Author's Notes:Cracktastic crossover between Doctor Who and Supernatural. If you're searching for something with deeper meaning, these are not the droids you're looking for. This is just for the LULZ.
"You do not belong here."
The street had been empty just a moment earlier, until the Dimension Cannon went and hurled Rose into it, nearly pummelling her into a streetlight post. Now she could see by that light that there was yet another person suddenly standing in the street as well, just a few feet from her. The man didn't appear at a run as she had, though. He certainly didn't stumble, either (Rose would have thought she would have got the hang of inter-universal travel by now, but apparently not). He was just suddenly there, looking distinctly dark and broody.
"Is it weird," Rose asked, "that that's one of the warmer welcomes to a new universe I've got so far?"
"You appear to be human," the man remarked, ignoring her comment, "and I get no sense of demon possession, though admittedly my powers are somewhat... transitory lately. Although... you're not a werewolf, are you? There's a similar aura around you."
"You know, people keep sayin' that sort of thing to me. I don't think it means what they think it means."
The man seemed to shrug without moving a muscle. Rose wondered whether he'd teach her that trick. It'd really come in handy, particularly during the many times the Doctor landed them in much-too-tight bondage, presuming she ever managed to get back to him at all.
"Regardless," the man said, "I have enough of my abilities left to tell that you are somehow out of place, as if you don't belong here in this time. Did one of the angels send you here?"
"Whoa, whoa, back up there. What's with these angels and demons you're on about?" Rose asked. "I don't really do those. I'm more an alien person, me. That religious stuff's a bit beyond my pay grade. I mean, yeah, there was that one time that I sorta kinda had power over everythin' a bit like some kinda god, but that was a one-off. And so was that one time with that thing with the devil, I swear."
"You've met Lucifer?" the man asked. Rose would have almost thought he was a little concerned, but there was really no way to tell for sure with him.
Rose shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe. He – it – went by a lot of names. That could've been one of them. I figure it probably wasn't even the devil at all, though. Aliens exaggerate loads, see? You should hear the way my friend goes on about himself. Oh, he says other people come up with those silly little names he keeps throwin' around, but I don't think the Daleks are really the type to imagine up a name like the Oncomin' Storm." Rose squinted at him suspiciously. "Say, have you got some big impressive name or super-secret back-story or somethin'? You seem like the type."
"My name is Castiel. I'm an angel of the Lord."
Rose laughed, delighted. "That's a good one! Nice and original. So does that line come across as impressive enough for you to can pick up chicks or what?"
Castiel looked like he'd bitten into something disgusting. Rose was impressed that she'd actually managed to change his expression. "I do not... 'pick up chicks'," he said.
"Oh, really? You totally could, though, if you wanted to. Here, it's easy, see?"
Rose took two decisive steps forward, leaned in and pressed her lips against Castiel's. Oh, that's nice, she thought before thinking at all became a little difficult. Whatever else he was, angel losing his powers or otherwise, clearly Castiel still had some irrefutable skills.
A few minutes later, she let him fall away from where he'd been pressed up against her body. His expression was back to being strangely unaffected, which was kind of annoying considering how deep his tongue had just been in her mouth. She would've thought that would've earned her a little break in his stoic mask.
"So, that's kissing. That was very interesting," he said. Understatement of the century, thought Rose, still panting slightly.
"You can't seriously tell me you've never done that before," Rose said. "Not when you're that good at it. I mean, don't get a big head about it or anythin'. I'm just sayin'."
"I really haven't done that before," Castiel said. "I'm... not very good with women. Or any humans, I'm told."
"Could've fooled me," Rose said. "And, I mean, it's not as if you're not hot enough and everythin'. For one thing, you've got that deep gravelly sorta voice. Are you just puttin' that on or what? It sounds like you're puttin' it on. And you've also got that sort of Angel look about you, but like the guy off Buffy the Vampire Slayer, not like the ones that hang around naked in the clouds with the little white fluffy wings."
"Those are cupids," Castiel corrected. "Or, at least, the image humans seem to have of cupids, since cupids are, in fact, very different."
"Well, I don't think you're one of them," Rose said. "You don't look all that interested in bringin' love to the whole world and stuff, though I bet you could shoot a mean arrow if you had to. But seriously, you sure you're not actually the vampire kind of Angel or somethin'? I bet it's easy to get that mixed up with a real angel, if you're not careful, what with the immortality and lack of humanity and slight pastiness. That sorta misunderstandin' happens all the time back home. You wouldn't believe how many times we completely got someone's species wrong. Seriously, it's embarassin'."
Castiel gave her a baleful look.
Rose laughed. "Yeah, yeah, all right. I guess you'd know what you are better than anyone, right? I mean, you'd probably have to be pretty thick not to notice an overwhelmin' need to drink blood all the time. So, angel of the lord then. How's that workin' out for you?"
"I would say that I can't complain, but part of my duty is not to lie, however easily the other angels seem to ignore that part at will. I'll admit that life as an angel has not been particularly rewarding as of late. I feel as if I've lost my purpose."
Rose raised her eyebrows. "Oh, well, you wanna new one? Because I've got loads of purpose to spare. There's this great big plan, crossin' universes and savin' everyone in one fell swoop, not to mention gettin' back to my bloke. I might even save another universe or two along the way, if I've got time. Hard to say. There's something of a schedule to keep to. Either way, I could really use an angel by my side for all of that if you wanna come along."
Castiel blinked. "Thank you, but I'm needed here. Or, at least, I'm told that I'm integral to stopping this world from tearing itself apart. If I left, two particularly reckless young human males would be left solely in charge of the fate of the world. I think one of them might be evil. It wouldn't be a good idea."
Rose shrugged. "Probably not, no. All right. No big. Sounds like you've got a purpose after all, even if you maybe don't get to smite people and appear like a glowin' vision to prophets and stuff like angels are technically s'posed to.
"Even if you're not comin' along with me, though, I'll have to be movin' on all the same. This isn't my universe. It'd be cool if stoic-lookin' angels in trench coats existed there, don't get me wrong, but my universe is more of a hyperactive-lookin' Time Lords in trench coats sorta place. I don't think he even knows what 'stoic' is, to be honest. He's got this completely mad smile... D'you ever smile? You don't look like you do. You should."
"No," Castiel said. "Smiling is not one of my talents."
"Oh, go on," Rose coaxed. "Give it a go. It might be like the kissin'. You didn't think you were good at that, either. You might even find you like it."
Long moments passed with Rose looking pointedly expectant. Castiel sighed when it became clear that Rose was willing to wait him out. He dutifully bared his teeth in something that looked more like a grimace.
"Okay, okay, put it away," Rose said quickly. "You're scarin' the children. Or you would be, if there was anyone else around. Even so, kids are probably wakin' up suddenly terrified in their beds without knowin' why. Better to just avoid all that mess, yeah?"
"You're very strange, even for a human," Castiel commented.
Rose grinned. "I'll take that as a compliment."
"For example, how do you come and go instantly like that? I've never seen a human who could do that. Even I'm having trouble with it lately. It could be very a helpful skill to learn."
"Yeah, I can't tell you that," Rose said. "Sorry. Trade secrets. If it got into the wrong hands..."
"And your hands are the right ones?"
"Absolutely," Rose said confidently. "I'm Rose Tyler, Defender of the Earth. It'd be completely counter-productive to try to destroy the place I'm s'posed to be defendin', don't you think?"
Castiel looked as if he had no idea whether he was supposed to be convinced by that. Rose didn't give him time to consider it too closely.
She kissed him on the cheek (partly to distract him and partly just because she could, so why not). "Not that you need the practice or whatever," she said, "but you should really fit some more kissin' into your busy angel schedule. It'll definitely help you lighten up, and trust me, you need that. Maybe don't get too light, though. That smile of yours might just be lethal. Try not to unleash it in public."
She gave him a much less frightening type of smile and then waved. She then pressed the button on her wrist device. The Dimension Cannon dragged her away.
Rose laughed and poked her tongue out slightly as she went. Castiel watched her disappear with no determinable expression on his face. And all was once again right with that universe.
Except for the masses of demons and other things-that-go-bump looking to kill off the human race, obviously. But that was pretty much par for the course at the moment, so they'd just have to deal with it another day.
~FIN~