Hazy, a gakuen alice fanfic

Hazy

By: Pizza Faced Freak

Sometimes I wish I was better. Sometimes I wish could impress and succeed. I wish I wasn't a fuck-up and didn't let everybody down. I wish my body would listen to my head when it screams to move my fucking ass and make something of myself. Or when tears are streaking down my face, I wish.

It's like I'm two different people. The one who wants to succeed and begs, my mind. That pleads for me to just do work and apply, to deal with stuff head on. That part of me is always denied and unheard it screams but nothing comes to action.

The other me, being my body, is the opposite. It denies all the important stuff it hears and suppresses all the pain. It says "Fuck that! Stop worrying and relax, have a smoke." That's the part that happens.

Sometimes I promise myself I'll change and become better and be perfect. That I'll turn everything around and everyone will be so proud. That's bullshit, it never happens, it's just stuff I say to myself to get me to relax, just lies.

I used to believe I'd get famous and make a living doing shit I love. I thought I'd make it big off the band and be like The Beatles and have a life of luxury and die young. Then again I used to think the Tooth Fairy lived under my bed and would rip out my teeth and steal my money when I was asleep too.

The sound of the zip-lock bag opening sounded in my ears contrasting to the screamo and head-thrash behind me. The smell of fresh weed rose in my nostrils; I sighed as I took out a paper roll and started to sprinkle the greenery into it. I rolled up the joint and twisted the ends, taking the bit in my fingers I used the signature pinky-in-the-air hand pose and whipped out my lighter from my back pocket. I flicked on the light and put it to the tip and heard the crackle, I put back my lighter and looked at the joint in my hand.

Taking a sigh, I put it to my lips and sucked in letting the toxin fill my lungs. My eyes closed and I put my head back holding on to the smoke, I released and blew out a puff of weed smoke into the head bangers beside me at the bar. They went on naturally. I took several more long puffs until I felt myself getting high.

My eyes were filling with a dense smoke as I finished my joint. I burned it out into my pants and threw the shit on the floor, I got up and put my weed in my pocket. I walked closer to the stage, and soon to the back entrance for bands only. I didn't look at the guard who knew I was playing tonight, my eys were a little blood shot, I knew.

Once I got inside the crappy cement-walled studio I saw my band-members. I waved at them looking slightly loopy. They got the picture and smiled at me.

"We're almost on." Said Yuu, the drummer.

Yuu was a little nerd, he did everything his parent's told him and was a prime example of excellence. That was until I met him, I met him in central town a couple years back, he was sitting on the bench all proper but his face was contorted with anger. Me, being drunk at the time since it was 11 o'clock, walked over to him and asked him 'Whass ah mattr?'. At this he told me about his parents, and life. I was kinda shocked I mean, I was just some random drunk but I guess it was just good to let it out. I offered him booze and some weed if he wanted, he refused and said he didn't want relief that destroyed his body. With that I offered a position in my band and of course, Yuu had taken drums, oboe, flute, and keyboard for college credits in his spare time and there we have it, I really got too know him over the years. Although I still can't believe a guy like him is okay with me, a future hobo of America.

I grinned and let out a happy "Alrightttt!"

Next to Yuu stood Koko, he played bass and like me he was a stoner. That was basically how we met, I had been at another thrash concert where drugs we're openly accepted. I was in the back room when we met, which was a room particularly dedicated to drugs and alcohol, when I was there I met some crack-head who offered me some coke, now I never really consistently rode on anything besides mary-jane and liquor so I was tempted to try it. I accidently went over board and had to many lines and ended passed out on the couch, I would've ODed if Koko hadn't come in a drunken slur and carried me to the bathroom where he stayed with me and washed up my face and kept me well adjusted. It was two hours before I came out of my sleep, and I still don't know why he did it and I don't think he does either but I was in debt. I offered money and weed but he insisted that he had enough so I threw up another offer and asked if he played any instruments he said Bass and then there was three of us. The band was coming together.

Then only a few months later I bumped into Takashi, I was on my way to a bar after having some rough times when we smacked into each other on the sidewalk. When I met him he was in a business suit and had plenty of papers and looked exhausted, which knocked at my guilt when I made all his contracts fall into a puddle. In his travesty who screamed and sat on the curb holding his head, I went to him and told him I was so sorry and would do whatever I could to repay him. He said he didn't need any payment, he just needed to relax, with that I grinned at him. I took an unsoiled corner of a contract and ripped it off then took a pen from my pocket and wrote my phone number. I looked at him and asked if he played an instrument, he nodded and said the Acoustic and I gave him my number. I told him if he was ready to quit his high-string job and do what he wanted he could give me a call. Four days later I was at a local pub and he called me I picked up and said I had been waiting for his call and the rest was history.

With all the members are band took it off and we all felt like each of us had the band as relief.

The speaker went to the microphone and spoke; WASN'T THAT FUCKING GREAT!? WELL, DON'T GET TO HEAD CRAZY BECAUSE THE BAND WE HAVE NEXT WILL DEFINETLEY SHAKE YOU, NEW TO THE UNDERGROUND HERE IS THE MEDICINE!

The crowd went insane, I looked up form my stool at the bar, nobody ever gets this riled up over a new band, they must be good.

I watched a blonde-haired green-eyed nerd take the drums, a sandy brown-haired boy with dark brown eyes come on with bass, a older red-headed black-eyed guy take an acoustic and a long chestnut-haired and golden-eyed girl take the mic.

The boy's we're clearly popular and I myself hadn't been able to take in all of the girl's beauty even if she was probably stoned.

They began and I listened intently.

A decade ago, I never thought I would be,
At twenty-three, on the verge of spontaneous combustion.
Woe-is-me.
But I guess that it comes with the territory,
An ominous landscape of never-ending calamity.
I need you to hear, I need you to see
That I have had all I can take and
Exploding seems like a definite possibility to me.

The girl started shaking her hair and bouncing up and down, she grabbed her head with her free hand and thrashed with a fed-up expression as she sung. The crowd screamed and followed her.

So pardon me while I burst into flames.
I've had enough of this world and it's people's mindless games.
So pardon me while I burn and rise above the flame.
Pardon me, pardon me... I'll never be the same.

The crowd was going wild and she was making everyone have a rush, I was starting to feel the rush too. She danced around the Bass dude and fell to the ground thrashing under him during his guitar solo. She got back up and went to center stage and jumped.

Not two days ago, I was having a look in a book
And I saw a picture of a guy fried up above his knees.
I said, "I can relate," cause lately I've been thinking of combustion
As a welcomed vacation from the burdens of the planet Earth.
Like gravity, hypocrisy, and the perils of being in 3-D...
And thinking so much differently.

She started flirting with the mosh pit and winked at them, she licked her lips and fell to her knees, throwing her head up and down tossing her hair she sang.

She stood up, and dropped the mic, threw her fingers through her hair and blew a kiss then walked off with the rest of her band, there were rallied screaming and shouting a name,

Mikan? Was that it?

I licked my lips and felt a craving for this girl, Mikan.

I smirked, I have some studying up to do. I looked at the girl on the stool beside me who I had my arm wrapped around. I winked at her and said "Later." I got up and left her astonished, what she think she'd get my phone number just because I just met her and we had sex? Haha, wrong.

Review!!! Asap.

Updating on stories: I'm almost done with another chapter for Lost in Your Heart and I might upload an old story tonight depending on how desperately it needs editing.

Song; "Pardon Me" by Incubus.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gauken Alice, they say it's not for sale. Pshht.

Honorably,

Pizza Faced Freak!