Here it is! I want to thank all of you who reviewed the last chapter of Exile and expressed your horror and excitement to find out what I had planned next. You're about to find out, kids. Hold onto your seats! See you at the end;) P.S. Breaking Dawn blew my mind. It was fantastic! If you want to talk about it, PM me! I don't bite...hard.

Prologue

When you've lost everything in the world that's important to you, there isn't much to stop you from being stupid. You've got nothing to make you want to take care of yourself. Nothing and no one can bring you the tiniest bit of happiness…except that which you've lost. Your anodyne is the person you loved and lost, and you'll do anything for another hit of relief from that loved one; anything to keep your drug and feed your addiction. I should know…my anodyne was the most addictive of them all: he was my true love.

Chapter 1

The first month after Jasper was killed, no one could get me to do anything...not hunt, not talk, not even look him or her in the eye. Esme was riddled with worry about me, as well as grief from losing a son for the second time. The whole house was grieving, but they managed to find a way past it after a while. My way of dealing was to shut myself off from it and anyone who knew the love of my existence.

At least…that's what I was told. I remember nothing about that month. After Edward told me about my husband, my memories are non-existent…until the day of the family intervention. Ugh…I still shudder to think about what happened that day. Mostly because I know Jasper would be ashamed of my actions.

I watched without comprehending as my brothers walked across the floor toward me. My sharp ears heard their conversation, but didn't understand. My absent mind missed the anger and pain in their tones as they called my name. I didn't move an inch as they stood in front of me, yelling their heads off.

"You need to talk to someone! Grieving alone isn't good for you, Sam. Let us help!"

"Esme is worried sick about you, Sam!"

"The whole entire family is worried."

"Damn it, Samantha! It's been a month! You need to feed. Jasper would want you to."

That made me flinch. No one had said his name within hearing distance of me since the day I'd woken up. I registered that and almost glared up at Emmett. Instead, I tried to retreat deeper into myself.

"Oh, no, you don't. Samantha Jo Whitlock, don't you dare."

That time, my eyes closed against the torrent of pain. Whitlock…we were married ten minutes.

"What does that matter? You were married. Jasper loved you more than anything. If he saw you lying here wasting away, he'd be furious."

That did it. My anger finally crashed through the numb layer I'd protected myself with. I was on my feet and in Edward's face before I knew what I was doing. I screamed at him without censoring.

"God damn you, Edward! You don't have any idea what it's like to lose your soul mate."

Emmett huffed and grasped my shoulders, roughly shaking me. My teeth rattled and I did glare this time.

"We would if you'd talk to us! The only way we even know you're alive is because we can see you breathing."

"Maybe that's because I don't feel alive anymore!"

They glanced at each other and turned back to stare at me, waiting for me to speak.

"The best part of me died when he did. I feel like half of me just disappeared and the rest is…"

"Dying too," Emmett said, enfolding me in a hug. I was shocked for a second at the contact, then held onto my brother will all my strength. I broke down when I felt Edward doing the same from behind and all my sadness broke through for the first time since I'd found out.

I sobbed until I couldn't anymore, taking a deep hitching breath and moving away from my brothers slightly. My eyes scanned the dark room and saw the rest of our…my family standing in or around the doorway. I smiled slightly and opened my arms to them. Esme was the first to try to strangle me, hissing in my ear.

"Don't you ever do that to me again, do you understand?"

"Yes, Mom. I'm sorry"

She pulled back and I nearly flinched as I met Carlisle's gaze.

"You worried your mother and I half to death, young lady. It had better not happen again."

I threw my arms around his neck, smiling lightly as I felt his arms grip me just as tightly.

"Sorry, Dad."

Each of the rest of my siblings came forward and embraced me, giving me similar lectures and (in Rosalie's case) threats. Surprisingly, I felt a chuckle bubble up in my throat as she glared down at me. Despite that, I felt the need to apologize to my family again.

"I'm really sorry I worried you all so much. I just…I couldn't talk to anyone who knew him because I knew you'd want to talk about him. I couldn't, so I shut myself off. Eddie and Emmie made me realize this was only hurting everyone more than it should. I hope you can forgive me."

My brothers both glared at me. Oops…sorry…Eddie. I grinned as he growled at me, which set Emmett off, which then caused Esme to scold both of them, which finally made me grin more. Things are finally starting to get better. I think I may actually survive this…maybe.

After that day, the family made me face what had happened and helped me through the inevitable emotional landslide it brought out. They each helped me deal in their own way and kept me sane after my husband's death. Having them to help me was a miracle, but what made the whole thing ideal was they healed a bit, too, as they were healing me.

Esme and Carlisle were both caring and listened to me for hours, holding me as I fell apart. Emmett was his normal boisterous self, pulling me into the game room and playing endless hours of video games to take my mind off my grief. Rose and Allie took me shopping, calling it retail therapy. Edward was always the one to listen to me when I needed to talk and then gave me advice about how to deal with whatever problem it might be.

Regardless, each day I felt the throbbing hole in my heart and soul where Jasper should be. Nothing that anyone did lessened that pain. Most of the time, it only just barely took my mind off it. I didn't know how to make it go away and it made me think that I'd be in this lonely painful place the rest of my existence.

One sunny day had been particularly painful. We were all pent up at home because of the whole sparkling thing, so each of the couples had found something to do with each other. I didn't begrudge them their happiness, but it made the ache in my heart even stronger. I tried to concentrate on the book I'd chosen, but as I heard Em and Rose start to do what they do best when in each other's company, I lost it a little.

Without thinking, I threw the book down and bolted out of the room and out the front door. I heard someone yelling at me from the house, but I kept running. I had to get away or I'd be insane by the time the sun went down. Not watching the scenery, I got as far away as I could.

I suddenly felt the need to stop and did so. My eyes looked around and saw the clearing where Jasper had saved me from the psycho vampire. I gasped, my knees giving out as I realized this was one of the last places I'd seen my love alive. My nose even pretended that it could smell him. My mind perked at the scent, then halted when the rational side took over. It's not him. He's gone…not here. I let my eyes flutter close as the wave of pain threatened to drown me.

I'm still not sure how long I sat there immobile. The whole time I could smell him as if he were right in front of me and kept telling myself I was crazy. Memories of us together ran through my head as I hugged my knees and rested my forehead on them. My body ached for him at the memory of our first night together. I craved the taste of his lips. His clever mind…that accent…the hair that was always in his golden eyes…I needed him.

My eyes opened as I tried to fight off the pain. I screamed out loud when I saw Jasper standing right in front of me. I was frozen for a second, feeling whole for the first time in months knowing he'd come back to me. I ran to him, blinked and came to a stop in front of where he had been standing moments before…and stared into nothingness. The pain came rushing back, nearly bringing me to my knees again. Calling his name, I looked around frantically. Okay…I can't find him…Emmett and Edward can help me find him! I turned and bolted for the house.

Esme was standing on the porch looking angrier than I'd ever seen her.

"Samantha Jo Whitlock! What on Earth did you think you were doing? Someone could have seen you!"

"Mom! I just saw Jasper! Isn't that great? He ran away, though. I need Edward and Emmett to help me find him! Hey, Emmie, Eddie! Come here!"

Esme stared at me, shocked. Em came out of the house yelling at me, while Edward followed, his expression matching Esme. I shook my head, clapping to get Emmett's attention.

"Em, shut up! I need your help to find Jasper. I just saw him, but he ran away. You and Edward have to help me find him."

Now I had three vampires staring at me like I had just cut myself in two and sewn myself back together in front of their eyes. I impatiently sighed, tapping my foot against the ground.

"Come on, guys, let's go!"

Edward slowly came toward me, putting his hands up like he was being arrested.

"Sam…you didn't see Jasper. He's dead."

I was suddenly furious.

"He is NOT dead! I just saw him, moron! You have to help me find him!"

They continued to stare at me…and my sanity slowly came back to me.

"Oh, my God! I'm hallucinating now, too? This is fan-fucking-tastic!"

Shockingly, Esme said nothing about my vulgar language as I shoved past them into the house. I quickly ran up the stairs, locking myself in our…my bedroom. Dry eyed and angry with myself, I flopped down onto the bed. What's next? Will I start seeing little green aliens chasing me everywhere I go? I ranted at myself like this for a long time, but one thought always stuck in my head: seeing Jasper again had been the best feeling in the world; I knew I had to feel that again.

For the next week, I kept going back to the spot where I'd "seen" Jasper, hoping to do so again. I needed to see him, to take the ache away like seeing him had done before. Each time I came back to the house disappointed and heartbroken all over again. But, like the addict that I was, I refused to give up on getting the high I got from seeing his beautiful face. Even addicts know when to quit, though. I decided that I'd go one last time and if I didn't "see" Jasper again, I'd give up.

My quick exit caused a chorus of groans to come from the house behind me. My family had been extremely against trying to bring on these hallucinations, especially after I came back to the house broken every time I tried. I ignored them and ran toward our spot, the wind whipping my face. I loved it, but was eager to get to our place. As I got closer, my thoughts turned to Jasper.

This happened often when I sat waiting for him. My memories were my company during these vigils. I smiled as they flitted through my head, finally arriving in the clearing. I sat down in the middle, laying on my back and staring at the gray sky above me.

It had been just like this on our wedding day. I sighed, my eyes closing as the memory of those last few seconds together ran through my head and the aching hole opened itself wide. I swore I could feel his hands grasping mine, bringing them to his lips.

I sighed in contentment and pushed away the pain, letting myself sink deeper into the fantasy. I imagined that I felt his cool fingers on my brow, trailing their way down my cheeks and hesitating before touching my lips. They parted under the "touch" and that was when I made myself stop dreaming. Reluctantly, I opened my eyes and jolted at the face I saw above me. I was again frozen as I gazed upon Jasper's face.

"Why are you so sad, missy?"

Oh, my God! My hallucinations talk now? This is AWESOME! Can I talk back?

"Jasper?"

"Yes…are you all right? You are really pale all of a sudden."

I nodded weakly, a million questions running through my head. The most important spilled from my lips.

"Are you real?"

His chuckle sent shivers up and down my spine.

"Yes, ma'am. You never did answer my question."

I shook my head to clear it as I sat up.

"What was your question?"

"Why are you so sad?"

I looked at him incredulously.

"Duh! I thought you were dead!"

"What? I'm sorry, but…do I know you?"

Anger ran through me then, unchecked and reflected back at me by his power.

"Damn you, Jasper! What the hell kind of game do you think you're playing with me?"

"I am not playing a game, woman! Are you crazy?"

"Probably. That's not the point. You know me, Jasper. You love me. I'm your wife!"

He looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Oh, God. He really doesn't know me. He regained his composure, the cold mask slipping over his face. My Jasper was gone as he drew up his chin and looked down his nose at me.

"I've never seen you before in my life. If I had, I certainly wouldn't have married such an uncouth woman!"

His words demolished the heart he'd rebuilt with his presence. My breathing suddenly bordered on hyperventilation. I dizzily swayed, trying to find purchase. Wow…I didn't know vampires could get dizzy. His hand suddenly gripped mine again.

"You are not all right. I need to get you home. Where do you live?"

Accepting that he really didn't remember, I recited directions as he helped me to my feet.

"Okay. I want you to hold on to me until I can get you back."

I did as he asked and he ran me back to the house in a flash. My eyes registered the fact that the whole family was standing on the porch as we approached. Esme saw him first and ran toward us. She was hugging him before he could catch her, taking all of us into a heap on the ground. I let my head fall back in frustration as I watched the rest of our family's feet speed toward us.

"Jasper, you're alive! Where have you been?"

"Esme! I'm…not sure."

The rest of his reply was cut off when the rest of the family pounced on him. So, I'm the only one he doesn't remember, then. That's just my shitty luck.

Songs for the chapter: Broken-Lifehouse, Still Life-Bryan White & Prodigal-OneRepublic

Okay...that was the first chapter to the much anticipated sequel to Exile. How are you guys liking Anodyne so far? I'm betting you're alternating between jumping up and down in your chair because Jazz is still alive and yelling at the monitor because he has no memory of our (and his) Samantha. Review; give me a piece of your mind, good or bad. In return, you shall get a preview of chapter 2, which is finished (along with two more chapters and one in progress). Thanks for sticking! Samantha