This chapter takes place three days after Bella's cliff dive, it's a little sad. Enjoy!!!
Jacob stood in front of the small mirror in his room and tried to perfect his tie. He tried to block everything out and focus on the small mundane task of fixing his black silk tie. He heard his fathers chair roll along the creaky floor boards outside his bedroom door and then a knock.
"Go away" Jacob mumbled, focusing on the tie. His father ignored his request and opened the door.
"Son, we should get going" He said from the doorway
"The funeral..."Jacobs face tightened and Billy paused "Well, it starts at four" he finished quietly; trying to catch his sons eye
"see ya by the car" he said and rolled away from his son. Jacob wiped his eyes and looked at his wonky tie, sighed and took it off altogether. He wished he could do the same with his guilt.
Charlie Swan stood at the entrance of the small church, a straight face plastered on his face. He thanked all the people who came to pay their respects as they came through the door. Mr and Mrs Newton came through the entrance followed by their son, Mike.
"How're you holding up?" Mrs Newton said softly.
"I'm trying" Charlie replied sadly. It was the truth. He was trying not to cry, trying not to yell, trying not to tell all the people in the church to go away, go home. Because Charlie didn't want to share her, not even her memory, with anyone. Not even Renee who was sobbing into Phil's shoulder, blaming herself for letting Bella move to forks in the first place. Music began to play, soft sad music that Charlie couldn't even recognise even though he and Renee had chosen it. He moved towards the front pews and sat down beside Phil and Renee.
Renee reached out her hand towards his and held it tight Charlie turned to see everyone settle in their pews. Neither he nor Bella were religious but Renee had insisted on the church so he obliged. He watched Jacob push his father in his wheel chair into the church and settle in the back. Even though everyone was seated and the ceremony was about to begin, Charlie let go of his ex wife's hand and stood up. He walked towards Jacob and Billy and took the handles of Billy's chair.
"Jacob, you and billy should sit up front" He said softly. "You made Bella happy, you were a much her family as I am."
Jacob nodded silently and stood up, following his father and Bella's to the front pew, he sat down.
ThThe coffin was carried by 6 boys from Bella's classes, Jacob recognised one, Mike but the others remained strangers. Jacob was offered the opportunity to be a coffin bearer but declined, feeling to upset at the time to even consider the funeral, as did Bella's immediate family, so the responsibility fell to her distant friends at school, who were reluctant but obliged as not to disrespect Bella or her family. They lay the dark wooden casket on the stand just below the podium where the priest stood.
He began to speak; quoting the bible Jacob assumed but couldn't focus on the voice to understand what it was saying. It was just a ring, and long ringing that rose and fell in volume like waves in his ears until he noticed everyone standing and he stood shakily, as all the people in the small church sung, their words were even more indecipherable than the priests and all Jacob could see was the coffin, what was Bella.
He mimicked everyone's movements, he stood with everyone, forced laughter with everyone and was silent with everyone but he could not take his eyes of the casket, not until the six boys rose and took their places beside the coffin and picked it up, blocking Jacob's view. He realised the service was over, all the eulogies and prayers were done. Everything people could say about Bella had been said, and now it was time for the burial.
Charlie rode to the cemetery with Renee and Phil in their hire car, Phil drove. The emotion in the car was so thick it could be breathed in and filled Charlie's lungs, heart and brain until it was almost painful. He had said his brief eulogy, focusing more on the toddler Bella was than the teen, he felt like he knew child and the teenager was a stranger. He hadn't the slightest idea about what she was doing, how she was feeling. He felt maybe if he had, if he somehow looked harder and tried harder to get to know her, how she was feeling after that Cullen boy left, this wouldn't have happened.
As the car approached the cemetery, Charlie felt nauseated; he knew it was his fault that he was here. That he was going to leave his only daughter here. It was because he was a bad father or that he didn't try hard enough. As he slid out of the car and slammed the door, his guilt over his bad parent made him want to dive into the neatly dug hole that would serve as his daughter's grave and yell out "Take me! It was my fault! Give her back and take me!" He had never much believed in God but he was desperate and would bargain with Satan himself to get his daughter back, to relieve him of his nagging guilt.
The group of Bella's family, schoolmates, teachers and friends stood around the grave each holding a bright yellow daffodil. One by one they stepped forward, Renee first, Charlie next and then others followed. Each throwing their small yellow flower into the hole followed by a goodbye, some tear choked, very few elaborate. Bella kept to herself, not many people knew her well. The person who knew her the best did not throw a daffodil into the grave, did not get to say goodbye and did not get to be in the crowd of people surrounding Bella for the last time.
Instead Edward Cullen lurked in the trees by the graveyard, his enhanced vision allowing him to see every tear and every petal of every daffodil and his "special" ability allowing him to hear every sad thought, even the occasional bored thought and several guilty thoughts radiating from Charlie, Renee and Jacob. Each blaming themselves for something that was in no way their fault, at least in the first two brains.
Hearing Jacobs guilty thought made Edward stiffen with rage. He wanted to kill the werewolf for being so careless, for not protecting Bella. But he was even more infuriated with himself, for not protecting her the way only a vampire can, for leaving her depressed enough to turn to a werewolf, for leaving her in the first place, shortening his time with her.
In his rage and grief, Edward failed to hear the slight movement of trees to the left of him, to smell the familiar scent he had been tracking for weeks. Victoria watched the burial through the trees, seeing exactly what she wanted out of the corner of her eye, Edward broken. Satisfied, she ran off towards the forest, she had heard hikers and was hungry.
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