The words that he said were still lingering in the air. She could still feel the ringing sensation in her ears. The last words he said before closing the door and walking out of her life that instant. It felt like a dream, so surreal. She never imagined that he would have to say those words to her, like it was her fault that they had to break up. She was always pushing him away but the truth was that she couldn't bear to tell him her true emotions. Too many times he had been so kind to her and yet she felt like he was trying to take advantage. The little misunderstandings left unresolved which lead to the awkward silences. Perhaps she was right. She was to be blamed for their relationship to be torn apart. Even if the third party hadn't come into the picture, they might still have to go their separate ways.
The pain she felt was almost unbearable. It was as if the walls were caving in on her and she was trapped under the rubble. So this was how a heart-break felt like. The memories of the time spent with him felt just like yesterday. Like the time they went to eat at the Korean restaurant, or the time when he gave her a ride on his motorbike. There were times when she felt that he was so annoying yet at other times really kind and gentle. It would be the first and last time that she would see him get so angry that he left her and never returned today. She wasn't expecting him to show up at her house after all they hadn't been going out since the arrival of the new staff member, Yadomaru Lisa. That woman was also his ex.
"What are you doing here?" "I need to talk to you. Can I come in?" She hesitated for a second before stepping aside to let him enter. "I won't take up much of your time. I just want to clarify some things." She could tell the seriousness of the matter from the tone of his voice. "Alright, let me get something for you to drink. Please take a seat first." she said and disappeared into the kitchen. After a few minutes, she returned to the living room and placed a cup of coffee on the table in front of him. "So… what was it that you wanted to talk about?" she asked and sat at the opposite side of the table facing him.
He took a sip from the cup and said:"How have you been?" "Eh? I'm doing fine." "I see. That's good." What's up with him? Asking me such a question and looking at me with that kind of eyes. It's like he's trying to search my soul for an answer, she thought. After what seemed like eternity, he asked "What if I said that I would like to start over with Lisa again? Would you let me?" "Why do you say that? What kind of a question is that?" "I just want to know what your answer is." The earnestness in his voice flustered Nanao that she got up from her seat and started pacing around. "Well, I would not agree, if the two of you got back together." "Then," he stood up and made his way towards her. "Do you love me?" She stopped in her tracks the moment she heard those words.
Do I? I've never questioned myself of my feelings for him before. Do I love him? Her mind was still reeling when he repeated the question. When she looked at him, she saw anger in his eyes for the first time, and she was afraid. Frustrated because he couldn't get an answer, Shunsui picked up the cup and drank some coffee to calm his nerves. "Sorry… I'm sorry..." Upon hearing the words that he dreaded, he threw the cup against the wall in a fury. "Why did you apologize? That's not what I wanted to hear. Three words that's all I want." He said her. She was crouching in the corner of the room whimpering in fear. This wasn't the outcome he wanted from his visit. It pained him to see her cry but he was just anxious to know how she felt about him. "If I don't get an answer by the count of 10, it's over." He told her then proceeded to count. The pressure was mounting as the numbers grew smaller. "6… 5…" Why is it so hard to say those three words? "2… 1…" "It's over, Nanao. It's over." "Why must you do this to me? You are so cruel." She cried out. "Cruel? Me? It should be you rather than me. Why must I continue to be tormented by your silence? It has always been and will always be a one-sided love for us. And I don't think it will change." He said and headed towards the door. Before he closed it, he said those last words. "Goodbye Nanao. It's over."
She was left sitting on the floor with the broken pieces of the cup. The aroma of coffee filled the whole house and the remainder coffee splashed on the floor was slowly seeping into the rug. The smell lingered on into the night even after she had fallen asleep.