Swear on Pam's grave?" She asked. She was the only other person who called my "parents" by their real names.

"Yes." Not that I would really care if they did die, it would make me happy. "I'll see you on your birthday." She let me pass and I went out the door without another word. I called to Conner and asked him to open the trunk. Once it was open I threw in my bags and walked to the driver's side of the car. "Time to take you to go get you car." I put the car in drive and pulled away from the curb. The ride was silent until we reached the freeway. Conner started the conversation.

"Claire you don't have to leave, you can stay at my house."

"No, I need to get away from everything and everyone."

"But, Claire!" He really didn't want me to go I could tell, he was going to miss me. Other than Madison they were the only people who cared about what happened to me.

"Conner I know I'm sorry." All this time I had been looking at him and not the road. When I looked up I saw it. The headlights that were coming for my car. As soon as I saw them I was screaming. I heard the crunching of metal and then the black veil of darkness over took me.

*********************

Slowly the veil of darkness began to lift, but not completely. I opened my eyes to an unfamiliar room. Madison was at the side of my bed reading a magazine. "Claire!" She half shouted when she saw that I was up.

"What happened?" I asked as my head began to throb.

"You ran a red light and got hit by a truck." She replied quietly. I could tell she was holding something back. "You're in the ICU."

"Where's Conner? I need to talk to him." I said worrying.

"I'm s-so sorry." She replied quietly beginning to sob. "H-he died b-before th-the a-ambulance got th-there." That's all she could manage to get out before she began to cry

"Oh my god, it's my fault, I ran that red light." The tears were streaming down my face when I looked up to see Conner's mom standing there. "Oh my god, I am so sorry!" I told her and I really was I couldn't believe that I had gotten Conner killed.

"Claire, it's alright. I was wondering….do you remember anything from…..the crash." She said so quietly and nervously that I could barely hear her, "You know for closure."

"No…….headlights that's all I remember." I said after a long pause. I wanted to say more but the black veil that had covered my body for so long once again covered it, never again to be removed.