Wintery Regrets
The cold wind scrapped against their young skin, leaving invisible sores in their wake. It was the middle of winter in Moscow; blizzard storms conquered the entire country, leaving nothing untouched by its white purity. The train pulled up to the station leaving a trail of black smoke. Coming to a screeching halt, its doors hissed open as passengers stepped down, followed by several teenagers huddled together like sheep. With chattering teeth, each one clamped down onto their mouths trying to silence the sound of chattering death. It was easier said than done when he (meaning Kai's one man army and his distinctive glare) chose to vacation here in the middle of winter. Brilliant. No matter, the teens would deal with the cold when they dreamt of steaming cups of hot chocolate tingling their senses and taste buds. Oh… just the thought of it was dreamy…
Tyson rubbed his arms silently cursing under his breath. It didn't quite help the fact everybody saw his words turn into icy breaths.
"Can someone tell me why are we here?" he directed the question mainly at Kai. "It's in the middle of winter, we're freezing half to death and most of all: why are we here again?"
True, the memories in Russia were never considered pleasant. Never mind that, the teenager thought bitterly, this was their vacation spot after all. Who could argue against Kai's silent treatment? Right, nobody. He looked toward his teammates dressed up in layers of clothing; Max didn't seem effected. The blond was too busy playing with snow falling into his palm, dissolving on contact. Rei minded his own business, Kenny's teeth were chattering loudly drowning out Hilary's whines and Daichi was a frozen popsicle.
The wind suddenly picked up sending everybody's (except Kai) teeth chattering louder. Tyson had enough.
"This is ridiculous!" he whined. "Do we even know where our hotel is?"
Hilary smacked him on the back of the head, "If you stop whining, we can go and find it! Geez, you're worse than the storm!" with another heavy breeze, Hilary pulled the shawl quickly covering her face.
Looking at Kenny, Max asked, "So do you know where our hotel is?"
"Um…" the little boy spoke through layers of thick, warm scarves. "No."
"What?"
"I said: No."
"Hey… where's Kai?" Rei asked, looking around.
Oh no. He did not just ditch them in the middle of the blizzard. Apparently while everybody was too busy complaining about the cold, the lone wolf left. Now what they were they to do? The map was utterly pointless when every other word was in Russian! Looking down, Daichi was still a popsicle. Oh well, sliding him along shouldn't be a big deal. The thought of using Daichi as a sled amused Tyson only to have his smirk completely wiped off when another strong gush of air knocked him to the side. Everybody looked at each other wondering what they should do. The only available options were bleak. Either: get a cab, find the hotel, slip into cozy rooms and drink hot chocolate goodness or find Kai in the blizzard with luggage. Hot chocolate goodness seemed to be on everybody's mind except Rei. Staring at his teammates, he shook his head; he couldn't allow Kai to wander around by himself (although Moscow was imprinted on the back of his hand). Hot chocolate goodness could wait!
Tyson groaned. Of course… Picking up their bags, they headed down the slippery steps looking for him. It was beyond them why Kai would want to disappear by himself but then again it was Kai. Nobody understood that boy. The group walked through the streets looking around for him but he was nowhere to be found. Passing by a florist, Hilary thought she could ask.
"Excuse me?" Hilary asked in broken Russian pulling out a picture of Kai. "Have you seen this boy?"
The old lady squinted at the picture. Nodding, she gestured the boy in the picture walked toward the edge of town. Thanking her, the group followed the cobblestone streets down toward the edge of town. Trees were scattered and streetlamps were aligned perfectly; old buildings stood tall withstanding the cold as windows wobbled at the hounding wind. There were less and less people at this area of town. Every so often they came across a group of homeless individuals huddled together in alleys by the fire rubbing their hands wishing for warmth. Continuing on the snowy path, they reached large metallic black gates.
"This is a… cemetery…" Kenny's voice shivered.
"Do you think Kai's in there?" Tyson questioned, pushing the gates open.
He was answered when he saw footprints in the snow. And just like that, the blizzard calmed down into soft, cotton fluffs falling from the sky. The winds were no longer angry, the clouds parted revealing the bright blue sky. Leaving their luggage at the gate (and sliding along Daichi), they followed the footprints carefully respecting those who slept in the ground. It was strange; with each footstep they saw a white flower petal beside it. No sooner it was soon revealed where the flower petals came from; standing at the edge of the cemetery was Kai. His distinctive white scarf wavered in the air, dancing around as he stood still, absorbing the quiet moment. Rei's eyes focused on the two tombstones that were in front of him. One was a large tombstone with Russian text while the other smaller tombstone to the side had a snowflake engraving on it. Tyson was about to speak but Rei shook his head.
"It's Kai's moment," Rei whispered. "Let him be."
The group watched Kai as he leaned toward the larger tombstone dusting away snow.
Placing down the flowers he whispered, "I'm sorry, I'm late but I hope you can forgive me. I got you lilies. They were your favorite."
A gentle breeze passed him. Reaching into his bag, he unzipped it pulling out a small metal dish with a paw print along with a bottle of milk. Pouring the milk in the bowl, he placed it in front of the smaller tombstone.
"I hope you're not too hungry. Drink up, okay?"
He stood back up watching the two, almost waiting for a response. The wind remained silent.
"I came back as quickly as I could when I heard the news," he said talking to the larger tombstone. "I didn't want to believe it but… here you are resting."
They observed Kai intently hiding poorly behind a tree. They couldn't decipher his words. Kenny had the feeling they were being watched; every so often he glanced over his shoulder for a pair of eyes staring back at him but he saw tombstones instead. Shaking off the feeling, he turned his attention back to Kai.
Nobody said anything for fifteen minutes watching Kai talk to the tombstone. Most of the things he told were about the things that happened to him in the past years. They heard him chuckle every so often recalling stories of Tyson and Daichi's silly antics, Kenny's first real battle, Hilary's awful cooking, Max's odd obsession with mustard and Rei's sheer determination in his matches. Everybody recalled those moments; they were precious memories.
"Those were the memories…" he trailed off. "But, how have you been?"
Tyson crept slightly closer. Unfortunately his grip on the tree bark was a bit too strong. Cracks echoed followed by a loud thump! Kai snapped around seeing his teammates buried in snow. As expected, he glared daggers at each of them, mainly at Tyson.
"What are you doing here?" he shot. He wasn't too happy seeing all of them stare at him, let alone, eavesdrop.
"Um…" Tyson rubbed the back of his head. Busted.
"We were looking for you." Rei answered. "You suddenly disappeared and we came looking for you. You know, you got us worried there,"
"Hmph."
He returned his attention back to the tombstones.
"Who were you talking to?" Tyson questioned, dusting snow off his coat. The teen approached his friend looking down at the tombstone.
"Vixis…" Kai answered, his face lowered. "She was one of the first people who taught me how to smile back when I was at Balkov Abbey. One of the first friends I ever had."
"Oh…" Tyson was in awe. He didn't know. Now he felt stupid for asking such a personal question. "I'm sorry!"
"Boris found her when she was a baby, abandoned by her parents. He thought he could use her for experiments but realized he couldn't because she was a defect."
Tyson looked up, "Defect?"
"She was born without eyes."
Slowly, everybody gathered. He didn't mind. Maybe telling them what he knew was better for him in the long run; no more guilt… no more horrible memories… no holding back.
"Although she wasn't perfect, she never cared," Kai's fists tightened, shaking with every recollection. "She was treated like rubbish by the others. Abused and tortured, she never once complained. Her heart was pure. In her darkest moments, she forced herself to smile, to live on…"
Silence. Absorbing his words, they felt his pain. Gentle winds picked up ruffling the flowers on the grave.
"I was a foolish boy at the time, thinking only about myself. Never once I paid attention to her but she was persistent. She told me all the reasons why I should smile. One of which was learning to trust and have faith in others. She tried so hard to make me happy when she ignored her own pains."
"She was one good friend," Max said, nodding.
"I agree," Hilary added. "But Kai, did you managed to?"
He shook his head, "I wasn't sure who or what to smile for at the time. I didn't have a purpose to. She told me when I learned how to smile, I was to cherish it with my friends—you guys, I was to come back to her and tell her about it. Now I have every reason to smile but it's too late. She's gone."
All eyes returned to the tombstone. Kai read aloud:
Viktoria Malkovich
Date of Birth: unknown.
Deceased: December 31st, 2003.
Dusting off more snow, he reached into his pocket pulling out a long, white blind fold. Tying it around the tombstone, he placed his hand on his heart and bowed. The amount of guilt flooding him seemed to have lessened, he thought. All that time, he couldn't think of anything else except being the best. Now one of the most important person was gone… forever.
Hugging herself, Hilary's attention moved to the smaller tombstone beside. "And who's that?"
"Snowflake was Viktoria's cat. Both of them were very, very close. He died shortly after."
Another gush of air picked up sending flower petals into different directions. Kenny followed one of the petals until a ghostly white figure caught his attention. Rubbing his eyes, Kenny tugged on Max's coat, pointing to the direction of the ghostly white figure. Max turned around and saw her, the girl Kai talked about. She stood there as her blonde bangs hid her eyes. A small white and ginger cat lay in her arms, purring softly against the warmth of his owner. The wind blew the white floral dress, dancing with the rhythm. She held a white lily in one of her hands, watching, waiting. She smiled.
Max pulled on Hilary's coat that looked over. She saw her too. Yanking Rei's ponytail, she couldn't utter a word until she pointed in the direction. Rei's golden eyes widened at the sight pulling Tyson's and Daichi's jackets. Both boys glanced over.
"Kai look!" Tyson exclaimed. "It's h-her!"
"Nice try," Kai didn't look. His eyes were peeled on the tombstone.
Daichi, who was no longer a popsicle pulled on Kai's scarf, "Kai, he meant it! She's… she's right there!"
Slightly irritated by Daichi yanking his scarf, he turned his head only to see petals floating in the wind. There was nobody there. Nothing. He sighed.
"Well, time to go," Kai said looking at both tombstones before continuing, "I'll come back again, I promise. See you."
With those words, he bowed, walking away never looking back. Everybody watched him walk out of sight before all returned to the direction where the girl stood. She was gone. A strange feeling surged through all of them; they suddenly felt warm, comfortable and welcomed. It was unexplainable but it was the most loving feeling anybody could receive. The group paid their respects to the graves as one by one, they left. Tyson was the last one to leave until he felt a tug on his jacket. Turning around he didn't see anybody but a strange sensation was around his leg; it was as if a feline purred around his leg, rubbing against it before disappearing with the wind. He looked down and saw a message imprinted in the snow. He couldn't help but smile, acknowledging the message:
Thank you for making him smile.
-Viktoria