Title: Reprecipitations
Rating: K+
Series: Star Trek: Voyager
Author: Singing Violin
Summary: It is never a good idea to second-guess Kathryn Janeway. Resolutions AU.
Disclaimer: The characters are borrowed, please don't sue.
Feedback: If you have read my story, and have something to say about it, positive or negative, please share. Corrections are especially welcome, and errors will be fixed promptly.
Dedication: For Aunt Kathy, who made me re-watch Resolutions.
The moment she appeared in the doorway, Chakotay knew something had changed. With bright eyes, she affixed him with a meaningful stare.
While her face shouted, however, her voice was but a whisper. "Eureka," she squeaked, as a small smile played upon her lips and moisture threatened at the corners of her eyes.
He rose and approached her slowly, irrationally fearful that any sudden motion would cause her to flee. Gracefully, when he was near enough, he raised his right hand and touched her shoulder, his own eyes begging her to complete the thought, to confirm what he already understood.
"We're cured," she breathed, affirming his knowledge. "I've formulated an effective treatment. We don't have to stay here any longer."
He wanted so desperately to rejoice with her, but just as she had resisted his settling in not so long ago, so he too resisted this new development, now that he had made a home on this peaceful planet. "That's…great," he managed to choke out, and pulled her into an awkward hug.
Then, as they broke apart, he posed the dreaded query, "How soon do you want to leave?"
Her eyes widened in surprise that timing was even in question. "As soon as we can pack everything we need, if that's all right with you."
He nodded his assent, and silently began letting go of all his recent hopes and dreams. The images of a log cabin big enough for a family, of small children playing in the garden, of a handmade swing set…all of it dissolved into oblivion, nullified by a single word.
They packed in silence, each of them absorbed within their own thoughts. He wondered, briefly, whether she'd even entertained the same fantasies of home, hearth, and family – or whether she'd remained solidly focused on the goal she'd just attained.
He'd tried many times to get closer to her, to persuade her to let him in, but she resisted. He knew, from her subtle reactions to his gestures, that she was attracted to him, that she also longed to become more intimate, but something was holding her back. Even after the storm destroyed her research, her resolution to move on had lasted only until the primate she'd been tracking finally approached closely enough for her to scan it and decide that it held the secret to their recovery. From then on, she'd continued to pursue the animal, and apparently had managed to get it to cooperate.
He'd have to ask her how later…though truth be told, he really wasn't interested. If he had been, he would have aided her more directly in her research from the beginning, rather than occupying his time making their lives more comfortable. He'd honestly thought she was chasing a pipe dream, but apparently he had underestimated her…again.
Another reason to regret what he was giving up by returning to their life aboard Voyager. As long as she was his captain, they could only become so close. She'd made this abundantly clear. And he had to admit that wanting such an extraordinary woman's attention all for himself was rather selfish…and apparently unrealistic, because even in the scarce moments she claimed to have given up on finding a cure and leaving New Earth, she remained distant, somehow. She wanted to "establish parameters" for their relationship. He didn't even know what that meant, and he told her so! And then he followed up with the corniest pick-up line he'd ever attempted…an "ancient legend" she saw through in about five seconds.
Damn, that woman was smart. She'd been touched, obviously, by his devotion…she hadn't bothered to hide the tears falling down her cheeks after his thinly-veiled admission of love. But she'd stopped short of returning it. Only her hand touched his. He'd hoped that was a promise of more to come, but nothing had…and then the silly monkey had had to intervene. She'd said she "sensed intelligence" in the primate…but it hadn't been intelligent enough to leave well enough alone where they were concerned.
Or perhaps it knew something Chakotay didn't.
"Are you ready?" she asked him, and he thought he heard her voice waver ever-so-slightly.
He nodded, swallowing, not trusting himself to speak. Their eyes met, and then he turned to survey the planet they were leaving behind. When he turned around again, she was already in the shuttle, and he scrambled in behind her.
Without a directive, they began a course towards home: at Warp 4, 700 years away…but in the direction Voyager had undoubtedly traveled. Perhaps they would encounter something or someone along their way that could help them to reconnect with their former ship and crew.
Days stretched into weeks, and they barely talked. She read constantly; he didn't bother to ask what, and he tried repeatedly - and unsuccessfully, though he didn't tell her that - to contact his spirit guide. In the cramped shuttlecraft, it seemed necessary to offer each other as much space as possible. At least, that was the excuse he gave himself.
Occasionally they conversed about possible places to stop along their journey, to obtain supplies and fuel, but they were in no desperate need, and so it was deemed too risky. If the people they encountered were unfriendly, they would immediately be outnumbered and outgunned, an impossible scenario for survival.
They would, eventually, need to stop…they'd discussed it briefly, but the possibility kept being pushed further forward. Perhaps she was afraid that, if they stopped, they'd stop for good.
And would that be such a bad thing? he thought idly. I don't know how much more of this I can take.
And then, when he thought he'd reached the end of his rope – and so had she, though she wouldn't have dared to admit it – they picked up a distress beacon.
"It's Federation!" Janeway exclaimed worriedly. "I think…," her voice lowered then, and her urgency was palpable, "it's Voyager."
He typed a few commands and then nodded. "It's automated," he remarked. "We'll be within scanning range in two hours. I'll hail them in the meantime."
Those were the longest two hours of their entire journey thus far. There was no reply from the ship, and the captain busied herself at the controls, as if she could make the shuttlecraft go faster if she willed it hard enough, or perhaps instantaneously improvise some sort of patch that would allow them to scan at longer range. He paced around the cabin as she worked, dread flooding his core.
When finally they approached, their worst fears were confirmed.
"No life signs," Chakotay spoke aloud, and his words sounded far away, as if they were emanating from a dream. He shook his head slightly, hoping upon hope that this was a dream, but when he looked up at her, he saw that she was already at work trying to prove him wrong.
"Well," Kathryn spoke slowly, "if there's really nobody on board, then it should be safe for us to transport over. Looks like life support is still functional. Let's hope there's just a problem with their communications array."
"And our sensors?" Chakotay queried darkly.
She shrugged. "We've seen a lot of weird stuff here in the Delta Quadrant. Let's hope all is not as it seems."
He bit his lip briefly, then replied, "Aye, Captain."
Again they fell into silence as they dressed into biohazard suits, a customary precaution when entering an empty vessel.
They transported directly to the bridge, and the first thing they saw was Tuvok's body, still in the captain's chair.
Kathryn gasped, audibly, then ran over, scanning him with her tricorder.
The readings were unmistakable. "Vidiians," she muttered angrily. "They took his organs and left the rest of him here to rot."
It was then that she looked up and noticed that Tuvok was not the only one. Scattered around the bridge were the bodies of half a dozen other officers, including Harry Kim and Tom Paris.
"Same story for the rest of them," remarked Chakotay sadly. "And I suspect everyone else on the ship."
Janeway lowered herself into the nearest empty chair and removed the headpiece of her suit; pathogens were the least of her worries now. She rested her head in her hands and began to cry.
"Kathryn-," Chakotay spoke, realizing her tears were as much from exhaustion – mental and physical – as from grief. He walked towards her, and she reached out a hand, signaling for him to stop, not to come any closer.
She didn't want his comfort.
Or perhaps she didn't want to be comforted.
"Let me help," he pleaded, removing his headpiece as well. "Kathryn," he repeated.
"How?" she hissed. "They're all dead, probably because they disobeyed our orders and tried to contact the Vidiians to get a cure…for us…a cure we didn't need, because I found it!"
"I know," he admitted. "I can't bring them back to life, but I'm still here…you're still here. We have the ship. We can probably reactivate the doctor, maybe find out what happened."
She looked up at him then, tears still streaming down her face, and shook her head. "You and I can't run this ship alone, even with the doctor's help."
"Then we'll collect a crew," he offered. "We'll stop at every inhabited colony or planet and request assistance."
"In trade for what?" she retorted, removing her glove and unceremoniously wiping her nose with her hand. "Who in their right mind would help us? We might as well just land on the nearest uninhabited M-class world…"
Her voice trailed off, and he completed the thought for her, "Or go back to New Earth."
"And abandon any hope of getting home, after I…?" she interjected, stopping abruptly.
She wishes now that she hadn't found the cure. Then we wouldn't be here, wouldn't know of Voyager's fate. Sometimes ignorance really is bliss.
"You said it yourself, Kathryn. We can't run this ship alone." He was beginning to feel very frustrated and helpless. "What do you want to do?"
She sighed, still sniffling, then shook her head. "I don't know," she admitted. "I don't know."
"Then let me help you figure it out," Chakotay offered, and this time, she looked up into his eyes and nodded.
He knelt, then, at her feet, and drew her into a deep embrace.