Egad... guess who's back.

So I realized halfway through writing this that it soooort of turned into a parody at parts... cause I kinda like to make fun of Twilight now XD The movie was terrible, wtf they forgot Jasper's power, my favorite motherfucking Cullen... well, whatever. Enjoy this. It's probably not original plot wise, but the writing will be. I've never read a story like this, so don't accuse me of copying.

Bent

1. Woebegone

"Meet me at my window, at my window, I could use a hero right now;
You could use someone to save, someone like me
Someone who's not brave, someone who's not free,
Meet me at my window."
"Meet Me at My Window" Jack's Mannequin

"Edward!" I whined, pushing my foot against the glove compartment on the passenger side of his car. Without turning, I knew the look on his face was smug; my attempt at making a brake out of his dashboard was entertaining to him. The car hummed, equally entertained, at a higher pitch with each passing nanosecond. He was gunning it, making hairpin turns like he was a NASCAR driver, and I was trying to convince my stomach to catch up with the violent speed at which we were going.

"Did you say something? I couldn't – "

"You couldn't what? Hear me? That's funny, considering your ears are better than Superman's – oh, it's probably because your car is screaming at you for going this fast – oh, no, wait, that's me. Slow down!"

Looking at me nervously, he pushed on the brake gingerly until we were going at a "normal" pace for him – ninety miles per hour – on a thickly settled road.

"Bella, love," he chuckled lowly, "I will not let you get hurt. I promise you that. Do you honestly think I'd ever lie to you on that subject?"

"Obviously not," I responded with a light, fake laugh. He'd probably die before he let me do so, and killing Edward is a very difficult thing to accomplish. What with him being as hard as a rock / indestructible to everything except his own kind.

Edward had saved me numerous times before – many of them indirectly showoffy of his physical, emotional, and mental strength. He'd sucked venom straight from my open and bleeding wrist at one point, and then stopped, easily the most difficult thing for any vampire to do. Especially for Edward to do unto me, simply because of the delicious (yet floral?) scent only I seem to have to him.

Though I'm the most fragrant of all the freesia, he manages to love me, spend ninety-eight to ninety nine percent of his time with me (except when he's hunting – they aren't called vampires for nothing, they do need to eat, even if it's not people), and most importantly, be close to me, in every way, except for the one I wanted most... and I'm sure most of you can guess what that is.

There are few times when Edward loses his mind, loses his cool, and those would be when he's irate to the point of destruction, depressed to the point of self-destruction, and possibly the most inconvenient, when he's kissing me, or otherwise occupied to a sexual point by any other part of my body.

Though he's seen one hundred and seven years, some of the most accurate adjectives used to describe him would be sexy, angelic, perfect, and I'd even go as far as to say ridiculously good-looking. None of them are understatements. If there were to be a movie of our life together, or of just the Cullen family, no actor or actress could ever be beautiful enough to pose as any of them, but Edward was the most flawless of them all. I couldn't even begin to describe him aside from physical looks: excruciatingly kind, generous, compassionate, and perfect, once again.

However, aside from the more... attractive adjectives, there were the somewhat negative ones: stubborn, extremely protective, too chivalrous, self-loathing, and worrisome. About absolutely everything. Excluding himself.

Edward was one of those people who tried to please everyone else before himself – and I constantly realized that whenever he was trying to please himself, I begged him to do something my way. However, that was when the stubbornness would come into play – very rarely did his obstinacy stand a chance against tears, puppy dog eyes, or anything of the sort from me.

God forbid Edward couldn't save my life or protect me, he'd probably go about getting himself killed.. as he almost did once. It was this big explosive thing... he left me for my own good; he didn't want me to get killed by either him, or Jasper, or someone who wasn't able to control that thirst against my floral blood.

I'd pretty much gone insane, riding rickety motorcycles, hanging out with pre-spawned werewolves, jumping off cliffs. There was a misunderstanding, and Edward had thought I'd died, resulting in this epic depression of his that left him searching for death himself. So he traveled to Volterra, Italy, home of the "police"like vampires; the human-feasting, terrifying Volturi, on a sunny day. Public sparkling is a capitol offense in the vampire world... who knew.

But we saved him, Alice and I. And now he was back, not quite as suicidal, and convinced that he would never let anything harm me ever again – physically, emotionally, or mentally. Not like any of that was in his control, but he'd make it so, I was sure.

"Bella," Edward's voice rolled into my ears, concern coloring his tone. I turned my head and he nervously set a hand on my left shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, totally fine," I waved him off. "I was just thinking."

He frowned. "You seem... woebegone."

The smallest hint of a smile threatened to tear across my lips, but I stifled it as best I could. His ancient vocabulary was hilarious at times, especially during situations when he attempted to be serious.

"No, just thinking. Don't worry. I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Edward?"

"Yes."

"I'm fine."

He shot me a smile – the crooked one, my favorite – and turned back to the road, cutting his speed by twenty miles per hour. We were still speeding, but I calmed down at least a bit.

The dreaded end of the car ride arrived along with the beginning of the three-day storm that was setting in. It was just reaching dusk now, and by nightfall it should be in full swing. Edward turned and leant over in his seat, breathing his sweet breath into my ear. "I'll be back in no time," he whispered almost inaudibly, and a shiver shot down my spine. The grin on his face widened as he heard my heartbeat speed up.

"Hurry, get inside," he laughed. But before I could move, he'd already exited the car and hurried around to the other side, opening my door for me. "Mademoiselle," he gestured for me to exit the car with his hand.

I didn't thank him in French – I knew better than that. Any foreign language that he used that I even minutely responded to would result in him speaking to me in that language as long as he pleased, which often got confusing and mildly obnoxious, yet entertaining through his eyes.

"You won't even know I was gone," he promised, kissing me swiftly but sweetly, and then darting into his car and flying down the road faster than I could blink.

My heart went aflutter for a moment, but I composed myself, walking into the house to find Charlie staring aimlessly at a blue box of Kraft macaroni and cheese.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry – "

He obviously hadn't noticed me enter the house, because he jumped and the macaroni spilled all over the floor when I spoke. He put a hand on his heart and sighed in relief when he saw me standing frozen in the doorway.

"Jesus, Bells, way to scare the daylights out of me."

"Sorry," I apologized again, and picked up a broom to sweep the macaroni up with.

"How was your outing with Edward?" he asked suspiciously, and I almost groaned when I recognized his tone. Ever since Edward had left, Charlie's tolerance with Edward had been on eggshells. I'd turned into some sort of a zombie when he'd left, and every time the two of them spoke, Charlie thought of the way I'd been found that treacherous night, and the picture was reinforced into Edward's retinas, where it'd stay for the rest of eternity.

Which was, arguably, a very long time.

"It was great," I smiled. "We had dinner," a lie. I had dinner, "shopped... a lot" another lie. Edward had enough clothes already, and we really hadn't shopped all that much, "we hiked a little bit," biggest lie of them all... Edward ran me everywhere, and we quite literally just sat in our meadow for a few hours, talking, staring into each others' eyes... kissing, "it was really fun." No. It was more than fun. It was easily all I needed to survive.

Except for food... and water. Which Charlie was clearly needing now.

I smiled at the way he was looking at the macaroni and cheese box. "Honestly, how did you survive without me? Or some sort of a maid?"

"I'm not even entirely sure anymore," he mumbled.

I made dinner quickly – porkchops, green beans and potatoes – did the dishes as fast as I could, and ran upstairs, claiming I had to do nonexistent homework. I'd wait until Edward arrived, and then we'd talk for hours on end, just as we had in the meadow.

Life was simple when you'd found your soul mate.

When I opened the door to my bedroom, I was surprised, but I really knew that I shouldn't have been. There was Edward, lying face down on my bed, his head buried in my pillow as he pretended to snore quietly. He was perfect, even acting like a complete goon.

I laughed and jumped on top of him, trying to roll him over with no avail.

The good thing about Edward is when he says you won't know that he's gone, he doesn't lie.