A/N: Sometimes, crack just kind of finds its way to your brain and burrows there. And breed. This is the result of said crack. Still ongoing, merely an experiment, don't expect serious things, and above all, enjoy :)

Uh...

Everyone's probably wondering what's going on. See, I'd explain it if I could, but I only know half of the story, ya know? The rest you gotta talk to someone else, ya know?

INSANITY.

Right, she's right, though it didn't start like that way.

See, we'd all been trying to come back to Garden all hush-hush, ya know, 'cause we miss it and all that, even though Seifer didn't want to. I like fishing and all, but ya know, it's kinda boring. We were glad to have Seifer back, see, so we just kinda did whatever he wanted to do, but we knew he missed Garden too.

POSSE.

Ya, so we went to see Cid after awhile, 'cause he's the one most likely to forgive us and all, plus his wife who didn't really take over Seifer's mind but totally did at some point could kinda maybe vouch for him, ya know? And she did! Real nice and apologetic, she got her way without even getting herself into trouble, and Seifer and Fujin and me were all ready to come back to Garden. No more Disciplinary Committee, but I think we gotta look forward anyway, ya know?

Then we started to get worried a bit about Leonhart and his gang, thinking that maybe he might make life hard for Seifer. We managed to avoid him up until today, and honestly, Squall didn't look like he was up to fight even a Grat, ya know? Kinda ... like he was kinda bummed out, ya know? So Seifer must've thought, man, lookit this high-and-mighty Mr Puberty Boy, didn't get laid last night?

WRONG.

Who knew Seifer'd pick the worst day to pick a fight, eh?

IDIOT!

Ow!

No, no, no! Man, I'm saying all this wrong. It's not Seifer's fault, I'm telling ya. He picked a fight, yeah he did, but... but... he didn't provoke anyone, ya know? He just ended up in the middle of things, kinda like how we did, ya know? It was already a mess to begin with, and all I know is that it's got something to do with Rinoa, that cowboy guy from Galbadia, and something about a stuffed chocobo.

The cafeteria? I dunno, man, maybe it was the hotdogs, ya know? I'm not sure it's related to Rinoa...

No, no, you misunderstand me, I said Seifer THOUGHT it, not that he SAID it. He didn't say anything to Squall, right Fujin?

NEGATIVE.

Anyway, Seifer's just as much a victim as we are, so don't go blaming him for something that ain't his fault. I'm telling you, he DIDN'T pick a fight. He really didn't.

Am I injured? Well, thanks for asking, yea? Would've been nice if you'd ask that in the beginning. I ain't hurt, no, that dog of Rinoa's ain't so bad. She's real friendly if you give her hotdogs, yeah, reaaaaaal friendly. She only bit me because I was trying to get little sunshine girl off of Seifer, ya know?

IDIOT!

Ow! Uh, so yeah, can we go now? Gotta help find Seifer anyhow, ya know?

This is your Acting Commander speaking. All students please remain inside Garden. We are leaving at approximately 1300 hrs. Nida, set our course for Trabia. If you have any information at all regarding today's events, or if you have seen Commander Leonheart, report to the bridge.