Hi everyone! I was listening to Sleeping At Last's "All Through the Night" around the start of season 2 then I got inspired due to the medbay scene graphics that were released and couldn't get the following scenes out of my head every time I would listen to it again. I had started this the night of ep 8 or 9 but got busy. I finally finished it after the finale. So, I'm sharing it with you. It's super fluffy but hey, we need that after that finale! It was supposed to just be a quick one shot to help get us to season 3 but it got so long I think it will need to be a two-parter. Let me know what you think and what you want to see happen and I'll see what I can do. I hope you enjoy!
All Through The Night
"All through the night, I'll be awake and I'll be with you.
All through the night, this precious time, when time is new.
All, all through the night today, knowing that we feel
the same, without saying, the same without saying
We have no past we won't reach back,
Keep with me forward all through the night."
- All Through The Night, Sleeping At Last
Rachel leaned over her workstation, her head in her hands. Her head ached, her eyes were dry, and her back was tense from endless hours of leaning over her workstation to further develop the contagious version of the cure. However, it was her heart that hurt the most. She'd given up her ethics and her morals and caused what she considered irrevocable damage to the most important relationship she had... even if it was what had to be done. But before she could start feeling sorry for herself for the hundredth time that day, Bertrise burst through the door with wild eyes burning in a face of breathless fury, startling Rachel's ever-present security guard.
"Bertrise?" Rachel barely managed to utter the question before the girl rushed to her and began to speak.
"They're back, Dr. Scott. Doc Rios said they need you on the flight deck now. Someone is injured!" she spoke more quickly than she realized possible.
Rachel was already on her feet with bag in hand as she rushed to the door and through the p-way. Her long hair blew around her face as she moved as fast as her legs could carry her, her guard attempting but failing to keep up with her. A sickening feeling grew in the pit of her stomach with each step.
"Do they know who it is?" she turned her head to speak to her shadow, Bertrise; although her body continued to move forward with the speed only adrenaline can provide in moments of sheer panic.
"No, Dr. Scott," Bertrise shook her head with worry, knowing her mentor's true fear beneath the question even if she would never admit it to either Bertrise or herself.
Rachel turned her head forward and made her way up the stairs with growing purpose. She'd maneuvered these p-ways for months with ease but today's trip to the flight deck felt like an eternity. On the final floor before the deck, the final leg of her journey, she nearly collided with Doc Rios who was also on his way to assess the situation.
"Dr. Scott!" he exclaimed as they walked in tandem toward their destination. "I'm glad Bertrise was able to retrieve you."
"Do they know who?" was all Rachel could utter with breathless worry, hoping the answer would be different this time.
"Unfortunately not. They just said to have a team ready for one injured," he replied with defeat, trying to keep up with Dr. Scott, as the final door swung open and the sun blinded them momentarily until their eyes could make out the commotion on the far side of the deck under the circling blades of the helicopter.
She tried to keep herself under control. She told herself to stay calm but her wide and wandering eyes gave her away. She looked around frantically. Tex's bearded face appeared first, his sad eyes that locked on hers deepened the pit in her stomach. But he wasn't who she was looking for.
Danny's strong frame rose up out of the aircraft next. But his shoulders were slumped over in defeat.
More bodies came onto the deck... Wolf, Miller, Burke... but none of them was who she was looking for and her options were quickly running out.
Suddenly, she saw a makeshift stretcher being lifted gently through the doors. She strained to see the body, to hopefully squelch her worst fears. She didn't wish harm on anyone but it just couldn't be him. Not today. Not with the way they had left things. She still had to talk to him like Tex had encouraged her to. She had to tell him how sorry she was. She needed him to trust her again. She needed him…
However, as the stretcher alighted onto the deck, realization dawned. She would know that blonde-grey hair anywhere.
Her hand flew to her mouth as she gasped a sharp intake of breath. Her fear paralyzed her. She knew she had to help but the implications of what could happen to him startled her. Her mind raced at breakneck pace, thinking of a ship without him. A mission without him was impossible. A life without him now... But she couldn't let herself go there. She did what she did best. She filed her feelings away and finally jolted herself into action.
She made her way toward the stretcher as hastily as she could without showing her emotions to the rest of the crew. But the way she rushed over to him at startling speed did little to hide her feelings. The crew parted for her without a word, understanding both of the reasons she needed to get closest to the captain.
The first thing she saw was his face, ashen white and his sparkling eyes were hidden beneath his limp eyelids. The right side of his forehead was covered in blood. It was the fact that it was dried blood that worried Rachel the most. She prayed it wasn't too late. Her eyes moved down his strong but battered form. She saw the bloody rip in the fabric of his uniform on his abdomen. Danny was now holding a once white cloth over the wound to stop the freely flowing blood but the drenched scarlet fabric made Rachel's heart sink.
"What happened?" she asked urgently with a broken breathlessness as she and Doc Rios took his heartbeat and pulse while the stretcher moved with haste but gingerly across the deck.
"Rogue Immunes..." Tex began, with a shake of his head. "It was a grenade... we thought we were covered. But they had more forces than we thought and we moved to get out. We all got out..." he paused, taking a sharp intake of breath before he continued, "but he was the last one out and he didn't get far enough away... The explosion knocked us all down and he hit his head, hard… Then his wound started bleeding again…" he trailed off, remembering that explosion with pain flooding his eyes. Rachel's heart sank, imagining the scene in her head. She had told him he shouldn't go after the trauma from the oil rig since she hadn't operated yet but he was stubborn as ever, yet again. He just couldn't leave, not before they set things right.
"We have to get him to the sick bay now!" she demanded forcefully, more purpose than ever pushing her forward. But her voice cracking audibly with the emotions that ran across her face. "He's lost so much blood," she whispered to only the other doctor and Bertrise.
"He'll be alright, Dr. Scott. He always is," Bertrise comforted as they made their way below deck.
8:41pm
Four agonizing hours of wound cleaning, stitches, blood transfusions, screaming orders and endless praying felt like an eternity. The operation was finally over but Tom was nowhere near being out of danger yet. His body had been through so much already. He had lost so much blood. Rachel pleaded silently with him to hold on. If anyone could do it, she knew he could but her faith was wavering.
Doc Rios and Dr. Mullowsky were cleaning up the operating table while Rachel finished administering the new IVs to Tom and checked his head and abdomen bandages for the fourth time to make sure they were still clean and secure.
"Dr. Scott," Doc Rios began, fear entered Rachel's body, unsure of what would come next. Doc Rios respected her as a fellow doctor but he was a by the book, Navy man. She hoped he wouldn't send her back to her quarters to continue her house arrest. She knew she deserved it but she would devote her life to proving herself to Tom and earning back his trust so she couldn't leave his side.
"Doc Rios," she responded. "I can take the first watch tonight if you'd like." At first, he looked unsure. But this man knew the depth of Rachel's relationship with the Captain. He had seen the way they'd held each other the day they found the cure. He knew the Captain respected this woman and would do anything to keep her safe, not just for the cure, but because she had become a member of the family of this crew. Even with her house arrest, Rios knew the Captain wouldn't fight her request, and personally he couldn't either.
"Of course, Dr. Scott. We'll go to the mess deck to update the crew then get some rest. Let us know if anything changes." He and the other doctor made their way out of sickbay, leaving Rachel alone with Tom. It was the first time she'd been alone with him since he'd sentenced her. She'd hoped this moment alone would come, but she had never wanted this.
She turned to face his form on the bed, "Come on, Tom," she whispered. "You can't leave us now."
10:59pm
Rachel stood over Tom's unconscious form. He looked so weak. His face was drained of color and drenched in sweat from the fever that had only just begun. She wiped the beads of sweat from his forehead with the cold cloth in her hands over and over. "I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry," she whispered repeatedly. She needed him to be okay. She needed him to wake up so she could set things right.
There were so many things she still had to tell him and she had put it off long enough. Tex had made sure she knew that. But just as they had reboarded the ship after defeating the sub, more Immunes had appeared on land that Tom insisted they eliminate immediately. She hadn't even had a chance to talk to him. She placed the cold cloth on his cheek gently again as she remembered the way he looked at her when she returned to the ship. He stood at attention as his crew came over the decks from the boats. His face serious but she saw his eyes race to find her in the crowd and she saw relief wash over his face that she was alive. Their eyes locked as they had when she had left. They stared at each other for what felt like an eternity but was really only a few seconds. So many emotions were passing through that look. There was still so much unsaid between them. But she was determined not to leave it that way for any longer. She knew behind his position that he cared. He hadn't wanted to punish her but he had to. But she saw that even in his slowly easing anger at her decision, couldn't hide his happiness that she was back on his ship and safe. She needed them to be okay again.
As she leaned closer to him to continue wiping his forehead, she prayed she would get the chance to make things right again.
1:12am
Rachel sat gingerly on the right side of Tom's bed. His fever was still raging and his blood pressure was far too low. She had done all she could and it was up to him now. "I know you're stubborn, Tom. I'm counting on it," she pleaded with him. "You've got to hold on okay? I've still got to tell you I told you so," she tried to laugh, but her nearly crying eyes betrayed her. "Come on, you," she whispered as she brought his hand between her own to rest on her leg. The sobs escaped her now. How had it come to this? Less than a year ago she was living a normal life. Well, as normal of a life as you can live as Dr. Rachel Scott.
Her life was her work. Between class lectures and time in the lab, she didn't have time for anything else and never really wanted to. She had had a boyfriend she... Loved wasn't nearly the right word. Appreciated maybe? Felt comfortable with? He helped make her feel less lonely the almost two times a month she saw him. But no, she'd never allowed herself to be in love. Her parents' relationship had nearly decimated any hope in love she might have felt and her life goal was now to right the wrong he had inflicted upon her mother. Yet now, she was holding vigil by the bed of a man she couldn't picture her new life without because for the first time in her life, Rachel needed someone. And even more so, she wanted to need him. She had needed him to help her find the cure, to keep her safe when so many were after her, and to believe in her when the rest of the world thought she was a quack. Yes... she needed this man who had unwillingly sentenced her to a murder trial but who had and would protect her at all costs, who had held her with so much need in her greatest moment of victory she could barely stand, the man who found her first in a sea of people with a look that could communicate more than words between them, and the man who had promised to go to the ends of the earth to get her a Bengal tiger if that's what she wanted. Rachel had never experienced whatever this was between them. And she couldn't give it up now. The question was, would he?
She was pulled out of her thoughts by the sound of the medbay door opening. She had barely jumped off the bed when Tex appeared through the door. He gave her a sympathetic smile as his eyes glanced down to see the Captain's hand in Rachel's. It was evident in her eyes that she had been crying and she didn't try to hide it from him. She knew Tex understood.
"I heard he was still recovering," he began as he moved toward her. Concern was written all over his face, but not for Tom, for her. He knew how she felt about the Captain. He realized when Rachel killed Neils that he'd always really known where her heart was. He knew how much Tom meant to her the way he'd seen her shut herself in her lab trying to hide her crying face after Tom had sentenced her.
He'd tried to ignore it the night on the Vyneri when she kissed Tom with much more passion than necessary for a simple message passing, a passion that he had obviously returned without a glimmer of hesitation, and the night of the trials he had seen them cling to each other as though their very breaths depended on it from his cot. He knew he would regret never trying so he'd kissed her before he left Granderson's camp in a last attempt but he knew. He knew that sparkle wasn't in her eyes the way it was when she looked at the Captain. The way their eyes always found the other's even amidst all the crew. Or they way they could communicate without a single word in the ward room or on the mess deck. Their bond, the bond of these two people that the fate of the world rested on, was far deeper than anything she could feel for him. And as her friend, he was okay with that. Now, she just needed to realize it too.
"Yes, he's got a nasty fever from the trauma and his blood pressure is still low," Rachel started, pulling him out of his thoughts.
"I came to check on you though," he interrupted with care.
"Tex," Rachel began. "I'm fine," she tried to look convincing but it was impossible to hide her fear.
"I've told you once and I'll tell you again. You're tough and you're ruthless. He's going to be alright if you're the one taking care of him. You're both too stubborn to give up. You'll get a chance to tell him what you need to, just like I said you would."
Her eyes looked up at him wide and pitifully when he said that. She hoped he was right. "How can you be so sure?" she whispered, her walls finally breaking.
"Because you're not the only one who still has things to say," he said with a knowing nod toward the Captain. Rachel wanted to ask what he knew. Had something happened when they had gone back on land to fight the Immunes? But he didn't give her any more information as he continued. "So trust me, he'll be okay. When have you known him to give up when it came to you?" Tex grinned.
"A bit like someone else I know," Rachel smiled for the first time that night.
"What can I say, babe? You're worth it," he winked before turning serious again. "He'll wake up and you'll both be okay again. Better than ever, I'm sure of it. The world can't save itself you know."
"Thank you," Rachel said thoughtfully.
"Let me know if you need anything," Tex said as he squeezed her shoulder and made his way back toward the door. "You know, coffee, food, a back rub, a goodnight kiss…" he said with a raise of his eyebrows. He just couldn't help but tease her.
"Tex!" Rachel exclaimed with mock annoyance.
"I know, I know," he winked before closing the door.
Rachel grinned as she looked back at Tom, feeling more reassurance with her new best friend's words. What a strange turn of events. The man who had pursued her relentlessly and rather annoyingly had become her best friend and the best source of advice on the ship. She hoped he was right. There was so much she needed to set right with Tom… and he needed to fix them too apparently.
3:17 am
Rachel's head rested on her right arm on the bed, her face toward his own. Her hair was falling away across the bed as she rested in the small chair she had pulled up to the edge of Tom's bed. She was exhausted but never let herself fully fall asleep. She couldn't risk something happening and not being able to stop it in time if she wasn't paying attention. Her left hand had maneuvered its way into his right hand and her thumb made constant circles in his palm. Her eyes were droopy but open as she looked toward him, willing him to pull through. She didn't have to say anything, just hearing his slow but steady breathing was enough to comfort her now. He wasn't out of the woods yet but he was getting close. She wouldn't let him give up now. She squeezed his hand tightly before resuming her thumb's soft and comforting circles in his palm.
4:01am
Bertrise opened the door to the sickbay, balancing the two mugs of tea in her hands. Rachel's mother-like qualities had taken over after Tom's surgery and she had insisted Bertrise get sleep immediately. Her protégé, much like her mentor, had barely slept and she knew Dr. Scott wouldn't have slept or eaten either. She knew she would find her by the Captain's bedside.
"Dr. Scott?" Bertrise whispered as she touched Rachel's shoulder gently.
"Tom?" Rachel gasped in confusion as she looked up. "Oh Bertrise. Why aren't you sleeping?" Rachel asked her with a knowing look.
"I thought you might need this," the young girl answered as she handed to tea to Rachel.
"Thank you, darling," Rachel said in a motherly tone before taking a sip of the steaming liquid. "It's exactly what I needed."
"Is he going to be okay?" Bertrise ventured.
"Of course he will," Rachel said with determination as she turned to stare at Tom's sleeping face once again. "You know how strong the Captain is. He's not going down without a fight," she finished, with more of a prayer than complete certainty in her statement. No matter how strong and stubborn he was, the damage the shrapnel had cause, the fight on land, and all that blood loss could bring even the strongest man down. "Shouldn't you try to get some sleep?" she questioned the girl.
"I did. I thought you might need some company," Bertrise responded. Rachel reached for the girl and hugged her tightly.
"Thank you. I would love that," Rachel whispered as the Bertrise moved to find a chair across the bed and smiled at Rachel who's attention had already turned back to Tom, her hand in his as she stared at his face, willing him to wake up.
6:38am
Tom's body stirred in the bed, jolting Rachel out of her nearly sleeping state. She picked her head up from where her face had been resting gently on his hand, feeling his skin against her own. She moved her hand to clasp his hand more tightly as she stood over him to evaluate him.
"Rachel?" he breathed groggily, full of questioning and urgency, his head moving from side to side, his ocean eyes darting back and forth as his eyelids were opening and closing with such effort it looked painful.
"Tom?" Rachel asked, stunned he had spoken. She moved her hand to rub his shoulder, gently to avoid hurting him further but applying enough pressure to let him feel her presence. "Tom, I'm here."
"Rachel..." he breathed again, this time with certainty. "I... I love you," he whispered so softly, his eyes still dancing back and forth but now focused on her. Rachel had to ask herself if she had even heard the words she thought she had. Realization dawned on her slowly as her face dropped but before she could respond his eyes finally closed for good and his breathing steadied. He had fallen back into his deep sleep.
"Tom? Tom!?" she breathed with equal fear and urgency. She hoped he hadn't fallen back into unconsciousness that he couldn't be brought out of. But the words he had muttered needed more explanation. She needed him to wake up.
Bertrise looked up at her mentor. "I can pretend I didn't hear that if you want me to."
Rachel looked up at her after what felt like minutes. Her eyes wide and her mouth still open in shock. "Yes, Bertrise," she began carefully. "I think that would be best. He's just confused. Extreme trauma and medication can cause people to do ridiculous things."
Bertrise looked at Dr. Scott with a knowing look. It wasn't that ridiculous at all and Bertrise knew it. A part of Rachel, deep down and deeply protected, wanted it to be true. But she wouldn't even admit that to herself. "But maybe..." Bertrice began but was interrupted by the return of Dr. Rios.
Rachel was distracted; her arms wrapped their way around her body in an effort to ground her. However, her heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest and it might take her lungs with her. She had to get some air and clear her head. She'd never been able to think clearly in Captain Chandler's presence and her brain was at its foggiest now.
"Oh Doc Rios," Rachel exclaimed, her professional manner taking over. The resilience she used when facing patients in war zones was being used in full force now. "Perfect timing. The medication seems to have taken effect and his fever is finally gone. He's resting comfortably now," she explained. "Will you be here for a bit? He's stabilized now and Bertrise and I need to go check on how the new aerosolized formula is coming along in the lab. I won't be long," she sputtered, trying to get rid of the frantic feeling rising in her chest and her sudden desperate need for fresh air.
"Of course. I'll be here until you get back," he answered, making his way to the machines before making a suggestion. "Dr. Scott, you haven't slept since Captain Chandler returned. That was the day before yesterday. Perhaps you should get some rest."
"I'm fine, really. Thank you," Rachel said shaking her head. She looked at Tom one more time, moving her fingers discreetly to brush over his hand before heading out the door with Bertrise.
Rachel fell against the wall as soon as the door closed behind her. Her knees felt week and she felt light-headed. "Dr. Scott?" Bertrise asked with worry.
"I'm fine, Bertrise," Rachel insisted, waving her off so she didn't worry. "I'll be along in a moment. Go get some breakfast and I'll meet you in the lab," she finished, trying to sound as though she wasn't about to pass out from exhaustion, both physical and emotional.
Bertrise looked uncertain but eventually left, leaving Rachel leaning against the wall with her head in her hands, attempting to steady her breathing.
She let her weight fall to the ground, she was too exhausted to cry but sobs escaped her nevertheless. Her elbows rested on her knees as her head fell into her hands.
Had she really heard what Tom said? He'd suffered head trauma after all. Even if he did say those words, he couldn't have known what he was doing… Could he? Surely he was thinking of Darien. Maybe he didn't even know what he was thinking. But what if he did? That possibility scared her the most.
But he was delirious. Coming down from his fever, the trauma of his injuries. He wouldn't remember. And she would make sure he didn't. She would tell him she was sorry, that she needed them to be normal again, but she wouldn't add to their already delicate situation and confusing situation.
More importantly, even though he was stabilized now, lapsing back would be easy to do. She couldn't leave him for long but she had to clear her head. She wasn't used to these emotions. This is why she compartmentalized, why she couldn't let people get too close.
She pulled herself together as she stood up off the ground. She looked once more toward the medbay door, unwilling to leave him there but she turned and forced herself back to the lab, back to science… her safety net. The place where emotions didn't exist and only reason and logic were supposed to prevail. But the thought of Tom lying injured in that bed… the thought of him saying her name, saying those words, refused to leave her mind.
Hope you enjoyed! More to come soon :)