My Angel
(disclaimer : I own non of these letters these belong to Beethoven I just love them I don't own ne of the characters either.)
Onshot!
6 years had passed and I still read these very letters from him he was never a poet but he knew I loved them all the same. It was his way of telling me of his love. Nothing has changed. On this day I cry my self to sleep. With only crook shanks for company. These were the only thing I have left of him. Never will I see his eyes or his smile. Never will I feel his hand in mine. Nor his beautiful laugh. Nor will feel our lips connect. I should have moved on but I never will for our love was ever mine, ever thine ever ours. My life is in complete. My heart is broken. My will to live has gone.
July 6, in the morning
My angel, my all, my very self -
Only
a few words today and at that with pencil (with yours) - Not till
tomorrow will my lodgings be definitely determined upon - what a
useless waste of time -
Why this
deep sorrow when necessity speaks - can our love endure except
through sacrifices, through not demanding everything from one
another; can you change the fact that you are not wholly mine, I not
wholly thine -
Oh God, look out
into the beauties of nature and comfort your heart with that which
must be -
Love demands everything
and that very justly - thus it is to me with you, and to you with me.
But you forget so easily that I
must live for me and for you; if we were wholly united you would feel
the pain of it as little as I -
My
journey was a fearful one; I did not reach here until 4 o'clock
yesterday morning. Lacking horses the post-coach chose another route,
but what an awful one; at the stage before the last I was warned not
to travel at night; I was made fearful of a forest, but that only
made me the more eager - and I was wrong.
The
coach must needs break down on the wretched road, a bottomless mud
road.
Without such postilions as I
had with me I should have remained stuck in the road.
Esterhazy, traveling the usual road
here, had the same fate with eight horses that I had with four - Yet
I got some pleasure out of it, as I always do when I successfully
overcome difficulties -
Now a quick
change to things internal from things external.
We
shall surely see each other soon; moreover, today I cannot share with
you the thoughts I have had during these last few days touching my
own life -
If our hearts were
always close together, I would have none of these.
My
heart is full of so many things to say to you - ah - there are
moments when I feel that speech amounts to nothing at all -
Cheer up - remain my true, my only
treasure, my all as I am yours.
The
gods must send us the rest, what for us must and shall be -
Your faithful Draco
Letter 2
Evening, Monday, July 6
You
are suffering, my dearest creature - only now have I learned that
letters must be posted very early in the morning on Mondays to
Thursdays - the only days on which the mail-coach goes from here to
K. -
You are suffering -
Ah,
wherever I am, there you are also - I will arrange it with you and me
that I can live with you.
What a
life!!! thus!!! without you - pursued by the goodness of mankind
hither and thither - which I as little want to deserve as I deserve
it -
Humility of man towards man -
it pains me - and when I consider myself in relation to the universe,
what am I and what is He - whom we call the greatest - and yet -
herein lies the divine in man -
I
weep when I reflect that you will probably not receive the first
report from me until Saturday -
Much
as you love me - I love you more -
But
do not ever conceal yourself from me - good night -
As
I am taking the baths I must go to bed -
Oh
God - so near! so far!
Is not our
love truly a heavenly structure, and also as firm as the vault of
heaven?
D.M
Good morning, on July 7
Though still
in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then
joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear
us -
I can live only wholly with
you or not at all -
Yes, I am
resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms
and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul
enwrapped in you into the land of spirits -
Yes,
unhappily it must be so -
You will
be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else
can ever possess my heart - never - never -
Oh
God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves.
And
yet my life in V is now a wretched life -
Your
love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men -
At my age I need a steady, quiet
life - can that be so in our connection?
My
angel, I have just been told that the mailcoach
goes every day - therefore I must close at once so that you may
receive the letter at once -
Be
calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve
our purpose to live together -
Be
calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you -
you - you - my life - my all - farewell.
Oh
continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your
beloved.
Ever thine
ever
mine
ever ours.
D.M
Today shall be the day after 6 years of loneliness. 6 years of pain. 6 years of tears shall it all end.
Hermione stood on top of the ruins astronomy tower where she had fallen in love and where he had died. With her letters in hand and her face streaked with tears. She had only a rag covering her. She heard a crack of wands and an appearance of darkly cloaked figures. She saw their bloody claws reach for her she turned towards them and took the final leap. She landed in a mass of broken bones but with her last breath she whispered to a cloaked figure above her . Ever mine ever thine ever ours i love you. As the light left her eyes she felt only peace. Finally the pain has gone.
The Smokey gray eyes of the person above her let a single tear drop to the ground. I love you to My Angel.