A/N: Neither myself nor Phish Tacko have much knowledge of chemistry so we wrote this as best we could. The main point was to knock Sherlock up.
Ch. 1
"Maybe the testing machine was broken," John suggested, watching as Sherlock carefully injected a blood sample into a petri dish filled with various chemicals.
"Tried two other machines and the autopsy showed that the victim exhibited signs of recently having been pregnant. The medical examiner even tested his blood, and it had high levels of HcG. He ran that test three times, by the way."
John sighed.
"What exactly are you trying to prove, anyway?"
"I'm trying to figure out how this happened. Is it something genetic? A virus that mutates men? The victim had no external female genitalia yet had a uterus. Hopefully this mixture will allow me to get an even better view of his cells under the microscope."
"So… assuming this information is all correct, the baby was cut out of him, then?"
"Obviously. How else would it get out?"
John shook his head.
"I don't even want to think about that. Alright, well, if you need any help let me know. I can take a second look at any slides you make, if you'd like."
"Thank you," Sherlock mumbled. He was once again concentrating on the experiment at hand. He didn't notice John walking behind him as he tried to move to the other side of the room.
"…And there we go," Sherlock said, as he injected the correct amount of blood into the solution that he'd created. He was so focused that when he moved his hand back, he bumped John. John yelled, startling Sherlock. This, in turn, caused the detective to react by falling forward onto the table with the experiment. Within seconds, the petri dish had fallen and its contents – which Sherlock had worked so hard on – were spilled all over his shirt.
"Bloody hell!" Sherlock shouted, jumping back.
Within seconds, the mixture had begun to eat through Sherlock's shirt, hitting his lower stomach.
"What the hell did you mix it with?!" John asked.
"Several acids… Not too strong but enough to break down the cells somewhat so I can see their insides – ow!" Sherlock hissed.
"Take off your shirt!" John said, quickly moving to help his friend.
Sherlock didn't even bother unbuttoning it. Rather, he ripped it off and threw it on the ground.
Now that he was shirtless, John noticed that the detective's skin was red.
"It looks like you've got a burn. Do you have a list of the chemicals you used? Maybe I can pull up some MSDS* sheets on them."
"Just need some cool water and sterile gauze. I should be fine," Sherlock replied, clearly irritated that his experiment was ruined. "Those sheets usually just tell you to wash it and tape it up anyway."
"Still, it looks like a first degree burn – are you sure none of what you used is toxic?"
"I said I'm fine, John!" Sherlock snapped.
"Alright, I'll get the water and gauze, but if it gets any worse, you'd better let me examine you!"
"Water, John!" Sherlock said, impatiently.
John rolled his eyes as he started off towards the bathroom to get the required supplies.
*MSDS = Material Safety Data Sheet, something that can be found with most chemical that outlines how to properly use and store the chemicals and how to treat physical contact with the chemicals.