You Crazy, Girl!
Part 1
Inspiration and credit goes to BlastphamousHD
Two days after moving in with Chris and Melody, Cassie Cage was making nachos and pizza for a special. She plans to entertain the couple as part of their inauguration for her living with them. Two hours later, Chris and Melody returned from shopping. They smelled pizza and nachos.
"Cassie?"
"Hey, girl."
"Somehow you read our minds about dinner," said Chris. "And those are excellent choices."
"I wanted to do this as my show of thanks for allowing me to live with you two."
"Of course, Cassie," said Melody softly. "Just remember, nothing but love in this house, especially with him. (Referring to Chris)
"I know. (She winks at him and licks her lips)"
"So are you two ready?"
"For what?"
"You know how crazy I am, right?"
"That is a known fact."
"I thought I'd give you guys a good taste of some crazy shit. I'll help you with the groceries and we can get started."
After helping the couple put the groceries away, they got two platefuls of pizza and nachos and some Pepsi. They had no idea what to expect from Cassie. She comes out in her dark green muscle and white panties.
"Damn, girl!"
"You do it, too, Melody."
"That's true. Chris is turned on by my thighs."
"Well, anyway, ready?"
Chris and Melody held each other close. Cassie set a DVD into her laptop and pressed play.
"What's up, bitches? Oh... Fuck."
"From the page of Cage!"
"When I was a kid, I wanted to do a hole in the dirt, but knew that if I did, I would fuck the whole universe."
Looks at Melody; "This bitch has more penis than I do, man!"
"What's up, guys,? This is your Cassie Cage! Tonight, I have a topic that holds a bit true to my heart. It's called "Father laughs while daughter tends to outrun Jared Fogle from Subway. Yeah, boy! All that we can hope for is that she's not gay!"
"I'm not really a emotional type of girl, so I'm not really good at conveying how much I appreciate BLOWJOBS. Just the not type that involves small people. Because midgets... shit."
"You think that I would just wake up in the morning and ask myself, you know what I want?"
"NETFLIX AND BUTT SEX!"
"FUCK YES!"
"My parents are good at that shit."
"Goddamit, I like older MEN, i mean I almost said WOMEN...
"I swear to God, man, they have a fuckin' all girl group for every category of PORN!"
What's up, guys? This is Cassie Cage and we are here to talk about a French prostitute getting caught getting her Elmo tickled outside Burger King..."
"I will let you guys in on a little secret.
Your girl watches Hamster porn, brah!
It's hard to find the good shit because all the fuckin thumbnails are misleading!"
"Brave people! Step forward and you announce to the world:
"I'M A ASS EATER!"
"Have you ever laid down on your bed and covered your head in a side sharp end of the basketball. Sounds stupid as fuck by concept. But then when you see it, you realize just how immensely comfortable that shit is."
"With the amount of comfortability it offers, I'm not mad at it!"
"What's up, guys? This is Cassie and we are here to talk about... FUCK SHIT!"
"I know I don't sound very enthusiastic, and that's because I just got done FUCKIN Method Man and made $13 million dollars, or at least tried to with no lubrication..."
"You gotta do what you gotta do. These are hard times. Double entendre."
"I just bought migraine medication, and it says in small print one of the main symptoms is "He pussy."
"I'll have my CAMEL TOE on YouTube and rest assured it will be FUCKED immediately!"
"What's up, guys, it's Cassie again. And I have another topic, or yet another installment of Cassie Cage's Try Not to Give robot blowjobs...
'i be fuckin with y'all, man. I'm too comfortable."
"I tell my female friends all the time. The Lord has blessed you with... PUT YOUR THUMB IN YOUR BUTT!
Goddamnit, you gotta be a dumb bastard to fall for this..."
"Never be the same after that shit!
Oh, my anus.
"If you want to watch the original video, the link is gonna be in the damn bathroom stall!"
"Also, if you want to see me Livestream, I stream every day on YouNow dot com slash EXTREME MUFFIN TOP!" The link is in the description down below. I do a whole pound of cocaine, only sometimes. Also, watch me FUCK a motherfuckin rattlesnake..
"GETTING MY PUSSY WET TONIGHT!"
"Selfies make the pussy wet!"
"This will usually be the time to make a spring break titties reference, probably not a good idea, fuck around and Jared Fogle myself."
GTA 5 death tune plays
EAT FRESH!
"I made a pact back in the day, a pact that says I will go back to jail. You mad! You mad, bruh? Yeah, he's mad.
"I take all types of fuckin drugs and shit before I jump on camera to make me more funny and outgoing." 😎
"Hey, guys, this is Cassie again and I am here to tell you that Batman admits sending dick pics to a 14 year old. That's not a mistake."
"I'm just letting you know, that if you're ever down, I have a butt rapist in my coat..."
"I remember going to Walmart in the back there was a dumpster full of naked John Cena magazines..."
"I have more than enough children porn to satiate my sad, human needs...
"You can't just... not... put your mouth on it."
"Hey, guys, it's Cassie and our topic for today is my mom's vagina holes.
Cant be anywhere near as bad as mine."
"Anyone out there knows that a truth or dare always gets the pussy poppin happening, everytime. I've done plenty of those and one night I was doing some man rape. And it's always from truth or dare. Crazy.
My mother didn't play that shit.
I actually found a secret that allows me to learn more things about women, and how to get into their children."
"What's happening, guys? It's ya girl, Cassie. Our topic today is pornstars describe their ideal penis.
Can't be anywhere near as bad as mine."
"Our next topic is all about ass naked children turned on by their... don't judge me, bitch!"
"You put your goddamn cock away. Put it away."
"Alright? Alright."
"Show me that pussy fax."
"WHAT TYPE OF FUCK SHIT?"
"Sometimes you just gotta beat somebody the fuck up, otherwise, they don't know that violence solves problems. You know?"
"Everyone makes mistakes! I love it when people use that shit, "mistakes."
Killing people is the mistake.
A mistake is accidentally pouring dick pics into my Lucky Charms thinking it was milk. That's a mistake!"
"Ass naked.
Muffin top
Back boobs
Front butts
Booty Dews
Dude, that my childhood!
"I was making out with this chick with chick one day.
This bitch don't call me back talking about I GOT HER BED WET!"
"I assured her it wasn't piss, but when I told her what it really was, then she had the nerve to hang up on my face."
"I don't understand why women get so mad when you shit in their sheets.
"Kevin Hart would pay me $1300 to come to my hotel room and have me take a shit on his chest...
He eats the poop, utensils and everything..."
"It got dark."
(Referring to Sheva Alomar of Resident Evil 5) "Why is this woman dressed like a bad bitch? She's got that Clubbin outfit on. What the fuck?"
"Is this what John Cena of the WWE took all those ass whuppings for? Too much?"
(Referring to the Cassie Cage piece on Deviant Art with long hair) "Damn it! I for one thought that this shit was real!"
"Hi, everybody! It's time for...
Chris Brown beat you because you're not pretty enough.
What the fuck?"
"Hey guy, this is Cassie Cage, and we are to watch a dude catching the heft of the anus and how it flops.
Some good old-fashioned street justice. Mmm. Motorboats. Balls. I mean... fuck it."
"I'm taking anything into my anus...
All the junk in the trunk...
I'm gonna edit that out."
"Coming from where I used to live at, I've seen a lot of these situations happen.
Motherfuckers be always trying to find a pussy hole to fuck. And a lot of times, it's not even in a female, it's with a dude. You know?"
"I mean, shit! If I can paid just for shaking my vagina on Instagram, I do that shit too.
For you, guy, and nothing else."
"I'm famous for suckin off Ray Just but then again..."
"You guys want some vagina?"
"You wanna party with me?
Party's starting! (Hooting)
"Hey, guys, this is Cassie Cage and I'm actually super scared right now. For real, I'm very fuckin scared."
"How the fuck is pop rock gonna save from getting underneath the cooch! I hear some women like that shit."
"I've witnessed people getting it directly into his ball sack!
Do you, boo boo... boo boo..."
"We're about to keep it super duper real. Well, maybe a bit too real because we're gonna be using words like BOY PUSSY and types of fucked up shit."
"No vagina is free."
"No vagina is free!
You're paying for it somehow.
Some are more expensive than others."
"With that being said, lego!"
"Two gay dudes, one of them want a foot massage... (Moans)
Mileena: Aahhh!
Kitana: Goddamn!
"You better get down here and get some of this shit!"
"Wait a minute, hold on! (Looks at Mileena kissing D'Vorah in MKX Story Mode) AAAHHHH!
"Bruh, our community does not accept bukkakiing young children. I can say that I feel like a terrible person for having done so.
"Im not gonna say that, but just know, i suck the dirt off them nasty, filthy, beautiful feet! Mmmmm...
You know what I mean, though.
I don't know why it's so creepy...
"We ladies of Mortal Kombat barely wear any clothing.
Me, I got tired of being reported, so..."
"Well, guys. This just goes to show you, not all pussy is musically... pussy."
"A lot of people who would pay for children means you just have to give it pussy."
"Me and my girls were at a party house, turning shit up, people were coming together, and we're all fucking together. The same group I started were like the NASTIEST group. So that same dick sucking guy who blew off went to the group and gets naked next to me and starts coming hard as fuck like yeah, yeah, yeah..."
"If you want to win a PS4, just pull your pussy out on Instagram, because once I reach 100k followers on there, I will give away 3 boys humping the air on camera..."
"I'm tired of children playing these games. Just fuck me on Instagram... Links in the description!"
"Hey, guys, if you enjoyed this this video, be sure to hit the like button, subscribe for more crazy shit. Also, check out the homie cw2k. He has a lot of BUTTFUCK stories. Thank you for watching, peace!"
Chris and Melody looked at Cassie.
"Umm..."
Both of them laughed so hard.
"Oh my God," said Melody. "That was some crazy shit."
"I told you. So, Chris, you and Melody...?"
Melody was massaging his member. "You know what time it is, baby."