Chandler sat at his office desk. He was holding his pen to the paper but it didn't want to write. He couldn't get her out of his head. Why? Why them? They happily married. Why cancer? Why did she have to get cancer? A loved one dying is bad but knowing they suffered before death was worse. Chandler was attempting to write her eulogy, Monica's eulogy. But he couldn't. There were many things he could say about her. Her smile. Her laugh. The way her eyes lit up when she laughed at his jokes.
His jokes.
Now Chandler thought about it, he hasn't told a single joke to anyone since her death. He hadn't even smiled. He looked down at the paper. 'Cause of death'. Chandler didn't want to put cancer, so he opted for 'long illness'. A bittersweet memory came to his head.
"And if I die... From a long illness, and you're writing out my eulogy..."
Monica's voice was so clear in his head. He couldn't remember what she said after that. It was almost like it was yesterday. Why couldn't he remember everything she said? Chandler wanted to remember every word she ever said to him, because every single word was important. She was important.
"No, I mean, come on, seriously think about it, we get married, we're up at the altar and I'm like this." Chandler said, making a very bored face.
Monica laughed. "I won't care, because I know you will be feeling it all in here." She said, pointing to her heart.
Chandler opened his eyes as the memory finished. Why couldn't he remember what she said about her eulogy? He put his head in his hands and thought. He had to remember. He looked across his desk. Stapler, picture of Monica, pencils, sticky notes.
Sticky notes... Something clicked! He could remember what she said now.
"And if I die, from a long illness. And you're writing out my eulogy..." Chandler looked down at the piece of paper i his hands. "And you open a desk drawer and you find a note from me that says, "I will always be with you," and you still can't shed one tiny tear, I know you'll be crying a river inside..."
Chandler was shaking. Why hadn't he remembered their conversation, a conversation that was important. Why had he forgot it?
"And you open a desk drawer and you find a note from me that says, "I will always be with you..." Her voice repeated inside his head. With a shaking hand he reached out and opened the desk drawer. A tiny piece of paper sat in his drawer. He picked it up and read the sentence written in Monica's writing. He knew it was her writing. He put the paper closer to his face, reading the message.
'I will always be with you."
Chandler woke up, covered in sweat and breathing weird. He had tears streaming down his face and he turned over in bed, seeing an empty space next to him. He felt panic rise in his stomach.
"Monica?" He shouted. "Mon?" Nothing. He got up on shaking legs and stumbled to the living room. Empty. No sound but the tick of a clock. He pushed himself towards the bathroom door and opened it, seeing Monica at the sink getting some water. She put her glass down and looked at him.
"What?" She asked. Chandler wobbled towards her and hugged her tightly. She laughed as he did so, until she noticed he was crying.
"What's wrong sweetie?" She asked.
"I had a horrible dream about you," He said. She could tell he was shaken up so he led him back to bed.
"What happened?" She asked. Chandler brought her closer to him before beginning to speak.
"I was at my desk. I was writing out someone's eulogy, your eulogy... In the dream you had died. I keep remembering all these things you had said. Suddenly I remembered this thing you had said about a note. In the dream I opened the drawer and sure enough, a note was there." Chandler said.
"What did it say?" Monica asked.
"It said 'I will always be with you.'"
Posting as: FriendsTvFiction