Your name is Karkat Vantas and this is possibly the stupidest endeavor your "friends" have ever convinced you to take part in. Somehow, they have convinced you to go to driving school, that's right driving school. Such a stupid thing, a school to learn how to drive this contraption, how were these in the least bit practical? Doesn't CrockerCorp know that there are no roads in Alternia? Wait, strike that, they probably know and are just using this as another scheme to increase profit. Damn Betty Crocker and her baked good claws, grabbing on anything and leaving a giant, greasy fingerprints behind. You shudder at the thought. Oh well, might as well enter, Terezi put down enough boondollars that you'd feel guilty not going at this point.
You enter the driving school and gag, it smells like a giant cake and..and..what is that faint smell? Oh no, he's here. That smell of salt water and despair was not easily forgotten, Eridan Ampora had stepped into the building behind you. You sigh, turn and gag again. His face, its just..you can't describe it. His face, in the easiest explanation you can conjure, has every single emotion –except happiness, you don't think anyone can feel happiness anymore, especially this place- but, one emotion that stands out is loneliness. Dang, you almost feel bad for this guy, emphasis on the almost.
"HEY AMPORA, YOU WERE ROPED INTO THIS TOO?" you force the words out of your mouth, he may be pathetic but, you have no one else to talk to at this point.
"Wwhat does it matter to you, Karkat?" he says in his ridiculous accent.
"YOU KNOW WHAT, PRETEND LIKE I DIDN'T START THE CONVERSATION IN THE FIRST PLACE!" you say.
Annoyed at the pretentious prick, you stomp into the classroom, 10 minutes before the class actually starts and you are the first one here, besides the teacher. The teacher is bent over looking for something so you can't see his face, he's awkwardly wiggling his butt back and forth while searching the bottom drawer of his cabinet. Gog, this is gross! You avert your eyes and sit in the very back of the room. As you settle you notice the teacher. Oh no, not this prick. There he sits in his desk, name plaque now in view, Mr. Egbert. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! THIS IS NOT OKAY! You start wiggling in your seat; the teacher looks at you funny and takes a sip of his coffee. You look down at your lap to avoid his gaze.
"You need a folder and a name card you know", Mr. Egbert says.
You look up, expecting him to walk it over to you. He doesn't of course, instead he starts putting something in his coffee…is that seasoning salt? Okay, whatever, you get up and start walking towards his desk. As you walk, you scowl at the floor and mumble to yourself.
"Oh, and could you sign next to your name on the roster? You need to make sure that your name is spelled right so we don't misprint your diploma. If we misprint your diploma, you'll have to retake the course", Mr. Egbert says in a rather uninterested tone.
You look up from the ground after hearing that just to find the teacher, tongue now prominently sticking out, tapping more..more…IS THAT REALLY SEASONING SALT? You push that thought aside and pick up the nametag, folder and pen to sign your name on the roster. You sign your name in all caps, no need for fancy signatures here. You turn and shuffle back to your desk, head down, scowling and muttering under your breath. As you sit, you see more people come in, all carrying a different type of caffeinated beverage. Can't these people go one minute without caffeine? You slump in your seat and watch them slowly wander in, waiting for anyone to sit next to you, no one does but, there is still 5 minutes before class so you keep your hopes up of possibly having someone decent sitting next to you.
You're still waiting by one minute before the class starts, can't one person sit next to you? You grumble some more, and look around. Yep your "friends" are all here and choosing to ignore your presence, you glance around the room until your gaze rests upon Terezi. You start to think, why did the blind girl pay for all of you to go to a drivers ed class? She's blind. Unless..you try to force the thought out of your mind but, you can't and end up wondering if Terezi can somehow smell directions.
"Alright students, my name is Mr. John Egbert and I am your teacher for these next two weekends. I'm going to break it to you honestly, I'm only in this for the money and could care less if you pass or not," he says.
Hey, at least he's being honest!
"Basically, this class is going to be a dull one. We're going to read books from the DMV first and then we're going to watch every single video in this program called," he pauses to look down at the book, "License to Learn." He looks befuddled and puts down the book.
Before John can continue talking, someone bursts through the doors. Oh, great, your best friend has arrived.
"SoRrY i'M lAtE mY bRoThEr," he says in his usual lazy tone.
John sighs and says, "Great, now I don't get a break. Sign next to your name on the roster, pick up the folder and the name tag and sit down next to….the boy in the turtleneck back there, try not to be disruptive!"
The boy in the turtleneck back there, oh crap, that's you. You do not want this horn fondling, Faygo drinking, lousy morail near you. Not even in the vicinity of you. Not even in 10 miles of you! You sigh and accept the fact that you're stuck with him. He saunters over to you and sits down. You focus your attention back to John.
"Now, as I was saying, we're going to watch all these videos and stuff and that will take 4 days to finish. On the last day we'll take a final exam and if you pass, you pass and if you fail, well you fail. After that we begin the behind the wheel training. You'll be taking this training with a variety of different people and it will be mentally traumatizing for all of them, including you. I guess that is driving in a nutshell, huh? Ah well, you'll get used to it. The rage, the unbearable sadness and the feeling of hopelessness in a traffic jam. Yep, you'll all experience that….I think, I can't actually drive a car, Dave- Mr. Strider just drives me here," he says.
Wait, what did this guy say? He doesn't even know how to drive? You almost want to call out but it looks like someone has beat you to it.
"UM, WH4T? Y0U'R3 T34CH1NG US H0W T0 DR1V3 3V3N Y0U Y0URS3LF C4N'T DR1V3 Y0URS3LF?" Terezi asks.
"Probably on similar terms of why you are here even though you can't see", says John.
Ouch, that was harsh. You expect Terezi to counter with something unbelievably witty but she doesn't. You glance over to your table partner for his opinion but, of course, he's sitting there with a glazed over expression.
"Alright, lets just start with the DMV stuff okay? I don't want to do this anymore than you", he says, "Open your DMV handbooks to page 3."
You open your book and are met with a slew of boring words. Dang, you wonder if you can put your head down and make up for some well deserved sleep. You lay down on your desk and start to dose off.
