Warning – wincest! Disclaimer: I don't own
You're pretty sure you hate him. And not even 'petty-sibling-rivalry' hate, or 'we-always-argue' hate. It's a 'Dad-loves-you-not-me hate', it's a 'you're-better-than-me-at-everything' hate, it's an 'I-know-you-resent-me' hate.
It's the sort of hate you have for somebody who's better than you in every way possible, and everybody knows it. Even you – especially you. And if you didn't hate him, you'd probably admire him.
You'd admire the way he can hunt with all the grace of a gazelle and the ruthlessness of a tiger. The way his easy personality can diffuse any tension or awkwardness between you and Dad. The way his looks and effortless charm are simply a magnet for the opposite sex. The way his lips curve up when he smiles and how he chews on them when he's thinking. The way his apple-green eyes glow when his favourite song comes on the radio and the way he sparkles when he laughs. The way the muscles in his back ripple as he bends down to salt the doors. The way he relaxes when it's just the two of you and the way he is so oblivious to your hate.
But you don't think he's oblivious to your not-admiration. And you can't help but think (hope, pray) that sometimes you see him looking at you in the same way. Looking at you with those eyes which say I-want-you and I-need-you and I'm-sorry all at once. And sometimes you wonder whether he could possibly be not-admiring you too.
And then you realise that you don't care, as long as he keeps doing what he's doing. As long as he keeps crawling into your bed at night and crushing you to him. As long as he keeps kissing you and touching you and whispering sweet nothings in your ear. Then you can live with it.
It doesn't really matter if it's all a pretence or not – as long as you both keep it up then neither of you will ever know. And, as unhealthy, as unwholesome as it seems, you both need it. You both thrive on the forbidden nature of it all and the taboo of what you're doing. You both crave the grabbing fingers and the needy thrusts – it's all that keeps you going through the hunts and the kills and the blood. Through the road-trips and the diners and the motels.
Knowing that you have him is all that keeps you going.
But you still hate him, of course.
Thoughts?
xx