Jake threw the ball at the ceiling and caught it as it fell back down. His body was splayed across his bed, his feet hanging off the side. He sighed as his fingers curled around the ball and he sat up with a small grunt of pain. Strider's robot had caught him by surprise earlier today and he had been sufficiently pummeled. Yeah, those bruises would be quite the sight tomorrow. Luckily, Jake prided himself in being proficient in the healing arts and had patched himself up quite nicely. He propelled himself off his bed and set the ball on his dresser before looking himself over in the mirror. White medical bandaging cris-crossed his lanky arms and his dark hair still stuck up in untamable strands despite the shower he had taken when he had managed to escape to the house. The reflection blinked its large green eyes at the boy before turning away. His stomach growled ferociously and he sighed again. Now he would actually have to go hunting on top of all this. His annoyance grew as he stood in the middle of the room contemplating his debacle. This was all Strider's fault! The day had been wonderful so far, he had gotten up, said hello to Jade, eaten breakfast and then decided it was the perfect day for an adventure. The fancy had taken him so suddenly that he had left without his pistols, nothing with him but the glasses on his face and the clothing on his body. He would swear up and down that there was a way Strider had known that fact and decided to send the brobot in at that exact moment. The resulting round of fisticuffs had been short, brutal, and, Jake thought with a grimace, too easy for the brobot. It seemed like that thing kept getting harder to beat. Jake spun around to grab his skulltop from the bedside table and jammed it onto his head. Strider was going to get an earful for this latest shenanigan.
golgothasTerror [GT] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT]:
GT: You and your brobot nonsense have sufficiently ruined my day of adventuring.
GT: I hope you are pleased with your actions.
TT: I have no idea what you are talking about English. I've been in my room making plush rumps spring into existence.
GT: Oh dear lord those smuppets…
GT: Can you please just call off the brobot? I havent been this banged up since the last time I ran into that monster.
TT: The evil giant goat thing?
GT: That's the one
TT: Yeah, I remember you talking about that at some point.
TT: But to answer your question
TT: No. I can't call it off.
GT: Why ever not?
TT: Jake you know why I can't call it off… We've had this conversation…
GT: You promised my house was safe from it! like it was home base or something!
GT: I can hear it crashing around downstairs now!
And Jake was right. A tremendous crashing noise sounded from downstairs. It sounded like the brobot was having a drunken drum recital using Jake's cookware. He sighed and started to pull the skulltop from his head when another one of Dirk's messages caused the goggles to go haywire.
TT: The brobot isn't in your house Jake…
GT: How on earth would you know that?
TT: Give me some credit here English
TT: I always track my robots' whereabouts. No matter where in time/space they are.
Another large crash from downstairs made Jake's stomach turn. He carefully picked up the holster he had draped over his bed post as he responded to Dirk's message.
GT: Marvelous news Strider. really capital, but I dont see how this helps my current predicament.
GT: Whatever it is, its making a god-awful ruckus in my kitchen.
TT: I bet you just left your door open and a stray tinkerbull flew in.
GT: Im not certain they are that smart…
GT: Mostly they are just adorable.
His mind whizzed through every conceivable alternative, none of which were too pleasing. He had reloaded the gun and slammed the cartridge into place with the heel of his hand.
GT: I will be right back. Im going to see what exactly is going on
Again, he tried to remove his helmet but the goggles flashed again and, resigned, he checked the message.
TT: Bro. Be careful. Message me when you get back.
Jake smiled. That was his "bro". Always looking out for him.
GT: Promise! :)
golgathasTerror is now an idle chum!
He took the skulltop off and tossed it back on his bed. The cool handle of his bedroom door gave way as he turned the knob and pushed it open gently. The crashing in the kitchen had stopped and the only sound now was the sound of the bottom of the door as it dragged along the carpet. He carefully stepped into the hallway and checked his surroundings. The gun rested comfortably in his hand, reassuring him as he checked every corner before heading into the open. Casting a quick glance over his shoulder, Jake made his way down the stairs. He avoided the second and fourth stairs from the top because he knew those were creaky and he had yet to get around to fixing them. A quick left turn and a few steps from the bottom of the stairs and he was in the kitchen.
It was completely destroyed. He stood still for a second, shocked by the level of destruction, but the cool metal of the gun pulled him back into reality. Now he knew he was dealing with something much more powerful than a tinkerbull or even Strider's brobot. No, this was something much angrier. He inched carefully along the wall he was pressed against until he could peer around the corner and catch a glance of the full kitchen. Pots had been crushed, dishes smashed, and a refrigerator's worth of food completely ruined. Jake swallowed past his dry throat and stepped into the kitchen; arms fully extended as he held the gun out and cleared the room. Nothing was there. It was like a really noisy ghost had come in, fucked up his kitchen and left. He started to relax his arms when he heard something emit a low growl from behind him.
Years of living on an island full of terrors paid off in those moments. Jake dropped to his knees and heard something go whizzing over his head and rolled back out of the way before another blow scuffed the tile flooring. Gazing up from his position on the floor, all he could make out was a strange black figure with what looked like a dog's head perched precariously atop a human body. Whatever the hell it was, it was angry and it acted like it wanted Jake's head on a platter. Jake pushed himself to his feet and was able to take a quick shot at the monster before it lunged at him again, undeterred by the bullet wound in its shoulder. It slammed its body into Jake and sent them both tumbling out the front door and onto the steps leading to the house. The weather-worn edge of the stair dug into Jake's back as he tried to grapple with the monster and heave its mass off his chest. In the process of being knocked out the door, Jake's gun had gone skittering across the grass and lay a few meters from where he was. They struggled in a sort of strained silence for a few moments before Jake was able to land a decent kick to the monster and buy himself some time to scrabble away from it. He snatched up the gun and jumped to his feet, whirling back around to find… nothing? The grass was matted from where they had just been, but the monster had disappeared. Jake's brows furrowed in confusion and he turned completely around to check his surroundings. Nothing.
A few tense moments passed, but the monster did not reappear. Jake uneasily slid the gun back into its holster and walked towards the woods. If he was looking for a safe spot to relax for a few hours, he knew a few places. As his body started to relax, he could feel a sharp sting on his cheek. His hand came back red when he touched his face and he grimaced in distaste. Stupid thing obviously had claws. That was going to need to be cleaned soon.
Now he remembered Dirk. Poor chap must be worried sick! He eased his phone out of his pocket and leaned against a tree as he quickly updated Dirk on his status.
golgothasTerror [GT] is no longer an idle chum!
GT: I seem to be under attack by some sort of new monster
TT: That sounds right up your area of expertise
GT: The problem is that it sort of…
GT: disappeared.
TT: Disappeared? How?
TT: And if you are under attack why are you talking to me English?
TT: You should be worrying about your own ass
TT: Instead of consulting someone who is separated from you by both time and space
GT: That is certainly an interesting perspective
TT: Bro, I seriously worry about you sometimes.
TT: Put away the phone and just pay attention to your surroundings for a bit.
GT: Dirk. Dirk I… I just remembered something.
TT: What the hell is wrong with you? Seriously Jake
GT: the monster. It had wings. …It could fly.
A second after he hit the send button a horrible crashing noise came from up above him. Branches and leaves showered Jake before he had the presence of mind to jump out of the way. The monster was now armed with something that looked like a fancy taser; not something Jake wanted to become accustomed with. The gun slid out of the holster easily, and Jake was angry with himself for being too stupid to grab his second pistol. He could use all the firepower his arsenal held right now, but the one would have to do. As the monster charged him, wildly swinging the baton, Jake rolled hard to the right and popped back up to his feet to get a shot off. The bullet hit home and the monster growled in fury and impossibly swung the baton at the back of Jake's legs.
Pain shot all the way up through his back and his legs completely gave out as he sank to the grass. He started to panic when his legs refused to move as the dark shadow advanced on him. Shot after shot was fired with precision at the figure, but its movements refused to halt. After the last shot was gone, Jake threw the empty gun to the ground and stood on legs that refused to stop shaking.
He'd be damned if an English went down on his knees.