-This is set in AU. Alexis does not exist in this fic, it makes it easier and gives Kate a reason to have troubles knowing if Rick would be a good dad. Everything else is pretty much the same, could play in the middle of S5 as far as their relationship goes but I have to mention that I picture Castle/Beckett in this fic a little bit younger. In my mind Kate is 29 & Rick 34.-

It was time for her yearly routine checkup. She had known Dr. Talbert since she started at the academy, trusted him and normally it was fun chatting with him during her appointment. She hadn't felt too well the last couple weeks and was glad she hadn't to get an additional appointment to find out what was wrong with her.

„This may come as a shock for you, but Kate…you're pregnant."

The words echoed in Kate's brain. Pregnant.

She crawled up a little bit on the exam table she was lying on. "I'm…" her hand went through her hair and she shook her head slightly "I'm..pregnant?!" She now sat up. "Are you sure?" Kate looked up with a confused look "Uhh… sorry of course you're sure. This is your job, you're a doctor after all." She flustered trying to get down from the exam table her gaze concentrating on her shoes.

Dr. Talbert chuckled and laid his hand on her shoulder. "It's okay Kate. You're in some kind of a shock. That's normal. Those are breaking news. What about I finish up here, print out some results and you get dressed and we talk about the next steps in my office." Kate just nodded her head and went to the dressing room. After she came back out and sat down in the chair in the office, Dr. Talbert sat down in the chair opposite her.

"Okay Kate. I assume you're still on the pill, aren't you?"

"Yes. Yes I am." Her hands were folded in her lap. She didn't know where to look. This was too much for her. A baby? How was she supposed to deal with a Baby? God, what was she supposed to tell Rick?

"It doesn't happen often that someone gets pregnant while being on the pill but in your case it did happen. I'm sorry if it's too personal that I ask but do you know who the father is?"

Becket sighed "Yeah I know who the father is. He's my boyfriend."

"Well that's good news after all, you can talk with him about everything and maybe next time he can come along." Dr. Talbert smiled at her what she thought was supposed to be reassuring.

"I don't wanna keep it." Kate blurted out.

Dr. Talbert seemed surprised. "Ohhh… there are options of course. You're not too far along, so you could go for an abortion. But I want you to really think about this step. Talk to your boyfriend about it. If you decide to give birth to the child you could go for an adoption and I also have to tell you that there are a lot of risks in the first trimester of a pregnancy. " The smile had left his face and all that was left was a concerned look.

"I want an abortion." Kate stated, looking up into the Doctors face with determination in her eyes.

"Kate" he said softly "please think about it. I would suggest we talk again in 2 weeks. Tracy will give you an appointment. If you're still sure you want to go through with the abortion we will talk about detailed steps at our next appointment. I will give you some brochures about every option you have and some things you should keep in mind the next couple weeks."

"I appreciate it but I don't think my decision on this topic will change , but we can talk again in 2 weeks." She got up, taking the brochures of the table and shoving them in her purse, opening the door to the waiting room.

She said her goodbyes over her shoulder and went up to the front desk to get a new appointment.

After she left the doctor's office she went for a walk. Strolling through New York normally always helped to clear her head. Her walk lead her to Central Park which was beautiful in the Spring. Kate always was captivated when she saw all the blossom flowers and the soft green of the Trees. But now seeing the new life around her just reminded her of her miserable situation. It was a miserable situation after all, wasn't it? She didn't want a baby, at least not now. The timing wasn't right. A baby. A tiny life she was responsible for. She wasn't up for that kind of challenge.

Why her and why now? Everything seemed to had fallen into place the last couple weeks. Rick and she weren't ready for a baby, they didn't even live together, had briefly discussed marriage. But they were happy together; she enjoyed their relationship and having him around in her professional and private life. Beckett knew that she had to tell him and better sooner than later, but she was afraid. Afraid of how he would react and what he would say to this turn in events. She had the feeling he wouldn't agree with her decision to not keep the baby.

...to be continued.

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