Naruto: Legendary Maelstrom
Summary: After meeting Jiraiya, Naruto meets realizations. Read to see how he deals with them.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. However, this is fan fiction, so I can write about him. If I did though, the Uchiha would long be extinct and Naruto would have a harem with plenty of material for continuing the Icha-Icha series.
Notes: Talking is in double quotes. Thoughts are in single quotes and italics. Demonic and Summons speech are in bold.
Chapter 1: The Failed Retrieval Mission.
Two teenage boys stare each other down while standing at the base of a statue. One looks like a transsexual gargoyle with longer grayish-black hair, grayish skin with a black four-pointed star on his nose, red eyes with three black tomes each, and appears to be wearing lipstick. His name is Uchiha Sasuke, normally with pale skin, black eyes and hair (red with his Sharingan active which is currently), and is defecting Konoha to join one of her most infamous traitors Orochimaru, the creepy snake transvestite who likes males. The closet bi's life's ambition is to murder his brother Itachi, another infamous missing-nin of Konoha, because Itachi supposedly killed every other Uchiha but him. The angry emo prick is standing at the base of a statue of his direct ancestor Uchiha Madara. The other combatant is Uzumaki Naruto, the Kyubi no Jinchuriki. He is currently using his tenant's youki to form a shroud that resembles a red fox with only one tail. Other differences are that his eyes are red instead of his normal blue, his naturally spiky blond hair is more frazzled, his whisker-like birth marks are thicker, and his fingernails and canine teeth are elongated and extremely sharp. Naruto, Nara Shikamaru, Akimichi Choji, Inuzuka Kiba, and Hyuga Neji were designated to retrieve the defector as a high A-rank mission due to the threat posed by four, well five, of the snake bastard's personal bodyguards. However, back-up arrived to help the initial retrieval team in Rock Lee, who cleared the path for Naruto to confront his rogue teammate and the Suna Siblings, Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro; who helped the other members of the retrieval squad. Naruto is standing at the base of a statue depicting Senju Hashirama, the Shodai Hokage of Konoha. The story is that Uchiha and Senju fought at the Valley of the End to decide the leader of Konoha at her founding, and only Senju returned to Konoha with Uchiha presumed dead. Statues were built to commemorate the battle; one on each side of the river flowing through the center of the valley, which is where this fight is taking place as it starts pouring rain.
Sasuke sneers, "Dope, this is where you die for me to gain power! Not even your demon power will save you today!"
Naruto growls back, "No, I will succeed in my mission to drag your emo ass back, but Team 7 is already shot to shit and doomed to fail from its formation. I was the one that saved everyone's asses and basically kept the team together, but I got sick and tired of that bullshit!"
Both fighters decide the time for words is over and decide to settle it with one last attack. The Uchiha prick charges up a Chidori, a high A-rank Raiton 'assassination' jutsu that is very loud and a whitish gold color, which turns black due to the corrupt chakra of his Ten no Juin (ergo, the hickey from Orochimaru). Naruto prepares his similarly ranked ninjutsu the Rasengan, which is the highest form of chakra manipulation and requires no hand-signs. Due to the excess youki, the Rasengan adapts a vermillion hue in contrast to its normal blue coloring. The two propel towards each other with ultimate attacks in hand as they collide.
Immediately after the attacks dissipate as both boys return to normal and fall to the ground, they hear a shrill voice like a banshee's coming from a girl with pink hair. She is standing just beyond the Uchiha statue. Sakura yells, "Sasuke-kun, you finally killed that damn moron! Now let's fulfill your dreams!"
Sasuke glares at her, "Submit to me properly or I will kill you like I did him. If so, then I'm sure that Orochimaru will make you stronger as well."
Pinky gets down on her knees and says submissively, "I, Haruno Sakura, officially submit to your will, Sasuke-sama. If Sasuke-sama wishes, I can pleasure him when we get to safety." Emo prick grunts his favorite one-liner, as they prepare to leave before they get caught. Unbeknownst to them, Naruto is still conscious and witnesses this act of betrayal, which he figured was very likely to happen.
Fifteen seconds later, Uchiha Sasuke and his bitch head toward Otogakure, the home of Orochimaru and his followers as he leaves Naruto to die from his wounds (which have started healing), especially the most recent one in the chest that practically shattered the ribcage and possibly impacted heart, lungs, and spinal cord. The thundering rain gradually winds down and eventually passes.
Back in Konoha, two days after the retrieval team sets off, a certain pink-haired banshee is reported missing; ergo, she snuck out to join the emo. This gives a very buxom Hokage plenty to vex about, especially since Lee was a late add-on to the first team. Luckily, Tsunade has four available shinobi that know each other, can work together, and supplement the ones currently on the original mission. Well, the mission in question is an addendum to one assigned three days ago. She commands, "ANBU! I am to have Aburame Shino, Tenten, Yamanaka Ino, and Hyuga Hinata in here two hours ago!" She adds to herself, 'Damn it, I need sake real bad, but I must hold off. One week into this job and I have shit hitting the fan! It is official: Team 7 will be disbanded.'
Within an hour, the four members are ready to head out after being briefed. Shortly after their departure, Hatake Kakashi, the Jonin commander of Team 7, heads out with several medics to bring back injured members of the retrieval team due to Shizune returning from her mission with injured comrades and knowing that it's certain due to the nature of the mission. By the end of the day, Choji and Neji are hospitalized and in critical condition; their kills in Autopsy as information is vital.
Shino and the three kunoichi find Naruto unconscious about five minutes after he was left to die. Thankfully, all external bleeding has ceased; but there is still a considerable amount of internal damage to consider. About a minute later, Kakashi arrives and issues new orders to them, "Shino, you and your team is to take Naruto back to Konoha for treatment immediately. Everyone else is already accounted for and receiving necessary treatment. I will worry about tracking down my wayward students."
The four could only respond, "Hai, Kakashi-sensei!" The porn-obsessed Jonin then speeds off in the direction of the traitors.
As the four Genin figure out the best way of transporting Naruto back, as they carefully got him to the top of the small cliff towards Konoha, a very imposing figure that they only know of from legend appears. "I'll carry the gaki back and the four of you will stay with me. Not even Orochimaru himself will attempt anything with me around."
Tenten sputters in sheer awe, "Jiraiya-sama, this is such an honor! Do you have any interesting stories for us?" The six-pack start heading back, with half-dead Naruto being carried piggy-back by his mentor.
The sennin chuckles, "Yeah, I have a few that aren't at least 'R' rated. This one is a recent battle that took place outside of Otafaku Gai not all that long ago, and certainly one to see and better to be a part of. This fight has certain conditions like Tsunade-hime having hemophobia, my chakra being out of sorts due to her not wanting me involved initially, and Orochimaru not being able to use his arms and virtually all his ninjutsu thanks to Sarutobi-sensei; the last being what caused this mess. Orochimaru brought a sidekick to help him knowing that Shizune is with Tsunade-hime, and I brought Naruto here as well. Shizune isn't much of a fighter, causing Naruto to use the jutsu I taught him to take the crony out but the gaki got hit as well."
A medic interrupts the tale, "Jiraiya-sama, how is Uzumaki Naruto doing? What of the other two members of Team 7?"
Jiraiya answers curtly, "My apprentice here will be fine once he's in the hospital due to his vastly accelerated healing; Tsunade-hime will check over him personally I'm sure. As for the traitors, don't worry about them at all. I have a feeling that Kakashi will be too late to stop his former Genin from reaching my ex-teammate. I'll tell Tsunade-hime to put them in the Bingo Book immediately. Have one medic waiting to intercept Kakashi just in case and tell the rest to return to Konoha."
The medic obeys, "Hai, Jiraiya-sama; however, I am the only medic out here still. All others have returned, as three of ours have serious or worse conditions; but the upside is that five with that Juin are dead."
The Gama Sennin dismisses the medic, "Good. Now you have your updated orders. These Genin and I will need even more haste now to make it by the end of the day."
As speed picks up, so does his story, "Ah yes, I was at the point where Naruto and the lackey took each other out of the fight. The conclusion of this fight was down to the Sannin as apprentices and lackey are unable to fight. The three of us called forth our boss summons and had a hell of a battle. Unfortunately, Orochimaru and his crony escaped as Tsunade-hime and I were too tired to mount a pursuit. That and Naruto needed some medical attention. During the fight, Tsunade accepted the position of Hokage and it is mission complete for Naruto and I."
Ino inputs her two cents, "From what I heard from Shikamaru and Choji, Naruto told a similar story, but he had lots of embellishments like saving the life of Hokage-sama a couple of times and even winning a bet."
Shino adds, "I hear that the lackey is Yakushi Kabuto, that guy from the Chunin Exam. He did seem suspicious after all."
Tenten remembers, "Oh yeah, the quitter. I think he is stronger than he let on and wanted to keep his skills a secret since he works for Orochimaru."
Jiraiya issues corrections, "Perhaps he embellished a bit, but he did save her life and beat her in a bet. His words and actions spurred Tsunade-hime to accept the title of Hokage after all." The four Genin are shocked and respect Naruto more, Ino and Tenten the most.
Hinata could only look at Naruto with concern, the hearts-in-eyes look, and a blush. This doesn't go unnoticed by the well-connected spymaster, who files this development in his 'Naruto and Icha-Icha stories' sections. Jiraiya could picture this now: 'Now this is a 'development'. Naruto can score at anytime if he knew that she liked him especially in that way. I'll teach him a few things and then he'll be getting all kinds of pussy. Fuck whatever bullshit the council comes up with; I will be there for my godson personally and I'm ashamed that I never really was there for him. Although I made sure he could eat well enough, get all his supplies, clothes, isolated apartment, and of course porn without sacrificing the necessities.'
The rest of the trip goes by rapidly as they arrive in Konoha and go straight to the hospital. Tsunade is present as she spies Jiraiya and the Genin. "Jiraiya, how bad is Naruto and why are those four with you?" She yells at a couple of medics to check Naruto for injuries, heal him and put him in a room. Shizune oversees them to enforce her master's orders and to do the diagnosis personally.
Jiraiya gives her the skinny and the four Genin are sent home (Shikamaru and Lee have to stay overnight, sucks for them.) The perv adds, "Don't worry Tsunade-hime, I will personally stay with Naruto until he wakes up and tell him what happened. Also, I want to take Naruto on a training trip for a couple years; let him learn new things, meet new people, and make him strong enough to protect which he cares about, especially from Akatsuki, and have him be someone his parents would be proud of. Hell, I'm proud to be his sensei and be able to mold him into a kind, strong man."
Tsunade threatens him, "You better not turn him into a pervert, especially one at your level. If you do, you will suffer eternal castration!"
He sputters, "What would you say if Naruto was already perverted before he even met me? When we met, he used a very interesting Henge as a nude girl with pigtails."
She growls, "Jiraiya…"
The man caves and whimpers, "Okay, please don't hurt me. I'll behave for the most part."
The Hokage sighs, "Fine, pervert; I won't bust your balls this time." Jiraiya sighs in relief but the next part scares the shit out him and every man (even the butt-fucking queers (bonus points to those that catch the reference)), "If Naruto comes back from this trip with no self-restraint regarding women or perverseness, I will personally implode your genitalia, heal the damage, and implode them again; and repeat the cycle for at least 24 hours! Understand?" He nods as his voice was lost due to mentioning of genital implosion, especially if it would happen repeatedly. "Good. You may go now, Jiraiya."
Before he leaves, he has one last parting shot, "Hime, you should know by now that I respect a woman's wishes and that no one will ever be as perverted as me!" Jiraiya laughs his ass off as a paperweight chucked at his head hits the door behind him.
Tsunade sighs to herself, "I know you'll do right with that gaki, Jiraiya. I or most females won't be all thrilled with the results, but it'll be worth it to piss off those old bats, especially the ones on the council." 'Not to mention the two of them will take care of things off the books and that those dumbass fossils will be gone within 5 years when I have Naruto take this job.'
A/N: Not bad for this first chapter rewrite. Now Shino (especially) and Tenten have no reason to say they were left out of anything. I'm leaning harem here, willing to take suggestions with solid reasoning and constructive criticism. Flamers will be greeted with hostility, including but not limited to: the finger, me saying 'fuck you' or 'fuck off', and placement of flamers in embarrassing and disgusting situations. Reviews help motivate this lazy ass (hey, I admit it) churn out chapters faster. Enough ranting from me, see you next update.