Lost and Found

Author's Note: More fanfiction! More Furuba! More yaoi! This first chapter was written very quickly, I hope you like it. The rating will go up as more happens—more language, more violence, and more sex! Because what is a good boy-loves-boy story without some lemony goodness? I own nothing, because if I did Hatsuharu would be my sex slave, as would Kyo, and Hatori would belong to my very good friend Jimmie.

Chapter One: Dumped

Hatsuharu couldn't believe it. Of all the reasons as to why Yuki could have asked him to come over, never was this one of the possibilities that came to mind. While making his way over to Shigure's he had pondered why Yuki would summon him at such a late hour; he had thought that perhaps Yuki wanted to hang out, or go out, or be comforted, or something. Perhaps he was feeling stressed and needed someone to help him out in that way. And who better to help than Hatsuharu? Maybe he had just wanted someone to study with—his only other options, after all, were Kyo and Tohru. Or perhaps he had something he needed to tell him, something he had just found out.

Well, Hatsuharu thought bitterly, he did have something to tell me alright.

It was about ten o' clock when Hatsuharu arrived at the house. Kyo was at Shishou's, Tohru in her room, Shigure either in his office sleeping or in his room sleeping. Yuki was sitting at the kitchen table, nursing a cooling cup of tea, looking almost anxious. Hatsuharu just let himself in, kicking off his boots and coming up behind Yuki to wrap his arms around the mouse and nibble at his ear.

Instead of his usual, pleasurable response—either a small laugh that could be labeled a giggle or a deep sigh—Yuki gave a start, turned, and glared at the ox. He looked almost like he was sneering. "How many times have I told you not to come in like you own the place?" he stood up abruptly and, shocked, Hatsuharu fell back a bit.

He didn't understand. Yuki never got that tone with him. Ever. "What's wrong, Yuki? What's going on? What happened?"

Yuki sighed and rubbed his temple as if he was having a bad day and a worse headache. "Nothing's wrong, nothing's going on, nothing's happened." Gesturing to the other end of the table almost stiffly, he said, "Please. Sit down. I need to talk to you."

Numbed, Hatsuharu did as he was bid. He hardly remembered taking a seat; he can't recall to this day when the glass of water was set down before him; or even how long it took Yuki to speak up again. "Hatsuharu. Look at me."

Obediently the ox looked up, dumbstruck, frozen.

Yuki sighed again and took a seat opposite Hatsuharu; he was acting as cold as he would with Kyo. Like a Prince, royalty too good to be human in present company. Hatsuharu wasn't used to this sort of treatment. Especially since they had gotten together a few months back. "The last few months have been wonderful." Hatsuharu's stomach fell and a roaring started up in his ears. So this is what all of this was about. He knew what was happening, and he was powerless to stop it, to speak up, to do anything but sit there as tears began to leak down his cheeks, mouth still hanging open. "At first I thought I really loved you. But lately...lately I haven't been able to feel as enthusiastic as I once did. I can't get all excited about you coming anymore. I try, I really do try, but it doesn't work." He sighed again, resigning himself to get it over with. "I never really loved you, Haru. Not like that. I'm sorry, but I'd rather not date you anymore. It's just too weird."

Hatsuharu wasn't sure of how to react. Oddly enough, he closed his mouth and smiled strangely, coughing up a laugh that sounded more like a bark, cruel and a bit insane. "Well isn't that just fucking amusing." As calm as can be he stood up, not quite Black Haru; not even all that gray. He looked Yuki in the eye; the older boy looked worried, as if waiting for Black Haru to break free. "Just fucking amusing." He didn't trust himself to say anything else. Before he could go Black or do something even worse—such as burst into tears—he calmly made his way back to the main hallway, put on his shoes, and left the house with minimal door-slamming.

He didn't go home. Home was the last place he wanted to go right then. He was so lost in disbelief that he couldn't stop smiling. About a mile from Shigure's house that wore off and his face twisted in his sadness, his inner agony. He fought the tears back. He wanted to roar, to scream, to let Black Haru loose to destroy and reek havoc as he would. Maybe then he would be able to forget, if only for a moment. But he couldn't. He couldn't let go, he couldn't come to terms with the fact that he had just been dumped. Hatsuharu was so gone in his pain that he couldn't even vent. Instead he walked on for hours more, somehow ending up at Shishou's.

XOXOXOXOXO

I was cleaning up the kitchen as Shishou tidied up the porch. It was late, almost midnight. I was sweeping when he showed up, right near the window, which is why I was the first one to spot him. I just stood there, shocked and confused. The first thing that came to my mind was, With his sense of direction how did he get here in one piece? But then I saw his face, and he looked so unhappy, as if someone had just died; no, as if something inside of him had just died. It was a smoldering despair without any anger, which I thought was odd since his first reaction to anything and everything is usually to go Black. Immediately I assumed it had something to do with Yuki; he had to be fine, or else we would have heard of it already and Hatsuharu would have gone insane. The next logical step was that Hatsuharu had just been dumped.

Shishou spotted him, and Hatsuharu looked up. Without even a second's hesitation he threw himself at his old master, burying his face in Shishou's robes. Immediately he wrapped his arms around the boy. I would have been jealous, but I knew what it was like to be held in those arms, and I also know that one only does it when one is having the worst day of your life, at least as a student of his.

I wanted to go out there and help him, but I also knew that Hatsuharu didn't want me. He wanted Yuki. And just like he will never get what he wants, neither will I.