Goku and the Cake
Authors notes: Yay I'm back!! Yeah I have a lot of school. Well here's another fic. This one is fairly long..so. yeah. Here is more of my dumb humor.
Vegeta was once again sitting on the couch eating Godiva truffles and watching "All in the Family" on TV. He chuckled to himself as Archie Bunker called his son-in-law "meathead".
"Heheh 'Meathead' I must remember that one."
Bulma was shuffling about the kitchen baking what looked to be a cake. Vegeta, now wise to his mate's chicanary, never again touched a thing she cooked. Bulma smiled at her own handiwork.
"Finished at last!"
"Another poisoned bakedgood?" asked Vegeta.
"Uh.... n-no. Heheh. Why would I bake a cake that could make someone smart?" Bulma grew nervous but tried to keep cool. "You've got it under control, Bulma," she said to herself. "He doesn't suspect a thing." Under the circumstances she knew she couldn't test it on Vegeta, he knew too much. Trunks.... well lets just say Trunks never ate what she made. Then an idea sprang into her head so fast it made her laugh aloud.
"Mwahahahaha! Why of course! It's all so simple!"
"Crazy 'meathead'" Vegeta said and laughed at his own private joke.
Bulma was confused. "What the hell are you talking about Vegeta?"
"Shut-up woman you do not understand the powers of all that is Archie."
"Whatever..." Bulma put the cake in a box and tied a red ribbon around it.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm going to take this cake to Goku."
"Is he going to act funny after he eats it? Can I watch?"
"My cooking isn't that bad!"
"No one can trick the Prince of all Saiyans...twice."
"Fine, fine, get in the car and bring Trunks. We'll all have a show."
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Soon Vegeta and family were at the Son house. Bulma entered carrying a large box and Trunks trailed behind her giggling. He wouldn't have missed this for the world. Vegeta came in unusually happy to see Goku, aware of his fate.
"Oh Bulma!! A gift? Who for?" asked Chichi.
"It's a little something I whipped up for Goku. A sort of 'Thanks for Saving the World, Well Last Time It Was Your Son, But You're Okay Anyway' present."
"HI BULMA!"
"Son-kun!"
"Ooooo is that a present?" he laughed. "Is that for me?" She nodded. "Wow! I hardly ever get presents on a count of I usually break them with my amazing strength!"
Vegeta huffed at the last part, "Meathead."
"No Goku, you can't break this one." She handed him the box, which he ripped apart gingerly and as eagerly as a ten year old.
"Cool, a cake!"
"My, how inexspensive of you, Bulma," added Chichi. Goten and Gohan entered the room.
"Look guys! A cake from Bulma! I bet it's chocolate too!"
"Vanilla." replied Bulma.
"But chocolate is my favorite." pouted Goku. "I thought you knew that, Bulma." He whined. "We've known each other a very long time and you still didn't know that my favorite was chocolate?"
"Eat the damn cake, Kakarrot!" Vegeta shouted abruptly.
"Well alright, Vegeta." He turned to Chichi. "Aren't you gonna get me a plate and stuff?"
Vegeta's very short amount of patience wore off and he picked up the cake and shoved it in Goku's face. And Goku, being Goku, ate it that way. "Yum.. Vanilla isn't so bad after all! Maybe it was chocolate that I hated."
Bulma waited.
"So, when are the effects going to take place?" Vegeta asked Bulma.
"Soon now. Veeeery soon." She smirked a bit too much like Vegeta.
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Three hours later they were still at the Son house playing Monopoly. The game thus far was:
Goku: Thimble $40,000 and owned all the railroads, utilities, AND Boardwalk and Park Place. He would also occasionally count his money in front of Vegeta.
Vegeta: Cannon $1,530 He owned all the crummy dark purple property next to GO and Some of the orange. He kept getting sent to jail.
Bulma: Car $10,000 She owned all that nice red property next to Free parking and the green area near Go to Jail as well as the yellow property.
Chichi: Iron $300 and she tried to buy income tax..TWICE. She owned Oriental Ave.
Gohan: Hated playing board games and thought it was childish and stupid.
Goten: Almost choked on a small green plastic house.... TWICE.
Trunks: Was watching TVand throwing hotels and houses at Goten.
Goku landed on a question mark, "Oooo, Chance!"
A commercial for Sailor Moon dolls came on the TV and Trunks and Goten laughed hysterically. "Turn the damn thing off!" shouted Vegeta. He new all too well the degrading state his precious Sailor Moon had reached when he saw the commercial for the first time. The memories came flooding back and a single tear trickled down Vegeta's cheek. "The horror, the horror. They could've at least had a better storyline. I mean, who writes that crap?" He looked away. "Ten year old girls... feh. Anyone of any age can watch the show." He smiled as he recalled the subbed Sailor Moon Stars he recieved in the mail yesterday. "Kakarrot better show some results soon, I want to go home already."
Bulma sighed, "He was supposed to be smarted by now."
"Smarter?!" Vegeta scoffed, "Making Kakarrot smarter is impossible!"
Goku over heard the conversation. "Smarter? Huh? But I feel smarter already!"
Bulma rolled her eyes. "Damn, now he only thinks he's smart."
Vegeta whispered to her, "Shhh, don't tell. Let's just watch."
Bulma, who thought Vegeta was trying to share a secret with her and therefore showing her kindness, decided to agree. All the while she kept thinking, "He really does care!!!" and kept giggling to herself and glancing over to Vegeta occasionally like an infatuated school girl of thirty-something years of age. Vegeta, on the other hand, was in it for sheer self indulgance of Goku's follies.
"Chichi!! I am smart!!"
"Goku..." Chichi was unsure.
Goku upset the monopoly board and jumped into the car. "Bulma, drive!! I want to test this out!!"
"Dad." Said Gohan, speaking for the first time in the fic and somewhat unsure of the role he played.
"Hey dad!! Are you really smart?" asked Goten, interrupting Gohan and crushing any hope he might have had for a small role.
"I think so!" replied Goku.
"Damnit!"cried Gohan as he ran upstairs. Sadly, no one in the house noticed.
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Everyone sans Gohan was downtown and at a mall, all because Goku thought he was smart and was trying to prove his intelligence.
Goku pointed at a dog. "Look! A... um"
"Starts with a 'D', dad." said Goten.
"Dog, yeah!"
"No I meant 'D' for Dalmation. The breed."
"That's a silly name, dog!" Goku ran to a store full of toys to avert his attention. "Toys!" It was a small tactic his brain played on him to avoid serious thought.
Trunks was bored, "When do we go home? I really bored and Goku isn't smart at all."
"See," Bulma sighed and tried to explain the mysteries of life, "sometimes people suggest storylines, but they're not as interesting as one would think. When we think we're funny, we're not, and usually we have to resort to slapsick for a laugh."
Goku tripped over loose tile and fell on his face. Everyone in the mall pointed and laughed.
"See what I mean?" asked Bulma. Trunks nodded.
"When is this scene ending?" he begged.
"Soon, son, soon."
Soon the group came upon a small electronics store.
"OOOOOOh!!! Look at all the wires and stuff!" Goku noted.
"Are you sure the cake didn't make him stupider?" asked Vegeta.
Bulma merely shrugged her shoulders.
Goku came closer to a computer that was on display.
"With my 'Smart Powers' I can easily become a hacker!"
"Goku don't!" cried Chichi, but it was too late.
Goku randomly pressed buttons on the keyboard. The computer overloaded and caught on fire.
"Cool! I typed in 'fire' and it gave it to me!"
A nearby salesperson screamed frantically and told Goku and his friends to leave.
Meanwhile Goten and Trunks stole about $400 in merchandise. Those Gi's they wore could hold anything.
Yes, it had been a VERY good day. For Trunks, that is. For the rest of the Z warriors.. well they had to endure Goku's follies.
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Goku, feeling his "Smart Power" waning, went into a bakery.
"Give me all your cakes!"
"What?" Asked the shocked woman behind the counter.
"I want your cakes, it seems that cakes give me 'Smart Power'."
"Uh. sure." She handed over all of her cakes to the tall man and his gang, "Are you going to pay for this?"
"Pay?"
Bulma grimiced, fully aware that she would pick up the tab. "Why is it that this small experiment seems to have screwed me over?" This little trick wasn't worth half the effort.
"Mom what does 'screwed' mean?" Trunks looked at her with all the innocence he could muster, fully aware that these questions made her uncomfortable. He knew damn well what the word meant.
"Let me handle this one," said Vegeta with a smirk.
"Oh god no!" Trunks backed up. "One day dad's 'facts of life' stories are going to scare me into trying to remain celibate by hunting for Dragonballs across the universe thereby keeping my 'innocence' intact forever."
"Suit yourself," Vegeta laughed. "Would you rather Bulma explain with her hand puppets?"
"I know what it means!! I was kidding!"
"Damn straight." Vegeta said with a smirk.
Meanwhile Goku was on his 20th cake not getting any smarter.
"I don't feel smart. Maybe I should eat more?"
"Kakarrot, you idiot! You're not any smarter and this isn't as entertaining as I thought it would be!"
Vegeta grabbed Bulma and Trunks and headed off. "He's so damn stupid!" Bulma was giggling the whole time. Vegeta rolled his eyes. "Would you shut up about it?"
"I'm flying.. in your arms!" She laughed excitedly.
"Want me to drop you?!"
And then she shut up for good.
"Meathead," he said with a smile.
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After that incident no one spoke of the time Goku ate a cake and thought he was smart. Gohan never did get a part in the fic, and many readers were left unsatisfied. Bulma called Chichi for a week after the incident inquiring whether or not she could bring Goku a 'Sorry for making you look like a dumb-ass' cake, but Chichi knew better. Bulma was never invited to bring food again. However, Bulma was able to trick the Son family in OTHER ways.
A sudden ending? This looks bad! Not as bad as ending a DBZ episode in the middle of a fight! Well, thanks for your time and and I hope you smiled at least once.