Harry's letters

by Darkness will

The trials soon started after the war. While in Draco Malfoy's trial, he noticed someone from his past but this time he really pays attention to him. This unleashes Harry's desire to write him letters that of course he would never give them to him. Smut eventually

1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1. First letters

Here's the thing, the very first time I recall seeing you was on Malfoys trial, you and your friends were sitting, listening, worrying; but you, you looked calm, and bored in some sort of way. I remembered you from our days at Hogwarts obviously, but I never gave a thought about you, you just were Malfoys friend, you were quiet and easily to blend in, so probably that's why I never stopped to give you a second glance. My quarrel was with him (Malfoy) not you or any of his friends.

But there you were, sitting between Parkinson and Zabini, both were frightened but you looked different, you looked so calm like you wanted to everything to be over, like you had already accepted your fate. At difference of Parkinson, Zabini, Greengrass or Bullstrode, you did have a past and a Dark Mark to be condemned and yet you were so peaceful, even hearing of Malfoy's relationship with Hermione Granger didn't shake you.

Yeah, that's the first time I really saw you.

Harry Potter was and would ever be: The Chosen One, if you would ask him he'll probably say he didn't chose it, but he took it and made it even greater than any other person could've done it. He knew he was a celebrity in the wizarding world, and yet he was so humble, always trying to hide from the public eye but never able to do it, that's why from time to time he "escaped" to muggle London where he never thought found him there.

Theo Nott was the only child from the Nott family, his mother died probably giving birth to him, so from the very beginning he was alone with Theodore Nott Senior, not the most pleasant man in the world. At such a young age Theo learnt to become invisible, always hiding from the light, he was quieter than his friends yet all he wanted was to have a normal life that's why he spent most of his time of in his old house or in muggle London. That's where he found him.

Harry Potter and Theo Nott became some sort of drink buddies, first it was whenever they found each other in the same pub, then they began invite -if you can call it invitation to that- each other to different pub to keep it interesting, after almost three months Harry invited Theo to his office but he declined more times than Harry cared to count. "what would your auror mates would say?" Theo had asked every single time. "I really don't care" Harry responded every time until last time

"suit yourself, whether you want or not, it doesn't matter anymore" Harry said before standing up to leave.

"Wait, Potter" Theo said standing up too "you don't have to get your knickers all twisted, do you?"

"What do you want then?" asked Harry without turning to look at him

"I just can't come to your office, but if you put the wards down for me I can apparate there without putting your reputation on the line"

"fine" Harry said taking out of his coat some bills to pay for their drinks "I can do that"

"fine" Theo accepted

Harry learnt that Theo wasn't too much talkative, he communicated through glances and touches, his language was more of body language than anything probably that came from his childhood in hands of that horrible being he used to call father. And whenever Theo spoke his voice was low almost as if he didn't want to be heard.

Yes, indeed their friendship was an odd one not even Harry Potter's best friends knew about it, he liked the secrecy the calm, the tranquillity Theo's friendship contributed. And probably Theo felt the same at least Harry imagined.

"this is a nice office" said Theo when he arrived some time the next week "not bad for head auror"

"thanks" Harry said not glancing up "although is to big just for me"

"your H.e.a.d auror, I believe you can give yourself the benefit" Theo sat down in the sofa in the opposite side of the office "if I would've know you had such a nice couch Potter I probably would come here sooner"

"Mhmmm probably, but I'm not Head Auror, just yet" managed to answer Harry "Nott you could've notified before, you decided to come the very day I am swamp with paperwork"

"yeah, I'm not like that" Theo put a glass of Ogden's finest in Harry's desk

"fine, I can take a break"

Both sat on the couch in comfortable silence, that's what they do, just drink together. The first time they realized they were comfortable with each other presence was that very day they found for the first time in that muggle pub.

-flashback-

"weird seeing you here" said Harry sitting next to Theo at the bar

"you don't know me" Theo said turning around in his stool

"yeah, I do. Your Theo Nott, friends with Draco Malfoy" at this Theo turned again slowly "it's weird seeing you here specially because you are one of the Sacred Twenty-eight"

"that was my father, not me" Harry laughed after this connotation

"right, well it is weird and nice though"

"I have no much of a choice" Theo said after a while "I'm a pariah"

- end flashback-

Theo learnt not that long-ago Harry Potter wasn't the person he thought he would be, he was nice sometimes almost too nice, soft and yet tough when he had to, he knew how to project himself like making himself bigger specially when he was on duty -after all, he was an auror- he was disciplined and tidy, probably an aftereffect of having to live with those horrible muggles. Theo searched them after the fourth of fifth time they met in pub. The woman was so thin and her nose so pointy, the man was so fat and that moustache, then there was the other man that Theo could only assumed was Potter's cousin so round, the three muggles didn't seem to talk to each other only the woman looked from time to time to both men so adoringly, at single glance he thought they were good people and a nice family until he couldn't find any relation to Harry Potter, not a picture or anything related to him. In fact, he tried to remember Potter speaking of his family, he only talked -if they talked at all- about his job, a friend, and probably Weasley family.

"this was a good choice, Nott" said Harry making Theo abandon his own thoughts "thanks for the break, I needed it"

"Potter, where is your family?" asked Theo out of the blue

"they there are" Harry said pointed to a pictured of the Weasley family with Hermione and him at Bill and Fleurs wedding

"And the muggles?" he asked searching for another picture

"There isn't one" harry said with his hands in his pockets standing behind Theo "a picture, I mean. They cared of me until the beginning of our third year, although cared for me is much of a stretch, they kept me alive, let just say"

Theo was frozen in its place, probably he exceeded his friendship with harry and yet he wanted to know more.

"what are you working on?" Theo decided to chance de subject

"oh, mmm apparently some financial fraud"

"sounds cool" he didn't believe even himself

"really? You do?" ask Harry turning to look directly at him arching a brow

"no, not really" admitted Theo after a while "actually sounds fucking exhausting"

"it is, actually" accepted Harry looking at all the papers on his desk "but someone has to do it"

"lucky is you, our protector to save the day" Theo said without thinking "sorry, I shouldn't have said that"

"no, you shouldn't. But mostly because you don't feel it"

"what I don't feel?" attacked Theo somewhat angry, although he didn't understand why

"you don't see me as the Chosen one, as the protector of the wizarding world" Harry said nonchalantly "even though I don't know how you see me, but outside some small circle of people near me, you don't think of me as the boy who live"

"right" agreed Theo, maybe it was because the liquor gave him some sort liquid courage, but he added "you're right I don't see you as a hero, you were a boy when the wizarding world decided to force upon you that title, it must be difficult for you and yet you accepted that's moronic if you ask me…. I just, I just see you as someone I can't stop thinking of, quite annoying …so fucking annoying"

"what did you just say?"

"you are moronic?" Theo ventured hesitating how could he be so stupid?

Before Harry could say anything, there was a knock at his door giving Theo the perfect opportunity to disapparate without another word. The apparent financial fraud was becoming less and less apparent and far more real. Kingsley would love it, there was no doubt, this kind of cases gave the Ministry the leverage they needed making look the Ministry like a place where every wizard and witch could put their trust in, specially after the war. It was the Ministry who sow terror when the wizarding world most needed it. Part of Harry's job consisted on help the Ministry look good, or at least Kingsley asked him to, the arrests and the other cases -especially the ones Harry was involved in- were covered by the Daily Prophet so everyone knew Harry was doing everything he could to restore the faith of the wizarding world in the Ministry. The moment Kinsley made the proposition to Harry, he refused.

- flashback -

"Harry, I understand you had a lot in you plate, fighting for you life" apparently to Kingsley this was a great opening line but to Harry was the opening of something he probably wouldn't like. He hated when other people talked about his life as if they knew what the had to go through to just be able to stand in from the actual Minister of Magic "the wizarding world, the Ministry and me thank you for what you did"

"you're welcome, I guess?" said Harry uncertain

"having you working in the Department of Law Enforcement as an auror will give the wizarding world the opportunity to restore their faith in the Ministry" what great use of words thought Harry looking directly to Kingsley "I personally want to express my admiration to your determination and y…."

"let's cut it to the chase, Kingsley" interrupted Harry getting annoyed "because it's obviously you're about to ask me something and enlarging my name and my achievements only will make this more exhausting"

"Ok, right, you're right. Harry the Wizegamont would much like you to be somehow more public, well not you as you but as an auror" Kingsley shifted in his chair, the outburst from Harry wasn't expected and that only confirmed he had grown so much in those months he was hunting for the horcrux and his character evolved so much making him a great auror and Head Auror one day

"what does that mean, exactly?"

"well, they want the Daily Prophet to cover your feats, you know, like the cases you are working on, the arrests, the criminals you apprehend. That sort of thing"

"my answer is no, if the Daily Prophet believes it is important to the wizarding world to know that's fine by me, but I won't take credit for the work someone else does. If I'm working on that case great if not I won't make any public appearance"

"think about it, would you?

"no, because I have already had" said Harry coldly "my life was not mine from some part of my infancy, I was only a child when I became the Chosen one, even after the war my life didn't seem to belong to me. You needed a hero and I was that hero because I was to young to understand the implications but now I'm older and wiser thanks to my childish stupidity. So, Minister, my answer is no"

Harry refused but of course that didn't mean the Wizegamont would actually listen they were thinking on "behalf of their society" so now and then some of Harry's cases "leaked" to the knowledge of the Daily Prophet, at first Harry was mad about it almost wishing to threat one or two or three of their CEO's but decided against it and when to a muggle pub instead. That's where he found him.

- end flashback -

Harry pinched his nose, he was starting to have a headache. He hated those kind of cases, he preferred the ones where he could be more physical, chasing clues and from time to time engage in combat against a wizard that decided to become rogue. But for this kind of cases the chasing -because there was a chase, all right- the chasing was different was quieter, slower, exhausting and sometime boring, one of his fellow aurors delivered more boxes with paperwork and the balance Gringotts made over the vaults of some ex Death Eaters. Obviously, Malfoy's and Nott's were on the list.

Great. He hated when he needed to talk to Malfoy, whenever they met he was with Hermione so those meeting was more of a reunion with his friend rather spending time with him. Malfoy was a good person and was great to Hermione he admitted but that doesn't mean he liked him.

"I definitely need a break" said to himself "more like vacations than just a break"

Nott:

Need to talk to you, see you at the first in an hour.

HP

Harry wrote in a piece of parchment and send it to Nott, it was crazy how they understood with little words. The first referred to the first pub they found each other, the actual name was "the goat's hat" apparently the owner was quite drunk when he chose it otherwise why would a goat have a hat? That's why they preferred to call it the first, instead of calling it by its ridiculous name. And also, because Nott decided to make fun od Harry whenever he mention it. He had less than an hour to take his thing home, change and leaving for the goat's hat, in order to get to the pub, he had to apparate almost three blocks away, so he could apparate unnoticed and walk, something he enjoyed but still that took part of his time left.

When Harry arrived home, he noticed Ron wasn't anywhere to be found, they were roommates from the moment they decided not to go back to Hogwarts, although Ron was also an auror like Harry and help him sometimes with the Daily Prophet, he also helped his brother George in the shop whenever he could, so it wasn't odd not to find him in the house. Sometimes Harry wondered if he was happier helping George than working for the Ministry, but he was a good friend and knew Harry needed him as much as George did.

Or maybe he was with the girlfriend in turn, since Hogwarts Harry found out Ron fancied Hermione, even though he didn't know when it all began but he did realize Ron's admiration toward the witch. She in the other hand never saw him as anything more of a friend or maybe she did, but instead of seeing him as a boyfriend she saw him as a brother, sadly to Ron, that's not the way you want to be seen. So, his luck in the love department was practically none, he was optimistic though. Since, three weeks or so he started seeing romantically Luna Lovegood a weird choice many may think but in Harry's mind they seem to be a perfect match. "your so cynical about magic for being a wizard, don't you think?" had asked Harry one time.

- flashback -

"she is crazy, Harry" said Ron sitting in front of the fireplace in the coach next to Harry "absolutely mental"

"who is? And why, exactly?"

"Luna" Ron just limited to answer that much

"and why?" urged Harry

"amm nothing, never mind"

"what happened?"

"she just amm asked me out" finished Ron completely read to his ears "she was at the Leaky Cauldron with Ginny, by the way Ginny is in London"

"I know I received a letter from her" answered Harry somewhat uncomfortable

"some day you'll have to tell me what happened between you two. I mean yeah, she decided to become a professional Quidditch player and never is home, but still. I guess if someone could made it were you, but no"

"Ron, we broke up almost a year ago. And that's something she has to tell you, not my information to give" said Harry dismissively "don't change the subject"

"what? I'm not!" said Ron turning red all over again "fine! She asked me out on a date"

"that's good, you need to get out more, meet new people"

"I've already met her"

"again, with the loony thing, huh?"

"she is crazy Harry! She talks about creatures that don't exists!"

"from being a wizard you're quite cynical about the existence of new magic and new creatures" said Harry bluntly "besides I think you have more in common than you think"

In the end Harry won the argument and also reminded Ron to let her wonder him, after all every relationship is always meeting halfway.

- end flashback -

Your trial was brutal, so brutal I wanted to shut everyone up, you should've been so scared but you were so calm, answered every question so punctual not saying anything else than the thing they asked, you as Malfoy had so many to loose even more, he had with choice of not telling the other Death Eaters who we were when the snatchers brought us to Malfoy manor, he even had Hermione's testimony and relationship keeping him safe, but you? Only had the Dark Mark and a horrible father on your behalf. You were so calm, probably you had already accepted your fate, but I didn't. Till this day don't know what overpowered me but I spoke on your behalf, I gave my word that you were a good person who had to make terrible choices, he made you do it even if you didn't want to, was some sort of punishment? He made you take the mark as some sort of initiation or bonding with you? I'm don't know and I'm not sure if I care, what I'm sure that I do care is that you didn't deserved it, nor deserved the way the Wizegamont and the wizarding world were treating you.

So, I spoke

"you didn't have to" you said after your trial was over.

Those were your very first words to me. Ever.

As he had some time, Harry checked the file with Nott's information, he had to give credit to his fellow aurors they always did a very complete job, specially when it came to the files he had to study to understand the extends of the case and knowing when something must need to be added. He was great at his job and probably the reason why he was promoted.

"you're late" said Nott more like a drawl than anything

"yes, well I do have to walk" answered Harry "not like you that apparate anywhere you want"

"hey, I walked too" defended Theo looking straight at Harry's eyes "what do you want to talk about"

Since the moment he left Harry's office Theo was more than apprehensive, why would he say that? I mean, with what right he said that to the most loved person in the wizarding world and not only in the United Kingdom every single place he visited after his trial he found someone who asked him about the great Harry Potter. He just shrugged whenever he was asked of Harry. Meanwhile Harry was so loved he knew he was no one, why would the great Harry Potter liked to spend time with him was beyond him.

At first, sure, he thought of Potter as the great unkillable Harry Potter the Chosen One, but after they met and started to spend time with him Nott realized he was nothing like the portrait everyone had about him. That portrait of greatness they had wasn't because of his heroness and his whole achievements, in reality it was because of his humbleness whenever he was asked he shared his achievements with his friends or fellow aurors. His had both feet on the ground but always aimed for the stars.

"not here" Harry said looking at his surroundings

"then why would you ask me here?"

"to invite you a glass of the finest whisky" said Harry with a smile "and maybe to make you loosen your tongue a bit"

Without thinking it Nott glanced to Harry's lips and although it was a quick glance, he wasn't sure if Harry noticed or his smile broadened just because. They spend a nice time in the company of each other in silence after two more drinks each Harry got up to leave, leaving some bills in the bar for the bartender to keep.

Harry's apparition point was a park, and he decided to take Nott there for future references of apparition points and not apparating recklessly anywhere he found fit. Although the park wasn't that big it was big enough if you wanted to go for a walk or for a run in the mornings. At night there wasn't much people even though it was well lit.

"you brought me here to kill me?" joked Nott

"if I wanted to kill you, you would already be dead, I suppose" answered Harry talking a small folder from his coat and with the help of his wand making it bigger to its normal size "do you remember the financial crime I talked you about? Well Gringotts sent me the information of the vaults that have had a large movement in the last three years and yours appeared in the files. This is actually your file, it contains everything my team could find about you and the information of your vault Gringotts sent"

"what do you want to know?" asked Nott looking at the file, wow he was impressed his team was very thorough

"there was a large withdraw in the beginning of the three years I told you about I supposed it was when you had to pay for your father's war crimes …"

"and mine" added Nott still looking at his file, they even included his relationship with Pansy Parkinson

"noted …wait and yours?" said Harry taking Theo's file off his hands

"hey, I was looking at it" exclaimed Nott annoyed, just because he was Harry Potter doesn't mean he could be Harry Potter, if that had any sense

"why did you pay for your crimes?" asked Harry looking at the numbers in his vault information "I spoke on your behalf, remember?"

"yeah that doesn't mean I was going to wander without paying for my mistakes"

"that's exactly what I did, Nott" said Harry finally looking at him "I said I was going to take care of it that meant I was would pay for them"

"what? Why?"

"I don't know why I did but obviously I wasn't going to back out after the hell they made me go through" Harry was again looking at the numbers "how much did you have to pay?"

"almost the half of what I have to pay for my father's crime, why?"

"that's excessive, I don't think you should have paid that" said Harry frowning to the file and adding some notes to it "tomorrow at noon come to my office"

"okay, that's everything?" said Nott remembering once again what he last said to Harry in his office that very afternoon

"no" answered shortly "why did you said you seem to can't stop thinking about me?"

"I said that huh?" although the file made him sobered a little bit Nott was still tipsy and that wasn't good, or it was?

"Yeah, I said I didn't know what you think of me"

"because you are engraved in my mind" Theo blurted out "since that day you chose to speak up at my trial, I went different places escaping from you but anywhere I went you were there and then we concurred in the same pub for fuck sake" Theo look at Harry who seemed to be fixated on his lips "you got in my mind and I can't get you out"

Without thinking what he was doing Harry took Theo from his neck and pulled him kissing him taking Theo by surprise, after some probably seconds Harry started to pull away when Theo pull him closer and deepened the kiss, kissing him back softly at first and then becoming more dominant. After breaking the kiss Theo looked Harry for a while and before anyone could say anything he disapparated leaving Harry with many questions.