Suoh Yuzuru attempted to look stern as he gazed at his only son, who was seated on the couch across from him. Tamaki looked like the very image of a young, intelligent, sophisticated heir, sitting as he was with a politely inquisitive look on his handsome features. However, Yuzuru knew only too well the mind that lay behind those sparkling, purple eyes, for the child had inherited the same playfulness as his father. That would undoubtedly make this conversation all the more difficult.
"Tamaki, now that you have been all but recognized as the official Suoh heir, there are a few important duties of which I need to inform you," Yuzuru began. Tamaki nodded to show he was listening. "One of those is to, ah, make a family," the Suoh patriarch said awkwardly. To his surprise, Tamaki broke into a genuine smile and laughed.
"Don't worry," he assured his father, leaning forward and resting his chin in his hands. "I've already done that." Yuzuru blinked. Then he blinked again. Perhaps Tamaki did not quite understand what he meant.
"Ah, Tamaki, I am referring to the duty to raise a child or two…" he attempted to explain.
"Yeah," Tamaki said. "I've already done all that. What else did you want to talk about?"
"You… have?" Yuzuru asked dimly. He had not thought that Tamaki, born of wedlock himself, would need the concept of protection explained to him. Tamaki's eager, innocent nod did not reassure him. "Then who is the mother?" he asked weakly.
"Kyouya," Tamaki answered promptly. Well, that fit, considering that Kyouya was Tamaki's best—wait, Kyouya? Yuzuru's train of thought derailed and crashed into the tunnel walls. It sat there smoking while Yuzuru gathered the fragmented pieces of his world together.
"Huh?" the Suoh patriarch asked inelegantly.
"Kyouya is Mom in the family I made," Tamaki said slowly. "Are you okay, Dad? You look really pale."
"I'm fine, I think," Yuzuru said, raising a hand to his head. "But how does that even work… scientifically?" he asked plaintively. Had the fundamental laws of biology changed since he was in high school? The Ootori were medical after all. Perhaps they had just spliced their genes or something?
"What are you talking about?" Tamaki asked, sounding slightly frustrated. "Do you need me to call a doctor?"
"No, I'll be alright," Yuzuru said as calmly as he could manage. "I just did not realize that you and Kyouya-kun were so, ah, close."
"Kyouya is my best friend in the entire universe!" Tamaki said emphatically, the sophisticated image crumpling to reveal the hyper personality within. "Of course we are close. I thought you knew that, Dad."
"You thought I knew?" Yuzuru repeated, dumbfounded.
"I go to his house all the time and we founded the Host Club together, after all. We always took trips when we were on break back in middle school and I told you he was teaching me about Japanese culture. We study for school together…" Yuzuru tuned his son's babbling out and tried to concentrate.
"Perhaps it is not so bad to merge the Ootori and Suoh lines after all," he mused aloud. "Tamaki, may I meet this grandchild of mine?"
"I thought you already met her, Dad, at the Ouran festival, remember?" Tamaki said.
"Her?" Yuzuru asked. His world, halfway rebuilt, fell off the scaffolding and landed in a heap of dust on the floor. He did not recall meeting any small children at the festival, though truthfully he had been rather preoccupied with his mother, Éclair, and Yoshio's struggles with Grand Tonnerre. He thought he would have remembered meeting his own granddaughter though…
"Yeah, Fujioka Haruhi," Tamaki said, tilting his head. "You were being awfully friendly to my cute daughter, you know," he said with a pout, pulling his knees to his chest and crossing his arms on top of them.
Somewhere inside Yuzuru's mind, a plug slid in a socket with a click.
"It was a game. It was all a game," he mumbled, blindly stumbling to his desk and reaching for the headache medication in the top drawer. "Tamaki, I am going to kill you!" he said, rounding on his son.
"Wah! What did I do?" Tamaki asked, jumping in panic.
In the end, Yuzuru still did not know if he got his point across. Tamaki left happily enough, whether or not he still had any misconceptions about his duty as the Suoh heir. Yuzuru, though still somewhat off-balance, had one thing firm in his mind. If Tamaki still did not understand what was required of him regarding marriage and children, Yuzuru would his let his mother explain to her grandson what was expected of him. That should be a suitable revenge for making him leave Tamaki's mother behind in France.