Skins may not be mine, but the grammatical and spelling errors are.

Wandering in the dark

Emily

The sun has set, but the last of the light has yet to fade from the sky. I wiggle my toes a little deeper into the sand. The night air has started to cool the surface of the beach while just below my feet have found the heat of the day still trapped. All through the day we stayed in the water and searched for shade to avoid the heat, now I find myself seeking out that residual warmth. I just want to crawl under that top layer and be surrounded by the warm closeness of the sand, like the security of wrapping up in a blanket for a nap on warm afternoon.

I look out over the ocean toward the point where the sun disappeared earlier. The sky still has the red purple color of evening, a few clouds on the horizon glow pink with the last rays of light. And the water has become a huge dark void.

I try and relax and just let my mind wander but I keep coming back to the same thoughts and fears and guilt. I wish I could bundle up all the dark thoughts and cast them into the inky void before me, but try as I might I can't. They are too deeply rooted.

I accepted her apology and took her back. How could I not? I loved her. Even as angry and hurt as I was, I loved her. But the week before this trip began the fear started to set in. She had got scared and run before, many times. And then would make a grand gesture and come back. Was this just another grand gesture? Would she run again? The fear, the doubt. I started to hold myself back just a little maybe with out even knowing it. But Katie knew, she could see it happening.

My sister set me down on her bed and handed my a letter she had written, to me. She told me not to open it until I heard the front door close. I opened it and stared in disbelief; three pages written in long hand, this from a person who considers 140 character text message a major writing assignment. I read it through once and was mad. How dare she recount what I had gone through, and tell me how I should feel. I read it a second time and started to feel guilty at the person I had been. The third time, I cried most of the way through, I came to understand how I had treated my sister, my friends, my family, my girlfriend and my self.

She could see things I could not or would not. Naomi and Sophia had hurt me, and everyone would have understood me being upset with them. But I went and rescued Sophia's memory and placed all my hurt and anger on Naomi. I just couldn't be mad at the girl who felt rejected, got high and jumped off the railing. I was so close to that point myself. In the weeks before the trip Katie could see when I was starting to pull back and guarding my feelings, and used the letter to reminded me just how much Naomi cared. That through all the emotional and physical abuse I inflicted on her, Naomi stood by me. Most would have left, the rest would have struck back, but she did neither. She let me tare her world apart and still came back and told me how much she loved me.

Katie closed the letter with two warnings. First, she had already warned the blonde what would happen should she ever hurt me again. And that the same warning went for me. If I ever treated Naomi like that again I would have Katie to deal with. The Second was that if I ever breathed a word of this to Naomi, Katie would beat me like my name was James Fitch.

As I sat there and reread the letter in my mind again I must have kept digging at the sand with my toes, because I hit a cold damp layer. The change in surface against my feet stilled both my mind and my movements for a moment. I looked down at how far I had worked my feet into the sand and wondered how long I had been sitting there. The sky had lost its color and the first quarter moon was high over head lighting the white foam of the waves breaking on the beach. Where was Naomi? She had been talking to that cute cabana girl and now... where was she?

Before I could continue that line of thought a voice out of the darkness called my name, "Miss Fitch?" It belonged to that same cabana girl.

"Yes?"

"Miss Campbell said I would find you near here and asked that I escort you down the beach."

I looked up not really understanding what was going on, but removed my feet from the holes I had created, stood and followed as she lead me across the sand. She took me over to one of the big beach loungers. In the dark I could see the shade canopy had been pulled back and bug netting suspended from one end. Pillows and blankets had been piled up and in the middle sat Naomi.

I flinched a little when the cabana girl spoke, "Will there be anything else?"

"No," answered Naomi, "this is perfect."

She smiled at both of us and stepped backward fading into the darkness. Naomi extended her hand and spoke, "It is a beautiful night, would you spend it with me under the stars?"

My heart melted and I could almost hear the splash in the water as I cast away all the dark thoughts I had been harboring. I took her hand and climbed into the bed next to her as we pulled each other into an embrace.

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