Data's Destiny
One day Riker was being a brat, as usual, only more so, and everyone was getting really ticked off at him.
He was sitting in the command chair when Picard came on to the bridge. Picard barked, "Get out of my chair!" (He was ticked off, too.) Riker stuck his tongue out, and Picard ordered, "Go to your quarters this instant, and think about what you've done! You should probably be court-marshaled for this."
"Fine!" snapped Riker, and he stormed towards the turbolift, slapping Data in the head as he made his exit. Data started to howl. Picard took a meaningful step towards Riker, "Think really hard!" he snarled. Riker then stomped into the 'lift,' and was whisked away, much to the pleasure of everyone on the bridge. Picard then turned to Data, "Shaddup!" he growled, "That behavior is unbecoming of a Starfleet officer, and very un-android like. We will have none of that on the bridge!" Data shut up.
Upon getting off his duty shift, Data decided to check on his cat, Spot, before going to Ten-Fore to spend some time with his best friend and fellow officer, Geordi LaForge.
Meanwhile, Riker was in his quarters sulking; not thinking about what he had done. He just sat and sulked and sulked and sulked! Up on the bridge, everyone was having a really bad day. They all had the distinct feeling that Riker was sulking, and not thinking about what he had done, as Picard had ordered him to.
It was around this time that Q decided to exact revenge on all the inhabitants of the Enterprise for ticking him off, and for being all around "bad" sports when it came time for his little "Fun & Games." (Even if this were not the case, he probably would have sought revenge anyway, just because they were—how dare they be—people!) He decided that he would shrink everybody to a relative height of 41/2 inches. On top of that, he also wanted to make all the animals intelligent. So, he did.
As Data walked down the corridors to his quarters, he began to feel strange. The bulkheads were beginning to look much larger! He shrank and shrank all the way, and as soon as he was through the door, these two huge, furry, yowling things came bounding towards him. It was Spot, and her kitty friend, Mystery.
Spot came up to him, stood on her hind legs, picked him up in her huge paws, and squeezed him against herself saying, "Oh, joy! I've got a little android all my own, and I'm gonna love 'im and hug 'im and pet 'im and squeeze 'im and kiss 'im and hold 'im. Yes I am, George!" Then, on her hind legs, Mystery went up to Spot and asked, "My name's not George, so who the heck are you talking to?"
"George," Spot responded instantly. (Now, neither Data nor Mystery knew who George was, so everybody wondered.) Spot then replicated a small bamboo cage. She put Data in it, gave him food and water, and then went into the next room to chat with Mystery.
Meanwhile, up on the bridge, everyone was very unhappy. Counselor Troi was too busy feeling her own pain to feel and/or care about anyone else's. Geordi was stuck in his chair, because it was too far to jump down, and far too slick to climb down. Dr. Crusher was upset because she, likewise, was stuck, and because of this she couldn't get down to check on her son, Wesley. Worf was boiling mad because he couldn't reach his weapons console, and even if he could, this was not the kind of foe that you could fight. (Not to mention the fact that his phaser was so small that on its maximum setting, it would be almost impossible to kill a common house spider, let alone Q.) Last, and possibly least, Captain Picard was running around in little circles on the floor, ranting and raving about how he couldn't get into his command chair; and if he couldn't get into his command chair, he couldn't possibly command, let alone send a distress signal. So, as you can imagine, he was very mad at Q, at the world, at John the mailman, at everyone! (All this time, Riker was still sitting in his quarters sulking and not thinking about what he'd done, completely oblivious to everything that was going on around him!)
Down in Main Engineering, things were just as bad. Technicians were running to and fro without a clue as to what they should be doing. When shrunk, one young lieutenant up on one of the catwalks above the warp engines fell partway through the grating, but was lucky enough to catch himself before falling to his death. In Sickbay, a similar chaotic scene played itself out. Patients were running about, either on the floor, or up on the diagnostic couches, some causing more injury to themselves than what they had come in to have treated. Medical interns were scrambling about trying to get either to their patients, or, to the nearest exit. It was the same story all throughout the whole ship. In the holodeck, in the labs, in peoples' personal quarters, everywhere; and Q was enjoying every moment of it!
If you'll remember, along with shrinking all the people, Q also made all the animals intelligent. Because of this, all the animals mutinied against the humanoid entities on board the Enterprise, and beamed them to a jungle planet via long range transporter (Including sitting, sulking Riker). This planet had everything they would need to stay alive, but it was so far flung nobody would ever be able to find it again.
Data was the only one left, because Spot and Mystery liked him, and didn't want to indulge in mutinous behavior that might end is his being hurt. So Spot hid him in his little cage in the closet, and locked both the closet door, and the door to his quarters. The two cats then replicated two Type 2 phaser rifles to protect themselves, and Data, against the rest of the marauding animals.
After getting rid of the other people, the animals turned on each other, and fought until only the cats remained. They then formed a mob to go seek out and destroy Data. It was a good thing that Spot and Mystery had replicated phaser rifles, because the Mob was armed only with standard mob equipment, such as: shovels, pickaxes, pitchforks, spears, axes, torches—who knows why—and the like. But, as everyone knows, there is power in numbers.
The Mob went to Data's quarters and demanded that Spot send him out so that they could do away with him. But she refused, saying, "No! I won't do anything to hurt my master. Besides, I still want to love 'im and hug 'im and pet 'im and squeeze 'im and kiss 'im and hold 'im forever and ever. Yes I do, George!" (Of course, now the whole darn Mob wonders who the heck George is!)
Since Spot had refused, the Mob began to surge against the door. They pushed and pushed, until the door finally gave way. The Mob poured in, the hand-to-hand combat began, and the air was thick with flying objects, both sharp and blunt, and phaser fire.
Spot and Mystery fought hard, but they were being pushed back toward the closet, as the Mob had figured out that that was where Data was hidden. As the Mob closed in, Spot muttered something under her breath. All of a sudden, there was a bright flash of light, and out of it shot many smaller bursts. As each cat was hit, it disappeared, and then reappeared in the brig. Finally only Spot, Mystery, and Data remained.
The shimmering glow faded, and there stood in its place a cat, but this was no ordinary cat. It had an iridescent coat and shimmering wings. (Data would also soon observe that when she spoke, which was fairly often, she had a very pronounced Southern Belle accent.)
"Hey there, Honey," she said, talking directly to Spot, "I ain't seen you in a long ol' time!"
"Hello, Georgette," Spot returned happily, "You're right, it has been a long time. I've missed you."
Now it was all becoming clear, to Data at least. When Spot had made references to Georgette, she had, for one reason or another, said the "ette" part so softly that even Data's super-sensitive hearing could not make it audible. What role she played was still unclear, however. Could she possibly be the cat version of a fairy godmother of sorts? Whatever she was, she sure knew how to make an entrance.
"Now, Spot, I know you are gonna hate to hear this, sugar, but I came to kinda restore a lil' ol' bit of order 'round here," she explained soothingly, "I'm afraid that also means I'm gonna hafta restore Data Darlin' to his rightful size."
Even thought Spot had been expecting this, she was still unwilling to give him up. "No, you can't!" she wailed, "'Cause I still want to love 'im and hug 'im and pet 'im and squeeze 'im and kiss 'im and hold 'im. Yes I do, Georgette!" This time, her whole name was quite audible.
Now, Georgette knew for certain that Spot loved Data, and would do her best to take care of him, although there were still serious doubts in her mind as to whether or not Data enjoyed being held, hugged, kissed, petted, and squeezed. No matter what, though, the answer was still, "No."
She then clapped her paws, and Data was once again the correct size. It was not a particularly comfortable restoration, because of the small detail that the three cats forgot. Namely, taking Data out of the cage, first.
After that, Georgette sent the newly jailed cats to an uninhabited world, where they could live out the rest of their days happily, populate the planet, and still be out of everybody's way. Mystery decided that she wanted to go, too, so she and Spot said their good-byes. At the clap of the winged cat's paws, she was whisked away by Magic.
"One wish, Doll," Georgette said, turning to Spot, "Anything you particularly want?"
Spot thought a moment, and then a thrilled look overtook her features. She whispered something in Georgette's ear. Georgette's eyes widened.
"You sho' you want 'That'?" She questioned, "'Cause once it's done, it's done for good!"
"I've never been more sure of anything in my whole entire life!" Spot whispered emphatically, "Please?"
"Alright, Sugar," Georgette agreed, "But I sho' hope you know what you're gettin' yo'self into." She clapped her paws for the fourth time, and with a "So long, ya'll!" she vanished the same way she had come.
The next moment, the same kind of iridescent "bubble" encompassed Spot. When it disappeared, Data's jaw dropped. In his cat's place stood a lovely young woman in her mid- to late twenties. She had silvery hair that brushed her waist, and violet eyes. She was slender and well shaped, and wore a sleeveless floor-length shift. It was made of a shimmering lavender-silver metallic material, and was slit up the sides to knee-length. Around her neck she wore a silver pendent shaped like a sitting cat with large, amethyst eyes. She ran to Data, flung her arms around his neck, and kissed him (He was still slightly in shock). "I love you," she murmured.
Over time, Data grew to love her as well, and they were wed on the holodeck. Data renamed her Kitty, Kat for short. They were the sole occupants of the Enterprise, and as a result, they could spend the rest of Eternity exploring the galaxy together. After many decades they discovered that, like Data, Kat was immortal and would not age, so that they would have Forever to be together in the beauty of deep space.
And they lived happily ever after.
(Q, of course, did not. Not only because he has an extremely unchanging bad attitude, but also because his plan did not work out for his enjoyment. He had sought to make everybody miserable, but instead, he had made two people very, very happy.)
The End