If it seems like it doesn't make any sense, it's because it doesn't and I wasn't even trying to make it so. I'm sure there are those who know Torchwood much better than I who have shitty things to say about this. But whatever. I'll go crawl in a hole now and wait out this ridiculous infatuation.
He's there when she emerges from the hospital with fresh tears on her face. There, standing by the railing like he's waiting for someone. He's striking in his long coat, so different from everyone around him. She catches his gaze for a moment before hurrying away, away from the prying eyes of strangers and onlookers.
He's there again on the Cerberus base. She's panting, covered in blood and angry. In her haste, she pauses for just a moment when she swears she sees the reflection of a man wearing a long coat in the glass. When she turns around, he's nowhere to be found.
The third time she sees him she swears she must be going mad. In the war torn streets of London he makes her hesitate, his silhouette visible just beyond the debris in the ruined street for just a moment. She shakes her head. No time for this now. It's almost over, she's almost there.
He's the last thing she sees before she dies. Clearing the rubble from her face, he settles down beside her, holds her close. He's not real, she reasons, but he feels so real. So warm and solid and real. Her eyes water as she looks at him and tries to speak. He lays a finger over her lips.
"I know," he whispers softly.
And he does know. Knows everything about her and hates that it all falls on her shoulders. That she has to die here, scared and alone. It's why he's here. Grief, anxiety, empathy flood his emotions. He cries for her. Wants to tell her she's going to a better place but he knows. There's nothing. No sea to cross. No distant shore of the infinite spirit. Nothing. And as she breathes her last breath in his arms he weeps, shudders and shakes until his head throbs and his throat is sore. She's gone. Another beautiful life extinguished.
Eventually he stills, calms himself. Digs her lifeless body out of the wreckage and carries her to where he knows they will find her. Pressing a kiss to her forehead, he walks away. Another life, another day. The world dies around him and he is alone again.