A/N: I got some serious writer's block/ laziness to do my other story, 'True Love', so I decided to do a sad one-shot of what I think would happen if Jem died. Enjoy!... Or be sad, just don't blame me. I'm not very good at this. Might be OOC, but I like it better like this.
Disclaimer: I don't own The Infernal Devices

Tessa's POV
Jem was dying. I knew he was. I just didn't want to face it. Now, he might really die soon. I can barely look at Will, much less speak to him, except about Jem. I know Will loves me, but I can't leave Jem. Not now. Not like this, and I can't have him when Jem is gone because then it would seem like I was waiting for him to die.

"He wants to see you." I looked up from my book to see Will at the door, not quite looking at me. I stood up, smoothed out the dress I was wearing, and followed him to the infirmary, where Jem had taken up permanent residence as his condition worsened to the point where he couldn't get out of bed.
Jem was awake, and as I walked to him, his silver eyes followed me. "Wo ài ni, Tessa," he whispered. I love you, Tessa.
I smiled softly, saying,"I love you, too, Jem." Tears were threatening to come out, but I knew I had to stay strong, had to pretend everything was fine, just fine.
"I'm glad," he said, closing his eyes as a small cough goes through his body. "I'm sorry we did not get married, or have children."
My smile faded a bit. "Don't be. I am with you, and that is all that matters."
He smiled, a radiant smile that lit his face like the sun. Then, his smile faded, and I called his name, "Jem? James? James Carstairs!" I checked his pulse, nothing. I listened for his heart, silence. I knew he was dead. The tears that had only threatened to come out now came in full force. Blackness was creeping into my vision, and I knew I couldn't stop sobbing.
The last thing I heard before the blackness overtook me was a worried cry of "Tess?"

When I awoke, Will was leaning over me on a chair at my bedside, a worried look etched onto his face.
"It wasn't a dream, was it? He's really gone, isn't he?" I questioned.
The look on his face told me everything. "I'm so sorry, Tess."
I started sobbing once again, and Will gathered me into his arms so I sat on his lap. I encircled my arms around his neck, crying into his chest. He rocked me back and forth, calming me. When I was finished, he set me back on my bed with a kiss on my forehead and I fell back asleep, exhausted from the events of today.

When I woke again, Will was gone, and it was morning. I don't know what to do, know that Jem is...gone. I will miss him, and they probably won't even let me go to his funeral, as I am not a Shadowhunter. I spend the days after Jem's death in my room, only eating when Sophie or Will urge me to. Will has been at my side the whole time, mourning the loss of his best friend, his parabatai, his brother as I mourned my love.
I realized I do love Will, the same or more than Jem.

The day of the funeral, Gideon, Charlotte, Henry, and Cecily went to the funeral. I stayed behind, and Will kept me company.
I stood at the balcony, watching them leave. Will stood with me, both of us wearing white, for Shadowhunter mourning.
I remember another day, another funeral. My aunt Harriet, oh how I miss her. She might have been able to help me sort out my feelings for Will.
I remember Will, the day he told me he loved me, the day I met him, the times I've kissed him, every day with him...
"Tess, what are you thinking about?" He asks, staring intently at my face, as if trying to find his answer there.
I blurt out: "You." before I've fully processed his question and immediately wish I hadn't said so. He had an unreadable expression on his face as he looked straight ahead.
"What are you thinking about, Will?" I ask, looking at him.
He gives me a look, says, "I'll give you one guess." with a smirk and before I knew it, he had bundled me into his arms and kissed me.
"Does that answer your question?" He asks, smirking.
"Yes, yes it does," I answered him.
We stood there, side by side, staring at the London skyline, until I said, "Will..."
"Yes, Tess?" (A/N: that rhymed, hehe)
"I-I think..."
"Yes?"
"That I'm in love with you."
"Really?" He didn't give me any time to respond, as he then proceeded to spin me around in his arms and kiss me.
It was picturesque. We stood there, kissing and talking and reminiscing. We may not have gone to Jem's funeral, but I think he would have wanted us to be as we did, not to have gone to his funeral, full of Shadowhunters who didn't know him well enough to love him as we did.