This was something I randomly thought about during math class one day. I thought it would be fun to write and I'm not entirely sure where it's going. Anyway, let me know what you think.
Disclaimer: I do not own Alex Rider.
Alex Rider, officially Cub, unofficially Double O'Nothing, hated Wales. At the moment he hated it more than Alan Blunt or even his music teacher who had practically told him he sucked. He might have liked the fresh air and rich foliage of Brecon Beacons if it wasn't an SAS camp, or Hell Camp as he called it, and if it didn't rain so much.
He'd been there five days so far and he felt beaten, bruised, and battered. His body ached in places he hadn't even been aware of before this blasted training. He'd also received more hostile looks than he'd thought possible. He was rather cowed by K-Unit at the moment, though he would never admit it to anyone and it wasn't like it mattered; he'd sworn revenge days ago.
The soldiers were doing their best to ignore him and make his life as hard as possible all at the same time. He had to admit, they were fairly good at it. He even almost sorry for the person who would become their real enemy and not just an unorthodox fifth member. He cracked a small smile at the thought, imagining K-Unit putting all their being into screwing up some terrorist's plans.
He could easily see Eagle simply annoying them to death with his constant inane chatter. The four soldiers talked very little when Alex was around but when they thought he was asleep or out of earshot it was an entirely different story. Alex had picked up quite a bit about their real personalities simply by eavesdropping. He didn't feel bad about it, hell, he took comfort in the fact that they were actually capable of being human and not just some pissed off killing machine.
Wolf was naturally quite but was insanely good at leadership and cheating at cards. Fox was pretty diplomatic and seemed like a genuinely nice guy. Alex had once overheard him telling the Unit to shut up when they'd gone into one of their Cub related rants. Snake was the medic of the Unit and highly intelligent always spewing out some sort of fact or figure. Eagle was a jokester with a natural ability to be extremely annoying and immature.
Alex had been surprised when he'd first caught a glimpse of the people under the soldier. It had been difficult at first but he'd come to accept that all SAS soldiers had split personalities and had moved on.
Alex and K-Unit had split up for the afternoon as the soldiers went to practice their aim at the shooting range and he was forced to swim five kilometers. Someone, somewhere had decided he wasn't allowed to use a gun. Alex considered himself lucky as far as the swim went. He could have had to do the Jungle gym from Hell for three hours straight. He also didn't even have to finish the swim at all. When a lightening bolt struck a tree right near the lake the Sergeant had ordered him out saying he wasn't going to have his arse nailed to the wall because MI6's pet project had been electrocuted.
On his way back from the lake he took the path that put him at the rear of the hut they were staying in. Rounding the corner he stopped dead, looking at K-Unit glaring at something inside the hut from the doorway. They hadn't spotted him yet and he wondered if he would be blamed for what ever was pissing them off at the moment.
"Who the hell are you?" Wolf asked hotly moving into the hut with the rest of the unit following closely. Alex didn't catch the other person's reply. Extremely curious and wanting to get out of the rain he approached the door cautiously knowing by Wolf's lack of respect it wasn't a commanding officer but someone else.
"Why are you here?" Snake asked as Alex came to the doorway.
"That's none of your business," replied the person. The voice was achingly familiar and Alex froze, shocked. This was impossible. How could she be here? The Unit was surrounding a sixth cot squeezed in next to his and he couldn't see her as she was sitting down.
"At least tell us you're not another addition," Fox said almost pleadingly.
"Please, like I have what it takes to be SAS," she replied. Wolf opened his mouth to say something but Alex beat him to it.
"Why are you here?" he asked and everyone turned to look at him. As they turned K-Unit shifted revealing Jack Starbright. The red headed American was in purple Ugg boots, a mini-skirt, and a black hoodie. She looked so out of place next to a frazzled and murderous looking K-Unit it was almost funny. When she caught sight of him she stood up from the cot and flashed him a wide smile.
"Hi," she greeted simply. "I was wondering when you'd drag your butt back." Alex stared, still not entirely sure if this was real or if his exhausted mind had finally snapped.
"You two know each other?" Snake asked looking between Jack and Alex.
"Since he was seven," she replied brightly.
"Great," Wolf mumbled before moving over to his cot and sitting on it. A rather awkward silence descended on the hut.
"So, should I call you by your real name or code name?" Jack asked breaking the silence.
"Um, code name," Alex replied.
"Right. Which one?" she asked.
"What?" Alex said confused.
"Do you want me to call you Cub or Double O'Nothing?" she asked a small smile playing on her lips. K-Unit looked at her in surprise; they hadn't thought anyone even knew about the cruel nickname. Alex just rolled his eyes, crossed his arms, and allowed a humorless smile to spread on his face.
"What do you think?" he said. Jack smiled even wider and settled back onto her cot.
"Double O'Nothing it is then," she said. Alex rolled his eyes again before moving to his own cot and facing Jack. "So tell me Nothing, what'd you do today?"
"A swim," he answered and her eyebrows shot up.
"With the lightning?" she asked.
"Did you get electrocuted Cub?" Wolf asked mockingly almost sounding like he wished Alex had gotten fried. Alex shook his head at him.
"No, the Sergeant didn't want MI6 on his case," he said. Fox, Eagle, and Snake, who were still standing side by side, exchanged glances at his sudden forthcomingness.
"Don't say they never protected you," Jack said with a bitter sarcasm. She looked at K-Unit. "Aren't you five supposed to do the training together?"
"In theory," Snake answered. "They make allowances for his age." Alex briefly wondered why they didn't seem to have the hostility they had had with him with Jack. Maybe it was the fact that, even though a woman, Jack was a grown up and not there to train with them. He guessed it also wasn't that much of a humiliation to have a hot American hanging around your Unit.
"So what were you guys doing?" Jack asked and Alex couldn't help but wonder what the hell she was doing.
"We were at the shooting range," Eagle said finally moving to his own cot; Fox and Snake still made no move away from Jack's cot. Jack looked vaguely confused at the answer which in turn only confused K-Unit.
"Someone decided I shouldn't use a gun," Alex said at her questioning look. Jack knew for a fact that Alex could shoot a gun, she'd taught him herself. Jack had grown up with a father and two older brothers who were inner city cops; they'd made sure it was a skill she processed.
"Yeah, I prefer a crowbar myself," she said mock-seriously though Alex was fairly sure he was the only one who caught it. He could tell by the strange looks Jack was getting from K-Unit.
"Are you ever going to tell me why you're here?" Alex asked by way of reply. She'd ignored the question twice now and he was burning to know.
"Yeah, and care to tell us who you are?" Fox said.
"My name's Jack," she told them. "I'm Cub's guardian."
"So can you tell us why the hell he's here?" Wolf asked hoping for a real answer. He didn't get one.
"Nope," Jack said. "Classified." Wolf scowled.
"Jack," Alex said sharply. "Why are you here?'
"To see you silly!" she exclaimed and Alex resisted his urge to punch something. Instead he narrowed his eyes and shook his head.
"I'm serious Jack," he said harshly. He was not in the mood for one of their more complicated conversations. Alex and Jack were notorious for their verbal sparring but Alex's mind was too tired to extensively pick her words apart.
"So am I," she replied, growing serious. "And you better be grateful."
"Why?"
"Well, I'm pretty sure I committed an act of terrorism to get here," she said sheepishly and Eagle's jaw actually dropped in surprise.
"What are you talking about?" Wolf asked pushing himself up and rejoining them. Eagle mimicked his movements. Jack directed her answer to Alex.
"Let's just say that when they cleared his office they missed a rather important something," she said. The cryptic answer did little for K-Unit but Alex had known Jack for half his life and he knew exactly what she was talking about. Utilizing hiding spaces was a Rider family trait. Ian must have stored something that MI6 had missed when they'd raided his home office. Jack, having lived with the Riders for seven years, knew how they thought and where to look. She must have found whatever it was and, knowing MI6 would want it and that it was probably important, had handed it over but not without something in return.
"You blackmailed MI6?" Alex asked shocked at the gall of the American.
"I prefer negotiated," she said.
"Damn, you got one set of stones on you," Eagle said sounding just as shocked but Alex had a feeling he still didn't know what was really going on. Jack just smiled at him.
"And don't you ever forget it," she said.
"You've answered the how but not the why," Alex told her. She leveled her gaze at him, blue eyes piercing brown.
"If you're gonna go through hell, I'm gonna watch," she said. Alex knew it was her way of telling him that she wanted to make sure he made it out in one piece without giving K-Unit anything to jump his shit about. He took her meaning to heart and was silently grateful.
"Oh, thanks," he replied sarcastically.
"Aren't you a loving guardian," Eagle said with a small smile enjoying the show. Alex gave a small snort.
"Please, Jack can barely take care of herself." Jack instantly shot him a look of annoyance.
"You're alive aren't you?" she shot back.
"Yes, but only because I stopped eating your food. That shit's toxic," he said.
"Shut up, Nothing," she replied lamely. Alex caught a few looks of amusement pass between K-Unit. Alex figured that they were thinking that if he couldn't be useful he'd at least keep them entertained.
Dinner that night was interesting. K-Unit and Alex had run seven kilometers before the meal and they were still there before Jack. Ian had often joked that Jack would be late to her own funeral one day. They'd already gotten their food and had sat down when the American made her entrance.
She walked in like she owned the place and effectively ignored the wide mouthed stares the other trainees gave her. Some of them hadn't seen a woman in weeks and Jack knew it and used it. Alex secretly marveled at the American's manipulation abilities. He hadn't thought she could ever pull something like this off and he was impressed.
She sat down directly across from Alex shooting him an amused look at the SAS antics. He managed a half-hearted smirk back before returning his eyes to his food.
A few minutes later one particularly brave soul by the name of Wasp said to Wolf, "What's with the hot sixth?" Wolf glared at the man then shrugged.
"I have no idea," he finally said.
"Damn, first a kid, now a chick," was the reply and Wolf shrugged again. He didn't think anything could surprise him anymore.
"I know what you mean," Eagle piped up. "This has got to be the most unorthodox training yet." Fox and Snake nodded in agreement.
"Could be worse," Wasp said.
"How?" Wolf asked not seeing how this could possibly get worse.
"Well, the fifth's quite and the sixth's hot. Could be a lot worse," the man said with a smile.
"You know," Jack said gaining the attention of the table. "the hot sixth can hear you."
"Good for you sweetheart," Wasp said a little nastily.
"Let me guess, you're codename's 'Pig' right?" she shot back. Alex ducked his head a little lower to hide his smirk.
"What the hell are you even doing here?" Wasp asked suddenly angry. Alex could easily see where this was headed; Jack had a temper and, apparently, so did Wasp. Alex knew if things got out of hand Jack wouldn't hesitate to engage in a physical fight with Wasp, SAS or not. He caught Eagle's eye and silently asked him to stop the oncoming altercation.
"Cool it, Wasp," Eagle snapped then turned to Jack, "You too." Jack shrugged and Wasp turned away. With the crisis averted Alex felt himself relax a little.
"This shit looks like what we used to put in the hog trough back on Aunt Nellie's ranch," Jack suddenly said after a few moments of uneasy silence.
"Jack," Alex said feeling his appetite slip away. "We really don't need that mental image."
"I agree," Eagle said looking at the slop on his tray with renewed disgust before pushing it away altogether.
"It's not my fault it's true," Jack defended.
"Could be worse," Alex said mimicking Wasp's words.
"How?" Eagle asked his tone telling everyone that he expected this to turn into a joke.
"Could be Jack's food," he said before exclaiming, "Ow!" He bent down to rub his shin where she'd kicked him ignoring both her's and K-Unit's smirks. Great, just what he needed, another bruise.