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Stuart and Alice
Author's Note
This deviates slightly from the story of The Big Bang Theory so I have decided that it is set in a slightly different alternative universe; where Stuart's comic book store is not doing quite so badly as it has in the TV show. I really liked the character of Alice and I really like Stuart as well so I wanted to try out a story that combined both of them.
Chapter 1 - Stuart meets Alice
The doorbell jangled and a pretty, brown haired girl walked into the comic book store. Stuart looked up and then looked away at his all too few male customers browsing through the comics. He was proud to see that most of them too looked up and then back down at the comics. Maybe they were getting used to seeing girls come into the comic book store. Or maybe his threat of using a water cannon on them the last time they had been freaked out by having Penny, Amy and Bernadette, in the store had worked
He was fantasizing about aiming a water pistol at Captain Sweatpants when the girl came straight up to the counter and spoke to him. She was even prettier close up. Stuart didn't normally like girls with studs but the two studs in her right eyebrow looked great on her.
'You're Stuart, aren't you?' she asked.
Stuart felt a little glow that she knew his name. "How do you know my name?" he asked.
"Oh, Leonard told me," she replied.
Stuart recognised her then. She was the young woman that he had once gone up to speak to when she came into the store, and had then chickened out. Leonard had spoken to her and they had started dating for a short while. Stuart tried hard not to feel jealous of Leonard. He was a nice guy and a good customer but it seemed a little unfair that he should have gone out with not one but two good-looking girls.
She leaned across the counter and held out her hand. "My name's Alice."
Stuart shook her hand, trying not to look down at the contents of her low cut black top. He failed, saw the rosebud tattoo peeping above her black vest and started to feel perspire.
"You own this comic book store, don't you?" she asked.
Stuart nodded, unable to speak.
"That's great," she enthused. "I love comics."
"Well, you've come to the right place. This is the store for people who love comics. What can I do for you?" asked Stuart, thinking that it was a lot easier to talk to girls when they were customers.
"I was hoping that I could persuade you to stock some of my comics," she told him, pulling out a comic from her purple, spiky rucksack and brandishing it. Stuart's glow faded rapidly. Just another wannabe comics writer. He often had hopeful artists coming in, trying to get him to stock their comics and he very rarely said yes.
"Can I have a look at it?' he asked.
"Of course," she said.
She handed it over and Stuart quickly skimmed it. He saw that it was good black and white artwork and well presented for a low budget comic but he told her what he told all the other hopefuls.
"I'm sorry. It looks good enough to be in my store but the fact is I'm having a hard enough time selling professionally produced comics let alone ones that are produced by amateurs."
"I'm sorry that you're having a tough time but I don't think it would hurt you to stock a few of mine. I'm happy to place them on sale or return and I'll cut you a good deal on any profits. I'm also selling them online and I'd be happy to plug your store." She looked at him beseechingly. Stuart, looking into those big, blue eyes, couldn't resist. He knew he was making a mistake but caved in.
"Ok, I guess I could take a few. Put up a sign, saying they're by a local artist." He didn't say that he thought that it would have zero effect.
Alice beamed. 'Great. And as an added sweetener…" She dived into her rucksack again and pulled out a sheaf of photos. She gave one to Stuart. He looked at it and nearly had a heart attack. It was a photo of Alice, in a skimpy Angoran slave girl costume.
"I thought you could pin up this up and offer one free with every comic," she explained, smiling.
"That should do it," murmured Stuart, thinking that he would keep a photo for himself. "Was this taken at a comicon?"
"You'd think so, wouldn't you?" she replied, smiling naughtily.
Then she caught sight of a drawing half hidden under a Batman comic. She pulled it out. Stuart had drawn Captain Sweatpants reading a comic, oblivious to the world.
"Hey, did you draw this?" she asked.
Stuart blushed and admitted that he had.
'It's good,' Alice said, studying it. Stuart beamed. It meant something having a fellow artist appreciate his work.
Alice looked up. "Hey, I've got an idea. Wanna grab a coffee so we can discuss it?"
Stuart blinked. Was she asking him out on a date? He dismissed the idea as ridiculous. It was just coffee.
"I can't," he said regretfully. "I have to mind the store." He really hated the store at that moment.
"Well, what time do you close up?" she asked. "I'll come back then."
Stunned, Stuart told her the time.
"Ok, see you then," she told him and walked out of the store.
Stuart went around in a daze, for the rest of the evening. He gave wrong change and didn't realise it until the customer had walked out of the store. He just couldn't believe that such a pretty girl had asked him out for coffee. He pulled out the copy of the photo of Alice that he had placed in the drawer by the till and stared at it. Then he realised that, of course, it must be a practical joke and she would not be returning. He relaxed. If he had thought that she would be coming back, he would have changed his shirt and smartened up a little but there was no point.
Stuart couldn't believe his eyes when Alice walked back into the store at closing time. She had styled her hair into two plaits and looked really cute.
"Hallo again," she smiled.
Stuart just stared at her. Her smile dimmed a little.
"Something wrong?" she asked.
'No, nothing." He didn't want to admit that he hadn't thought that she would return,
"How about that coffee then?"
"Ok."
It was a short walk to the nearest diner but it was time enough for Stuart to spend it, worrying about offering to pay for both coffees, kicking himself for not changing his shirt, and wishing there were more people around to see him with Alice.
As they sat down at a table in the nearly deserted diner and the middle-aged waitress approached, Stuart agonised over what to do about paying.
Alice turned to him and asked with a smile, "What would you like?'
"Oh, my treat," said Stuart, hoping she wouldn't accept.
"Oh, it's definitely my treat. I asked you out for coffee and you took my comic. I owe you one," Alice said firmly.
"If you insist," Stuart said gratefully.
They ordered two coffees and the waitress came back with a jug of coffee and filled their cups. Stuart noted that Alice took hers black.
Alice leaned forward and this time Stuart decided to sit back and enjoy the view.
"Now, I'd like to talk to you about an idea I've had," Alice said to him.
"What is it?' asked Stuart, trying to concentrate.
"I've been thinking about drawing a new comic and I've been struggling to come up with a good idea. I'd also like to collaborate with someone on it, makes it so much easier. Then I remembered some of the stories Leonard told me about his friends and I think that they would make a great comic series," Alice told him.
"You want to do a comic about Leonard and Sheldon?"
"I was thinking of us drawing a comic about Leonard and the rest of his posse. I was thinking that they could be superheroes but funny ones." She emphasised the "us".
Stuart wasn't sure what to be negative about first. He hesitated, blinking.
"I don't think they would like it," he said eventually.
"How do you know that?"
"They might think that it's a invasion of their privacy. Sheldon might take exception to it. He does to lots of things."
"Are they great friends of yours?' Alice asked.
Stuart didn't have to think very hard. "I hang around with them sometimes but I'm not best buds with any of them." He was quiet for a minute and then added with some bitterness, "Not even Raj."
Raj Koothrappali had become close friends with Stuart while Howard Wolowitz had been in space but on his return, Stuart had gradually been included less and less. That had hurt.
"But they are good customers of mine," he added. "I can't afford to lose them."
"We could change the names and their characteristics," argued Alice. "We could make Sheldon short like Leonard and with red hair."
"And not Texan," Stuart supplied, starting to get interested despite himself.
"And not Texan," Alice agreed quickly.
"Yeah, where else could he be from?' Stuart mused.
"Somewhere else with cowboys. Arizona?" Alice suggested.
"No, too obvious," Stuart dismissed the idea. He thought for a moment, drumming his fingers on the table. "What about Alaska? Another place with wide open spaces."
"You're right, that would be better," said Alice, stealing a glance at him. She could see that he was warming up to the idea. "So Sheldon is a short, fat, red haired guy and comes from Alaska. What shall we call him?"
"Gary?" suggested Stuart.
"Gary?" repeated Alice enquiringly.
'Sheldon Cooper, Gary Cooper. Nah, that's too obvious again. Gary, Cary?"
"Cary," Alice said. "Did you know that Gary Cooper shared an apartment with Cary Grant when they were struggling actors? Some people said that they were more than just friends, if you know what I mean."
"Grant," said Stuart. "I prefer Grant for his first name. Grant what though?"
"Grant Wheeler," Alice said.
'Where did that come from?' asked Stuart.
"I don't know," confessed Alice. "It just popped into my head."
"That's good enough for me. Grant Wheeler. "
"Now what about Leonard?" Alice prompted.
"Let me see, Leonard, Leonard Hofstader, German surname so we need to change that. Italian? Polish?"
"Not Polish," Alice decided. "Too close to German. How about Italian?'
"The Italian form of Leonard is Leonardo. "
"Leonardo Di Caprio," Alice said automatically.
"How about Di Caprio for his last name? We could have some jokes about him being related to the actor or not looking like the actor. "
"I like that idea but what about his first name? Something really different from Leonard."
"I know," cried Stuart. "Stanley."
"Stanley?"
"Yeah, you know those old comedians, Laurel and Hardy?"
"Not really," said Alice.
'They were famous. There was a thin one and a fat one. The thin one was Stan Laurel."
"What made you come up with that?" Alice asked.
"I don't know. It just popped into my head." Alice didn't pick up on his repetition of her phrase to his disappointment.
"It's a good name. I don't want Leonard to have a sexy name. And we need to change how Leonard looks. How about tall, blond and skinny?"
"But not good looking," said Stuart quickly.
"Oh no. I think he needs to look funny and geeky for it to work," said Alice casually. "Besides, I really wouldn't want to make him handsome. I'd like a little revenge."
"Revenge?"
"Yeah, he went out with me while he still had a girlfriend."
"No," said Stuart, trying to sound disgusted rather than impressed. "How did you find out?"
"Oh, he told me after we made out for a little while. Tried to tell me what a good guy he was for coming clean."
"So what did you do?' Stuart asked, thinking that Leonard was a good guy for telling the truth.
"Kicked his sorry butt out of my apartment," said Alice, frowning. "I really hate cheaters."
She pulled up her rucksack, opened it and drew out a drawing pad and pen. Flipping it open, she began to sketch quickly. Stuart watched her, not believing that he was having a coffee with a pretty girl who actually liked the same things he did. He thought that this could possibly be the highlight of his life. It was definitely going on Facebook.