AN: This is my first SVU fic! I'm sorry if it sucks. So Forgiving Rollins literately killed me yesterday, after it took my heart out and stomped all over it. I watched it seven times today, whoops my bad. I had a snow day what do you expect! Okay anyway this fic takes place right after Patton rapes Amanda. I was thinking about what happen right before her transfer and this is what I got! Okay, enjoy! Please Review!
"Clean up for work tomorrow," Deputy Chief Patton slurred as he walked to the door. He was so drunk he was having trouble walking to the door. When he walked out he shut the door with a bang. Amanda lay on the bed staring at the ceiling. She was shaking but unable to move.
"Did I really just allow him to do that to me?" Amanda thought to herself. Amanda could not believe what had just happened. She never thought she could become a victim. She never thought she would allow a man to use her in that way. She never thought this could be her.
After what felt like an eternity Amanda got up slowly. She carefully walked into the hotel bathroom. Blood was everywhere. Amanda was in shock at how much blood there really was. It was dripping down her legs. It was around the big bite mark. There was blood dripping down her face from Patton pushing her head into the headboard. Her lip was also slit and bleeding. Amanda glanced at herself in the mirror. She winced at the sight. Amanda did not look at herself for a while after that, she was too disgusted.
Amanda took a deep breath to try and clam herself down. She ripped what was left of her cloths' off. They felt so dirty clinging to her skin. She just didn't want anything to touch her. Amanda stepped in the shower and turned the water on as hot as it would go. The scalding water burned Amanda's flesh. She didn't care. She felt as if his hands were permanently stained onto her skin. Maybe they would go away if she burned them. It didn't work. She could still feel him touching her. She felt so weak, so powerless but most of all so guilty. Amanda could handle every else it was the overwhelming sense of guilty that got to her. After all if she didn't agree to sleep with him than none of this would have happened.
Amanda watched as the water turned red and traveled down the drain. It seemed like something that only happened in movies.
Amanda jumped into the air when she heard a small knock at the door.
"Housekeeping!" a woman yelled.
"Come in, I was just leaving." Amanda said jumping out of the shower. She needed to get out of there, as far away as she could get. Amanda took a deep breath before getting dressed again. She did not want to put on those cloths again, but she really didn't have a choice. Amanda winced as the fabric touched her skin. It made her feel even more disgusted.
Amanda whipped the tears from her eyes and ran to her car. She hadn't even realized that she had been crying. She just couldn't believe what was happening. She just couldn't believe she let all.