"You green turds have got nothing to be proud of!" Elsa cringed at the harshness of the Assistant Commissioner's tone. The fat man was pounding his fist on his desk, staring down the line of new officers like a bull ready to charge. "This case was peanuts and you turned it into soufflé! Never in my my time on the force have I seen such a crew of screw-ups!"
"B-but we have the guy in custody, sir." There was a deathly silence following Officer Borovicz's nervous and ill-advised statement.
The Commissioner leaned forward in his chair, the pressure on his belly causing veins to bulge in his neck. "Do you want a cookie, Borovicz? Because I can get you a friggin cookie; I'll wrap in the shredsof that family's peace of mind!" He slammed his table again, knocking over his pen holder. "How do you manage to get a civ family taken hostage in their own apartment? How does anyone let that happen!?"
"Commish," Officer Freeman said, her voice just as shaky as Borovicz's had been, "we didn't mean for it to—"
"Whether you meant it or not, it happened, private! Now we have S.W.A.T. teams to pay for having to mobilize, ambulances to pay for transporting that poor family to the hospital, and...we have some decisions to make."
"Decisions?" Borovicz sounded like his throat was seized completely.
The Commissioner leaned back in his chair. "Decisions, Borovicz; clean your ears out." He adjusted a couple papers around on his desk. "The three of you were assigned as a team to give you all a better chance to survive out on detail, and you've proven you aren't ready for detail yet. There will be punishments for letting a routine arrest get so far out of hand. Two of you will be re-assigned to desk work until we can find a proper veteran officer to show you the ropes again. One of you, the one behind the brilliant idea to capture the perp that ended up leading to this fiasco, will receive a different punishment." He steepled his fingers. "First, though, we need to know who is responsible for what; any takers?"
"It was Winters! The whole thing was her doing, sir!"
The Commissioner looked shocked. "Borovicz, you're just going to throw Officer Winters under the bus to save your own skin? No wonder your unit broke down!"
"No, sir, it really was Winters," Freeman said.
"You too, Freeman? God above, don't you care about your partner? Winters got top marks through the academy, she's a killer mark, and she was hand-picked by the Commissioner himself to serve on our force. She knows police protocol; I don't believe either of you." The Assistant Commissioner's eyes turned to Elsa. "Speak up, Officer Winters! Don't you have anything to say for yourself?"
Elsa pulled on her index finger. "It...it was…" She trailed off, barely whispering the end of her sentence.
The Commissioner leaned forward again. "I'm sure the K-9 units know all about it now, Winters, but you still have to tell me."
"It was my decision, sir." Elsa relived the moment when the criminal had brandished something from within their coat, and Elsa had shouted for her partners to duck. Borovicz had called out that it wasn't a weapon, but Elsa ordered him to stay down. Freeman agreed with Borovicz, saying the object hadn't looked anything like a gun, but Elsa insisted that she had seen a weapon and the three of them needed to stay under cover until they could confirm who was right. When she had looked, however, the perp had taken off. With four possible exits, Elsa had decided the best course of action would be to split up between the three doors the perp had most likely used. After two minutes of attempting to locate the perp, they had found nothing. They regrouped, and took off in their cruisers to try and re-engage. Borovicz had found him, and chased him into an apartment building. Inside, the perp had taken a family hostage, and the ensuing mess ultimately led to where she was now.
And, to top it off, the thing the perp had pulled out of his coat wasn't a gun, or any other weapon; it had been a balled up pair of gloves.
The Assistant Commissioner's face dropped. "You're serious?" Elsa nodded. "Winters, you know that you went against everything you'd been taught about unit tactics, right?" Elsa nodded. The Assistant Commissioner picked up a paper from his desk, huffing air out of his cheeks. "Well, why don't you just break off my foot and jam it into my mouth yourself," he said, handing her the paper.
Elsa took it from him. "What is this?"
"It's your new schedule; you're taking remedial academy courses. One month, no pay. Your first lesson is at oh-seven-hundred tomorrow, don't be late."
Elsa looked up and down the piece of paper. Clear as day, it was nothing more than a course schedule. Elsa saluted and turned and left the room, folding the paper neatly and putting it in her pocket. She folded her arms and rubbed her own shoulders, the station seeming much colder than it had been before. Normally, she liked cold, but this cold was unnatural. She hadn't felt this cold since that night five years ago; the night that she had already remembered once today.
She had been walking back to her apartment from class late one night, when this same sort of chill had fallen over her. It was oppressive, worrying, and harsh. It was a chill that she couldn't ignore, so she had turned around to see what it was that was weighing this cold upon her, only to find there was a man following her. He had reached into his coat and pulled out a knife; that was what had come into Elsa's mind today when the perp she had been ordered to arrest put his hand into his coat. She remembered being backed up against a building and ordered her to hand over her valuables. She had been too scared to do anything, and the man had gotten angrier and angrier. She started shaking her, grabbing her, prodding her with the butt of his knife, touching her in places he shouldn't. Elsa hadn't known what to do, and she hadn't been able to scream or cry for help. She had been petrified. The situation was growing more and more threatening, and Elsa had accepted that she was going to end up at the mercy of the attacker, when suddenly, from seemingly nowhere—
"Woah!" The man's voice shocked Elsa back to reality as she found herself face-first in another officer's badge. She bounced off him like he was made of bricks, stumbling across the hall and watching the tile floors race up towards her. An arm wrapped around her waist, suspending her prone for a moment, before levering her back onto her feet. "Keep an eye on the road, private," the other officer said, "you're lucky I was able to catch you! This place gets busy around this time of day, it'd suit you well to—wait...Officer 'Winters'?" Elsa's eyes darted from the man's badge to his name patch, finally resting on his face. "Elsa Winters? Oh my God, how have you been?"
"/u/.../u/M1schK4?" The night of Elsa's attack, just as things looked their worst, the man with the knife had been tackled to the ground by an off-duty police officer. That officer was /u/M1schK4, a recent graduate from the academy who was on his way back to his own apartment when he happened to see the incident unfolding. /u/M1schK4 didn't have cuffs, but he managed to restrain the attacker and call in a cruiser to take the man away. He took Elsa back to her apartment and made sure she was okay to be home for the night. Elsa had been very quiet that night, barely even murmuring her thanks to /u/M1schK4 before slipping back into her home, but her mind had been made up even as early as the walk back home. She had felt a need to prove herself, to learn how to stand up on her own, to make /u/M1schK4 notice that she could be strong too. She wanted /u/M1schK4 to notice her, to pay him back for what he did. So she worked her way into the police academy, applying herself vigorously and graduating top of her class. /u/M1schK4 had checked in with her once or twice after the attack, bringing her some homemade soup or another tupperware-meal and asking how she was doing, but Elsa had been just as quiet as she was before. Once he stopped dropping by, she made up her mind that if she ever saw him again, she wanted to tell him what she felt, to tell him that he was the reason she was going on and that he was...special to her. Never had she imagined that she would end up assigned to the same department as the very man she was trying to work to impress, but now that he was standing right in front of her, she found it hard to breathe.
"Right! I'm glad you remember me! And I remember you too, of course!" /u/M1schK4 laid a hand on her shoulder. "I didn't know you'd entered the academy; you must have flown through the courses! It's only been, what, five years?"
"Yea, five years." He does remember. Elsa afforded a small smile.
"That's incredible," /u/M1schK4 said, "congratulations! And you're stationed in my precinct too, that's great!" He motioned towards the stripes on his shoulder. "I'm up to Captain now; last time I saw you I was in your shoes."
"Captain?"
/u/M1schK4 nodded. "That's right! Looks like you'll be working for me now!"
Elsa shook her head. "I'm not...um...I'm not going to be working." She took the papers out of her pocket and unfolded them. "I have orders to take remedial training; no pay."
/u/M1schK4 took the papers from her. "Really? What for?"
Elsa pursed her lips. "I don't…" I can't tell him. He can't know I messed up.
"That's fine," /u/M1schK4 said, handing Elsa the papers back, "I'll just look through your reports later." Elsa felt her heart beat in a panic. /u/M1schK4 smiled. "Or, if you feel like telling me tomorrow morning, I can wait until then." Elsa looked at /u/M1schK4, confused. He pointed towards her course schedule. "I was curious as to who it was that needed my remedial courses, but now I know that it's you. I guess I'll be seeing you bright and early tomorrow!"
"Wait, what?"
"I'm the officer in charge of remedial training, so you'll be taking all those courses with me." He saluted quickly. "Lucky for you, I'm a pretty easy grader." He slipped past her and continued on his way down the hall. "It's great to see you again, and I'm looking forward to tomorrow morning! Don't be late!"
Elsa watched him go with an ache in her throat. She glanced up and down the hall, checking to see if any other officers were coming before she slumped back against the wall and slid down to the floor slowly. This can't be happening, she thought. Now /u/M1schK4 was going to be privy to the fact that she had messed up on her first big assignment, rendering the sentiment of her hard work to try and live up to the service he had done for her worthless. And he's a Captain now, directly over me? She felt a tear well up in her eye. That's so...unfair. Rules were rules, and there were many rules surrounding what would happen now that /u/M1schK4 was one of her commanding officers; a second strike against her, and a second blow to her heart. Elsa closed her eyes and felt her tears drop onto her thighs. She crumpled her papers in her fist. Why now? Why like this? This isn't what I wanted; it should have been—
"Elsa?" It was Freeman. "Elsa, are you okay?"
Elsa stood up quickly and wiped her eyes. "Yea, I'm fine. It's fine." She stuffed the course schedule hurriedly into her pocket.
Freeman reached out to touch Elsa's arm. "Sis, were you crying?" Freeman was one of Elsa's only friends from the academy, and the girl had taken to calling Elsa "Sis" once they had graduated.
Elsa pulled away from Freeman's outstretched hand. "I'm fine, I just need to go home." She turned and started walking towards the locker rooms, ready to get her stuff and wallow in the solitude of her apartment.
"Elsa, I'm sorry you have to take those training courses again; it won't be that bad, you can do all that with your eyes closed. One mistake doesn't mean you're a bad cop, it just means you'r—"
"This isn't about that, Katie!" Elsa recoiled from the bitterness of her own words. She sighed, shaking her head. "I just want to go home." She turned back towards the locker rooms. "I'll see you tomorrow, Katie."
Freeman didn't say anything more.
Elsa felt sick to her stomach. It wasn't from the two pints of Haagen Dazs she had eaten in front of the TV last night, funnily enough; though she did feel sort of guilty that her dinner had been so stereotypical of the "sad lonely girl" trope. It wasn't from watching the city tryouts of American Idol while she was stuffing herself with ice cream, even though Elsa knew she could probably do better than half of those morons. It was because she had just spent an hour and a half in one of the conference rooms with /u/M1schK4, pretending not to be dying inside every time their eyes had accidentally met.
He had started the morning by bringing up that he had read the report from her incident the other day. "I get why you would have been so cautious of a weapon," he had said gently—Patronizingly, Elsa couldn't help thinking— "it's not that big of a deal to be cautious." It's a big enough deal to put me here, though.
The lesson itself was simple, a refresher course in field procedure. Freeman had been right, Elsa could have recalled the information with her eyes closed. She wished her eyes could have been closed, though; it would have spared her the agony of having to see /u/M1schK4 standing in front of her while she knew that she had no way of redeeming herself to him now. He was her Captain, and now her training officer as well. Her chance to tell him how she had felt for the past five years was gone.
She took her cup of water-thin coffee and sat down in the corner of the break room to try and be alone for a minute. He took out her phone and plugged in her headphones, scrolling through her music and finding something calming; an atmospheric track she had downloaded off of some guy's YouTube channel. A piano began playing over the sounds of waves rolling onto a beach, and Elsa closed her eyes. The cup of coffee was warm in her hands, and she could feel the steam wafting out of the rim of the styrofoam cup and up into her face. It felt like the rays of the sun shining down on her as she sat on the beach, and the piano was gently floating her along the water as though she were weightless. She let her eyes peel open again.
/u/M1schK4 was seated across the table from her.
She fumbled her phone clumsily, trying to pause the music as he opened his mouth to speak. She managed to catch the end of his sentence. "...headphones you have there," he said, smiling. "I've been sitting here for a minute or so now and you didn't move an inch."
Elsa felt her face turn bright red as she stuffed her phone and earbuds into her pocket. "I, um, I like music," she said timidly, biting her tongue in disappointment with how foolish she must have sounded.
/u/M1schK4 just kept smiling. "That's awesome," he said, "I'm known to dabble a bit myself. What were you listening to?"
"N-nothing," Elsa said quickly. She shook her head. "I mean, nothing special. Just some...stuff I found online; piano stuff."
"You like classical music?"
"Yes." She turned her coffee cup on the table. "And other stuff, too." Is he…?
"I'm not super into classical music," /u/M1schK4 said, leaning his chair back on two legs and scratching the top of his head. "Like, I don't listen to it all the time, I mean; I love a good piano piece, though. I like real instruments playing as opposed to that electronic stuff."
Elsa uncrossed and re-crossed her legs. "M-me too," she murmured, hiding her face behind her cup as she took a sip of the dreadfully weak coffee. She couldn't remember ever feeling this nervous before. Tests in school were easy, learning to drive was a cakewalk. But sitting three feet from the man that had saved her life? Agonizingly unbearable. And what was he doing, anyway? He was too smiley for normal chit-chat. He's way too smiley for small talk. He couldn't be… Elsa chided herself for being so silly. It's just the ice cream messing with my brain, she thought, that'll teach me to eat sugar for dinner.
/u/M1schK4 cleared his throat. "So, Elsa." She shifted in her seat, eyes looking anywhere but into his. He put all four legs of his chair back down on the ground. "We can start the next class any time you want," he said, putting a hand up to his mouth, like he was telling her a secret. "There's no point in making you stay here all day for these dumb lessons; that first session convinced me you're pretty much going to blow through these things anyway, might as well get them over-with and head out early. What do you say?"
Elsa took another sip of coffee-water. "Okay," she muttered, sliding out of her chair and shuffling back towards the classroom. Anything to stop this torture.
Including the break for lunch, the other three lessons scheduled for today finished just after two o'clock. Elsa had taken her lunch break in the women's locker room, since she had the feeling /u/M1schK4 was going to try and eat with her after what had happened during the coffee break that morning. It's not that I don't want to eat with him, she had told herself, I just...can't eat with him. She didn't want to subject herself to more agony than she was already enduring. She changed back into her civ clothes and exited the locker room, ready to go back to her apartment and waste the rest of the afternoon in a way that would cost her as little money as possible; she wasn't going to be paid for a whole month as part of her punishment. As she pulled her baseball cap down over her forehead, though, she heard /u/M1schK4's voice call out from behind her.
"Winters!" She groaned quietly, stopping and turning cautiously to see him approach through a pack of officers discussing something about getting new uniforms. "Elsa, wait," he said as he drew closer, "I have something to ask you." He paused, possibly waiting for Elsa to say something, but when there was no response he continued with his thought. "I have some reports to finish and a couple other things to take care of here, but I wanted to ask; do you want to go for dinner tonight, maybe get some Thai or something? I think it might be fun to catch up, y'know?"
Elsa felt her pulse freeze in her veins. "Y-you wh—um...go...um…" /u/M1schK4 raised an eyebrow. "I—um—I...money. I-I-I'm on unpaid leave now, I don't know if—"
"Oh, that's okay, I can spot you tonight, no problem!" He clapped his hands together. "Whaddaya say? Want to give it a try?"
Elsa's jaw flapped noiselessly. This is a date. He's asking you on a date. In no universe is this not a date. She felt her palms get sweaty, her neck start to flush red. It was so cold in the station. You can't go, it's against regulation. He's your Captain, he's your trainer. Commanding officers can't date their cadets, it's against regulations. She closed her mouth, frowning as the thoughts kept flowing.
You'll disappoint him.
He's just asking because he pities you; he knows you're a screw-up cop, you can't hide it.
That's why he's giving you remedial training, because he's the one who saves lives.
He's the hero, not you. He's what it means to be strong, not you.
You'd just hold him back.
He doesn't deserve the indignity of dealing with you.
"I-I-I can't. I'm sorry." Elsa saluted and spun on her heel. She heard /u/M1schK4 call after her, but she grabbed the brim of her cap and squeezed it as far down her face as it would go.
It was the only way for her to hide the fact that she was crying. "Stupid," she said to herself. Why can't you just behave like a normal human being?
The next two days of lessons were even worse than the first. Elsa knew why, too; the air between herself and /u/M1schK4 had become sour. He still smiled when she walked in for the morning session, said good morning, and handed her one of the croissants he said he got from the breakfast tray in the other conference room. He still asked her if she needed a break, or if she wanted to just power through the rest of the day's sessions and go home early. He still sat with her on breaks and drank coffee. But it was different than what he'd done that first day.
Now, there was no chat, just business.
Elsa could tell that something was different since she had clumsily rejected his offer to go out for dinner. If he tried chatting to her now, it was only about stuff they had just covered in the lessons. He didn't ask her about her music, or what she watched on TV last night, or how her trip home was, or anything. It was all strictly business.
Elsa felt, in a way, disappointed by that. Don't fool yourself, it's not like you'd interest him with anything you possibly could have to say. But despite what she thought, there was still a part of her that...wanted the attention, wanted to share with him. As awkward as it had been when he had asked about the music she had listened to, Elsa felt like that was the sort of thing she wanted more of from /u/M1schK4. She wanted to just...be with him. Be around him. Be involved with him and the things he did. She wanted to talk to him, to know him. He'd done so much for her, and she wanted nothing more than to have the opportunity to give it back tenfold.
But he didn't deserve to be burdened by her, so she let him be as quiet as he wanted. It wasn't her decision to make whether or not /u/M1schK4 wanted to let her know about who he was, and she wasn't going to over-step her bounds as an unpaid cadet and insert herself where she didn't belong.
Elsa shut her apartment door behind her after returning from her third day of remedial lessons. She dropped her bag on the table and hung her cap on the coatrack, kicking off her shoes and walking over to the calendar in the kitchen. She picked up a pen from the counter and crossed off the current day. She sighed. "Only twenty-eight more days of hell left."
She turned on the TV and curled up on the couch, cuddling her favorite panda bear pillow to her chest and flipping over to a movie channel to catch the middle of Bourne Identity. She stuffed her face into her pillow, exhaling heavily. She turned the bear around and looked straight in the beady, black button eyes. "I need more you in my life, buddy," she said to it quietly, "you're pretty good at letting stuff happen and keeping on with just being cute." She squeezed the pillow tightly, digging her chin into the top of the bear's head. "Do you want to try teaching me that? How to be cute, I mean?" The bear stayed quiet. Elsa shrugged. "I'll take that as a maybe."
Eventually, the movie ended and Elsa got up to make herself some popcorn. With the steaming bag in hand, she settled back into the rut she had worn in her couch and cocooned herself in a blanket to watch the next movie to come up: Fever Pitch. Elsa didn't care much for baseball, or sports in general, but her arms were wrapped too tightly around the panda pillow and her fingers too buttery from the popcorn to bother changing the channel now. She watched Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore watch baseball games and grow as a couple until the credits rolled. She felt so tired; the empty bag of popcorn had fallen onto the floor and she was resting her head on the arm of her sofa like it weighed a ton. I must have a lot on my mind, she joked to herself, affording a small smirk. She closed her eyes for a moment, considering just going and laying in bed for the rest of the night despite the fact that it was barely even five o'clock. It wasn't like she had any other plans.
A knock on her door begged to differ. Elsa heaved herself to her feet and walked over to the knob, taking a hold of it and swinging the door open. Her eyes practically popped out of her head.
"Hey, glad I caught you." /u/M1schK4 smiled down at her, peeking over her head at the depths of her apartment. "Your file was attached to your incident report, and I noticed your address hadn't changed since the last time we saw each other, so I figured it would be easy for me to drop by."
"Wh-what are you doing? Don't you...have work?"
/u/M1schK4 waved his hand, alerting Elsa that he was carrying a plastic bag printed with the words "Thank You Come Again" in big red letters. "Work-schmerk," /u/M1schK4 said, "I can finish the paperwork later. It's Friday night! Why not enjoy it?" He raised the bag up in front of her face. "Since you weren't too keen on going out, I thought why not have a night in, right?"
"No!" Elsa looked over her shoulder in a panic, realizing quite suddenly that her apartment was a complete pigsty. She turned back to /u/M1schK4, closing the door a bit. "No, I can't. Sorry, I…" She searched for more words, but the failed to come to her. /u/M1schK4's face fell.
"Why not?" He leaned to the side slightly, peering over her head again more conspicuously. "Do you have something going on in there?"
"No, I just—"
"Did I do something to offend you? If I did, I'm really sorry; I'd like to know how to make it up to you."
"It's not...no, I—"
"Do you not like Thai?"
"No!" Elsa said forcefully. Her hand was shaking violently on the doorknob, and in the quiet that followed her outburst she could hear the latch jiggling. She took a deep breath. "We just can't, /u/M1schK4!" She shut the door in his face. slumping against it and collapsing to the ground. It felt like every system in her body was failing. Her heart was pounding out of her chest. Her eyes were burning, watering, crying. Her hands shook like tremors as she brought them slowly to her mouth and bit down on the tips of her fingers. She squeezed her eyes shut and willed herself away, trying to find a way to transport herself to that calm and peaceful beach she had heard in that song a few days ago. Stupid, stupid, stupid. You know he's not going to take "no" for an answer.
More thumping on her door proved her conscience right almost immediately. "Elsa? Elsa, open up, please!" /u/M1schK4 waited less than a second before knocking again. "Elsa, I want to talk to you; there's something going on that I don't understand, and I need to ask you about it. Please open your door." Elsa tried to call back to him, to tell him to go away, but all that came out was a small squeak. /u/M1schK4 continued knocking. "Elsa? Elsa!" He paused, the knocking ceasing. A part of Elsa believed that he had actually left.
She was proved wrong when his voice sounded out again.
"Elsa? Don't make me do it."
Elsa shook her head.
Another few moments' pause.
"Officer Winters! This is your Captain, Officer /u/M1schK4; open the door!"
Elsa shook her head even more vigorously.
"Officer Winters, I have reason to suspect that your apartment is currently housing some suspicious activity, and I would like to ask you kindly to consent to a brief search."
Stop, please.
"I know you can hear me, Officer Winters. This is your commanding officer ordering you to open this door!"
Elsa started clawing her way up the wall, struggling back to her feet. I can't believe it. I can't believe this is happening.
"Winters, if you don't open this door, I'll come back in fifteen minutes with a warrant and make you open it!"
Elsa threw the door open with such force the doorknob crashed into the cabinets in the kitchen. "Fine!" She felt her fingers digging in to her palms. She turned away from him, clawing at her own eyes. "Fine, come in the stupid apartment!" Her voice was creaky and hoarse. "It's a huge mess, though, put your bag on the table and sit down; I need to clean up a bit." She didn't see him come in, but she heard the takeout bag crinkle onto the table and the door close behind her.
"Thank you." /u/M1schK4's voice was low, soft.
Elsa wiped her cheeks. "I have...I have, like, Verizon channels and AMC. The r-remote's on the coffee table. Just...just let me clean some stuff up." /u/M1schK4 tiptoed around her and made his way to the couch, and Elsa turned to move all her junk off of the dining table. She heard the channel change as she scooped the coats, bags, and books into her arms. She shuffled to her bedroom and dropped the things on her bed, which was unmade and already covered in clothes. She slammed the bedroom door shut as she returned to the main part of the house, seeing /u/M1schK4 looking slowly around the room, ignoring the sports newscast blaring from the TV.
"I've never been in here before," he said gently, as innocently as possible. "I've seen the outside of your door a few times, but you've never let me in."
Elsa scowled as she picked up some dishes from the coffee table. "Yea, well, have a good look while you can."
/u/M1schK4 shrugged. "I never said it wasn't nice, you know. And it's not really that messy either; now, if we were at my place? Boy, I'll tell you, you'd need a pickaxe to dig through some of the crap I have laying—"
"Why are you here?" Elsa slammed the cups and bowls she had collected down on the kitchen counter. /u/M1schK4 looked over at her, confused. She tapped her fingers on the counter. "I don't remember inviting you over, you just looked up my address and invited yourself."
/u/M1schK4 blinked. "I already told you; you didn't want to go out to eat, so I brought some takeout so we could catch up in here."
"I thought I told you that I didn't want to do that." Elsa felt her eyes start to water again. "Or did you not hear me?"
"No, I heard you," /u/M1schK4 replied, "but I also heard something that made me really worried." He turned off the TV, tossing the remote aside on the couch. He looked Elsa straight in the eyes. "Are you okay, Elsa?"
Elsa bit her lower lip, frowning. "Yes."
/u/M1schK4 raised an eyebrow. "Really?"
"I said yes."
"When did you eat two pints of ice cream?" He nodded towards the kitchen.
Elsa spun around, noticing now that the two empty Haagen Dasz containers were sitting on the counter, one of them still housing the spoon she had used to devour them with. She turned sheepishly back to /u/M1schK4. "Over the past few days," she lied, "just snacking during commercials and stuff."
"That's kind of a lot."
Elsa furrowed her brow. "Thanks for that," she said angrily.
/u/M1schK4 slapped himself in the forehead. "No, that's not what I meant. What I meant was that it seems like emotional eating, and based on the other vibes I'm getting from you, it makes me think that something's going on." Elsa crossed her arms. "Elsa, you can tell me if something's wrong. I want you to feel like you can talk to me about stuff."
"We can't, /u/M1schK4, you know that."
/u/M1schK4 shook his head. "No, I don't know 'that.' What is 'that?' What 'can't we?'"
"You know! You know regulation!"
"What does regulation have anything to do with this?"
"What?"
/u/M1schK4 stood up from the couch and walked over to the table, leaning on the back of one of the chairs. "Elsa, why do you think I'm here?"
Oh my god. Elsa shook her head, covering her mouth and walking across the room to the couch. Oh my god, you're so stupid. You are so stupid!Of course he was never trying to hit on you; he's too perfect to do that. She dove head-first into the couch, arm reaching out frantically for her panda bear pillow. He never even thought about hitting on you. He never even dreamed it! But your stupid butt couldn't see that, obviously. It's always about you, you, you and what you want.
"Elsa?" /u/M1schK4 turned and approached the couch slowly. "What's wrong?" Elsa's response was directly into the couch cushions, rendering it incomprehensible. /u/M1schK4 sighed. "You can talk to me, Elsa. Please, I just want to understand."
"I screwed up, okay?!" Elsa flipped over and flailed her arms around childishly, pounding the couch with her fists. "There, I said it! Are you happy now? You're perfect, and I'm a wreck! That's what's wrong, /u/M1schK4!"
"Are you talking about the hostage thing that got you taken off pay? Elsa, that's just part of being a cop, things happen; you handled it better than any other cadet could have. You don't need to take it so hard."
"That's easy for you to say! You're a Captain! You've been saving lives for years! I just want to save lives too, but I can't do it!"
"You've had one assignment, Elsa! You can't judge your abilities on one stupid assignment!"
"Your first assignment went better than that!"
"My first assignment?"
"Yea!"
"What do you think my first assignment was?"
Elsa blinked. "Are you...kidding?"
/u/M1schK4 shook his head. He sat down on the coffee table. "You know what happened the first time I went on patrol? I got called to backup a car chase, and I wrapped my cruiser around a telephone pole." He grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling it away from his neck and revealing a massive patch of scars around his collar bone. "I shattered my collar bone, broke six ribs, and dislocated my shoulder. If the glass from the window had hit two inches to the left, it would have ripped my lungs to shreds. And I was one of the better drivers in my cadet class, too." He let go of his shirt. "That was my first patrol. That was why I stopped coming to see you after the night I helped you out; I was in the hospital." Elsa pulled her pillow in to her chest, sliding her heels up to her rear and squeezing her knees tightly. "Helping you out was something that just...happened. And I'd do it again in a heartbeat. This time, though, it'd be because you're my friend. And I'd kick the crap out of anyone who tried assaulting one of my officers."
Elsa was crying. She didn't care any more. "Your friend…" Her voice sounded far away, hollow.
"We're friends, Elsa." /u/M1schK4 smiled. He reached out a hand and placed it gently on her knee. "And you're right; I do know what regulation says. I'll tell you right out front, that's not what's on my mind right now. As long as we're patrolling in the same precinct, we're going to have to be professional." He patted her knee. "Can you be okay with that?" Elsa didn't respond. /u/M1schK4 sighed. "I'd like to get to know you more. Maybe I get transferred, maybe you get promoted to Captain across town, or maybe something else. Right?" Elsa looked up at him. He shrugged. "I'm not saying I'd never…"
Elsa's heart leaped into her throat. "You're the reason I became a cop." The words left her tongue before she could even think.
/u/M1schK4's smile faltered for a second. "I'm...really?"
Elsa felt her face turn bright red. No hiding it now, genius. She nodded pitifully. "I wanted to be brave like you. I wanted to help people like you'd helped me. I wanted to show you that I can be strong."
/u/M1schK4 shook his head. "Elsa, I knew you were strong. You went home that night like nothing had happened at all. It wasn't because you were numb, it was because you were strong enough to put it behind you. And every time I came back to check in on you, I could see the same thing." He rubbed her knee with his thumb. "I'm honored that I inspired you to change your life and take on something new. It means a lot that I could move someone as strong as you."
Elsa bit her pillow. She felt more tears roll down her cheeks. /u/M1schK4 smiled. She felt her ears burn. You can be his friend, that's more than good enough. She spat out the furry cushion and murmured, "The, um...is the food going cold?"
/u/M1schK4 looked over his shoulder at the bag of takeout on the table. "Oh," he said, "are you hungry?" He stood up and went over to the bag, pulling out one of the styrofoam boxes and opening it up. He put a finger into a mound of rice. "I could zap it for a few seconds, I guess. Is the microwave—?"
"Over the sink," Elsa said, nodding in the direction of the appliance. /u/M1schK4 spun around comically, finally zeroing in on the little black box housed amongst the cabinets. Elsa afforded a small smile. She uncurled herself from around her pillow and stood up, wiping her cheeks dry of tears. She shuffled her way to the kitchen, where /u/M1schK4 was finishing up punching in the numbers on the microwave. "u/M1schK4?"
"Hmm?" He turned around.
Elsa took a deep breath. She stepped forward, arms outstretched, and wrapped the man in a hug. She heard his breath seize in his chest, which made her smile a bit. It wasn't panic, or fear, but pleasant surprise. "I'm sorry to make you worry."
u/M1schK4 patted her on the back. "It's okay; I'll worry about my friends any day."
Elsa released him, stepping back quickly as she felt the invisible iron curtain of police regulation slam shut between them. She was smiling broadly, though. u/M1schK4 was as well. "And, thanks for coming to check on me," she said quietly. "I...didn't know I needed you to."
He nodded. "Any time." The microwave beeped, and he turned to remove the warmed-up takeout. He peered over his shoulder at her. "That smile looks good on you," he said slyly, "you should wear it more often."
Elsa giggled, running a hand through her hair and gathering it over one shoulder. "Stop it," she replied. u/M1schK4 laughed, putting the other takeout box in the microwave and punching the buttons again. Elsa felt her face come to rest in a grin. We both know, she thought, it's only a matter of time.
One day, everything will finally fall in line.
A looser interpretation of the song you requested, u/M1schK4, but I hope you liked it just the same:
"As Long As You're Mine" from Wicked: YouTube /watch?v=z4tWBetHvsA
Thanks for reading! :)