Nightmares of Memories
By Montez
Disclaimer: Still not mine, just like to play with them.
A/N: This is my one-shot to something I threw out there in 'Where's Kono?' I just want to say I only have the greatest respect for our military and believe they are the best in the world. That being said we all know people, no matter how strong they are, have something that can nearly break them completely. I have to idea how the military actually handles certain situations and mean no disrespect if what I think might happen is totally off base. To me Steve is a strong enough person, with the right support, to successfully deal with some things that may have happened in the past, yet occasionally things would flood back and he could/would faulter. Thank goodness we have the wonderful characters around him who won't let him drown in his demons. Hope this works for those wondering what I might of alluded to, some of the images came to me before I wrote them, so I hope I got my vision of this across. Thanks again for all your support-Montez
The sound of something striking flesh was unique to the object used. The sound of an open hand gave a popping sound, the sound of a fist, solid. The sound of leather strapping a snap and wood, be it a bat or a two by four sounded hollow.
When a person was stabbed, it may have been quiet, but the individual always reacted the same, a sharp intake of breath, wide, unbelieving eyes, the mouth almost always came open forming the 'O' of surprise.
Gunshots only made the sound of the type of gun used, sniper rifle the quiet spit of air, a hand gun that loud recognizable 'bang'. An automatic almost like firecrackers and a shot-gun an enormous, explosive blast of dozens of little metal pellets escaping their shells.
Soldiers and Sailors knew these sounds well, either by necessity of using them, the horror of watching a comrade subjected to them, or personal experience.
Any one of these experiences had the ability to break a man, both physically and mentally. No military personal wanted to be subject to any of the forms of torture, maiming or death. It was one of the most important unspoken rules; keep yourself safe to keep your teammates safe. What was worse than being subjected yourself was watching your team, the men under your command be subjected to them and being completely helpless to stop it.
That was the nightmare that plagued a certain Lt. Commander occasionally. Usually after an extremely stressful case, but he'd learned techniques to deal with it when it haunted his dreams. He'd dealt with it silently the first weeks he'd returned home, the inability to save his father had triggered it that time. But this time had been different, this time it had lasted over a month, this time the nightmares were almost nightly. He couldn't sleep more than a few hours a night; he knew it was one of the reasons for the exhaustion that had overtaken his mind and body during that month.
They had started again the night of the governors murder, the trigger not the stress of the events surrounding what he'd learned, but that night it had been something so mundane, so inconsequential, that he'd handled so many times during his time with Five-0; handcuffs.
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The cookout that night had gone great, Kono was back where she belonged, though still on leave until completely healed from the gunshot wound that had nearly taken her from her ohana. Chin never moved very far away from his cousin, not letting her get up for anything, much to the young woman's protest. Yet she'd relented, knowing the stress the last week, the last month had taken on her cousin because she'd tried to push him away. Kono had noticed that anytime she'd glance toward Chin, he'd give her a small smile, anytime he walked past her, he'd touch her shoulder like he needed that reassurance she was really there, really okay.
Lori had started out quiet, not really sure how to interact with her new team outside of work, but Kono soon drug her into a discussion on the best ways to subdue suspects that out weighed you by a hundred pounds. Danny had finally started to relax a little, Grace was finally returning to the island in a couple days and Williams had put in for a few days off to spend the time with her Rachel had promised upon their return.
Joe White sat back slightly from the group, watching the younger people interact, talking and laughing in a way he hadn't seen before, despite the fact Wo Fat was still out there somewhere, lurking, waiting to make his next move, the small team before him seemed almost relaxed. All except Steve. Though Joe watched him make his best effort and to anyone that didn't know the SEAL, they would have been fooled into thinking now that the issues with the youngest member of Five-0 were resolved the stress would be lifted from the team leader, but Joe knew different. And if the older man wasn't mistaking so did each member of McGarrett's team, except for Weston. White assumed that was just because she didn't know Steve very well and Joe knew that even though the woman was suppose to be a profiler, Steve was very, very good at hiding his feelings, his emotions from others.
It didn't surprise Joe in the least that Williams was the one keeping the closest eye on his partner, regularly glancing toward his friend, noticing his quietness even as he stayed up with the conversations, throwing in his own views and comments on any given topic. However the unease was there, the lines of exhaustion still evident even days after being released from the hospital, the lack of appetite, the near two to one beer ratio. Joe had seen it all before and that is what worried him, he needed to stay close, needed to make sure McGarrett didn't faultier again like he'd revealed that night in the hospital.
"Well I think it's about time we headed out, I know she will deny it, but Kono is about ready to fall asleep." Chin stood, dropping his bottle into the nearby recycling bin, he'd nursed only two bottles over the last six hours, he'd wanted to stay alert incase Kono needed him, plus he was the ride home.
"Not tired." Kono's exhausted voice almost whined from the chair, eliciting a chuckle among her teammates.
"Of course you're not Kaukini, but it's time to go none the less." Kelly helped his cousin to her feet.
Lori stood too, a bit unsteady, "Can I get a ride, I don't feel comfortable driving?" Weston asked. Though she wasn't overtly drunk, the buzz she was feeling was enough for her to know she shouldn't be on the road.
"No problem," Chin replied looking toward Steve, who stood quietly by his chair, "It okay if Lori leaves her car?"
"It's fine, drive careful guys." McGarrett said, not a hint of intoxication heard, despite what he'd drank.
Steve, Danny and Joe waved as the three other members of the team headed out through the house, it being better lit than the path next to the house.
Steve retook his seat a bit heavier than intended, his hand rubbing his eyes. Danny's voice pulling his attention from the tiredness that was clouding his mind, "Steve, is it okay if I crash here tonight? Feel a bit fuzzy myself." Danny asked. Not really feeling out of it, he'd only drank four beers over the six hours they'd all been together, but that nagging feeling was setting up in his gut again. The one he'd wished he'd listened to that night with Jameson and again a week ago when he'd found his partner unconscious on the beach.
"Sure Danny, you know where things are." Steve spoke quietly, his gaze looking out toward the blackness of the Pacific. "You heading out Joe?" Despite being a 'Navy man' Joe White was never a big drinker, the occasional beer was good, but like Chin, he'd nursed two over the course of the night.
The older man stood, exchanging a look with Danny that told the blond Joe was having that same feeling that Danny was feeling, something in the way Steve was acting warranted their attention. "Maybe in a bit, I think I'll help in getting some of this stuff put away, so you don't have to deal with it in the morning."
McGarrett stood again, this time he swayed slightly, Danny moving next to him quickly. "Easy partner, you okay?"
Steve hadn't intended to but he reflexively jerked away from Danny's hand coming in contact with his arm, "I'm good!" he snapped before quickly recovering, "I'm sorry Danny…it's just…" He stumbled slightly as he took a step from his partner, "Guess had too much tonight."
Williams nodded in understanding as Steve looked at Joe. "I'll get this in the morning, you can just leave it." That alone sent a little warning bell off with both of McGarrett's friends, the dark-haired man was probably the neatest bachelor Danny'd ever met and Joe knew from experience Steve was an extremely neat and organized person.
White stepped up to Steve, Danny still hovering a step behind, "Look son, I'll get this, you should head up and get some rest." It was said in calm, almost soothing voice, but it was a tone McGarrett was use to hearing from the older man, a tone that said 'don't even think of arguing with me'.
Silently Steve nodded, taking another step, this time not flinching when Danny gripped his arm, just above the elbow, "Let me help you up the stairs, can't have you falling back down and ending up back in the hospital, which might be some kind of record, twice in a week.
"I don't need help Danny." Williams chuckled at the 'aneurysm face' that McGarrett shot him.
"Humor me pal." Danny replied and actually had Steve up the stairs before the taller man realized it. "You okay from here or do I need to tuck you in?" a smirk crossing Danny's face.
"Been putting myself to bed a while now, think I've got it." Steve replied, "Thanks Danny." A quietness in his voice told Danny the true meaning of those two words.
Williams nodded, "Night Steven." He turned back toward the stairs.
"Night Danno." Was the mumbled reply as Steve made his way into his room, closing the door.
Danny came back down, seeing Joe pulling the back doors closed, securing the locks. "You staying?" Williams asked.
"Yeah, it's just…" Joe wasn't usually at a loss for words in describing something, but this time he couldn't put his finger on it, just knew he needed to stay close.
"I know, I'm getting it too." Danny ran his hand through his hair, looking between the couch and recliner, "Okay, which do you want?"
"I'll take the recliner." White smiled as Danny tossed him one of the blankets from the back of the couch, both men silently taking their spots for the night.
Danny awoke with a start, lying there a second to try and figure out what had woken him. He glanced toward Joe in the recliner, the man still looked asleep. Williams was just about to write it off when another muffled noise reached his ears. He sat up, listening more intently this time, this time it was clearer and coming from upstairs. Jumping to his feet, Danny shook Joe's shoulder as he moved past, taking the stairs two at a time, making it to Steve's door in time to hear another pained cry.
"JOHNSON!" Steve's voice yelled out as Danny opened the door, Joe a step behind. McGarrett was sitting in the middle of the bed; all the sheets and pillows lay scattered around the floor. Steve's eyes were opened but not seeing his two friends as he yelled again, "JOHNSON ANSWER ME! NO, NO, NO, DON'T!…"
Danny was across the room before Joe realized, his shouted warning coming a second too late as Williams made it to the bed, reaching out to grab Steve's shoulders in an attempt to wake him. Steve's subconscious, nightmare-filled mind didn't see his partner, his friend, as he felt a presence near him he reached out instinctually, grabbing for the arms that reached for him. On his feet in a flash with Danny face-first against the nearest wall, McGarrett's arm finely around his neck, the voice the growled in Danny's ear was nothing like his friend, it was hurting, cold and deadly. "Why did you kill them? It didn't work, I'm still not telling you anything." Williams felt the pressure increase around his throat.
"McGarrett!" Joe White's loud, commanding voice reminded Danny the older man was in the room.
"Sir?" Steve replied, his voice sounding different, confused.
"You need to stand down sailor, we're here to help." Joe was moving closer to Steve, though Danny couldn't see him, he could hear his footsteps coming closer as Williams fought the dark-spots that were starting to dance in his vision.
"No, they killed them sir, the others…I don't know…" McGarrett's voice broke as Danny felt Steve's arm loosen slightly, though he was afraid to move, not wanting to give his friend a reason to return the pressure.
"I know son, but this man didn't do it, he's here to help. You need to let us help you son, you're hurt." Joe was right next to Steve now, but still an arms length away. He knew what Steve was capable of and with him still tangled up in his nightmare he didn't want to give the younger man another reason to possibly hurt Danny.
Williams felt Steve's arms fall away from him as he coughed harshly, turning, leaning his back against the wall his hand rubbing his throat. The breath he was trying to pull in caught as he took in the now pale, trembling form of his best friend. Danny watched Joe step up in front of Steve, his voice ever calm, "We've got it now son, let us take care of you."
McGarrett looked confused at the older man, his voice taking on a wounded, pleading sound, "Johnson, my team…they need help…I'm fine sir." Danny watched as Steve wrapped one of his arms tightly around his chest. Williams wasn't exactly sure if he was witnessing something that had happened before or if it was all part of an elaborate nightmare his best friend was caught up in.
White moved forward one more step, reaching out slowly toward the arm Steve held stiffly at his side, "They are being looked after Commander, it's time to stand down now."
It was as if those words broke that spell that Steve was caught up in as Danny watched his partner's eyes roll back, his body going limp. It was Joe's quick reflexes that allowed him to catch Steve as the younger man dropped, easing him onto his back, Danny finally coming to his senses and dropping next to his partner, watching Joe check McGarrett's pulse.
"It's a little quick, but he should calm down in a couple minutes." Joe answered Danny's questioning look, who continued to absently rub his neck.
"What was that?" Williams' voice a little rough from the pressure that had been around his throat. "Was that like a flashback or something?" Of course Danny knew very little of Steve's military career, most of it being classified. It had been a real eye opener for him when they had been give access to watch a SEAL team in action via remote access after the case involving SEAL from a certain team ending up murdered as they were being targeted for retaliation. It gave him a different kind of respect for Steve and what he'd done throughout his career. He knew their had to be horrors his friend had witnessed, taken part in by necessity, but what he just witnessed, been inadvertently involved in because of an apparent nightmare, it terrified him.
"You could say that." Joe replied. "Help me get him back in the bed."
Danny helped lift his partner, getting him situated back into his bed, pillows and blankets replaced around him. "You going to tell me about it? And I don't want to hear it's classified, he could have killed me and not even realized it; I think this is something I should know." Williams tried to keep his voice down, but felt a bit of anger building about the whole situation.
White motioned them out into the hall, "its Steve tale to tell if he wants to share it, I only know what I was directly involved in, it was a while before he opened up to me about the rest. But we will talk when he wakes up, he may not even remember what just happened so we have to be careful how we approach the subject so he doesn't blame himself for what he just did, do you understand?" Danny could tell Joe was extremely concerned.
"Okay, but we will definitely talk." Danny replied.
Joe ran his hand over his face, glancing back in the room and the now sleeping man, "I'm gonna stay with him, you should rest, morning may be a bit rough." Without waiting for Williams to reply White moved back into the bedroom, taking a seat across from the bed, keeping watch over his former charge.
McGarrett only slept for another hour before starting himself awake, his breathing heavy from the continued nightmare that plagued him. Feeling another presence in the room, he turned toward the window seeing his former commander watching him, "Joe?"
White leaned forward in the chair, watching the younger man, "You with me this time son?"
Steve moved to the edge of the bed, trying to figure out why the older man was in his room, "What's going on? Is something wrong?" McGarrett ran his hands through his hair and roughly over his face, he had flashes of images flipping through his mind, but he wasn't sure if they were fading images of his nightmare or something else and he couldn't make sense of them.
"Just worried about you." Joe said matter of factly.
"What? I'm fine, what's going on?" McGarrett was becoming more alert with each passing second.
"You gave us a bit a scare a while ago." Steve watched Joe nod toward the door where he was surprised to see Danny leaning against the door frame.
"Danny?" Steve stood up, looking between his two friends.
"Get cleaned up first; I'll get the coffee going now that we're all up. We've got a few things to talk about." Williams replied from the doorway.
Panic seized McGarrett a moment as he moved toward his partner, "Did something happen? Is Kono okay? Chin?"
Danny held up his hands, heading his friend off, "As far as I know they are both fine, it's you I'm worried about." He waved his hand at Steve when the dark-haired man started to interrupt, "Just get cleaned up first, we'll talk downstairs."
Joe had moved across the room, putting a supportive hand on McGarrett's shoulder, "We'll be downstairs." and with that both men left Steve alone in his room. Confused and worried he made his way toward the bathroom, a quick shower and he was heading down within ten minutes.
The kitchen was the only light on, entering Steve found Joe sitting at the table, nursing a cup of coffee, Danny was leaning against the counter drinking his own. "You want some?" Williams asked, his voice just a little rough.
"Yeah, thanks." Steve moved across the room, stopping next to his partner. When Danny turned to hand McGarrett his cup, Steve noticed a slight discoloration on the side of Danny's neck. Reflexively he reached toward Danny, wanting to see. "What happened to your neck? You didn't have that last night."
Danny backed away from Steve, "It's nothing, look we need to talk so why don't you have a seat." the blond man moved to the table, taking a seat across from Joe.
"That's not nothing Danny, what happened?"
It was Joe's quiet voice that answered the question, "There was a bit of an incident a little earlier this morning that caught us off guard."
Steve moved to sit, not understanding, "What kind of incident? Did someone try to get in? The alarm should have sounded, unless…" Danny could see where Steve's mind was going in the moment, back to the night men had broken into his place, stealing his father's CHAMP box, attacking him with a taser and kidnapping his sister.
"No, it wasn't that. You…" Danny wasn't sure how to say what he was about to say, because he knew the moment he did, Steve would make the connections and another layer of guilt would wrap itself around McGarrett's psyche. Joe nodded in support to the Jersey native, taking a deep breath Danny spoke again, "You were having a nightmare and I didn't exactly think it through when I tried to wake you up. It was my fault; I should have guessed you'd react on instinct. But look, no harm done, it's over, but we do need to talk about what exactly you're nightmare was about."
McGarrett just stared at his partner, if he was hearing Danny right; somehow he was responsible for the marks on Danny's neck. "What? What did I do?" When Williams hesitated Steve asked again, "Danny, tell me what I did to you."
"You pinned me against the wall, but like I said, I'm fine, it's you I'm worried about." Danny reached over to grab his partner's arm only for Steve to pull back.
Both men watched as McGarrett rubbed his face roughly, absorbing that he couldn't remember hurting his best friend. It was Joe's voice that pulled him from his thoughts, "When did those nightmares start again?"
Steve's head jerked up quickly, a look of fear flashing across his face as he glanced at Danny them back at Joe. "Joe, please, don't…you know…" McGarrett's voice trailed off as his recollection of the memories that replayed themselves in his nightmares filled his mind.
"You usually call me when they start. So how long?" This time White's voice was more commanding than compassionate, it obviously bothering him that the younger man had broke with their agreement and not contacted him.
McGarrett knew he couldn't lie to Joe and if he had truly hurt Danny because of one of the nightmares, then his partner deserved the truth as well. "Just over a month." Steve's voice was low.
Joe brought his hand up and pinched the bridge of his nose, surprised it had been that long his young friend had been dealing with this, obviously alone since Danny didn't know anything about it. "Just over a month?" Danny responded, his mind quickly calculating the time window of when the obviously intense nightmare started. "That would put it around the time Jameson was killed, when you were arrested."
Steve nodded, staring at his coffee. "Is that what triggered it this time? The stress of that situation?" White asked, knowing from past experience what type of situations would often trigger an episode.
Shaking his head slightly, he looked up and locked eyes with the older man, "It wasn't that in itself, it started when…" Joe noticed Steve absently rubbing his wrist, knowing instantly.
"When you were handcuffed." Joe stated, watching the rubbing becoming more intense, while the younger man's breathing increased some.
"Yeah."
Danny spoke, looking between his partner's almost obsessive wrist rubbing and Joe. "Chin mentioned something about you almost passing out in the back of the cruiser, about you not wanting to be cuffed again. He said you'd started to panic. Is that why you reacted like you did when you were cuffed outside the bank? It triggered something didn't it?" The pieces were starting to fall into place. Danny knew certain bad incidents could trigger negative reactions in people, like when person who'd been involved in a car accident might panic at the thought of driving again. It sent a chill through Williams at what type of incident his seemingly fearless partner could have been involved in for him to beg and plead to be released from handcuffs.
"Danny…" Steve's voice sounded so small, so un-Steve like, it froze Danny's soul to hear his friend sound so lost.
Joe reached out, gripping Steve's arm, getting his attention, "He needs to know, we just want to help. Do you want me to start?" Before meeting Danny, Lt. Commander Joe White was the only other person in Steve's life he completely and utterly trusted. He was a person he could talk with about his missions as a SEAL and he knew if Joe was saying Danny needed to know about what happened then Danny would know. Nodding slightly, Steve moved away from the table, stopping at the sink, looking outside as the sun was just a hint on the horizon, Joe's voice, his words again bringing unwanted images to his mind. But Steve had learned from experience that the nightmares wouldn't stop until it was out in the open.
Joe looked across at Williams, who was watching Steve, "I can't go into specifics as to when and where, only that if was a few years back, just before Steve transferred into Naval Intelligence. There was an incident and a four man team went missing. I was called in to lead one of the teams looking for them, it took us four days before we located where they were being held. When we stormed the compound we heard several shots coming for a building about twenty yards inside the gates, when we reached the building we found our guys." White stood from the table, clearly the images of that day disturbing Joe as well as Steve, hell Danny wasn't even there and he knew where the story was heading and it terrified him.
To his credit Williams hadn't made a sound, hadn't interrupted the older man as he refilled his coffee and returned to the table. "Sometimes you see things, then there are times you SEE things, things no one should ever see. When we entered that eight by eight building, the walls were literally covered nearly floor to ceiling with blood, all four of our men were chained to the wall by handcuffs. Each of them was either awkwardly hanging sideways against the wall or forward on their knees as far as the chains would allow. They had each been severally beaten and the gunshots we heard upon breaching the compound was the enemies way of trying to dispose of our men."
Danny couldn't believe what he was hearing, was it really possible his partner, his best friend had been held captive and nearly executed by the enemy. "Steve?" Williams looked at McGarrett who was still facing the window, but Danny could see the other man's whole body shaking slightly.
It was then Steve's hollow voice spoke, "I was the last to be beaten. They thought if they beat my team in front of me that I would tell them how we'd found them so they could find out who was feeding us info." Taking a deep, shaky breath McGarrett continued, his voice nearly a whisper. "We go in knowing what could happen, knowing you do not give the enemy anything they could use against your comrades. For four days I watched my team, men I was in charge of to lead in and out of combat literally being beaten to death in front of me." McGarrett finally turned to face Danny and Williams was shocked to see tears streaming down his partner's face. "I let them die Danny, I could not get them out of there, I tried." Steve's voice cracked slightly, "God I tried."
McGarrett fell silent and Joe started again. "Two of our men came out of that room barely alive, Steve…" Joe motioned toward him before continuing, "and one other. It took Steve six months to recover from his injuries. He nearly died twice, once in transport to the closest base, once stateside when sepsis took hold."
Steve ran his hand over his face, retaking the seat at the table, "The nightmares started while I was still recovering, once they had cut back on the medication I was on for the extreme pain my injuries had caused." McGarrett looked up at Danny, who still seemed to have some trouble processing what he was learning about his partner. A humorless smile crossed Steve's face, "You've joked before about me needing therapy, when I do something that seems a bit out there to you. I've had therapy, several months in fact. How do you think I was able to stay in the Navy? I had tests I had to pass, the Navy had been my life for so long, I knew I wouldn't survive if I was forced out because of what happened. Once everything was signed off on, I transferred to Naval Intelligence where I was mostly allowed to work on my own, only having support teams when I needed them."
Silence settled over the three men for a few minutes before Danny spoke again, "Have you had times when the nightmares came back other than after the initial incident." A part of Williams wanted to chastise himself for wanting more info, but another part felt he needed to know. He needed to know what the triggers were so he could help his friend before things got as far out of hand as they appeared to have this time.
Steve finally seemed more composed, his hands the only thing Danny still noticed that were shaking. "Only a couple. The last time was when Hesse killed my father, I was helpless to do anything to stop it and that triggered them last time. When it happens I have someone I contact, they are usually my second call after I contact Joe."
"So this time it was the handcuffs wasn't it? If you have people you contact, why didn't you contact them this last time?" Danny asked, clearly it not clicking why Steve hadn't contacted anyone with this last occurrence.
"Yeah, at first I was too wrapped up in the fact Jameson was dead, but once Chin put me in the car and we pulled away, I realized I couldn't move my hands and started to panic. The reason I didn't call anyone was I was kind of in jail at the time, figured I had more pressing issues at the time than trying to deal with them. Then once I was out they continued and with the way everything snowballed with Kono and some of our cases, I got it in my head I could deal with it myself this time. Last week, with what happened with Kono, that helpless feeling of not being there for her, then being cuffed again, it triggered something that I, at the time, could not deal with. That's when you found me. Since then the nightmares have gotten worse, but with everything going on, I didn't…" Again Steve's voice became distant, like he was struggling with the fact he needed help and he knew it.
"You didn't think you needed to bother anyone with you're problems?" Danny knew his friend too well, "When are you going to get it through that thick skull of yours, I'm your partner, but more importantly I'm your friend. You listen to my crap all the time; did you really think I wouldn't return that? That I'd be okay not knowing what was going on inside that head of yours even though it was clearly obvious that something was literally eating you alive from the inside? When did I give you the impression that I didn't care about what happens to you? Was it when I was doing my damnedest trying to find a way to clear you from those bogus murder charges? Or was it when I walked into Max's house and was so damned relieved to see you actually on your feet after hearing Hesse had tried to kill you that I launched into a rant at how stupid it was to escape and take out a cop while on the run? Or was it when I was sitting in your hospital room last week after finding you unconscious on the beach, not knowing what the hell had happened, yelling at you once you woke up because you had actually thought it was a good idea to take yourself out of our lives, out of my life? Is that when you thought I didn't care about you?"
Joe had watched the Jersey native respond to Steve's comments. Joe had known from speaking to Danny that first time on the phone, when he'd called for help in clearing Steve, that Williams valued the friendship he had with McGarrett, and from their interaction since, Joe knew they were as close as brothers. So he understood Danny's frustration that Steve wouldn't have come to him for help. Hell Joe had been on the island about a month and Steve hadn't once mentioned the reoccurrence of the nightmares to him, so he understood some of Williams' hurt.
"I'm sorry Danny." Steve was looking at his partner. Who had started pacing the kitchen in his rant.
"Yes you are, but we know that. What I want to know is are you going to let me help you?" Danny pulled his chair over, sitting it directly across from Steve.
Williams could see the emotions flashing across his partner's face, running the gambit between scared to death and relieved to finally have someone by his side. "Okay." Steve said with an honestly that actually surprised Danny.
"Okay." Williams nodded, reaching out, squeezing his friends shoulder in support, again surprised when Steve raised his hand covering Danny's, gratitude showing on his face.
After a moment Joe spoke, "Do you want me to call Mark?"
Steve looked at the older man, Danny's hand going from his shoulder to his arm, a continued offering of support that McGarrett was surprised to realize he greatly appreciated. "Yeah, I think that's a good idea, see if he can fly out for a week or so." Joe gave a small smile of approval, knowing Steve was finally accepting he wasn't getting through this on his own.
Now that the tenseness of the revelation and following conversations was starting to life from the room, Danny stood, looking at his partner as Steve rose to place his cup in the sink, "So this Mark, he's actually your therapist?"
McGarrett saw a hint of mischief in Danny's eyes, "Yes and you are not allowed to meet him." Steve grinned.
"Oh come on, this is too good to pass up. I've been offering to pay for your help for over a year. You've got to introduce us. I have to know if all the crap you've drug me through is normal behavior for you because God knows its not normal behavior for your average person." The relief of their usual banter relaxing both men some.
"You've never accused me of being normal." Steve smiled.
"That's because you are not normal my friend, I don't think you even know the meaning of the word 'normal'." Danny's hands were moving again, in time with his words as usual. Steve knew then, that no matter what had happened over the last month, the last week or even last night, Danny wasn't going to leave him to deal with everything on his own. He'd known when Danny didn't leave any stone unturned when trying to help him clear those murder chargers, then last night and this morning reinforced that Danny was truly the best friend he'd ever had.
Clapping his hand on Danny's shoulder Steve smiled and for the first time in a long time it reached his eyes, "I'm going for a swim Danno, want to come?"
A bark of laughter escaped Steve as he headed outside, watching the annoyed face of his partner as the blond man followed him, reminding Steve just how much he hated the beach, the water, but telling McGarrett he was going to sit in the chairs and make sure his friend didn't swim out further than Danny thought he should, last weeks incident clearly playing in Williams' mind.
Joe watched the two men cross the yard; Danny's concerns heard loud and clear as Steve neared the water. Smiling to himself Joe pulled out his phone, dialing a number he'd used a few times before, calling in another reinforcement to help Steve get past this latest, obviously more troubling occurrence. Waiting for the call to connect Joe White watched as the sun rose on another beautiful day in Hawaii, ever thankful his young friend was there to enjoy it.