Laguna's Second Love.
Author's note: There's gonna be a little swearing and some innuendo in the story, but you can handle that right? Anyway, I dedicate this story to Cloud, for giving me this idea. I also dedicate it to all those people who write horrible FF8 romance fics. All characters involved in this story are copyright square.
Squall and Selphie walked down the halls of Balamb Garden. Since they had gotten together, everything just seemed so right in the world. However, today they were going to the quad to meet the other couples. "Squally, Are you happy with me?" Selphie asked. Squall thought for a second and then nodded. "Good! Booyaka!" Selphie shouted.
A few minutes later, and they reached the Quad. Irvine was sitting under the shade of a tree being fed grapes by Rinoa. Zell and Fuijin were in a corner mock-fighting. Finally, Seifer and Quistis were playing chess.
"Well, if it isn't Mr. Sunshine." Seifer said drolly. This produced a giggle from Quistis, who then recieved a glare from both Squall and Selphie.
"He's just angry that Zell keeps kicking his butt." Rinoa said, not looking up from her grape peeling. "More like he's angry that we all can kick his butt." Irvine said with a stupid grin. Seifer was visibly flustered and decided to keep his mouth shut for the time being. Soon, he would have his ultimate weapon and limit break, and then who'd be laughing?
Anyway, Zell and Fuijin had finished their sparring match and walked over. "Oh yeah! I Rule!" Zell shouted as he began to shadow box. Fuijin only sighed and sat down. "Having fun?" Quistis asked the once member of Seifer's goon squad. "YES." Fuijin replied. "ZELL, COME." Zell stopped his practice and walked over. "Yes honey?" He asked. "SODAS. NOW." Fuijin replied as she pointed at a nearby vendor. Zell nodded and trotted off. "Wow, You trained him good." Quistis replied. "HE'S MY BITCH." Fuijin said with a smile. Quistis couldn't help but break out laughing, as did everyone else assembled. "So Quistis, Who wears the pants in your relationship?" Selphie asked, still not fully recovered from Fuijin's comment. Seifer was about to say something, but Quistis pulled out her 'Save the Queen' and he quickly shut his trap.
Just as Zell returned with his sodas, Laguna showed up. Even though he was almost fifty, he still garnered lustful looks from every female assembled except Rinoa, who was too busy feeding Irvine grapes.
"Hey son, How're ya doin'?!" Laguna said as he gave Squall a hug. Squall pried himself off. "I'm still here." Squall replied as he sat down. "Seeing all of you like this brings tears to my eyes. I remember when I was your age and fell in love..." Laguna said as he smiled.
"With Julia right?" Rinoa asked as she looked up. "Well, she was my first love, and I'll never forget her." Laguna said with a smile. "And then the mother of my Squally-poo Raine right?" Selphie chimed in. "Actually no, Raine was the third love of my life. But she was wonderful as well." Laguna replied. "Well, who was the second?" Quistis asked. "Well, that's a long story, and if Ellione was here, she'd be able to send you back to view it first-hand, but she's not se she can't."
"Get to the story old man." Seifer said, a mite annoyed because Quistis has bested him in chess for the third time today. "All right, all right. Keep your shirt on young man, and I do mean that." Laguna said, producing a laugh from everyone assembled, except Seifer.
"It was about twenty five years ago. I had just joined on the writing staff of timber maniacs and was being sent on my first interview ever..."
After saying this, the world began to get wavy and Irvine yelled "We've got Flashback!" All the teens began to run around until they eventually faded.
(When the scene once again re-appeared, everyone was sitting in a theatre, while Laguna was missing.)
"This is getting odd..." Quistis said as she scratched her head. "Hey, at least it's with the times. Normal flashback sequences are boring." Zell replied as he picked up a box of popcorn. Fuijin then grabbed a large handful and began munching loudly. "Quiet." Squall said as he pointed to the screen. In rather Large letters, it displayed 'Laguna's second Love.'
"Wouldn't it be the third? You know, Julia, His right hand, then his mysterious third love?" Irvine chimed in. This got a snicker from those assembled.
'When I was a lad of twenty-six, I joined the magazine Timber Maniacs.' A voice-over (Which sounded like laguna) said.
"Join the timber maniacs they said... See the world they said... I had the chance to kill two pigs with one stone." Zell said, doing his best Laguna impression.
'Anyway, My first interview was with the founder of Garden himself.' Laguna said, then the scene shifted to Balamb Garden as it was 25 years ago.
"Wonderful, a movie about Lardo himself." Rinoa said. "Yeah, if this is gonna be a five hour movie about Cid, I'm outta here." Quistis replied.
'But Cid wasn't home that day. His wife was though.' Laguna continued. The scene changed to Laguna talking to Edea.
"WHOA!" Fuijin said. "LAGUNA AND EDEA." "I never thought he had it in him..." Squall said as he hung his head in shame.
'She was quite good looking, but unfortunately she was also spoken for. After interviewing her, She informed me that Garden recieved funding from an outside source. Some Shumi named NORG. So, I set off to find this NORG.'
"Aww, man. I wanted to see Laguna and Edea get it on..." Zell said, a little disappointed. "QUIET. WATCHING." Fuijin replied as she smacked Zell soundly on the head.
'Anyway, in an underground garden, I found NORG sitting on what could best be describled as a throne.'
"Heh, NORG's on the throne. Bet he's taking a dump." Seifer said with a smirk. Even Squall smiled at this comment.
'He was imposing. At least a good fifteen or twenty feet tall. Just being in that man's presence was awesome.'
"I'll agree with that." Quistis began. "It was awesome, until he threatened to kill us." "Yeah, But I got levithan from him!" Zell said.
'He was reluctant to give me an interview, but eventually I prevailed. He seemed to be a smart individual. After all, Eventually he'd have his own personal commando force in every nation.'
"Soon I will Rule the world! Muhahahaha!" Rinoa said, trying to do an impression of NORG.
'But as I talked to him, I noticed that he was looking at me and licking his lips.'
"Let's hope that Norg wants to devour Laguna..." Seifer said. "Amen to that..." Irvine replied.
'Could we get back to the interview? Was what I asked him. He responded by saying that we should take the interview to someplace more Private.'
"OH...MY....GOD...." Fuijin said, her mouth agape. "Your Pops'd bonk anything, wouldn't he?" Seifer asked as he turned to Squall. Squall responded by throwing his shoe at Seifer.
'The night we spent together was wonderful, and to this day, I could never forget it.'
"Get me out of here..." Squall said. "That's just wrong man..." Irvine added. "Agreed." Zell said.
'And that's the story of my second love.'
(With that, the scene once returned to the Garden Quad.)
"Norg was so good to me..." Laguna said. He didn't notice everyone else laughing at Squall, who had murder in his eyes and his gunblade in his hands.
The End.
Author's note: There's gonna be a little swearing and some innuendo in the story, but you can handle that right? Anyway, I dedicate this story to Cloud, for giving me this idea. I also dedicate it to all those people who write horrible FF8 romance fics. All characters involved in this story are copyright square.
Squall and Selphie walked down the halls of Balamb Garden. Since they had gotten together, everything just seemed so right in the world. However, today they were going to the quad to meet the other couples. "Squally, Are you happy with me?" Selphie asked. Squall thought for a second and then nodded. "Good! Booyaka!" Selphie shouted.
A few minutes later, and they reached the Quad. Irvine was sitting under the shade of a tree being fed grapes by Rinoa. Zell and Fuijin were in a corner mock-fighting. Finally, Seifer and Quistis were playing chess.
"Well, if it isn't Mr. Sunshine." Seifer said drolly. This produced a giggle from Quistis, who then recieved a glare from both Squall and Selphie.
"He's just angry that Zell keeps kicking his butt." Rinoa said, not looking up from her grape peeling. "More like he's angry that we all can kick his butt." Irvine said with a stupid grin. Seifer was visibly flustered and decided to keep his mouth shut for the time being. Soon, he would have his ultimate weapon and limit break, and then who'd be laughing?
Anyway, Zell and Fuijin had finished their sparring match and walked over. "Oh yeah! I Rule!" Zell shouted as he began to shadow box. Fuijin only sighed and sat down. "Having fun?" Quistis asked the once member of Seifer's goon squad. "YES." Fuijin replied. "ZELL, COME." Zell stopped his practice and walked over. "Yes honey?" He asked. "SODAS. NOW." Fuijin replied as she pointed at a nearby vendor. Zell nodded and trotted off. "Wow, You trained him good." Quistis replied. "HE'S MY BITCH." Fuijin said with a smile. Quistis couldn't help but break out laughing, as did everyone else assembled. "So Quistis, Who wears the pants in your relationship?" Selphie asked, still not fully recovered from Fuijin's comment. Seifer was about to say something, but Quistis pulled out her 'Save the Queen' and he quickly shut his trap.
Just as Zell returned with his sodas, Laguna showed up. Even though he was almost fifty, he still garnered lustful looks from every female assembled except Rinoa, who was too busy feeding Irvine grapes.
"Hey son, How're ya doin'?!" Laguna said as he gave Squall a hug. Squall pried himself off. "I'm still here." Squall replied as he sat down. "Seeing all of you like this brings tears to my eyes. I remember when I was your age and fell in love..." Laguna said as he smiled.
"With Julia right?" Rinoa asked as she looked up. "Well, she was my first love, and I'll never forget her." Laguna said with a smile. "And then the mother of my Squally-poo Raine right?" Selphie chimed in. "Actually no, Raine was the third love of my life. But she was wonderful as well." Laguna replied. "Well, who was the second?" Quistis asked. "Well, that's a long story, and if Ellione was here, she'd be able to send you back to view it first-hand, but she's not se she can't."
"Get to the story old man." Seifer said, a mite annoyed because Quistis has bested him in chess for the third time today. "All right, all right. Keep your shirt on young man, and I do mean that." Laguna said, producing a laugh from everyone assembled, except Seifer.
"It was about twenty five years ago. I had just joined on the writing staff of timber maniacs and was being sent on my first interview ever..."
After saying this, the world began to get wavy and Irvine yelled "We've got Flashback!" All the teens began to run around until they eventually faded.
(When the scene once again re-appeared, everyone was sitting in a theatre, while Laguna was missing.)
"This is getting odd..." Quistis said as she scratched her head. "Hey, at least it's with the times. Normal flashback sequences are boring." Zell replied as he picked up a box of popcorn. Fuijin then grabbed a large handful and began munching loudly. "Quiet." Squall said as he pointed to the screen. In rather Large letters, it displayed 'Laguna's second Love.'
"Wouldn't it be the third? You know, Julia, His right hand, then his mysterious third love?" Irvine chimed in. This got a snicker from those assembled.
'When I was a lad of twenty-six, I joined the magazine Timber Maniacs.' A voice-over (Which sounded like laguna) said.
"Join the timber maniacs they said... See the world they said... I had the chance to kill two pigs with one stone." Zell said, doing his best Laguna impression.
'Anyway, My first interview was with the founder of Garden himself.' Laguna said, then the scene shifted to Balamb Garden as it was 25 years ago.
"Wonderful, a movie about Lardo himself." Rinoa said. "Yeah, if this is gonna be a five hour movie about Cid, I'm outta here." Quistis replied.
'But Cid wasn't home that day. His wife was though.' Laguna continued. The scene changed to Laguna talking to Edea.
"WHOA!" Fuijin said. "LAGUNA AND EDEA." "I never thought he had it in him..." Squall said as he hung his head in shame.
'She was quite good looking, but unfortunately she was also spoken for. After interviewing her, She informed me that Garden recieved funding from an outside source. Some Shumi named NORG. So, I set off to find this NORG.'
"Aww, man. I wanted to see Laguna and Edea get it on..." Zell said, a little disappointed. "QUIET. WATCHING." Fuijin replied as she smacked Zell soundly on the head.
'Anyway, in an underground garden, I found NORG sitting on what could best be describled as a throne.'
"Heh, NORG's on the throne. Bet he's taking a dump." Seifer said with a smirk. Even Squall smiled at this comment.
'He was imposing. At least a good fifteen or twenty feet tall. Just being in that man's presence was awesome.'
"I'll agree with that." Quistis began. "It was awesome, until he threatened to kill us." "Yeah, But I got levithan from him!" Zell said.
'He was reluctant to give me an interview, but eventually I prevailed. He seemed to be a smart individual. After all, Eventually he'd have his own personal commando force in every nation.'
"Soon I will Rule the world! Muhahahaha!" Rinoa said, trying to do an impression of NORG.
'But as I talked to him, I noticed that he was looking at me and licking his lips.'
"Let's hope that Norg wants to devour Laguna..." Seifer said. "Amen to that..." Irvine replied.
'Could we get back to the interview? Was what I asked him. He responded by saying that we should take the interview to someplace more Private.'
"OH...MY....GOD...." Fuijin said, her mouth agape. "Your Pops'd bonk anything, wouldn't he?" Seifer asked as he turned to Squall. Squall responded by throwing his shoe at Seifer.
'The night we spent together was wonderful, and to this day, I could never forget it.'
"Get me out of here..." Squall said. "That's just wrong man..." Irvine added. "Agreed." Zell said.
'And that's the story of my second love.'
(With that, the scene once returned to the Garden Quad.)
"Norg was so good to me..." Laguna said. He didn't notice everyone else laughing at Squall, who had murder in his eyes and his gunblade in his hands.
The End.