Chapter 1. Letters
A/N: You need to read my story The Start before you read this one! Hope you enjoy!... I'm back:) Kind of... I know that it has been way to long and I said I would start posting at the beginning of the summer when I had more time but I didn't know I would have 7 a.m. practices. So staying up till 3 in the morning doesn't work when you have to be up 3 hours after that... Next week is cheer camo then hopefully I'll have a free week before my vacation to try and write and get ahead my goal is to post every two weeks just to keep it consistant... Once again no promises... I have been out of town 3 out of 4 weekends so I can't write then either but I really am trying my best to make time for writing I promise! Hopefully in July things will be easier because my coach won't be working anymore... Keep your fingers crossed! I love you guys! R&R! (BTW This chapter are the letters Nessie wrote before she passed away. Enjoy!)
Dear Uncle Emmett,
Even though you where my Uncle you never really acted like one. You have always been that annoying brother I never wanted. There where times though when the protective side would take over and sometimes it was nice. I would always think, "That's my Uncle Emmett:)" Without you I would hardly know a perverted joke. Lol Well maybe I would but if it wasn't for you I would have been waayyy behind when I started high school! It's okay that Mom, Dad, Esme, Carlisle, Rose, Alice, and sometimes even Jasper would yell at you. I still love you and I always will! And because it is you I'm not going to make this some long sappy letter. But thank you for all the fun times you have given me and just help my kids have fun, okay? (Wait till they are about fifteen-ish please.) Also keep Rose and Jacob from killing each other! I love you so much Uncle Emmett!
Love,
Renesmee Carlie Cullen Black
Dear Uncle Jasper,
Oh, how I am thankful for you gift of controlling moods and stuff. It has come to my rescue so many times but messing with people's emotions is mean! Lol But I would do it too if I were you! So no hard feelings! I am thankful for how well, southern you are. I don't know if I would have been so drawn to moving south if it wasn't for you! I know that moving may not have been the best thing for everyone else but it made me happy. I think everyone can be thankful for that. Thanks for sitting me on your lap when I was a little girl and bouncing me up and down telling me stories. It's something that you don't think will mean so much but really it does. Thanks for protecting me and standing by me! Please bounce my kids on your lap and tell them stories too! It changed my life for the better not that it would have been bad but you know what I mean. I love you Uncle Jasper!
Love,
Renesmee Carlie Cullen Black
Dear Auntie Rose,
I know you and mom haven't always been the best of friends but thank you for saving my life. Mom didn't have the strength to do it herself but you helped protect me! If it weren't for you I wouldn't be here. Could you imagine how terrible that would be? So basically if it wasn't for you there would have been a vampire vs. werewolf war! Thanks for brushing my hair all those times and for holding me in the very beginning. Like with Jasper I always remember your stories. I guess I just love story telling or something about it. Between you and Alice I was never short on not having someone to have a fashion show for. Both of you always loved to dress me up! Play dress up with Sarah Bella please. Give her some of the qualities you gave me! I love you Aunt Rose never forget that! I know this must be hard I was the "baby" but now you have Caden and Sarah so go spoil them!
Love,
Renesmee Carlie Cullen Black
Dear Auntie Alice,
The best fashionista ever! Oh I love all the clothes you buy and please buy almost every single article of clothing my children have. Have books for Jake with outfits and when they would need to wear them! I don't want my kids looking terrible in their clothes now that I'm gone! I'm trusting though that you are their guide and teacher in this art form and they will one day be able to do it on their own! Thanks for always taking my side for planning any part, recital, or special event for me and making every single detail perfect. I know that is what you enjoy doing but I am still great full! Keep an eye on the future. I love Aunt Alice!
Love,
Renesmee Carlie Cullen Black
Dear Grandpa Carlisle,
I know you weren't their when I was born but you have always helped to keep me healthy and you kept mom alive when she was pregnant with me. You are most defiantly the best doctor in the world! I mean you've only been practicing it for 300 years. You have always been wise in my eyes and please don't think oh I could have done this or that done differently to save her. The truth of the matter is I was done fighting it. I found the courage to let go. If I would have come back right away I'm sure I would be alive but I didn't so it was really my fault. I'd still be here if I would have come home and got treatment but I didn't want to be poked with more needles and I didn't like my kids looking at me like they where scared or sometimes with pitty in their eyes. I think this was best for everyone. No more worrying you all know I'm in a better place... I love you Grandpa Carlisle!
Love,
Renesmee Carlie Cullen Black
Dear Grandma Esme,
Your food. To die for lol. Okay so it may not be funny since I am dead but imagine I'm sitting at the table scarfing down your food like a wolf! See how much funnier it is that way! You must, must, must teach Sarah how to cook! You taught me along with momma and if it wasn't for you my kids and Jacob would have grown up on fast-food. :/ You know what teach Caden how to cook too please and it wouldn't hurt to show Jake a few things so they get halfway decent food every now and then... You where an amazing grandmother and just be the same for Sarah and Caden like I know you will! I love you Grandma Esme!
Love,
Renesmee Carlie Cullen Black
Dear Mom and Dad,
I decided to make it easier on myself I would just combine your letters. I mean you will both end up reading each others anyway so why not save myself the time... Thank you so much for raising me like you did. I know everyone tried to put in their personal touches but trust me when I say, you two where truly and honestly the BEST parents a girl could ask for.
We all know I was a daddy's girl and I had you wrapped around my little finger dad lol but mom I just wanted to thank you for not giving up. Thank you for at first not leaving when dad would tell you he was no good for you. Thank you for talking him into doing "it" before you were a vampire. Thank you for not giving up and holding your own when you were pregnant and thank you for well keeping your heart beating long enough for dad to change you. If you would have given up to any of those things well I either wouldn't be here or I wouldn't have had the same childhood. If you would have died I either wouldn't have met dad or I wouldn't have know him for who he truly was. I wouldn't have known him for the man you feel in love with. So basically I want to thank you for being so stubborn. :)
And dad. I wouldn't be who I am if you didn't teach me music. Music helped inspire me. It helped me learn who I was. When you taught me how to play and compose it really gave me an outlet for my thoughts and feelings. I could just let my emotions pour out onto a page. If I wasn't writing then I was singing and it also let me express myself along with dancing. You made music a huge part of my life and you made it a part of who I am. I think Sarah has the same passion for music. I don't know if hers is necessarily in writing and playing but just watch her dance and you will see what I mean... Oh and dad thank you for being that rock and my run to man growing up. Sure you were a little over protective sometimes but you always put me and mom first which is something I admire about you and it is a quality I am glad Jacob shares.
Oh and mom thank you for not killing Jake when I was like three days old and dad thank you for getting along with Jacob and giving him permission to ask for my hand. I know that I was spoiled and that so far you have been great and spoiling grandparents and I'm sure you will continue that. I know it's a lot to ask for but help Jacob please, just help him with Caden and Sarah. I love you guys SO much and you did SO much for me! Thank you! Please, please don't be sad or mad, okay? Please! I love you Mommy. I love you Daddy. Thank you both soo much!
Love,
Renesmee Carlie Cullen Black
Dear Jacob,
Are there really any words that I can use to describe the way I feel for you? I'm so, so, so in love with you. Everything you do makes me feel like a little girl all happy and giddy. Jacob know that okay. I will always love you. It hurts so much to think of you in pain. Jake I don't want to hurt you. I know what I did when I died but Jacob I'm so sorry. I really didn't want to hurt you. Please forgive me! Please. Great now I'm crying like a idiot and I haven't even hurt you yet. Just remember your pain is my pain and your joy is my joy.
Do you remember how we used to spend our Friday nights just hanging out. Me wrapped in your strong arms. You know I was never afraid with you buy my side. I counted on you for everything. Jacob can you understand why I let go? I hope you can. I hate myself for hurting you. Damn it I'm crying again.
I just love you so much Jacob! I wouldn't be who I am without you. You make me who I am. Try not to be sad. Look at our kids and let them bring out the joy in you. Watch them grow up and fall in love and have kids of their own. I want them to have a full life. Take them to soccer games and dance classes and you'll kind of know when to give them their letters but I wrote several. One for a big moment in Sarah's life and one for a big moment in Caden's. (Alice knows and she can help you out if you guess wrong.)They each have a letter for their wedding day and one for when they have their first child.
Do you remember our wedding day? If you don't I'm very disappointed but I'm positive you do. I was so nervous but then I saw you waiting for me and it was like nothing else mattered. One day you will be nervous and you will see me waiting for you and nothing else will matter.
I want to be selfless and tell you to move on but I don't know if it is possible for you because you imprinted on me but I really do love you and I want you to be happy. I'm not crazy about the thought of some other woman in your arms or taking my place. I don't want some stranger trying to be the mother of my children and I don't want you making love to anyone else. But if you really loved her. Say you imprint on her, then I promise I will be okay with it. Only if you love her and the kids and family must approve.
I love you I know I've said and wrote it a number of times but each time I mean it more and more. Take care of the kids. Make sure they are happy. Make sure my parents are happy too. I know this is a lot to ask for but you are the only man I could trust to do it. Grow old with them. Stop phasing and actually look like someone who could be their dad when they are each like 26. I love you. I know you can make it you will be fine.
This wasn't a long letter because really you already know all the things I would say to you. You know me like no one else. I'm sure my last words were I love you Jacob but if they weren't. I love you Jacob Black. I love you so much it hurts. Every time I'm away from you it hurts. You are the air I breathe and I would be absolutely nothing without you. You know me like no one else and you never try and make me do things I'm uncomfortable with. You are always caring and gentle. You put others before your self always; especially me,the kids, and just your family in general. Just please know I could never ever be anything without you and I could never love anyone more than I love you. I love you Jacob. So, so, so much.
Love,
Renesmee Black, A.K. Nessie