An's
Lambie: I just want to say thanks to you all for bidding on little us, and giving your cash to such a good cause. It's been a pleasure to write with my fic-wife, and I'd do it again in a heartbeat.
She really does complete me.
Thanks to Maylin for beta-ing, along with Aleighy for prereading!
'Lusive: A big thank you to all the girls who contributed in the FGB outtake, you dolls made this possible, and your donations helped to show that this fandom can do great things when we all er…come together. It has been an extremely humbling experience collab writing with lambie, she's just amazing, and teaches me more than she probably knows. So I just wanna say thanks again for giving me the opportunity to do so.
Spesh thanks to gorgeous Maylin for her beta work, and the lovely Aleighy, for her prereading awesomesauce!
Music while writing (for me) was Dancing by Elisa. Amazing song. Go listen, be dazzled.
The silver Swan, who living had no Note,
when Death approached, unlocked her silent throat.
Leaning her breast against the reedy shore,
thus sang her first and last, and sang no more:
"Farewell, all joys! O Death, come close mine eyes!
"More Geese than Swans now live, more fools than wise!
From The Silver Swan by Thomas Gibbons
EPOV
There is this moment; it's only for a short period of the day, I have been able to isolate it down to the second, where the world is so dark, it is on the cusp of light for a new day. But cruel gray has a firm grip on the sky, before it is eventually defeated with the sun's intensity. The darkness retreats, it's pushed back, into a shadowed corner on the other side of the world. Biding its time, it creeps back out again. Then, when the sun finishes, it leaves, taking the light with it.
And the darkness settles, suffocating, drowning everything it touches.
Throughout, I have observed the constant flow of time, like the tide, and at the center, the moon. She sits like some forgotten specter of a playmate, hauntingly beautiful as a pearl, but untouchable, intangible, unobtainable.
I have now reached a point in my life where I no longer wish to be a part of this daily struggle against what is good, what is natural, what is the order of things. They no longer mean anything to me. The last of my human self is eroding away.
Which quite literally scares me beyond my own endurance.
I am over a century old, but my outward appearance doesn't look a day over twenty five. I was changed from mortal flesh to infallible immortal at the turn of this century.
To human eyes, I am the object of perfection.
To my own, which are highly sensitive, I am an object of disgust.
So I have come here, to spend the last twenty-four hours of my immortal life.
My eyes are dark with thirst, my body on the brink of rabid hunger.
I have set this scene, the dawn bringing with it a fire to consume me, lighting the darkness within my soul.
And during the blaze, my swan song, composed of the final notes of my life. From the beach house, I have brought my piano out onto the beach. The tall grass on the dunes waved gently at me, caressing the pants of my disheveled tux. The collar of my shirt was open, the tie left to dangle. The wind picked up, and I struggled to keep the sheet music I had chosen stationary.
It scattered into the high weeds, and I grabbed for it. I straightened the leaves of paper back into order, and my fingers caressed ivory keys in the first chord, just as darkness lost its battle with the light of a new day.
It was then that I saw her.
BPOV
Freedom.
The one thing I'd been denied since I was eight years old, and yet, here I was, standing on the beach stunned by the sight before me. My toes curled into the gritty sand, feeling it as it oozed between them.
I'd never felt the sand on my bare feet before.
I closed my eyes, amazed at how it felt to have the wind whipping my hair harshly around my face. The skin on my throat stung each time a strand of hair slapped at it fiercely.
The tide was closing in, tickling at my toes and making me gasp from the icy temperature. It looked different now that I was actually here. The color was brighter, and it was much noisier than I'd ever imagined. I'd only ever seen it from the tiny window in my room - my room with a bolt on the outside of the door. I'd dreamed of what this would feel like, and it had been the only thing that kept me alive most days.
I should be happy.
I should be ecstatic, dancing around and absorbing every new sensation. But I wasn't. I was crying, tears streaming down my cheeks as my chest heaved. I thought this would be easy, because I'd resolved long ago how my life would end. I'd spent years plotting my demise, finding a way to escape the confines of the Institution and ending this constant torture that was my existence, but now it was here I was overcome with emotion. The beauty of this had been taken from me, and I was only ever to experience glimpses of what most people felt every day. It was overwhelming, but I knew I didn't have long before they realized I was gone and came hunting for me.
I wouldn't fail.
I'd spent too many years planning this, waiting patiently for the perfect moment for my escape. Most people would think I was crazy, escaping only to end it all, but this was my only way out.
Death was my only release.
I stepped slowly into the sea, and my feet went instantly numb as the freezing water washed right up to my ankles. I gave a short yelp, rising onto my tip toes, but it still soaked the bottom of my nightgown. The thin fabric clung to my calves and soon the wetness began to creep further up my gown. I hoped it got destroyed right along with me, pummeled against the rocks and left to wither and die. It reminded me of far too much, and yet meant far too little.
I winced, because that was a perfect description of my life.
I walked further into the waves, hoping the cold water would numb every sense I had, and it was only when I was waist deep that I heard it over the crashing of the waves.
Someone was playing a piano, and it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever heard.
EPOV
Gently, I found chords. The wind picked up, carrying my sound away, until I was depressing keys, and only the tiniest amount of sound could be heard over the roar of the wind.
She was like a fallen angel, her wings ripped to shreds. She wore white chiffon, it moved around her in the wind. But as the breeze turned from gentle to demanding, it plastered the gown to her lithe frame.
My fingers matched the tempo of her footsteps, and I noted she wore no shoes. She was quiet in her approach, her steps measured.
She reminded me of a woman I had seen at a funeral march. This was during my younger immortal days, of course.
It was a small town that I had settled into, and a man had died. His entire family and small entourage of friends had marched behind his coffin as it was led up cobble stoned streets. Their somber attire confirming the mourning of a loved one.
There was one girl at the back though. She was no older than me, mortally.
There was a quiet grace, a beauty about her, a strength, which I admired. While the women ahead of her cried and wept openly, there were no tear tracks down her soft cheeks. Her eyes though, they showed true pain.
I had felt such suffering.
BPOV
I closed my eyes, listening to the music as it floated around me, lapping at my skin along with the water. My flesh was becoming numb from the temperature, but I focused on the tune. I wondered what the person was doing out on the beach with a piano, but I'd come here to end it. I didn't want a diversion.
I wanted the pain and loneliness to stop.
This was the only aspect of my life that I had control of, my death, and I was going to see it through.
I stepped further into the ocean, the water making my nightgown stick to every contour of my body, when I realized the music had stopped. The silence was deafening, and it was as if it had taken whatever warmth the notes conveyed with it. I shivered, tasting the tang of the salt water on my lips. My pulse quickened and my flesh came out in tiny bumps.
Someone was here.
I bit my lip, but refused to open my eyes. My mind was playing tricks on me, maybe the cold was affecting me sooner than I'd expected. I reasoned I was simply being silly, and tried to take a step forward, but two strong hands gripped my biceps, stopping me. I gasped at the touch, the contact, and my eyes shot open.
The man before me was startling. There were no words to describe his beauty, and I was momentarily blinded as I tried to blink him into focus. I'd never seen skin so porcelain, hair so many different shades of bronze or eyes that were so dark they were almost black.
The man didn't speak, just held me steadfast, no longer permitting me to execute my plan.
"Please," I almost begged, as if he knew what I was trying to do.
"I cannot allow that," he stated.
The cadence of his voice made my knees weak and my breath catch. Nobody could be that beautiful.
Was it possible that I was already dead? Was he an angel sent to guide me to my rest?
He chuckled lowly, as if he'd read my thoughts. Knowing that wasn't possible, I tried to pull away from him.
"I cannot allow you to do this," he repeated, holding me still.
"Why not?" I cried. "I don't know you, and you have no right to stop me!"
"Something...something about you screams for my help. You call to me, and I am unsure as to why I cannot ignore that cry. You are perplexing."
I frowned, seeing for the first time that he was wearing a lovely suit, the kind I had only ever seen in pictures. It was dark, and only seemed to enhance the richness of his beauty. The stark white of his shirt seemed clean, crisp, and too lovely to sully with my touch. The ends of a tie hung loose from the collar.
"The piano," I whispered. "You."
He nodded, his movements precise.
I shuddered, taking a deep breath and yelled loudly when he lifted me into his arms. I screamed, kicking my legs and punching at the solid wall of his chest. He stared straight ahead, showing no sign of my blows affecting him.
"Why're you doing this? Please, let me go. Please."
He strode from the sea, walking as if I weighed nothing at all. Even my movements didn't make his steps falter. I tried to fight him, but I had little strength, and battling was futile because I was making little impact.
"Are you from the hospital? Did they send you? No, don't take me back, just let me die...please," I pleaded.
"I can assure you, I am not from any hospital," his mouth kicked up into a perfectly handsome smirk, "I only know I cannot permit your death in this way."
His words sounded so old, as if he was speaking from another time. One long before this one.
My head was spinning in utter confusion. I'd spent months - years even, plotting my escape and now this man had ruined everything. Even if he wasn't from the hospital I knew they'd be searching for me, and would eventually find me further down the coast.
I refused to go back.
I would not be broken by them anymore.
"I would not allow that," he stated, placing me down on the sand.
I curled into a ball, hugging my cold legs closer to my wet chest and trying to keep my body from his. It was difficult, because even though he scared me, I felt pulled towards him. I had no idea who this man was, but my body really did want to be next to him - touching him. Each response he'd made had been towards a thought of mine, not my verbalized words. How was that possible?
"How do you think?" he asked, sitting down next to me.
I stared at his now ruined trousers. They were soaking wet and covered in sand, but he paid no attention to them. His sole focus was me. I felt uncomfortable, my skin tingling with awareness. I didn't understand this reaction. He was a stranger.
"My name is Edward."
Again, he was responding to my thoughts, and not anything I'd spoken. I whimpered, hugging myself tighter. He reached out, skimming a solitary finger down my arm.
"Fascinating," he breathed, leaning closer to look at the skin.
I swallowed, wondering what he was referring to.
"I thought there was nothing left to interest me; that the world no longer held surprises, but Isabella, I was very wrong."
There was something in the way he touched me, like he was holding back something. And every time his skin met mine, I felt like gravity shifted, moved, and all I wanted was more.
"Like this?" His finger moved over my face again, and a million tiny nerve endings came to life under his fingertip.
His lips shifted into a small smile, crooked on one side. My lips parted, and I wondered what it would be like to be kissed by that mouth. My heart beat fast in my chest, and I blushed, hoping he hadn't heard that thought.
He moved too quickly, he was too close, his face mere inches from mine. I didn't have much time to react though, as his lips briefly touched mine. Electricity flowed between us, and I was aware of so many things at once: The way his lips felt, how my nipples slid against the fabric of my wet nightgown. The length of wet fabric was bunched around my legs, and I wanted to crawl even closer to him, be nearer to him. I'd never been this close to any man, and actually wanted him to touch me - to do those things I'd only ever read about.
The thought sprang into my head almost instantly. The thought soon took shape, and I pictured for a moment if I could steal a few hours of bliss before I ended the pain I constantly felt. If he would oblige, if he were willing, if he was as fascinated by me as I was by him. I would greet my end knowing what it felt like to have a man kiss me, touch me, and even hold me. I could be selfish for just this once.
"Next to me, you are the very opposite of selfish."
His nose grazed the side of my chin while his fingers ran slowly up the inside of my arm. How could he possibly hear my thoughts? And why wasn't I running from him?
Goose bumps raised over my skin as his lips found purchase at the side of my jaw.
"You smell amazing. Like summertime, and burning heat, and everything alive. That sweet elusive smell of being alive. I want to taste you."
His lips kissed the side of my throat, and I whimpered. The newness of this experience, coupled with his overwhelming presence was undoing me. I had set out to end my life this morning, and in the presence of this stranger, I was blossoming rather than withering.
Even if it was only for a few hours.
EPOV
She was exquisite. I had detected the beautiful notes of her fragrance over the surf, and when I had pulled her from it, the smell of salt and...her had saturated the air around us.
Now being so close to her, I swallowed back the answering venom to her desirable smell, testing my limits on the warm sweetness of her skin. I kissed her, and she lingered on my lips, that sweet taste, so warm, so intoxicating.
More. I needed more.
I had been ready to greet the dawn, ready to end a hundred of years of existence, but she had saved me. Her mere presence was enough to shake my resolve. Her thoughts were so tortured; her life so unfulfilled. It was highly amusing that after all this time I would crumble at the sight of a human.
Her scent had scorched my throat, and yet I could resist. It was a sensation unlike any other I had ever experienced. She opened a door, one I never knew existed, and now I wanted to explore.
Is he here to save me?
I chuckled. The thought was positively hilarious. I was a monster, a nightmare, and yet she still thought I was going to help her like some angel.
"What's so amusing?" she whispered.
It was so quiet it floated away with the breeze, but I'd seen the question in her mind.
"Your belief that I'm here to help you. To save you."
"Haven't you done that already? I'm no longer in the ocean."
I skimmed my nose slowly up her neck towards her earlobe, watching the vein pulse against the creamy skin.
"That is geography. It is not salvation."
Her hand shook as she gripped the jacket of my tuxedo, and astonishingly I covered it with my own. I wanted to calm her, but was beyond perplexed as to why I would want that. The instinct to possess, to dominate, was getting stronger by the millisecond. Her scent was building, drifting with the mist around us, and clinging to my lungs each time I inhaled. I was intoxicated by her, and couldn't stop myself from acting on my wants.
I took the lobe of her ear between my teeth, grazing the flesh, but then licking it better. Whimpers slipped from her lips, as her hand tickled its way up to my neck. She clung to me, and I fought not to taste her right there on the wet sand.
If his lips are making me this breathless, then what would it be like for him to do other things to me?
Her innocence was astounding. How could I be brought to my knees by this slip of a human? I could tell she had little interaction with others, and was therefore highly inexperienced, but wasn't everybody in comparison to the centuries I had?
He's so beautiful, why would he waste his time with me?
I had heard these sort of thoughts from human's before. But that this creature could think she was unworthy of me was preposterous.
"You are beautiful and unlike any instrument I have ever played."
She sighed as I moved a stray lock of her hair over her shoulder, and my mouth hovered over some of her exposed collarbone.
I wonder, if I asked, would he play? I've never heard music like that before in my life.
I quirked a brow, pulling back to look down at her.
"Isabella, would you like to hear me play?" I asked.
She nodded, taking her lower lip between her teeth and gazing at me in wonder. I swallowed a new burst of venom, and lifted her wet body up. I marveled at the way she wound her arms around my neck; trusting me when I knew from her thoughts that she trusted no one.
In her presence, I was flooded with feelings that I had never encountered before. I needed a moment to sort through my thoughts. I wanted to analyze them, because it was about much more than thirst.
Gently, I sat her down on the piano bench, and her eyes took in the ivory and black keys, the polished black lacquer of the piano. She watched as my hands touched the keys and I played the notes, a tinkling morose lullaby.
His hands are wonderful, so graceful, like they're dancing.
I continued to play, my fingers questing over the keys. She leaned against me, needing more contact.
He smells like autumn.
She closed her eyes and imagined the turned leaves, oranges and gold, and crimson, dancing like tiny flames in the breeze.
I continued to play until the song finally reached the end, a poignant and questionable note hanging in the air between us.
"Teach me."
"Teach you what?" I knew what she wanted, but I wanted to hear her say the words out loud.
"How to play."
I swallowed back more venom, "Give me your hand."
Trustingly, she laid her open palm in mine, and I pulled it up towards my face, my nose grazing along the vulnerable blue veins of her wrist. The bouquet of her smell, like sleepy lavender mixed with something sweet and innocent.
I kissed those pulsing veins, before turning them over and away from me, tempting as they are.
Taking her index finger, I depressed a key, and a gentle note floated from the piano into the breeze.
"Middle C," I said, looking at her face.
Her brows furrowed, What's middle C?
"It's the name of the note, Isabella."
Bella. They call me Isabella at the hospital. I wish he'd call me Bella.
"What else do you want me to teach you, Bella?"
Kiss me, she blushed, and looked away from my gaze.
My index finger caressed her chin, and angled her face back up to mine.
"You have to say it out loud, Bella."
She shivered as I said her name, "K-kiss me."
I felt my jaw flex, and I was hungry for her. My lips captured hers, and she gave willingly. My hand stroked her jaw and I pulled away slightly.
"Open your mouth, Bella." she parted her lips, "More. Yes, like that."
Again my mouth descended, my tongue touching her lips, then slowly delving inside her warmth. Her hands crept up my arms as we tried to turn more fully towards each other.
I growled, frustrated, and before she could blink, I lifted her over me, so her back was pressing against the piano, her nightgown bunched around her hips and her thighs on either side of my hips.
Her thoughts were fast, stunned, wanting a million things in a million different ways. Most of them revolving around me.
Slowly, her fingers reached up to touch the side of my face. She hesitated at first, but then her warm fingers began stroking my jaw.
He's so beautiful.
I rolled my eyes and she made a nervous giggling sound.
I wonder if he would kiss me again.
I obliged her, covering her mouth with mine, showing her a thousand different kisses over the span of the early morning gloom.
At one point she attempted to move closer to me, pushing off from the piano. We fell backwards, and she landed on my chest with a small oof.
He's going to be mad at me.
"Sorry."
"Don't be sorry, love."
I nuzzled her chin with my nose, following along to her neck, kissing the pulse that beat rapidly at her throat.
Blood flowed wetly just below the skin, the thrum of her heart beat making my mouth water. She chose that moment to move, and froze when the apex of her thighs grazed my aroused state.
Oh my God, is he, have I-?
I pushed up against her then, and listened to her heart rate increase. I could smell her arousal, and unconsciously, she pushed back.
We moaned together, and her lips were on mine, this time, her mouth demanded of me.
She was a quick study.
My hands were at the back of her gown, unbuttoning it.
"Sit up, Bella."
She did as I asked, sitting astride me, and I lifted the gown over her head.
The sight before me took my breath away. She was all creamy flushed skin, as soft as a peach, flawless and untouched. I had come here to greet my death, and yet, I was greeted with life.
He thinks I'm ugly, he thinks I'm ugly, and I'm just sitting here, naked as the day I was born.
Her hands moved to cover herself and I stopped her, "No. Trust me, you are not ugly at all, Bella. Your name is apt, you are beyond lovely."
I shrugged out of my jacket, and laid it on the grass. She gazed at me with her huge doe eyes, her mind asking a multitude of curious questions, but she went silent when I began to unbutton my shirt.
Oh my God. Are we really going to do this? Can I?
"I have seen that you want to. That, in fact, this is your last wish - your only wish."
Her hand quivered as she reached out to tentatively touch my stomach.
Cold. Hard, but so cold.
"I have been in the ocean, Bella. You are just as frozen," I stated, looming above her.
Her smile was my undoing.
If this was all we had then I would make it perfect and we would both go up in flames.
I drank in every inch of her porcelain flesh, wanting to kiss and taste it all. Her breaths were coming in short, shallow gasps, and I had to bite back a groan. I could smell her arousal as the wind picked up; it was making it difficult to control my need.
Bella's fingers tickled at the waistband of my pants, and the sigh escaped my lips before I could stop it.
He likes my touch.
"Yes," I breathed. "Do it again."
Her fingers fumbled, as her tinkling laughter danced around us. The fronds of grass swayed in the wind, obscuring us from any prying eyes, and as a test I lowered my hips down to meet hers. It caused her eyes to roll back in her head, at the same time she pushed her hips back to me. I clearly wasn't the only one that needed more friction.
I held her head in my hands; my fingers stroking back the wet strands of hair from her forehead. Her continued rocking against me, as my lips crashed against hers. I moved a hand between us, unfastening my pants and then grinning when she used her feet to push them down.
I've lost my mind. I'm what they say I am.
"No," I denied, stroking my thumb down her slick opening.
She breath caught when I repeated the action, only this time slipping it between her folds. Her mouth fell open, a noiseless cry escaping, as she wrapped her legs around my hips. It opened her up to me, allowing me to replace my thumb with two fingers.
With anyone else I would have been hard, fast and fierce, but I didn't need to hear her say it to know I was her first.
Her only.
I brought my mouth to her neck, scrapping my teeth down the delicate column and feeling her sex clench tightly. Her thoughts were now no more than incoherent rambles, but they spurred me on, made me almost insane with need. Each movement of her hips against mine brought my erection closer to her heat, closer to completion.
Her fingers were digging into my shoulders, and if I was human I'm sure she'd have left marks. That thought made me want to leave one of my own, so I lapped at the skin at the base of her neck, hearing her moan, as I bit down as gently as I could. I was trembling, determined not to penetrate the skin, but it was taking everything I had, and when she undulated once more against me I snapped.
I pushed into her, hearing her mental cry at my invasion, and at the same time my teeth broke the membrane. I waited, listening to her thoughts. I needed to know what she was thinking, but all I received were sounds of distress, followed by groans of yes when I rolled my hips.
Her mind reeled with the experience, it glowed, and I shared in her experience. It was intense, the feeling of moving inside of her, watching her pleasure shoot through her mind like a star.
She was warm, a fire around me, and I burned for her. I watched her skin flush, felt her shudder, and her thoughts were no longer coherent as she tightened her legs around me. Her back arched, and she was tight as a bow as she cried out.
I was overcome with it all, and as I pumped faster into her, I could no longer resist the siren call of her blood.
I licked her neck, tasting salt and her and then my teeth grazed her flesh. I opened her skin, and taste her blood, as it dribbled into my mouth.
The euphoria of her taste, her smell, and my body finding release was too much. My mind seemed to explode with color and light, and I continued to drink from her.
The sun was just rising over the sea now, chasing the darkness from the sky.
It was almost time. Time for both of us.
I continued to drink, could feel her life draining into my mouth, down my throat.
"What're you doing?" she asked drowsily.
"Killing you."
"Oh God." It was litany, a final song from her lips as she put her arms around me. I could smell her tears. Her thoughts were those of joy, and the same euphoria I had felt only a moment before. I wasn't hurting her, of that I was sure.
"Are you afraid?"
"No," she answered, her voice full of wonder, "Thank you. I never thought that this, that it would," her breath caught on a sigh.
I never thought that my life would ever be this beautiful.
The sun rose higher now, the last of Bella drained down my throat. I closed my eyes, as the sun's rays burned across my back.
Euphoria still reigned in her mind. "Oh Edward! You're sparkling like diamonds!"
"Am I, love?"
"Yes. It's so beautiful."
In reality, it was the light meeting darkness, my darkness. It burned at me, until I was slowly burning, a flame licking over my skin hotter than anything I had ever felt before in my life.
Bella's heartbeat slowed, and I sucked at her neck, holding her to me, as she grew colder beneath me.
I continued to burn, and everything faded around me. It all faded to darkness, the last sound in my ears her final heartbeat, the graceful sound of her death.
And as my body exploded into a million particles, my final thought was for her.
A/N
Thank you for reading.