As far as Clay Jensen was concerned, Montgomery de la Cruz was the biggest dickhead in the school now Bryce had gone. He had proof. Next to Bryce Walker, Monty was the most twisted little shit Clay had ever laid his eyes on. Justin had told him a bit about Monty and from what he had heard elsewhere, Clay worked out that he was pretty similar to Justin. With both of them coming from the same type of background and both of them being 'helped' by Bryce, if helped was the right word for it. He supposed, if Bryce hadn't of found him, Montgomery de la Cruz might have turned out relatively decent. But there was no way he could give Monty the benefit of the doubt. Not after he found out what Monty had done to Tyler. Which is why Clay was suspended for 2 weeks after, with the help of Tony and Zach [Justin had been at home ill], he'd slammed Monty in to a locker, punched him in the face and kicked the shit out of him. Monty had got off easily, a few bruised ribs, black eye and a fractured wrist was nothing compared to what he'd put others through.
"Clay, why did you do that to Montgomery?" his mom questioned taking a seat at the kitchen table.
Clay was reminded of the last time he had sat there, his parents shouting at him about the boy they had recently adopted. He remembered being told to go to his room, like he was 10 years old again, he remembered passing Justin on the stairs, too blinded by his anger to think about how the argument might have affected him. And it did. When Clay realised Justin had gone he'd gone in to full-on panic mode for a couple of hours before deciding that the best thing to was, for the hurt and destruction he had caused, to kill Bryce Walker. Clay had texted Justin as a last-minute thought, desperately hoping that Justin would help him. My God, was he thankful when he'd turned up. Who knows what would have happened if he hadn't. To be honest, Clay would probably be one of two things:
Dead.
Or.
In Jail.
"Clay, CLAY JENSEN ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME!" his mom snapped waving one of her hands in front of Clay's face to get his attention.
"Uh, yeah, um can't tell you, not my secret to tell" Clay muttered shoving his hands in his pockets and staring down at the table to avoid his mom's gaze.
"So, you hurt someone for no reason and get suspended, but you can't tell me why? For god's sake Clay. What is going on!" she got up, sighing and went over to where he was sat.
Clay crossed his arms and lay his head on the table. The cool wooden surface helped to lessen the headache that was starting to form. He heard his mom sigh impatiently, waiting for his answer. Well Clay wasn't going to give her one. At least, not the one she wanted.
"Like I said, it's not my fucking secret to tell!" his voice was slightly muffled by the table.
"Then who's secret is it Clay, you can tell me that" Clay could tell she was getting pissed off. Her voice was strained and he realised it had raised an octave.
Clay was certain the only reason she wasn't screaming the house down was because she didn't want to freak Justin out. All of the Jensen's had experience first hand what happened when Justin heard shouting. On a good day he would flinch a little, maybe go see what was going on if it didn't involve him, out of habit more than anything. But, on a bad day, Clay didn't even want to think about it. On a bad day, Clay would go into Justin's room after an argument with his parents and find him sat, back against the wall, knees curled up, hands out in front of him, mumbling ''sorry' or 'please stop' under his breath.
Clay had felt sorry for more people in the past year than he had the rest of his life. Hannah, Jessica, Alex, Justin and now Tyler Down. It was that punk guy Cyrus that had told him what Monty did to Tyler for some reason. What the fuck was wrong with his school. 4 PEOPLE HAD BEEN RAPED, that he knew of, and almost nothing had been done. He was shocked to say the least and, at first, he didn't believe it. But then Tyler's actions at the prom night made more sense. Why had he acted so irrationally, so dangerously? Clay had managed to evade the cops that night through sheer dumb luck. And after spending a few days trying to come up with a plan, Clay did the only rational thing he could think of. He told Tony that Monty de la dickhead needed sorting out. He didn't tell him why but Tony hadn't cared, after Monty had called him a 'fag', he wouldn't've missed an opportunity like that. Zach must've overheard them talking because, the next thing Clay knew, he was offering to help, to punch him a couple of times, which Clay had gladly excepted.
Unfortunately, some teacher had looked out of their classroom at the wrong moment. And, before any of them could do anything, a hand had wrapped around the back of his t-shirt pulling him away from where Monty lay. He, along with Tony and Zach, were sent to the Principal. Because Clay had 'orchestrated the fight' and was the 'ringleader' Principal Bolan had decided to give him a two-week suspension. Tony and Zach had faired slightly better, 2 days suspension and a week of detention. Monty, in Clay's opinion, had it easy. All he got was a few cracked ribs, sprained wrist and a black eye. Probably a fucking lollipop from the nurse for being so good as well.
"Clay, tell me why you got suspended" his mom said "there must be a reason".
Clay looked up at her, frowning. Was she deaf? Did she not hear him? Did his mom not understand the words 'it's not my secret to tell'?
Clay ignored her, scraping his chair back and going to stand up. Clay felt a hand on his arm and turned his head. His mom was glaring at him, a mix of disapproval and sadness etched on her face.
"Fine" she sighed getting up and moving to the kitchen "just so you know" she said "you're grounded".
"What the fuck mom, now what are you gonna tell me to get to my room?" Clay snapped, he couldn't believe what he was hearing.
His mom merely nodded, waving a hand lazily in the direction of his bedroom. Clay groaned. So what, he had been suspended before, why did it matter so much this time? She probably thought it was something to do with Hannah Baker or some shit but, for once, she was wrong. This was nothing to do with Hannah, for once. But, no matter what his mom did, or threatened to do, he would never ever tell anyone about what happened to Tyler, not without his consent.
He stomped up to his room, over exaggerating his steps, hoping his mom would catch on that he was pissed off. He passed Justin's door, which surprisingly, was slightly ajar.
"Weird" Clay thought. Justin never had his door open. No matter where his was going, he always shut it behind him. Clay didn't ask why. Maybe it was just an odd thing that he did.
He knew Justin was in there, he hadn't heard him walking around the house, so he placed his hand on the door handle. Quietly, in case he was asleep and pulled it to. Then he carried on walking towards his own room, tiptoeing this time not sure if Justin was sleeping or not. When he finally made it to his room, being quiet all but forgotten, he slammed his bedroom door, tears creeping in to the corners of his vision. He brought his hands up to his eyes and wiped them away furiously. He was angry, at himself for deciding to get in a fight, at his mom for grounding him, at the world for being so fucked up. Clay shoved his desk up against the door to stop his mom, or his dad when he came home, from barging in unannounced. He grabbed a book and launched it at the wall. The book hit its mark and fell on to his bed. He stormed over to where it had landed and chucked it on the ground. Clay sat on his bed, hands clenched, nails digging in to his palms. He was breathing hard, struggling to focus on anything. The room spun. He felt dizzy, tired, fed up with everything. Nothing was fair anymore, if it ever was, ever since Hannah Baker's suicide, the tapes, the 13 reasons' why and whatever else had gone on since then. People like Bryce Walker and Montgomery de la Cruz deserved to burn in the fiery pits of hell, but nothing would be done, sure Jessica had told her story to the court, that took a lot of courage, but Hannah was dead and Tyler and Chloe had been assaulted as well, all of them in ways people shouldn't think off, shouldn't even know. Clay couldn't breathe. His hands found their way to his head and were yanking at his hair. He had started, he realised, rocking, back-and-forth and back-and-forth, subconsciously.
All of a sudden, he heard a quiet knock on his door. It was his mom probably. He opened his mouth, ready to tell her to 'fuck off' or 'go away', which ever would get her more annoyed at him because, at this moment in time, he didn't care if he got on fucking Satan's nerves.
"Clay, can I come in?".
It was Justin. Clay groaned. His mom had probably sent him there to calm him down before she talked to him.
"No, go the fuck away Foley" he cursed himself as he heard his voice shake slightly.
"I'm coming in" he said, ignoring Clay completely and forcing himself up against the door. "Jesus Christ Clay, why the hell can't I get in?" he sounded like he was panicking.
Clay heard Justin ram himself in to the door. Once. Twice. Three times. Until Clay finally, feeling sorry for him, gave himself a quick pep talk and pulled the desk away. Justin flung open the door and rushed in to his room. Clay was startled. The last time Clay had seen Justin look this... distraught, was when he had been stood on that stand telling people what happened that night with Bryce and Jessica.
"Woah, calm down Justin" Clay laughed nervously, running his hands through his hair.
"CALM DOWN, YOU LOCKED YOURSELF IN YOUR ROOM, YOU WOULD'NT ANSWER ME FOR GOD'S SAKE… I thought you'd" he trailed off awkwardly.
Clay was stunned. Had Justin actually thought he would do that? He would never. But then he remembered Bryce's house. How he'd pointed that gun at his head, how all he could hear was Hannah's voice droning on and on and on. He'd wanted her to shut up and quit messing up his head. For everything to just stop, just for a second. Maybe, maybe Justin had a… no he wasn't going to say that Justin had a point. Hannah wasn't there anymore, he was fine, completely fine, perfectly…fine.
No, he wasn't. Anyone could see that.
Then, as if someone had fired an arrow straight in to his brain, Clay broke down.
Tears ran down his cheeks, he pulled at his hair, shaking vehemently.
"I can't Justin, I can't do this, I've just been suspended for punching a dickhead that deserved everything he got, and more" Clay's voice got louder and louder, cracking and wavering.
Through his blurred vison he could see Justin take a breath and steel himself. Then he walked slowly over to Clay and sat next to him. Clay thought back to the time when Justin freaked out. The 2nd or 3rd day he stayed over. Clay had comforted him, slept on his floor to make sure he was okay.
Justin placed his hand on Clay's arm.
"I'm not sure how to do this" he muttered to himself, Clay almost smiled at that.
"Um, Clay, e-everything will be ok, what happened, h-how did you get suspended I mean?" Justin lowered his voice, still unsure on what to do.
"No, it fucking won't Justin, you don't understand, Monty is a scumbag who, who deserves to, to DIE" he said in one breath.
"Tell me" he asked softly "if you want that is".
Clay shook his head repeating the 'it's not my secret to tell' mantra for the gazillionth time today. Instead of pestering Clay, Justin nodding, accepting that he wasn't going to find out, not today at least.
"Ok, that's fine to" Justin paused "if you're sure you don't want to tell me?".
Clay nodded again, leaning back against the wall, motioning for Justin to join him. He complied.
They sat in a comfortable silence for a couple of minutes before Justin nudged Clay and brought out his phone and a pair of earphones.
"Music" Justin questioned, tapping in the passcode and offering it to Clay.
Clay took it from his outstretched hand and opened up Spotify.
"Any requests?" Clay said, looking over at Justin who had one earphone already in his ear and his eyes closed.
"Nah, you pick something, not fussed" he replied.
He returned to the phone scrolling past pop songs, old songs and even the odd musical until he found the right one.
So, the two boys, brothers sat, backs against Clay's bedroom listening to 'The Night We Met' as it played quietly through their earphones, eyes closed, as happy as someone could be in their position and relaxed.
It didn't matter that in 2 days, Justin would be suspended for a week after hearing Monty say Clay was a 'crazy psychopath' They would get through it. Jessica, Tyler, Cyrus, Sheri, Zach, Alex, Tony, Courtney, Ryan, Justin and Clay.