Here are a couple of…er…guidelines. These might seem like a good idea At the time but you'll regret it later. Trust me, They're not worth it.
1. The Skull-Cave does NOT need a Skull-Mobile.
2. The Phantom's "Death's Head" ring is NOT to be replaced with a mood-ring.
3. Likewise, his "Good Mark" ring is NOT to be swapped for a Purity Ring.
4. Devil is not to be annoyed when he is eating/asleep/awake.
5. Seriously DON'T ANNOY DEVIL!
6. Hero is NOT going to be sold to make glue. Do NOT tell Heloise otherwise.
7. Do NOT challenge Kit Jnr to a 'Who-can-pee-furthest' contest then brag about winning at dinner.
8. Every Phantom has always been called Christopher (or Kit). Do NOT question this.
9. Derek is NOT a viable alternative and should not be suggested at any time.
10. Neither is Chuck Norris. Although that is awesome, it is not appreciated.
11. The Skull-Throne does NOT need a beer-holder.
12. Do NOT attempt to install one.
13. Placing a 'Made in China' sticker on the Skull-Throne is NOT witty or clever.
14. Neither is a 'Property of Skeletor' sticker.
15. Do NOT refer to Guran as Nick Nack.
16. OR Tattoo.
17. OR Mini-Me
18. Do NOT try to get him to play Russian Roulette with the Phantom's semi-automatics.
19. Diana is a black-belt in several forms of martial arts. Attempts to crack onto her WILL result in a broken arm and a few cracked ribs.
20. The Skull-Cave's wireless internet is to be used for tracking down criminals and investigating shady corporations. NOT updating Twitter, gossiping on Facebook or downloading pictures of LOLcats.
21. Alexander the Great's diamond cup will NOT make a fortune on eBay.
22. Humming the Batman theme song over and over is also not appreciated.
23. Stealing Mr. Walker's** fedora so that you can play 'Indiana Jones' is not helpful when he has to leave for New York in half an hour.
24. Do NOT mock the purple costume. He does NOT look like Grimace and Gay Pride did NOT call.
25. And it DOESN'T need ironing.
(** For the ghost who walks.)