A ficlet for triskellion in response to a meme on LiveJournal.
Team Bonding
"Team bonding session," Jack O'Neill said with a fair measure of outrage.
"Team bonding session," Samantha Carter repeated flatly, obviously upset as well.
Daniel's voice rose in astonished query, echoing the other two. Teal'c said nothing, but he didn't need to—his raised eyebrow spoke for him.
"People, I know you don't like it, but after SG-13's … incident last Friday, those in the Pentagon thought that the teams needed to be cohesive teams and sent these people to help with team building activities," General Hammond explained calmly.
"Fer cryin' out loud," Jack said, hand sweeping back through his hair. "So all those times in the field …"
"The training sessions here at the SGC …" Sam continued when Jack trailed off.
"The barbeques off base!" Daniel added.
Teal'c raised his eyebrow higher.
"I'm sorry, people … there's nothing I can do." Hammond walked away, leaving SG-1 standing there aghast.
"Sir, he can't be serious!" Sam said.
"Jack, they can't expect us to …"
"SG-1," a whiny, grating voice called out, interrupting what had been about to be a legendary bout of complaining.
"What?" Jack snapped, turning to find a small little man in an ill-fitting suit with thinning hair and glasses that made him look like a mole.
"Come this way, your session is due to start."
SG-1 followed him reluctantly, Sam and Daniel trading sulky glances, Jack glaring up a storm, and Teal'c practically brooding behind them.
They ended up in a conference room, and the weedy little man gestured at them to sit. For a moment, they pondered not doing so, but one by one they sat, staring stonily.
They never really started to listen as he prattled on about the importance of teamwork, what a team should be like, blah blah blah. Daniel's eyes grew glazed within a minute, which was particularly impressive, as Jack hadn't thought there was anything that could bore Daniel.
It took all of five minutes before the team started exchanging glances. Jack started the note passing, which the horrid little man quickly ended. The subsequent sulking didn't last long.
Teal'c interrupted the man by speaking. "This is team building session, is it not?" he inquired, looking back at the human members of his team. The strange little man's brow furrowed as he nodded. "Then I would suggest we do some team building."
Jack grinned gleefully, Sam rubbed her hands together, and Daniel laughed out loud, and they all turned their gazes on their torturer, who gulped with sudden nerves.
Ten minutes later they were walking down the hallway, clapping each other's shoulders in congratulations. Behind them, in the conference room, their tormentor struggled in his new bonds and tried to yell through his gag, to no avail.
"Good team work, SG-1," Jack said. "I think today was quite a success."