where have you gone joe dimaggio?
the record skips over and over for years.
ringo is locked away in a room with only that single record.
joe dimaggio is still yet to be found, where has he gone?
more and more people begin to vanish, first goes himmy. himmy was a real character he taught me the true meaning of 80s music and how it truely screwed up the young minds of society.
oh look who it is, its britney spears.
why are you here britney what do you want haven't you done enough? was the early 2000s not enough for you? of course not they didn't really stick around long enough.
*earths traditional ballad begins to play*
what the hell britney, we are looking for joe dimaggio there is no need for insensivitiy, we understand the doctor who reference that you are making, but now is not the time.
someone else emerges from the shadows.
it is whoreric.
obviously.
who else would it be, there aren't too many other characters written into these bad stories.
whoreric sees britney and runs away in fear.
what the hell whoreric. he is supposed to be our ogrelord and he has failed us.
he stumbles into a car with his wife, pattie boyd, who is also actually whoreric.
everyone is actually whoreric.
whoreric squints his eyes in a very awkward manner.
he looks as if he is in great pain what the hell are you doing this time whoreric.
his eyes shoot beams of beans at a britney.
she is fallen.
our great leader o f earth.
the world begins to crumble and people fall from the sky.
oh guess who it is. its joe dimaggio we finally found him.
ringo falls from the sky aswell.
i guess you could say he was a shooting starr.
the records come falling down after them. they smash against the cold hard ground.
everyone thought it was a beatles record but it was really simon and garfunkle those winners.
a beaming voice comes down from the sky omg.
who is it.
oh.
it is himmy?
"da fuk bruh' himmy says.
himmy is hella pissed.
"wtf himmy are u doin up there" whoreric says.
"im jus tryna chill" himmy replies as his snapback falls unto earth.
earth is engulfed in himmy's mad swag at this point, the snapback really did it.
people begin drowning in the swag. otheers were recording it, afterall they were 'doing it for the vine'.
proving their swag to himmy, hopefully he will save them.
"nah son hommie this isn't mad chill" whoreric says in the language of himmy.
the language of swag.
himmy is the leader of hell and doesnt wanna deal with whoreric's shit so he turns him into a pastery.
this is how himmy makes a living he turns his enemies into sweet pasterys, you wouldn't think that he has a bakery.
"it's so sweet you wouldn't think it was baked in hell".
himmy's bakery really took off, people were goin hella for himmy's pasteris.
he pretty much forgets about hell cos pasteries are consuming his life. soon, he too turns into a pasterie. and that is how the universe ends.
*mrs. robinson by simon and garfunkle plays in the distance*
ringo marches out of the ashes with yolo the pineapple. revolution is now.