September 13, 2015

"I'm here to see Dr. Fabray, I have an appointment with her."
"Sure. Your name?"

"Berry."
"Berry, what?"
"Oh, Rachel Berry, you may recognize me from..."

She was promptly interrupted by the recepcionist. "Yes, I have Dr. Fabray's schedule and you do have an appointment, please take a seat, she has just received a patient and she's taking a quick break, you're up next Mrs. Berry."

Rachel was almost seated when she heard that annoying 'Mrs'.
"Excuse me." She said, not happy, with sort of a bittersweet smile on her face.

"Yes?" The recepcionist noticed her bittersweet countenance.
"It's Miss Berry, actually."

"Oh. I'm very sorry Miss Berry. The doctor will see you in a bit."

Rachel sat down, mumbling things to herself, low enough so no one else could hear her, quickly dialing a number. "See? I told you, no one recognizes me anymore, I told you." She said, noticeably angry and sad at the same time.

"Wait. I don't understand a single word of what you are saying."

"Oh now I'm speaking Chinese to you Kurt? Is that so?!"
"No hun. Calm down. What I meant was.."
"It doesn't matter what you meant Kurt."

"Hey Rach, calm down. I meant I don't understand what you're talking about. Who's not recognizing you, and what's going on? By the way where are you, I've been trying to reach you all morning but you didn't answer or returned my calls, or emails, nothing. We have..."

"...deadlines, I know Kurt. That's all you've been talking about lately. I know."

As she was speaking to Kurt on the phone, she didn't realize the person she was waiting for was already waiting for her and... also listening to her conversation, very observant.

"Look Kurt..." Rachel raised her eyes and saw Doctor Fabray at the door of her office, she had a very peaceful and gentle look on her face. "...I must hang up now, we talk later."

"You're ready Miss Berry?" She said. To what Rachel only nod, suddenly she was calmer. Well, only a bit, but she was. "Let's go then.

They entered into Doctor Fabray's office. As the door was closed by the soon to be Rachel's psychiatrist, Rachel stood still looking at her.

"Shall we Miss Berry?" Dr. Fabray smiled gently, pointing her the sofa right next to her and also sitting in a white armchair with a few black details.

Rachel sat down, but she continued speechless observing her new Doctor... which kind of alarmed Dr Fabray.

"Do you prefer the chaise longue? Usually my patients prefer the sofa instead of the chaise longue, since it's the first time we meet, but ultimately it is your choice."

"Rachel."
"Excuse me, Miss Berry?"
"Rachel, please, call me Rachel."

"Oh. Of course, if that makes you more comfortable, that's all we want, a safe environment.
Do you want to start now and please tell me what brings you here Rachel? How can I help?"

Rachel looked confused and also shy at some point... she wasn't sure if she could trust this Quinn Fabray, this psychiatrist, she was after all a public figure, a celebrity, or so she thought.

"I'm not sure."

"You're not? Pardon me Rachel but while you were on the phone I sensed some tension in your conversation but mostly on your face, as I feel now to be honest, it isn't good keeping our emotions to ourselves, well at least all of them."

"I know... that's why I came here, because I'm under a lot of pressure actually, but..."
"...but you're going to crack under that amount of pressure at some point, let me help you, let me try to help you."

"I'm a public fi...well, nevermind you surely don't know who I am, nobody does anymore, that's why I came here, I keep trying to convince myself that there's another solution but... there isn't."

"Okay. Well done. That's an advance, Rachel. We've made some progresses, see? You're starting to speak, and as you can see I don't bite." She smiled trying to make Rachel feel at ease.
"I do know who you are, you starred at that Broadway show 'Funny Girl' for quite some time until..." Immediately interrupted by Rachel.

"Until I became totally unprofessional and spit on the plate from which I ate... you may say it."

"I don't know about that, I don't know all the details but we'll work on that sadness and angry you apparently have. May I know the problem you're trying to find a solution to?"

"Doctor Fabray, no one in the business wants to work with me anymore due to the amount of things that led me fired from 'Funny Girl"."

"I'm sure that's not true, you're pretty talented Miss Berry, I've watched you as Fanny."

"It's Rachel, Dr. Fabray. And thanks, I know I am, but I did indeed a lot of awful things... and yes I do have offers from low budget movies that really all they want is to see me naked, with humiliating characters and terrible storylines while they're using what's left of my 'hollywood/ broadway fame', and I'm not down for that."

"I see... proceed please."
"So, my manager with whom I was speaking, Kurt Hummel, is pressuring me with this big offer that would bring back my name to the spotlights." And she lowered her eyes to the carpet kind of ashamed.

"What's the problem Rachel? That seems to be wonderful news, what's wrong with that offer?"

"You see Doctor Fabray... there's a part of my life that almost no one knows... except a few people, which includes Kurt, my manager. And I fear that by saying yes to this movie I may..."

"This is a safe environment Rachel, go ahead."

Rachel was once again staring at Doctor Fabray, she seemed like an angel who fell from the skies just to guide her in this difficult choice, with her perfectly combed hair, a high bun with a white ribbon on it, and a beautiful but simple white dress, sleeveless. Plus her voice was soft, a little bit raspy which kind of made her tremble – she had no idea why – she made her feel safe but also... nervous.

"Rachel? You're there?"
"Yes." She gulped.
"There's nothing you tell me that will leave this room Rachel, well... you didn't murdered no one, did you? Or plan to?"

Rachel frozed but only for a second, she realize it was a joke, and finally for the first time in a long time laughed, not very loud, but laughed.

"I'm glad you are laughing Rachel. Whatever the problem is, whaetever the situation is, and I understand it is your manager we are talking about, you cannot let no one pressure you enough to the point of getting into your mental health, you see what I mean?"

"But this is once in a lifetime opportunity, well at least to me, since my career is about to end if I don't do nothing about it."

"Ok. Then I am here to help you deal with it the best way. Please feel free to let me know what's bothering you."

Rachel's eyes changed direction towards the longue chaise. "I can't tell you this looking at you Doctor Fabray."

"I gather you want to lay down on that longue chaise, is that it?"

Rachel nod.

"Sure. Whatever makes you comfortable and safer, Rachel."

"So. Kurt, my manager and long time friend, he has a major Hollywood studio who wants me to lead or co-lead an upcoming film, and when I say big it will be really big, great cast, the story is good or so it seems... but the counterpart is... my romantic pair... would be... a woman." Upon saying this, Rachel could not stare Dr Fabray in the eyes, she was only staring at the ceiling.

Dramatic pause... no one said a thing for a while, not even Doctor Fabray.

"I shouldn't ask you this Rachel, but I must in order to understand your concerns, are you homophobic Rachel?"

Doctor Fabray trying her best to hide any personal opinion on that subject.

Rachel couldn't answer. Berry was petrified. She left Fabray's office in a hurry without saying a single word.