Ghost of You and Me
Takes place during Season 9, Episode 18, Arthur's Mantle. Cameron Mitchell and Samantha Carter are rendered invisible through transportation to an alternate dimension via one of Merlin's devices. Cameron takes advantage of the situation to reflect on the 'what ifs' in his life. Just another late-night drabble, taking a further look into the character of Cameron Mitchell, his desires and motivations, and of course, a little bit of romance.
Disclaimer: Stargate, Cameron Mitchell, Carolyn Lam are not mine, nor are any noticeable entities. Only the concept here is mine, and I'm not making any money off of it. This is just a hobby for me. The name is borrowed from the same-name song by BBMak, which I felt was an apt title for the material contained within, again no infringement intended.
It had been several hours now. Several hours of frustration and hopelessness while trapped in a quasi-incorporeal side dimension, justified by some 'Sam Carter-technical-babble' that had only made Cameron Mitchell roll his eyes and wonder what use he could possibly be in the situation. After spending some time watching Sam diligently work away at solving their quandary, Cameron had first gone off in search of someone who could maybe still see him, despite the alternate dimension.
Of course, he'd had no luck, and had ended up following General Landry and others around in desperation. Enlisted men and women walked right through him, busy about their tasks while he wondered the corridors of Stargate Command. His roaming had drawn him to the dining hall, where he'd been quite dismayed to realize that not only was the dining staff serving roast beef, but he could not manifest himself physically to affect the world around him.
"Maybe I should have asked for a desk job," Cam wondered aloud but to no one in particular, as he stared down at the delicious plate of roast beef behind a window in the dining hall. As a young lance corporal reached through him and grabbed the plate, Cam through his hands up in frustration and disgust, storming out of the dining hall in a huff.
He had gone back to check on Sam, but when he had told her about the roast beef, she'd paid him little mind and had gone back to studying the device. Cam informed her that he was going for a walk, which she had barely responded to with a wave of her hand.
Cameron stuffed his hands in the pockets of his trousers, stalking through the hallways with no particular destination or reason behind his forced march behavior. Come to think of it, could he even get exercise while in an alternate dimension?
Another sigh was the only reply to his internal question as Cam found his way to the Stargate room. He hopped up on one of the many storage boxes in the large room, seating himself comfortably and watching the various goings-on. When all you could do was watch, Cam quickly realized how much he craved activity and action. That was why he could not have asked General O'Neill for a desk job. Cameron Mitchell could no more sit behind a desk than he could hope to breathe underwater, but wouldn't that be something cool?
Over time his thoughts drifted about, covering all manner of topics. He wondered, albeit briefly, if his car – a 69 Ford Mustang – was in need of an oil change, in which case, he'd simply do it on the weekend. If he got one. If Sam could figure out how to re-sync them with their normal dimension.
He wondered how his parents were doing and even wished, for a second, that he could call home just to hear their voices and the summary of events from home that he'd always receive upon calling home. Following the train of thought, he also made an attempt to remember to water the plant his mother had given him, sitting as it was on the small kitchen table against the north wall in his apartment off base.
It did not take long before such lines of thought dug deeper into his psyche, remembering the life-altering events he'd experienced and been a part of during his short time with the SGC. One prominent memory was the several alternate SG-1s who had come through the gate. It really was something else to see yourself and find out who you were in other realities. A couple of the other Camerons were married, another just dating, but altogether... they all seemed happy.
Cameron couldn't remember the last time he was happy. Truly happy, at least. Sure, he enjoyed his job, and had his hobbies, and friends, but none of it was the same as being truly happy, as he'd seen in the faces of his alternate selves. He abandoned his post in the Stargate room, returning to his self-imposed, introspective death march through the corridors of Cheyenne Mountain.
He'd been invisible for what felt like days, but in reality was only hours, when Cameron found himself standing outside the medical bay. He watched doctors and nurses go about their daily tasks, a quiet statue that could only observe but not interact. That realization quieted Cameron. He was no longer making comments or joking around, as he had been earlier when this alternate dimension business was new and exciting.
No, now he was overcome with a profound feeling of loneliness. Cam could not remember ever feeling so alone, not even when he'd been injured in Antarctica and lost the use of his lower body for quite some time.
It was later in the evening now. Much of the staff had finished their tasks and had gone home. Cam was still busy feeling sorry for himself when he noticed a dim light coming from one of the offices in the hall. He walked over, figuring it was a lamp left on after the room's occupant had left for the night. As he got closer and could see inside the spartan office, Cameron was almost overcome.
Her dark chocolate hair was down, as it usually was, and her labcoat was discarded on one of the chairs in the room. She was dressed casually, wearing a teal blouse with sleeves that came down to mid-arm, and simple black trousers that were stylish and obviously fit quite well. As Cam watched Doctor Carolyn Lam closely, he got the feeling that she was somehow more... human that he had ever expected.
Her eyes looked dark and lidded, obviously tired, but reflecting an ever-present inner strength as if the world were resting on her shoulders, but she'd long-since come to accept the burden. In that moment, as Cameron watched her hands supporting her chin, he couldn't help but he taken back by her beauty. Her face seemed to tighten up as he walked into the office, taking a seat across from her. She glanced around nervously, as if she'd felt his presence somehow, though he knew she hadn't, but wished she could.
Carolyn's eyes teared up slightly. There was no way that Cameron could know what she had been through or how she felt, but at that moment, he wished more than anything that he could be corporeal again and put his strong arm around her shoulders and lend her his strength. He could instantly see why two of the other Camerons had been so taken with the woman that they'd asked her to be their wife.
"Gee, Doc," he muttered. "You're breakin' my heart."
Cam knew she couldn't hear him, but he'd said it any way. He watched as Carolyn closed her eyes tightly, brushing at her lids with a finger. When she opened them, an unconscious grin spread to his face as he took in every detail of her face, from the smooth skin of her cheeks, to the delicate sweep of her eyebrows, to the deep, warm hazel of her eyes.
He sighed, watching her lifelessly enter reports into the desktop computer. No wonder the others me's fell for you, he thought. You look like an angel, even late at night doing reports.
"If Sam ever gets this all fixed," he announced, rising from his chair and walking around the desk to stand beside the doctor, "I'll come on down here, and maybe think about askin' you out for dinner sometime, Doc." He tried to offer her some reassurance, but realized there was little he could do after a failed attempt to pay her shoulder.
At that moment, he felt like a voyeur, and walked from the room. At the door, Cam briefly stopped and looked back at her before he left. Where just a moment earlier he'd seen the makings of tears, he now saw a slight sparkle. Her soft lips had turned upward, ever so slightly, in a smile, as if she'd heard his promise and felt the friendly pat anyways.
"Nah," Cameron chuckled dismissively, taking one last look at the woman and leaving the medical area. "Couldn't be."
For a moment there, this almost became something of a novel-length chapter entry. But in the end, I decided to stick with a vignette solo entry for this one, and perhaps go a little bit longer for the next one I'm working. This was just a brief taste of what I'm brewing up still; the other story will have alot more "Cam abuse" than this one did. I like think Ghost was a light, romantic drabble, more than anything else. Please review!