Title: Innocence Faded
Author: Dying Dreams
Fandom: Fruits Basket
Rating: M
Warnings: Profanity, drugs and alcohol
Characters: Tohru, OC, Kyo, Yuki, Shigure
Feedback: Feedback is always welcome!
Summary: Three years ago during her final year of high school... Tohru was taken away from the Sohma's. On Akito's orders, her memories were suppressed. The empty holes in her life, she couldn't fill. Something was missing, but what? Shortly after graduation, Honda Tohru vanished. To put it simply, she left Japan and moved to the U.S. Three years later, she returned to Japan. Something was different though. She was doing things to her body she should never have done. Her personality was drastically different from what it once was. She was no longer the Tohru they had known and loved. They wanted that Tohru back, and with the curse broken, perhaps they had a chance before it was too late to do anything for her.

Author's Notes: Well, this will be my first Fruits Basket fic I've put on here. n-n More or less... all of them are going to be out of character. xD It's how it has to be for the story to work. So get over it. n-n; Don't get mad at me. Deal with it. What else... oh. I don't know a lot about drug use and its affects on the body and shit like that, so if it's all... weird and shit, oh well. You'll get over it. I'm doing the best I can with my limited knowledge of such things. Same with the alcohol. If you have any suggestions for what I can do, then tell me. Constructive criticism is loved, flamers will be shot. Stupidity isn't considered feedback.

Eh-heh. The chapter had to be revised so I could work with it. I couldn't figure out what to do for the next chapter. It sort of went away from where the original version was going, but I like this better. So enjoy.

Also, please remember that most times they will not stay in character. As the author of this story I get to do whatever the fuck I want. Commenting on that won't get you any sort of acknowledgement because I won't change it to make you happy. I don't do things that way.

I made a few probably unnoticeable changes to this chapter. A few word changes here and there, nothing to be to concerned about really. But I think the next chapter will be quite a bit longer than this one was, especially with the new addition to Tohru's already fucked up life.

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Fruits Basket. However, I do own all of my own original characters. I am in no way profiting from this.

Innocence Faded
Chapter 1
- - - - - - - - -

"Tohru!" she yelled, tucking strands of golden hair behind her ears. "Where the fuck are we going?" she growled as she ran to catch up with her friend.

"I already fucking told you. We're going to see Hikara. She has something she wants to give us," she replied, not looking back.

"Oh? And what would that be?"

"Fuck if I know. She said it was some sort of new drug her guys had come up with and she wants us to try it."

"Yeah? Shit if it's from her it'll have to be good."

"Of course. She always gave us the best when she was still in New York."

"Yeah," the young woman said as she slowed down, catching up to Tohru. "Why'd she come back to Japan anyways?"
"No idea. She didn't tell me anything. Just packed up and left without a single word. Maybe you can beat it out of her when we see her."

"Yeah right. She'd beat my ass into next week," she said laughing.

"You have a point there. I'm still hurting from last time."

"Serves you right. You were trying to skip out on paying her."

"You wouldn't lend me any money!"

"It's not my fault you were broke. At least I know how to save my money."

The girl hissed at her like a cat and fold her arms across her chest, sticking her nose up in the air and turning away. "Well I'm sorry I don't have such a nice paying job like you do."

"It's not my fault you're a lazy ass bitch."

"Oh that hurts Tohru, it really does."

Tohru only laughed at her words. "You know damn well it's true. Last time I worked with you I got in trouble because you were slacking off."

"I had a bad hangover from the night before!"

"So? A fucking hangover never stopped me from doing my job."

"Well I'm not little Miss Perfect like you! So kiss my ass."

"Perfect? Fuck you Alex. I've never been perfect."

"Oh please. When I first met you, you were nothing but perfect. You cooked. You cleaned. You fucking did everything."

"That's because I knew how to do those things. Unlike someone I won't mention."

"You know what. Just fucking forget it. I'm sorry."

"You're forgiven."

Alex smiled at Tohru and gave her a short hug as they walked. "I really am sorry. I know you had it hard after losing your mom. I mean I lost mine too, but at least you knew your mom."

"Yeah. Mom was everything to me. I don't really remember my dad, so she was all I really had ya know? But I'm over it now. I have all those good memories of her so whatever. It's in the past now."

"Yeah," Alex said, pushing her hair behind her ears again. "So when are you gonna cut your hair again?"

"When we get back. I'm thinking about dyeing it too."

"Oh yeah? What color?"

"Dark brown, maybe. I'm not really sure yet."

"I see. I see," Alex said. "How much farther is it?"

"Hmm. Should be just up ahead I think."

"Kay," Alex said as she yawned widely, causing her jaw to pop.

"Tired?" Tohru laughed.

"Just a little," Alex replied. "I'll be fine though. Wouldn't want to make you carry me back to the hotel," she said, laughing slightly.

Tohru only grinned at her. "It's not like your heavy or anything like that."

"Oh ha ha ha. Very funny. For your information I weigh less than you do so shut the fuck up."

Tohru laughed at her. "Only by a few pounds anyways."

Alex looked at Tohru when she suddenly stopped walking. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know. It almost feels like I've been here before ya know? It some odd way this place feels really familiar, but I'm positive I've never been here."

"Really?" Alex said, looking around her. "Weird. Maybe you have and you just don't really remember."

"Maybe," she replied with a slight shrug of her shoulders. "Oh well. I guess it doesn't really matter. Anyways, Hikara's place is just up around the corner to the left."

"Oh good," Alex said with a sigh of relief. Her feet had begun to ache from all the walking. Why they couldn't take a taxi was beyond her, but she supposed it didn't really matter. They'd be able to rest at Hikara's anyways."

"Come one," Tohru said. "I'll race you the rest of the way," she said as she started running. "Last one there is a stupid bitch!"

"You're fucking crazy Tohru Honda! You here me? Fucking crazy!" Alex said as she started running to catch up to her. She was glad she had chosen to wear comfortable shoes instead of the normal heels. Her feet would've been dead a long time ago.

- - - - -

Silence. That's all there was at that moment. It was almost nostalgic, hearing that voice drifting to them on the wind. Especially on this day, the day Tohru had officially disappeared from their lives. For two years they had gathered together like this, thinking about her, that unique girl had suddenly come into their lives and had loved them all. They knew the voice they heard out there and yet at the same time they didn't. There was something different about it. Mainly in the way it spoke with the other. It wasn't the same as it had once been though. If anything it was the complete opposite. It seemed almost rude.

Brown eyes looked at the young people sitting across from him. The looks on their faces told him everything. They all wanted to go to her. They wanted to bring her back into their lives. She was important to them. To all of them. She been suddenly torn away from them, and at the time there had been nothing they could do to stop it. They didn't blame Hatori because they knew he had tried to stop Akito from forcing him to do it. He had been one of the few who the curse had remained with for a short while longer before it was gone from him as well. But it was before that time could come that he had been forced to suppress her memories.

Shigure Sohma continued look at them. It had been on this day three years ago that they had really last seen or heard from Honda Tohru as she once was. The following day Hatori had suppressed her memories, and they did what they could to avoid her. Only about a month had passed to the time when she would disappear from their lives entirely, leaving nothing but a memory.

But now. Now she was here. Free of Akito, maybe they'd try and do something. Maybe they would try and bring her back into their lives again. Shigure knew it was they all wanted. During the time she'd spent with them, she'd become so close. So loved. She had meant more to them than they had realized back then. But now they new. They should have tried harder to stop Hatori suppressing her memories. Had they done so, Shigure was sure they would have succeeded, but it was fear that held them back. Fear that prevented them from doing anything further.

Here was their chance. Shigure watched in amusement as their faces changed. He knew they were starting to think the things he'd already realized. That they would try and get their Tohru back. He was interested to see how all of it would turn out in the end. Would they succeed? Or would they fail miserably and ruin Tohru's life once and for all. He supposed that at this moment, perhaps it was all up to chance, and it was now considered a game. The objective, save Tohru from whatever it was that would happen if they did nothing; and if they failed to achieve that goal, they would lose her forever.

"Shigure," Yuki was the first to speak, looking up at the older man in front of him.

"What is it, Yuki?" he replied, looking back at him.

"I know what you're thinking," he replied.

"Why what ever are you talking about my dear Yuki?"

"This isn't a game," he said.

"I never said it was."

"You were thinking it though," he replied.

"Perhaps. But then does it really matter? You already know what you must do. I just want to sit back and watch. Because either you will all get her back, or you'll lose her forever. As much as I do care for her, I'd prefer to watch as the plot unfolds." Kyo snorted in response to Shigure's words and looked away from him. If there was one person who had been hurt most by those events, it was Kyo. Tohru had told him she loved him, and with unspoken words he had loved her too. It wasn't something he could deny. He had loved her more than any of them. He wanted the girl he had fell in love with back in his life. He wanted to be with her, and he could only hope that she would share that same feeling.

It was well after midnight when they heard her again. Most of them had risen to their feet, intending to return to their own homes. Tohru was singing a song in English as they passed. They couldn't really understand the words, but they caught some of them. They missed the first few lines of the song as she'd already started before her voice reached their ears again.

Barely conscious, you'll say to no one
Isn't something missing?

You won't cry for my absence, I know -
You forgot me long ago.
Am I that unimportant...?
Am I so insignificant...?
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?

Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?

Tohru had stopped walking but continued singing, her friend eventually joining in, though her
voice was lower than Tohru's.

Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
I know what you do to yourself,
I breathe deep and cry out,
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?

Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?

And if I bleed, I'll bleed,
Knowing you don't care.
And if I sleep just to dream of you
I'll wake without you there,
Isn't something missing?
Isn't something...

Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.

Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?

Their voices faded on the last line and as soon as she was done, Tohru started laughing. Several moments passed before her laughter died away, only to be replaced by choking sobs. "Alex," she said softly.

"What is it, Tohru?" the other girl asked.

The group had slowly edge toward the front gate while Tohru had been singing. They remained
in silence listening to them.

"I hate it."

"Hate what? I don't understand."

"Everything," Tohru said, struggling to hold back her tears.

"Everything? Tohru I don't understand you."

"Have you ever wondered what life would be like if you'd never fallen in love? Sometimes I think everything would be better if we never had to experience that stupidly simple emotion. Sometimes all it ever brings us is endless pain when our hearts are torn out of our bodies and crushed under someone's foot. There's a never ending pain when we think about it, and how that one person you thought would always love you and be there for you suddenly turns their back on you and betrays you. Your world suddenly comes crashing down all around you, destroying all of your hopes and dreams along with it. and all it leaves you with is an empty void that you can never hope to fill. And all you know for the longest time is that pain."

"I remember when we first met," Alex said, walking a little away from Tohru. "You poured your miserable little heart out to me. Telling me how there were all of these empty holes in your heart that you just didn't know how to fill. The never ending pain tearing away at your heart a little more each day. You felt as though you'd been betrayed by the one person you loved most when you needed him most and he wasn't there for you, but you didn't remember who he was, or what he looked like. All you knew was that he'd left you high and dry."

"I still feel that way. Even now," Tohru said, a sob escaping her. "All that pain tearing away at me. I get the feeling that one day I'll finally break down and everything will come to an end, and nothing anyone does or says will change it. Every night I have those dreams, and I see those people whose faces I can't see, and the names I don't know."

"This is what I told a good friend of mine once: No matter what you ever do or say, no matter what actions you take, in the end life always finds a way to screw you over. The pain sometimes will be unbearable and all we can do is scream for the pain to go away. Sometimes it will, and sometimes it won't, but sometimes that's also the price we must pay in order to find our own happiness.

"As humans we take things for granted all the time, and we never realize how great something is until we've lost it. The people who betray you won't ever understand the kind of pain you go through when they do the things they do. They'll never know that emptiness that consumes you. All they know is fear. Fear of something they think they don't understand. They think that if they just give everything will be ok, but that's now how it works.

"Tohru, I'll tell you now. I will never let your heart be broken again. I will not stand by when someone decides to tell you they love you. the pain you went through once, you will never go through again. You deserve someone worthy of you. Someone who won't turn on you and throw you to the wolves to save their own miserable hide. Always remember that where others failed, I'll always be your guardian angel, even if there are things even I can't stop you from doing."

They heard Tohru laugh softly before she spoke again, forcing them to strain their ears to hear her words. "Alexandria the Guardian Angel. It has a nice ring to it. I'll hold you to your word then, my angel. You're the only person alive that I can trust. All the people I knew and became friends with here in this town, they are no longer friends of mine. You remember those two I told you about? I realized when I left Japan, that even they had betrayed me."

TBC...