AN- hey everyone! Jade here! Right, I'm trying my hand at a proper/random/stupidly funny story so please go easy on me. I don't really care if you give me flames because it will not faze me so don't waste your time.
Anyway, this is an idea I've seen quite a lot and I've had some ideas for it so I decided to write my own version! It will most probably be stupid/random/funny/insane but that's just me!
Please read and review, it will touch my heart!!
Disclaimer- I don't own Twilight, but I do own a very stupid Mike Newton!
Chapter 1-Suck You're Blood
Dear my very secret, secret diary of manliness,
OMC!!! Bella said 'hi' to me today AND SMILED at me *swoon* anyways, I'm going over to the Cullen house to tell them to give me my dear Bella or I'll…I'll suck their blood!! Yeah! Mwahahahahahaaaaa!!!
-Mike, the manliest man known to man
--At the Cullen House—
I got out off my 'Mike-Bike' (I had gotten it to impress Bella) and went up the fancy porch steps and knocked on the posh-looking front door.
The door opened after the first knock and the body-builder guy, Emmett looked down at me, a wide, toothy grin on his face. Uh-oh…I'd wanted Edward to open the door so I could confront him. But, I was going to be a man (not that I wasn't because hello, I was MIKE!) and be brave and awesome to impress Bella who was probably here.
"Err…give me my Bella!" I declared. Huh…my voice sounded a little squeaky.
Emmett's grin widened as he looked me up and down before saying, "what, no hug?"
I stared at him, mouth open as he took me into his huge arms and gave me a bone crushing hug.
"OMC! Emmett you're gay!!" screamed the little pixie-like Cullen.
I gaped at her before pushing Emmett away.
"What?! No, it's not what it looks like!" I said frantically as the blonde one, Rosalie, came and stood next to Emmett glaring at me.
Emmett looked horrified and Edward came to stand next to him. I glared at him.
"What are you doing here?!" I said fiercely. I was brave and confident! I was Super Mike-
"I live here," Edward said smirking.
I gritted my teeth as Jasper, the emo one, came and stood next to his 'siblings'.
"Someone's feeling jealous," I thought I heard him mutter under his breath.
"Give me Bella or I'll…I'll…I'll suck your blood!" I screeched like a whiny five-year-old girl PMSing… (Actually, I don't even know what age girls get 'that time of month'…).
They all gaped at me and Bella who had magically appeared from the end of the rainbow said, "LE GASP! OMC!! QUICK, HE KNOWS! THROW HIM TO THE VOLTURI EDDIE-KINZ!"
I stared at her while Alice, the pixie one screamed, "Nooooooo, give him to the leprechauns that live at the bottom of the garden!" before she literally picked me up, practically flew to the bottom of the garden and threw me to the…leprechauns…
Dear my very secret, secret diary of manliness,
I managed to escape the leprechauns somehow and tomorrow, I'm planning my revenge!! Toodles!!
-Mike, the manliest man known to man.
AN- so how was it (other than stupid/slightly insane)?! I am dying to hear your responses so please review! I want to know if I should carry on this story, I already have the next few chapters done!
Thanks for reading and please review,
~Jade