Andrea had tried to keep a brave face for the entire time she was in the murder room, listening to Provenza wax poetic about all they had lost and all that remained. It had seemed so crass to look over at Sharon's office and see that the only reminder of her that was there was the bouquet of red roses someone had left there in her memory. Even looking at Rusty was enough to fill her mouth with acid, and she touched her stomach lightly as she willed herself to keep from throwing up.

"Excuse me," she finally murmured as she turned and made her way out of the murder room, hurrying down the hall to the restroom and flinging herself inside the first stall, barely managing to lock herself in a stall before sinking down onto the toilet and sucking in deep breaths in an effort to keep from giving in to the urge to throw up. "This is not what you wanted, Sharon, no matter what Provenza might say. No matter what I said. Oh, god, I miss you," she whimpered as she screwed her eyes shut.

Finally, she managed to calm herself down a little before she stood and exited the stall, slowly making her way over to the sink. It was hard to look at her reflection, because the only thing Andrea could focus on when she met her gaze in the mirror was how sad she looked. Even one of the lawyers she was constantly up against had mentioned how depressing it was to look at her in the courtroom, which meant that she hadn't been as capable at keeping her mask in place as she had thought.

Sighing, she turned on the water and splashed a little on her face, not wanting her makeup to run, since that would just let everyone know that she was upset. Taking a deep breath, she flicked off a few remaining droplets of water before taking another look at her reflection in the mirror. Her cheeks were no longer quite so red, thanks to the cold water, though her eyes were still sad. Knowing that she couldn't hide out for much longer, that Amy might come in at any moment and she didn't want that, Andrea squared her shoulders and briskly made her way out of the restroom.

She nearly made it onto the elevators unseen, only to bump into Chief Mason as he exited from the car. Stepping back a little, Andrea wobbled on her feet and he reached out to steady her, his large hands closing around her elbows as he looked intently into her eyes. "Are you all right, Andrea?"

Andrea started a little to hear him address her by her first name, and it took her an extra second to nod. "I'm fine. It was just a really difficult day, since it almost felt like everyone was saying goodbye to Sharon once more."

She didn't know why she was being so open with him, but from the knowing look that he gave her, she thought she had perhaps made the right choice. Still holding onto her elbow, he guided her onto the elevator, closing the doors before pressing the emergency stop button. "This will give us a few moments of privacy. Andrea, it's okay to not be okay. And I don't think that Sharon's presence will ever truly be gone from that murder room. Not as long as everyone is still there."

"And that is what I'm afraid of, Leo. A part of me needs to move on, to let the past stay in the past, because I don't know if I can continue walking in here and being reminded of her in ways that I would wish were not there."

"You loved her."

Andrea looked into his all too kind eyes and gave a small nod as she pursed her lips together. "Andy can't ever know, but I did. She was trying to set me up with you."

"Are you not out, then?"

"No. It's difficult enough to do my job, I didn't need another stumbling block. I'm trusting your discretion here, Leo."

He nodded before sweeping his hand up to rest on her shoulder, his eyes never leaving her face. "I assure you, your trust is not misplaced. And Sharon may have had good taste, but she didn't exactly have the best luck at reading people. You're not the only one who is professionally closeted."

A small bubble of laughter escaped her lips, but it sounded more like a choked sob by the time it reached the air, and then he was pulling her into a tight hug, letting her cry for a few moments before she pushed away from him once more. "You, you have a good day," she said before patting his chest lightly.

"I'll try, Andrea. And if you ever need to a shoulder to lean on, don't hesitate to call on me. And if people get the wrong idea, at least we can cover for each other, right?"

"Right." She wasn't surprised when he brushed away a few tears from her cheeks, and the tender touch made her sigh a little. "Let me go before I start sobbing again. Please."

"Of course." He stepped away from her and pressed the ground floor button. By the time they reached it, she had managed to put herself back together and Leo gave her a small thumbs up before pressing the button for his floor as she exited the car. It was so good to know that they were partners of the same club, but it did little to alleviate the overwhelming sense of sadness that had captured her heart so completely that afternoon.

Trudging over to her car, Andrea slipped behind the wheel and began the long drive home, ignoring the sound of her phone buzzing in her purse as she went, not wanting to deal with whoever was trying to get ahold of her. The drive home passed by in a blur as she allowed muscle memory to take over her consciousness as she thought about everything she had been through lately. It was only when she pulled into her garage that she came to her senses, and she took a deep breath as she unbuckled her seatbelt and climbed from the vehicle.

Slowly, she made her way inside, dropping her keys and purse onto a counter in the kitchen before nabbing a bottle of shiraz and the corkscrew and making her way into the living room. She knew it wasn't a smart choice, but nothing else would quiet the demons clawing at her heart that evening. Thumping down onto the sofa, Andrea quickly opened the bottle and took a long swig from it, the heavy taste coating her tongue as she gazed out the window.

After another long drink, Andrea set the bottle on the coffee table, picking up the manila envelope that Andy had given her a few days ago. He hadn't said what was inside, but she had a good idea what was inside. Her hands actually shook as she peeled open the flap, letting the 8x10 inside slide out onto her lap.

Sharon's smiling face was the only thing that she could focus on. She looked radiantly happy, her veil framing her face in a way that made her look purely angelic, and Andrea let out a hiccup of a sigh before starting to cry again, holding the picture close to her chest as she fell back on the sofa, staring up at the ceiling as she fought to keep the sorrow from swallowing her up once more. She knew, at some point, she would have to move beyond the guilt and the sadness that consumed so much of her energy at the moment, but it seemed like tonight would not be that night.