Oh look, my first Divergent fanfiction. This idea came to me one night while I was trying to sleep and its just stuck with me. So, I decided to write it out. This is set in the 'in-between year', as I've noticed a lot of people calling it. Reviews are appreciated.

From where I lay on the floor in my room, I can just barely make out my mother's voice. It's muffled and I can't quite catch what she said, but it got my sister to laugh. If this had been any other night, I would be down there with them; I'd be curled up on the couch, watching as they flipped through some random book from the shelf and point to objects on the page that stuck out to them.

But it's not just any night. It's the night before the Choosing Ceremony. Tomorrow will be the day in which every thing will change. Tomorrow I will no longer wear blue and seek knowledge.

Instead, I will dress in black and walk among the brave.

The results of my test had followed me throughout the entire day; that nine letter word my administrator whispered echoed through my mind over and over. The simulation haunted me as well. Every time my eyes closed, I could feel the weight of the knife in my left hand and could hear the growl of the dog as it prepared to attack.

My stomach would churn when I recalled the cry of the child as she stared at my blood covered hands. I don't feel bad for lying to her. I feel bad that the lie came so easily.

"Ana?"

Despite how soft the voice is, I still jump. Pushing myself into a sitting position, I can faintly make out my mother's pirouette in the doorway. "What are you doing on the floor?" She questions, widening the door to allow more of the hallway light to flood in.

"I'm on the floor? I could have swore I was on the ceiling."

The look on her face is a look of disapproval. Sarcasm is seen as illogical in the eyes of the Erudite and very much frowned upon.

Sometimes, I'm too sarcastic for my own good. This is one of those times.

With a sigh, I pull myself from the ground and move to sit on the bed. She joins me a moment later, her hands folding in her lap as she sits. In the silence that settles between us, I realize the rest of the house is quiet as well. Elizabeth must have been sent to bed.

"Tomorrow," As soon as my mother begins to speak, she stops. She looks as if she's in deep thought, and maybe she is. A pang of guilt tears through my chest. Tomorrow, I will be leaving her. My mother will be losing her first born. But it is not just her loss. Elizabeth will be losing her older sister. My heart aches at this realization.

"I will love you no matter what happens tomorrow at the ceremony."

I can only nod. I do not trust my voice, fearing that it will fail me if I try to speak.

She rises slowly, presses a soft kiss to my forehead and then retreats into the wall, closing the door behind her.

"I love you too," I mumble into the darkness.

The next morning comes all too quickly and I find myself struggling to keep my eyes open as I take a seat at the kitchen table. My mother is saying something, but I can't hear her due to the sleep still fogging up my mind. I think she might have said something about pancakes, but I can't be too sure.

It's the sound of my sister's footsteps that drags me out of my sleep induced haze. Elizabeth rounds the corner a second later. Seeing her already showered and dressed for the day makes me wonder how long she's been up. Perhaps she didn't sleep at all. That would make two of us.

Mom sets a plate down in front of me, saying that I should eat before we leave. But I can't even bring myself to take just a bite. Instead, I return to my room and change out of my pajamas into standard Erudite wear; a white blouse, blue blazer and black slacks. I tug my hair back into a pony tail as I descend the stairs.

Like every other day, my mother stops me as I head out the door. It's always because of the same reason — I can never get my pony tail high enough.
Well, it's more because I don't want to; the higher the pony tail, the worse the headache.

It takes about a half an hour to get from Erudite Headquarters to the Hub by walking and about fifteen minutes by bus, depending on where else it needs to stop. I end up deciding that we should walk

I can tell it takes both my mother and Elizabeth by surprise. Normally, I'm all for taking the bus. But today, I want a little more time alone with them before I have to take my place among the other sixteen years at the ceremony.

As we walk, Elizabeth and our mother talk about the new research being funded by Jeanine Matthews. I try to submerge myself in the conversation, but I end up trying to count how many other Erudite are walking like us.

By time we've reached the Hub, I've counted about thirty other Erudite. There are more, I'm sure of it. I kind of lost count once or twice along the way.
The elevator ride to the twentieth floor is quiet, except for the small murmurings between the Amity who had gotten on after we did. I can't help but shuffle my feet as my teeth dig into my cheek. I absolutely hate elevators.

My first time in one was met with a two hour long emergency stop at the city's hospital. I was only six at the time. That was almost my first encounter with a pregnant woman.

The ding signifying that we've reached our destination is like music to my ears. I follow the pack of Amity into the room in which the ceremony will be held. It's constructed of three circles. The first is where we will stand, the sixteen years olds who will be choosing. The second is for our families who we may or may not leave. Lastly, the third encases the five faction bowls.

The faction in charge of this year's Choosing Ceremony is Amity. A woman stands within the last circle, conversing quietly with who I assume to be another faction's leader. She wears a long dress that swishes whenever she shifts her weight. The deep red fabric brings out the harsh scar on the side of her face. Her eyes suddenly meet mine from across the room and I turn my gaze to Elizabeth. We now stand in front of the Erudite seating section. My mother wears a small smile, one that makes me feel like she knows just whats about to happen.

"See you later, okay?" Elizabeth mumbles, pulling me into a hug. There will be no later and I know this, but I nod anyways and return the hug. I give my mother one last hug before sorting myself alphabetically in the line of soon-to-be-initiates.

Once everyone has settled, the Amity woman begins the ceremony. The speech she reads is long and my attention doesn't last. My eyes wander through the crowd, faction by faction, until they rest upon my small family. Elizabeth seems captivated by the speech, but my mother is looking straight at me.

I force a smile. I know she can see right through it.

As the speech comes to a close, I try counting the people standing before me. Many of them shift or are looking around, which makes it hard to count. There has to be at least twenty or so.

The Amity woman starts calling out names, reading from a small piece of paper in her hands. Most of the twenty before me stick to their born faction, as expected. A girl named Lydia is the first to transfer.

She was Erudite.

Now, she's Dauntless.

I remember seeing her around before. Mostly in the Erudite library. We always exchanged and recommended each other books, but never once did we talk.

The sound of my name being called out sends electric shocks through my body and I freeze in place. I meet the woman's eyes again, but this time, I cannot look away. Slowly, I push myself forward until I stand before her. She offers a small smile as I take the knife from her. I glance down to watch as the blade slices my skin, but I find myself staring at the Erudite and Dauntless bowls instead. They are situated right next to each other.

The water is cloudy red.

Blood chars on the lit coals.

I realize I'm not ready for this. My heart is racing in my chest and I have to force myself to breathe. I should have thought about this more last night. But I didn't. I was hell-bent on leaving home and joining Dauntless. Now, I was hesitating.

Erudite is my home. It's been my home for sixteen years. It could be my home for the rest of my life. It's where my family is, where they will always be. But I couldn't truly be me. I can't be sarcastic or wear my hair down the way I like. I have to be perfect. I have to be smart. Always state facts and always be right.

Yet, Dauntless is where I belong, according to my test. I could be myself there. Sarcastic and wrong and free.

It would be smart to hold my palm out over the cloudy water representing Erudite and return home with my family.

But it would be brave to let my blood sizzle on the lit coals and leave to face the unknown.

Am I smart or am I brave?

I am smart.

But I am also brave.

So very brave.